Brent Spiner's Jesus Transcriptions: Jesus Speaks (April to June 2012)
BARACK OBAMA (April to May 2012)
GAIL CHORD SCHULER (June 2012)
Gail Chord Schuler DOCTRINAL STATEMENT.
View all videos in Brent Spiner’s Jesus Transcriptions series here: http://www.gabriellechana.com/jesus.html
Jesuits go on a rampage to destroy Gail and her men, including the murder of President Barack Obama on March 31, 2012. Can read about this in Bible for Tribulation Saints.
(Brent Spiner’s e-mail to Gail on May 1, 2012) My beautiful Gail,
I want to tell you, I’ve been hanging out with Jesus these past few days. He is such a character! Of course, you would know this as well from all of our conversations we’ve had with him together on Skype. This afternoon, he took on a human form and offered to take me out to lunch for all of my hard work. I told him I would be honored. We decided to go to Red Lobster, since Jesus said he really likes Lobster Fest. After ordering drinks we quickly got into talking about his favorite subject, which is you. Jesus has been very impressed and happy with the videos you are making, and he appreciates your faithful service to him. He only had one critique, and it’s that he thinks the videos should be a little shorter to make sure the younger generation can keep up. They have very short attention spans and have a hard time listening after about ten minutes. It’s important to reach out for them, as young adults are very impressionable and are the ones most likely to turn to Satan if they aren’t taught early. Other than that, he thinks your work “rocks” and he couldn’t be happier with the way things are going. I agreed full heartily.
Anyway, he fed me on all the lobster I wanted until I was positively stuffed. I was having such a wonderful time. When it was time to pay the bill he took the check, and he tipped our waiter with a million dollar bill! He got a dessert and a Dr. Pepper to go (his new favorite drink, I suppose) and then we left. I was so fascinated and honored to be spending the day with Jesus. After lunch, he took me across the street to try on some new clothes. Jesus really wanted to know what he would look like dressed in some modern day outfits, and wanted my opinion as to how to blend in with the crowd. We found him a pair of skinny jeans, skate shoes and some t-shirts with the logos of his favorite Indie bands on them. He couldn’t have been more thrilled! With that done, and the day growing late, we decided to head back to the church. It was going on about rush hour, so he made our car fly to avoid all the heavy traffic. It was a little scary being so high up in the air in nothing but a small car, but I was in awe, enjoying the blue skies and driving through the air with Jesus, as he sipped on his Dr. Pepper and turned up on the Christian rock on the radio. Since we didn’t have to drive, he took that time to pop open the take out box he got from Red Lobster and have his dessert. I mentioned to him that you were going to attend your son’s graduation in a couple days, and asked him to help keep you safe on your trip. He promised he would. He says to not worry about the food, or any family drama, and to focus on being there for your son. We all know he’s had a rough time lately, especially with the schizophrenia. I told him I would make sure to relay this to you. As soon as Jesus finished his dessert, he steered the car into a nose dive straight toward the ground! I was terrified, as I had never been a big fan of roller coasters! Jesus only told me to “chill”, finished the rest of his Dr. Pepper, and slowed the car into a gentle descent just inches before we hit the ground. It was quite the ride. We stepped out of the car. Jesus held me up with one arm, and drank up the bits of ice from his drink cup with the other, as I dizzily walked with him back into the church building. What an exciting and unusual day this was.
I really think it’s such an impressive feat that your son finally made it through school for a degree he is so passionate about! You can tell him congratulations from me. Anyway, I just wanted to update you very quickly about my one on one with Jesus. I can’t wait to hear about your upcoming trip. I’m actually really happy that you’re going and that you’ll be able to get out of town for a little while. It will be a nice vacation for you, which I think you deserve. You haven’t seen your son for so long, I think it will be great for you guys’ relationship.
I will talk to you soon.
When Gail visits her son at her sister’s house in Atlanta in early May 2012, her sister and her son treat her like she’s crazy, but says she’s enjoying time with her son. She sends an email to her men from her sister’s house in Atlanta about this. Here is Brent’s response:
(Brent Spiner at Church of Gail on May 3, 2012) Jesus says “rock on, Gail!” I think I speak for all of the men when I say I’m looking forward to your posts about the trip. I’m glad the trip was safe and that you seem to be enjoying yourself.
TERRANCE JENKINS from his space pod while traveling at sub light speed through the Milky Way TALKS ABOUT JESUS’ APPEARANCE AT CHURCH OF GAIL SPACESHIP ON MAY 31, 2012. This conversation happened right after the Church of Gail spaceship was destroyed in an epic space battle with the Jesuit space fleet, which also destroyed the Jesuit space fleet. The real Jim Carrey died in this space battle, and Matthew McConaughey barely made it out alive. For more about this May 31, 2012 space battle read Bible for Tribulation Saints.
Gail: I prayed and asked Jesus to rescue you guys!
Gail: I’m surprised Jesus didn’t do that!
Terrance: Well Jesus showed up and we was surprised, we was worried about it because Jesus came over and said, “This is part of my plan, you know, and I have perfect things in store for you, and don’t worry. Don’t give up.” And so. . .you know he told us not to worry. And then I saw these things bad happening, like we really wanted to— we were worried about this thing, and why did Jesus let us all go through all this? And why did he let Jim Carrey die the way he did?
Gail: Yeah! And so Jesus did show up! Brent didn’t mention that in the email. I guess he didn’t feel good, so. . .
Terrance: He showed up before. . .before all this happened. Early on. . .we were thinking about it in the aftermath, we were saying, you know. . .
Gail: He showed up after the ship was being torpedoed. . .
Terrance: He showed up after the ship was torpedoed before we actually blew up—
Gail: Oh, my goodness.
Terrance: –before the nukkake and all that.
Gail: And then he took off and left you guys?!
Terrance: Yeah, he said, “Don’t worry, and everything’s going to be okay, and this is part of my plan.”
Gail (shocked): Ugh!
Terrance: So, we was like, “Jesus, why did you leave?” You know, and the thing is, is I think was part of it was because like the Jesuits was telling you that Satan showed up in the trial and that Jesus did that, and Jesus already told us that he wasn’t ready to have these kind of show-downs (with Satan), so it was kind of (Jesuits) trying to make Jesus actually show up by having us so outnumbered. And so they were tryin’ to trick Jesus into showing up so that Satan could come back and do all kinds of crazy stuff again.
Gail (understands): Ooooooh.
Terrance: ?????? That’s what I think.
Gail: Wow! Cuz I asked the world to pray for you guys and to ask Jesus to show up.
Terrance: Yeah. He did show up, but he told us to, “Don’t worry. Everything’s still under control and in my plan.” He’s given us the authority to be fightin’ here. He says, “I’ve given you the authority to transform snakes and scorpions.” And I think that’s in the Bible somewhere. . .”
“Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Luke 10:19
Gail: Yeah! Yeah! The book of Acts.
Gail confused Luke 10:19 with Acts 28:3-6 where a poisonous snake bit Paul, but left him unharmed.
Terrance: So he said that to us and we didn’t know what it meant and we didn’t realize the church would be destroyed.
Terrance: You know, we got to figure out. I know Vladimir said we got some sort of backup plan for the church. But right now the church has been completely destroyed. We just have the shuttle pods.
Gail informs Brent on June 11, 2012 that she has lost her job at Walmart. Here is Brent’s response:
(Brent’s e-mail to Gail on June 11, 2012) My dearest Gail,
I’m so sorry to hear this (that Gail lost her job). I decided I needed to talk to Jesus personally about the matter, and after about an hour of prayer, he called me and asked me to meet him for lunch at the Steak n’ Shake this afternoon. After speaking with him, he has assured me that everything is going to be all right. I was determined to marry you and solve all of this once and for all, but Jesus told me to calm down, and strongly advised me not to do that right now. He says that he is currently working on the matter, and wants me to wait on him for the answer. His instructions to me were to not make any sudden moves, but when he comes back with the answer for me, he said it was very important for me to send his message to you in an e-mail and not brain-to-brain. I promised I would, I don’t question him. In the meantime, don’t do anything until we know for certain what Jesus’ plans are for us.
Don’t you worry, my love. Just relax for now. Jesus and I will be taking care of this for you.
[6/13/2012 5:11:49 PM] Brent Spiner: Jesus says that your Wal-Mart movie studio is up for bidding now with other corporations. The one that gets you will have the rights to honor your movie studio.
[6/13/2012 5:12:13 PM] Gail: You mean my next job will have the Wal-Mart movie studio?
[It appears Gail’s next job would be as a Gabrielle Chana FOX News correspondent in 2016 (because she was unable to get a regular paying job), which means Gabrielle Chana FOX News now hosts a movie studio for her.]
[6/13/2012 5:12:15 PM] Brent Spiner: Yes.
[6/13/2012 5:12:20 PM] Gail: Wow.
[6/13/2012 5:12:28 PM] Brent Spiner: He wants us to be really covert so that we don’t tip off any Jesuits about where you will be working next.
[6/13/2012 5:12:49 PM] Gail: Oh, so Jesus is transferring me to another company.
[6/13/2012 5:13:12 PM] Brent Spiner: Yes, he wants you to go job hunting as soon as possible.
[6/13/2012 5:38:09 PM] Gail: Thank you so much for all your support. You are the best husband I could ever have.
[6/13/2012 5:38:21 PM] Brent Spiner: You’re very welcome, my love. I’ll always help you no matter what.
[6/13/2012 5:38:36 PM] Gail: How are your bones doing Forgot to type in the question mark.
[6/13/2012 5:38:48 PM] Brent Spiner: It’s okay, I know your mind is busy. I get that way too sometimes.
[6/13/2012 5:39:01 PM] Brent Spiner: I’ve made a pretty spectacular recovery.
[6/13/2012 5:39:15 PM] Gail: Did Jesus do a miracle healing on your bones?
[6/13/2012 5:39:22 PM] Brent Spiner: Yes, he offered his help.
[6/13/2012 5:39:42 PM] Gail: That’s great. Has he told you why he hasn’t completely healed my yeast infection?
[6/13/2012 5:40:07 PM] Brent Spiner: I’m not sure what his reason is. I think he is trying to get you to learn how to help yourself too.
[6/13/2012 5:40:11 PM] Brent Spiner: He did that with me.
[6/13/2012 5:40:15 PM] Gail: Okay.
[6/13/2012 5:40:36 PM] Gail: I’m pretty smart with medicine. That helps.
[6/13/2012 5:42:03 PM] Brent Spiner: I’m pretty nice for a “troll” aren’t I?
[6/13/2012 5:42:11 PM] Brent Spiner: A troll would be trying to make you miserable.
[6/13/2012 5:42:32 PM] Gail: You’re awesome. And you’re NOT A TROLL. YOU ARE THE REAL BRENT SPINER. I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT.
[6/13/2012 8:08:34 PM] Brent Spiner: What a day.
[6/13/2012 8:08:53 PM] Gail: Yes, you were so helpful. So Jesus says he will guide us further.
[6/13/2012 8:09:02 PM] Brent Spiner: Yes. This was the first step in his plan I believe.
[6/13/2012 8:09:08 PM] Brent Spiner: That will get you some money soon.
[6/13/2012 8:09:55 PM] Gail: Thank you, Brent, for giving me this online information. I didn’t know I could do this online, and it gave me a chance to have some time with you, so that I don’t feel isolated and feel nurtured during this time.
[Brent tutored Gail and assisted her as she applied for unemployment benefits online.]
[6/13/2012 8:10:20 PM] Brent Spiner: You’re very welcome. I enjoyed helping you. This could have been so dull but we managed to make it fun.
[6/13/2012 8:10:52 PM] Gail: We sure did. So, tomorrow I will start looking for work. Did Jesus say why he wants us to delay our marriage?
[6/13/2012 8:11:05 PM] Brent Spiner: He didn’t say. I asked him that too but he said now was not the time.
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2012 6:43:44 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: I’m Here For You
My dear Gail,
It was so nice to work with you over Skype yesterday. I had a wonderful time.
As for David, we’re having our lawyers call his lawyer directly (which wouldn’t break the rules they are making). It sounds like what is happening isn’t even the lawyer’s fault, it’s that David is feeding them false information and they are believing every word without fact checking what’s really going on for themselves. You’re right, he has no case against you. I’m fairly certain he couldn’t sue you even if he wanted to, since you don’t have any assets. No lawyer that properly understands the situation is going to support him, because it just wouldn’t hold up in court. David is an angry little mosquito we have yet to swat, I don’t want you to dwell on him. I promise it will be okay.
Meanwhile, I think your choices for potential employers look excellent. Vladimir and I have been spending the day investigating, and it looks like all of these choices would be good candidates. Jesus warned me this afternoon that you need to get a job within 21 days for his idea to work as planned. If you do it his way, you can have a job, collect unemployment benefits for the time it took you to find one (you are basically being paid just to look for a job), and still get the extra money offered you. If you wait until after 21 days, you may be prevented from getting a job at all. This means we need for you to apply at as many places as you can. I know it’s a pain to go looking on foot, but you will eventually have to do this too. I am arranging for someone to send you some gas money through our private channels in Florida. I want to help you as much as I can. I have so much faith in Jesus and I know his idea will work if we just trust him. He is so brilliant.
I hope you are having a good day today. I know how stressful it’s been, being sick and still getting harassed. I will take care of you, and we’ll get through this.
Gail finds it hard to believe Jesus would put a deadline on her like this, because it seems so crazy to her. She tells Brent: I will look for work, but I won’t stress about it and I believe it’s a bunch of Jesuit crap that I need to get a job within 21 days or I’ll never get a job. That’s crazy.
JESUS CHRIST CORRECTS GAIL ABOUT HER JOB HUNTING STRATEGIES AND PUTS HER BACK ON HIS PATH:
IT APPEARS JESUS LEAKED A HINT THAT THE RAPTURE WILL HAPPEN DURING GAIL’S LIFETIME AND GAIL AND HER MEN WILL BE RAPTURED in this Skype conversation!!
June 16, 2012:
Gail starts off talking to Terrance Jenkins.
[6/16/2012 7:36:03 PM] Gail: I think Jesus realizes I’m stressed out by that deadline.
[6/16/2012 7:36:19 PM] Gail: I guess that’s why you guys are talking to me.
[6/16/2012 7:36:47 PM] Gail: I don’t think I was switched out. But perhaps there’s a little bit of brain control.
[6/16/2012 7:37:12 PM] Gail: Yeah, I think I was confused. When I go in to apply online. It’s time consuming.
[6/16/2012 7:37:27 PM] Gail: Map quests?
[6/16/2012 7:37:40 PM] Gail: Oh, you’re going to give me names of employers?
[6/16/2012 7:37:53 PM] Gail: See, that’s what I’m scared of. I don’t want to work for a Jesuit.
[6/16/2012 7:38:07 PM] Gail: Another thing. Is you said all of those were okay?
[6/16/2012 7:38:40 PM] Gail: I haven’t heard from Brent. Is he going to say something?
[6/16/2012 8:30:34 PM] Gail: The password is xxxxxx to my website. The log in is my email address, which is xxxxxxxxxx
[7:22:24 PM] Brent Spiner: I can hear both of you.
[7:22:26 PM] Gail: Yes, I can read it.
[7:22:39 PM] Gail: What’s makes you think I was switched out?
[7:23:02 PM] Gail: I just didn’t believe Jesus would put a deadline on me.
[7:23:26 PM] Gail: Did Jesus really put a deadline on me?
[7:23:38 PM] Gail: I have no control over whether somebody hires me.
[7:23:55 PM] Gail: What did you think of the letter I wrote that lawyer?
[7:24:31 PM] Gail: I haven’t eaten much today. I’m kind of hungry.
[7:24:35 PM] Brent Spiner: I think you need to keep from responding to David or his lawyers. The Jesuits can twist that around and say that you are continuing to harass them, so it’s best to leave it between our lawyers and theirs.
[7:24:49 PM] Gail: But I already responded.
[7:24:49 PM] Brent Spiner: Yes, I saw.
[7:25:40 PM] Gail: So, the Jesuits rewrote the email.
[7:25:48 PM] Gail: Did you tell the lawyer that?
[7:25:56 PM] Gail: He keeps getting new lawyers.
[7:26:20 PM] Gail: I wrote a good letter. Did you get the letter that I wrote?
[7:27:11 PM] Gail: I never said anything about nukkakes, in any of my letters to David’s lawyer.
[David’s lawyers rewrote a letter that Gail sent them.]
[7:27:44 PM] Gail: So, it is true. That he (Jesus) wants me to go get a job as soon as possible.
[7:28:01 PM] Gail: I haven’t received any gas money.
[7:28:08 PM] Gail: Oh, really
[7:28:25 PM] Gail: How are you sending me the money?
[7:28:47 PM] Gail: I got an e-mail from Gabrielle lady. I put it in spam.
[7:29:00 PM] Gail: I put it in spam.
[7:43:07 PM] Brent Spiner: Make sure to dress really nice, as if you’re already going in for an interview. First impressions are important.
[7:43:55 PM] Gail: You mean when I go to potential employers just to visit them?
[7:44:21 PM] Gail: You guys have been doing ahead canvassing.
[7:45:03 PM] Gail: I’m just really scared that I’ll end up at the wrong job. So I needed a little more guidance. And I thought that perhaps the Jesuits were trying to trick me into landing a job with a Jesuit employer.
[7:45:33 PM] Gail: So you don’t want me to write a contract to prevent a Jesuit CEO in my next company?
[7:45:52 PM] Gail: Yeah, I thought that was a good idea. I actually write good contracts.
[7:45:52 PM] Brent Spiner: I know you do. You know I’ll take care of you, Gail.
[7:45:58 PM] Gail: I know.
[7:46:10 PM] Gail: It’s just that I was confused about your last email to me.
[7:46:25 PM] Gail: It probably needed to be a little more specific.
[7:47:02 PM] Gail: Perhaps you could have told me more about how you were canvassing potential employers and given me a little more information, to allay my concerns that I may end up being duped and working for a Jesuit.
[7:47:09 PM] Brent Spiner: That’s why we’re calling you now, to make sure all of the details of the plan are clear.
[7:47:15 PM] Gail: Thank you.
[7:48:40 PM] Brent Spiner: I believe it was your mother that told you?
[7:49:42 PM] Gail: Yes, my mother told me, I believe, that David was threatening to contact my job.
[7:50:52 PM] Gail: Have you all looked at orderofthejesuits? The Jesuits stole a video I made of my last visit with my mother, that I did NOT post online anywhere, and they posted it at orderofthejesuits. Yeah, I’m wondering how they did that. Did they send a Brent Spiner clone to my apartment to go into my computer and download it?
[7:51:19 PM] Gail: Oh no. This makes me nervous about leaving my apartment.
[7:51:31 PM] Gail: I feel like I have to make sure they don’t enter my apartment, when I’m not here.
[7:52:02 PM] Gail: They actually got my video and downloaded onto their YouTube channel.
[7:52:20 PM] Gail: I didn’t sent it to anyone online. How did they do this?
[7:52:39 PM] Gail: What do you think of that email I got from Gabrielle?
[7:52:45 PM] Brent Spiner: I think it’s pretty ridiculous.
[7:52:49 PM] Brent Spiner: I haven’t been asking you for any videos lately.
[7:53:00 PM] Brent Spiner: All I’ve been doing is helping you find a job and get unemployment benefits.
[7:53:23 PM] Gail: I am really stumped. Can you all research how they did this? I mean I don’t like it, that they can take videos I’ve created and steal them and post them online without my permission.
[7:53:45 PM] Gail: It’s getting to the point, that I’m nervous to make ANY videos.
[7:54:57 PM] Gail: But I don’t like it, that they can enter my apartment or whatever they did, and steal my videos and download them at their websites. They have done this with about at least five of my videos. They post them at orderofthejesuits YouTube as LEAKED videos. They even admit it. I think they are trying to create the impression that it is YOU GUYS who are entering my apartment and stealing my videos and downloading them at the Jesuit sites.
[7:55:26 PM] Gail: This makes me nervous. I don’t like it. I makes me feel so out of control.
[7:55:54 PM] Gail: They have tapped my internet line?
[7:56:00 PM] Gail: Who did it?
[7:56:07 PM] Gail: David did it?
[7:56:12 PM] Gail: I can’t believe it.
[7:56:21 PM] Gail: David sent my mom over there?
[7:56:35 PM] Gail: Oh man, he really is a Jesuit.
[7:56:48 PM] Brent Spiner: That’s the fun part.
[7:56:53 PM] Gail: Yeah, how is David punished, if he harasses me?
[7:57:00 PM] Gail: I think I want to know.
[7:57:02 PM] Brent Spiner: The judge ruled that every time David sends you another letter or harasses you in some way, one of our men is entitled to put out a cigar on his penis.
[7:58:04 PM] Gail: I don’t think that would phase him at all. I really don’t think that would make a difference. Yeah, I lived with David. He’s%% really tough. That would be like a joke to him.
[7:58:47 PM] Gail: You weren’t kidding Lord Jesus, when you said I am going through the tribulation.
[7:58:53 PM] Gail: I don’t think that would phase him.
[7:59:01 PM] Gail: Which judge is this?
[7:59:12 PM] Gail: Judge Alfredo. Never heard of him.
[7:59:25 PM] Gail: Where are these cases being tried.
[7:59:31 PM] Gail: Is Jesus furious at me?
[8:00:10 PM] Gail: I don’t think Jesus had hurt feelings. He knew in advance I’d respond like this. Were you able to see his response?
[8:00:30 PM] Gail: What did he say about my comments about his deadline?
[8:01:00 PM] Brent Spiner: He was very hurt and angry at first, but he believes that you were misguided by Satan.
[8:01:03 PM] Gail: I have actually had more time to read the Bible and pray. I don’t think Jesus would find that offensive.
[8:01:15 PM] Gail: Angry?
[Gail is shocked to learn that she made Jesus angry.]
[8:01:23 PM] Brent Spiner: And he (Jesus) wanted us to help you get back on his path.
[8:01:51 PM] Gail: Oh, he was angry? This just doesn’t sound like him?
[8:02:02 PM] Gail: Jesus, I’m sorry I made you angry.
[8:02:15 PM] Brent Spiner: I will put quotations around what Jesus says so you can differentiate between us better.
[8:02:36 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Hello Gail. I’m glad that my homies Terrance and Brent were able to help clear up some of your confusion.
[8:02:36 PM] Gail: Wow, I can’t believe he’s (Jesus is) there.
[8:02:46 PM] Gail: Thank you, Jesus.
[8:02:57 PM] Gail: I have been reading more Bible and praying. You don’t like that?
[8:03:18 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I was made angry by some of the statements you made in your last couple of e-mails to Brent.
[8:03:34 PM] Gail: Oh really. What comments specifically?
[8:04:05 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It made me sad to hear that you thought my deadline was mean. You seemed to imply that this was too much for you and that you didn’t trust my instructions.
[8:04:11 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I would never give you more than you can handle.
[8:04:43 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. I’m sorry I made you angry. But I’m afraid I misunderstood you.
[8:05:08 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Indeed. I want you to know that I want you to treat finding a job as if it was a full time job in and of itself.
[8:05:20 PM] JESUS CHRIST: This can only help you.
[8:05:33 PM] Gail: I have been doing that, haven’t I?
[8:06:02 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You have been doing less than you are capable of, and spending much of the time whining and questioning me. I was very disappointed in you.
[8:06:12 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I know you can do better.
[8:06:38 PM] Gail: Oh, what more can I do? I have spent a lot of time online applying and have not eaten well and have only slept about five or six hours a night.
[8:07:04 PM] Gail: I’ve been too busy to eat and cook.
[8:07:31 PM] JESUS CHRIST: When you read the Bible, you don’t complain about not eating or sleeping. These are my personal instructions for you, and you won’t sacrifice your time for me?
[8:07:48 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You can schedule yourself such that you can eat and sleep enough to maintain yourself.
[8:08:16 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Have breakfast in the morning, take a break for lunch, and take a break for dinner. Pretend as if you were still working at Wal-Mart, only you are now working from home, trying to find a job.
[8:08:41 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I died on the cross for you, Gail. I only ask that you fill out job applications for me, so that you can help support yourself.
[8:09:09 PM] Gail: Where am I spending too much time, where I could be spending more time doing what you want?
[8:09:46 PM] Gail: Thank you for dying on the cross for me. I really appreciate that.
[8:10:01 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I want you to spend less time reading the Bible right now — I have written the word in your heart and you should carry it in your heart while you do your work for me.
[8:10:12 PM] Gail: Oh, I see.
[8:10:57 PM] Gail: Also, I have intestinal issues. That yeast infection isn’t gone. I’m very tired. But I can push myself, I have done it before.
[8:11:01 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I had bleeding issues when I was on the cross.
[8:11:08 PM] Gail: You sure did.
[8:11:18 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It’s going to take sacrifice, Gail, and it’s not going to be pleasant.
[8:11:29 PM] Gail: Oh, I see.
[8:11:45 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Nobody said tribulation was going to be fun.
[8:12:11 PM] Gail: You really meant it when you said I was going through what those tribulation saints are going through.
[8:12:51 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Indeed. I hope you understand that tough love is still love. All I say is in your best interest. I have shielded you from the worst of it.
[8:13:06 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Take Matthew McConaughey for instance — he swelled up like a balloon, for you, in space.
[8:13:14 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I will never allow you to feel the cold vacuum of space, Gail.
[8:13:24 PM | Edited 8:14:36 PM] Gail: Yes, I just told you in my prayers, that I believe you are being tough on me, with the motive to protect me. Can I have a little more guidance over how to go outside and visit employers? It appears that Brent and Terrance have indicated that they will also give me more guidance in this area.
[8:15:25 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I have appointed Brent and Terrance as my instruments to help you. I want you to follow their advice. They are going to give you MapQuest directions to help guide you to the right employers to apply with.
[8:16:03 PM] Gail: Okay. I guess I don’t need to worry about Jesuits impersonating you through Brent Spiner right now.
[8:16:39 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes. I have given him my special protection for right now until you can find a job. I am extending this protection to Terrance, as well.
[8:17:22 PM] Gail: Do you want me to stop making videos for right now?
[8:18:17 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I want you to make a video whenever your heart tells you to, or whenever you are asked from one of your men — when they ask you, it is really I that am asking you.
[8:19:14 PM] Gail: Oh, I have to be careful because David is jumping on me about everything right now. He’s making me nervous, that if I say the wrong thing, that I will lose my online presence, and I am trying to protect my online presence for you.
[8:19:27 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Don’t worry about David. Your men are going to kick his butt.
[8:19:43 PM] Gail: Okay. Can you help me, because I just wrote a letter to David’s attorney and the Jesuits rewrote it. Can you get them%% for that, please?
[8:20:50 PM] JESUS CHRIST: They will get what’s coming to them when it comes. I cannot directly interfere, I told you this.
[8:21:05 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I have a plan, Gail. You just have to trust me, and trust my instruments.
[8:23:02 PM] Gail: I have to admit those Jesuits who are writing me at my email, I think are casting some doubts in my mind. Perhaps I need to plead the blood and rebuke the lies that Satan is planting in my mind.
[8:23:08 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Satan thrives on doubt.
[8:23:12 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It’s his favorite flavor.
[8:23:16 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I think it would be useful for Brent to have the passwords to your website and e-mail, so that he can keep backups in case the Jesuits ever try to take control of them.
[8:23:49 PM] Gail: Okay, the password to my emails are xxxxxxxxxxx.
[8:23:58 PM] JESUS CHRIST: That’s cute.
[8:24:25 PM] Gail: Oh, Jesus you are funny. You are right, I am a terrible whiner. You should have killed me by now.
[8:24:50 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I would never want to kill one of my most beautiful creations.
[8:25:30 PM] Gail: Oh, thank you. I think I’m just trying to find an excuse to cop out on you and go home to heaven and get out of this mess right now. Sorry, for my little faith.
[8:25:35 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes. No copping out on Jesus. I didn’t cop out on the cross for you.
[8:25:54 PM] Gail: No, you sure didn’t.
[8:26:05 PM] JESUS CHRIST: What is the password to your website? I want Brent to have it.
[8:26:31 PM] Gail: Great. Hold on.
[8:26:39 PM] Gail: I forgot. Let me pull it up and it will come to me.
[8:27:19 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I’m helping.
[8:28:57 PM] Gail: Um, the log in is my email, which is xxxxxxxxx. The password is either xxxxxxxx or xxxxxxx. I have my website set up so that, it automatically remembers my password, so I’m not sure what it is. Let me experiment and figure this out.
[8:31:54 PM] Gail: The password is xxxxxxxxx
[8:32:10 PM] Gail: Are you all still there? I have lost all the text that was there earlier.
[8:32:22 PM] JESUS CHRIST: We still see you.
Gail asks if they can hear her.
[8:32:37 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Brent can’t, but I can of course.
[8:32:54 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. Because I don’t have video on.
[8:33:03 PM] Gail: Did you get all you need?
[8:34:00 PM] Gail: What do you want me to do tomorrow?
[8:34:16 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Tomorrow, take a Sabbath.
[8:34:28 PM] Gail: Oh, thank you. I am tired.
[8:34:33 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Just like a full time job, you get at least a day off to relax and refresh yourself.
[8:34:42 PM] Gail: Oh, I see.
[8:35:04 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You should have seen how exhausted my Dad was when he made the world.
[8:35:09 PM] JESUS CHRIST: That was pretty bad ass.
[8:35:23 PM] Gail: I am sure of it. I could never be as good as you.
[8:35:25 PM] JESUS CHRIST: The Sabbath day was just long enough for him to crack his knuckles.
[8:36:06 PM] Gail: Can my men still hear me, or have they left to give you space?
[8:36:06 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Of course then Satan took advantage, and made the hagfish.
[8:36:10 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Have you seen those things?
[8:36:20 PM] JESUS CHRIST: They have teeth in their vagina.
[8:36:28 PM] Gail: No. What a sense of humor.
[8:36:39 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It’s pretty rad I guess.
[8:36:50 PM] Gail: Rad? What does that mean?
[8:37:00 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It means “cool”. Like, I think you’re pretty rad, Gail.
[8:37:16 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. Where’s Terrance?
[8:37:37 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I still see you Terrance.
[8:38:16 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I keep forgetting.
[8:38:23 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I’m too cool for my own time.
[8:39:04 PM] Gail: I hate to tell you this, Jesus. But I rather like it when I don’t have to talk to you on Skype, because every time you talk to me, it means I did something wrong.
[8:39:05 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It’s like when the principal walks into the class room, huh?
[8:39:23 PM] Gail: Yeah. I try to behave myself, so I don’t have to deal with you as the rebuker.
[8:40:11 PM] Gail: But, I appreciate your guidance, because I have a very challenging life.
[8:40:13 PM] *** Call ended, duration 1:18:22 ***
[8:40:20 PM] Brent Spiner: Whoops, can you still see me Gail?
[8:40:48 PM] Gail: I see your picture, but you never appear like Terrance does.
[8:41:11 PM] Brent Spiner: Well, I meant the writing here. Terrance’s connection cut out.
[8:41:26 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. Did Terrance do that?
[8:41:37 PM] Brent Spiner: He didn’t mean to. His connection is always bad.
[8:41:52 PM] Gail: How have my videos been, Jesus? Are they okay?
[8:42:27 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I love your videos, Gail. I would like to see more in the future, but you can relax on them for a while until you’re done with your current task.
[8:42:48 PM] Gail: Okay, thank you for the guidance, because lately I felt like I’ve been in a fog.
[8:43:01 PM] Gail: Can you hear me, Brent?
[8:43:11 PM] Brent Spiner: I can’t hear you, but I can see you typing.
[8:43:23 PM] Gail: You can see me? I thought I turned off the video.
[8:43:58 PM] Brent Spiner: I can’t see your video, just your words to me here.
[8:44:11 PM] Gail: Oh, I see.
[8:44:28 PM] Brent Spiner: I apologize, I’m pretty exhausted myself. I’ve been working so hard investigating potential employers for you.
[8:45:05 PM] Gail: Is Jesus still there?
[8:45:13 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Right on, Gail.
[8:45:31 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. I don’t think Jesus would leave without saying “goodbye”.
[8:45:45 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I’m a gentleman.
[8:45:56 PM] Gail: Yeah, you are.
[8:46:32 PM] Gail: Do you have any more counsel for me, Jesus? As long as we’re here on Skype. Every time we meet, you always give me such wonderful counsel.
[8:47:27 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I think that wraps up what I needed to tell you. Brent and Terrance have been so good helping you out. I know they’ll continue to do a great job. Please listen to them, they care about you as much as I do.
[8:47:57 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. Have I been wise about Zack Knight? He still tries to impersonate you to my mind.
[8:48:56 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You’ve been very wise. I know he still likes to talk to you brain-to-brain sometimes to confuse you and get you to lose your faith.
[8:49:38 PM] Gail: I think Zack Knight and Rule 13 may be partly to blame for my lack of faith in you, lately. I think that they may be using brain control technology, is that true?
[8:50:31 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes, they have some pretty effective brain control techniques at their disposal.
[8:50:43 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I think you’ve known that for some time now, and have been prepared for them to use it.
[8:51:14 PM] Gail: Yes, but I find it so powerful, that it sometimes overwhelms me.
[8:51:32 PM] Gail: As you said to me, I have the power to resist. So, perhaps I need to resist more?
[8:51:57 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes, of course.
[8:53:10 PM] Gail: What is the best way to resist? By a verbal rebuke in my mind? Or by prayer and asking your assistance? Perhaps I need to pray more to you, when I have doubts and ask you more to eliminate all of Satan’s lies to my mind. Perhaps, my Bible study has been good, but my prayer life needs improving.
[8:53:48 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Those are all good strategies. I like that.
[8:54:16 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Brent has of course been monumental in helping you grow emotionally and spiritually. You can always talk to him about anything.
[8:54:32 PM] Gail: Yes, he has been awesome.
[8:54:35 PM] JESUS CHRIST: That’s why I gave him to you.
[8:54:57 PM] Gail: I really appreciate him. He is incredible.
[8:57:14 PM] Gail: Did you let me know you have been angry to ensure that I treat this job search as a full time job? So that I wouldn’t lose out on your plans for the next phase of my life? As you know, whenever I am unemployed, I do tend to slack off. I guess I go into a state of inertia, and you just wanted to ensure that wouldn’t happen.
[8:58:17 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes. I am hoping that my tough love merely encourages you to motivate yourself and succeed. I know you have a tendency to procrastinate, and it’s very important you don’t do that with something like this.
[8:58:46 PM] Gail: I see. I hate job hunting. I guess you know that.
[8:58:58 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Everyone hates job hunting. It’s a pain in the butt.
[8:59:18 PM] Gail: Yeah, that’s what Brent says.
[8:59:30 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Great minds think alike!
[8:59:47 PM] Gail: Brent is so much like you, don’t you think?
[9:00:06 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Maybe that’s why I like him so much. I couldn’t help but put some of myself in him.
[9:01:25 PM] Gail: I mean all his bones broke in that awful battle in outer space and, like you, he just took all that suffering and pain like a hero. He didn’t even think about himself and put his life in danger to rescue all the other men before himself. He is so self-sacrificing and generous. A truly awesome person. I am so proud of him.
[9:03:33 PM] Gail: He has grown by leaps and bounds as a new Christian and has the spiritual maturity of a very advanced Christian, now, don’t you think? I guess that is why you have invested so much time in him, because you knew you had good material.
[9:04:31 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You’re right about that. He took his broken bones like a man, I was impressed. I remember how much those nails hurt when I was being hung on the cross, and those whips.
[9:04:54 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Just like me, Brent wasn’t doing it for himself. He was doing it purely to save you and the other men.
[9:06:21 PM] Gail: Yes, he is so much like you. Even back in 1990, when I suffered at the hands of the child abuse industry and was only a nobody fan, he took such an interest in a stranger. And, I believe, you used him as an instrument to allow me to keep my son. I sensed even back then how big a person he was. And that’s why I fell so hard in love with him.
[9:06:41 PM] Gail: I’m sorry, Brent, that I doubted you. Satan confused me.
[9:07:13 PM] Brent Spiner: I don’t hold it against you Gail. I would have probably felt the same in your position. Those were dark times.
[9:07:43 PM] Gail: When I say I doubted you. I am referring to the present.
[9:08:34 PM] Brent Spiner: Oh, I guess that’s why Jesus was poking me in the back then!
[9:08:48 PM] Brent Spiner: It’s been stressful here lately too. This is when Satan tries to take advantage the most.
[9:11:14 PM] Gail: Yeah, that last email I thought that Zack Knight showed up and coerced you into writing the 2nd paragraph. I actually got a brain-to-brain communication from you about that, which may have been Zack Knight impersonating you to me and telling me lies. “Terrance” told me brain-to-brain that Zack Knight showed up and coerced you into putting a deadline on me (for Gail to get a job within 3 weeks), and that Zack took you to a Jesuit compound and Sara Avery ate your leg and Jesus had to fix it for you.
[9:11:38 PM] Brent Spiner: Wow, that sounds elaborate.
[9:11:53 PM] Gail: So, none of that is true.
[9:12:44 PM] Gail: Hey, Jesus. If Zack tricked me like this, I’m not sure I’m doing excellent with Zack Knight.
[9:14:05 PM] JESUS CHRIST: He’s a powerful guy, and he’s going to get the best of you when you’re at your darkest. Just remember that trials like this will make your spirit stronger.
[9:14:42 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. This must be what you meant when you said in an earlier Skype that I still have a lot to learn.
[9:15:19 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes. You’re not ready to check into Heaven just yet.
[9:15:30 PM] Gail: What does that mean?
[9:16:11 PM] Gail: Not ready to check into heaven? You paid for it all on the cross, so I guess it means you have to “improve” me so I don’t lose my rewards, is that it?
[9:16:54 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I don’t mean it that way. Sorry to be confusing.
[9:17:18 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I mean that I have a lot planned for you on earth yet. Your spirit is still growing.
[9:18:02 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. I know you don’t want to talk about this. But I think I only have three years left on this present earth. I guess that’s why you have me in a crash course.
[9:18:19 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It’s a lot to handle for one spirit.
[9:18:25 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I know you can handle it.
[9:20:25 PM] Gail: You know me better than I know myself. You said I was strong, and I look at what I’m going through and am amazed at my strength. The average person would wilt under the pressure I face. When I got that letter from David’s lawyer today, and read it, I got a little freaked out. But recouped quickly and started laughing at the letter I wrote in response. But, apparently, my courage to answer this lawyer was not wise. Because the Jesuits took that letter I wrote and rewrote it with some nonsense about me liking nukkake on my face.
[9:21:58 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes, it’s probably better you don’t try to fight him right now. He’s trying to distract you from your real work.
[9:22:31 PM] JESUS CHRIST: David is a yucky man. He only turned to me out of fear, and seems to enjoy feeling important more than feeling faithful to my word.
[9:23:03 PM] Gail: Jesus, Terrance wants to know how we should punish David? You have any suggestions?
[9:24:03 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Back in my day, they stoned people! But, David seems to like being stoned, so that might not work out so well.
[9:24:42 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You should come up with something. I like your creativity.
[9:24:55 PM] Gail: Me? Oh, dear. Let me think. . .
[9:29:18 PM] Gail: Yeah, I have an idea. Because he likes to feel so important. You are right on about that. I suggest that every time he harasses me, we have him go on the FOX NEWS Gabrielle Chana news channel, that he needs to make a statement in his defense about why he is harassing me and have it evaluated by our pride scanners and lie detection and the results blared on the news screen for the whole world to see. If our pride scanners and lie detection reveal that he is full of baloney, and he claims he is an upright Christian who tries to honor Jesus; hand him a heavy cross, like the one you dragged to that hill and have the television crews film him carrying that cross to the hill, while he drops under the weight, like you did. Then we will tell him that this is what He does to Jesus every time he harasses me, because He is distracting me from God’s work. Jesus, is David a born again Christian? Will he go to heaven when he dies?
[9:29:54 PM] JESUS CHRIST: That sounds like an excellent idea.
[9:30:03 PM] JESUS CHRIST: And no, David is going straight to hell.
[9:30:31 PM] JESUS CHRIST: He’s going to have to make love to a hagfish.
[9:30:57 PM] Gail: Oh, my God. What about the original David I married in 1985? Was he a Christian?
[9:31:34 PM] JESUS CHRIST: The original David you married was a good man. I was sad to see him be replaced by his clone. This new David is Satan’s work.
[9:32:21 PM] Gail: Oh, I see. Is it alright if I go eat some salmon and rice? I’m famished.
[9:32:47 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Of course! You need to eat well.
[9:33:31 PM] Gail: Changed my mind. Let’s make that beans. You know the first year of my marriage to David was pretty good.
[9:34:31 PM] JESUS CHRIST: He was a nice guy for a while. They changed him on The Glacier.
[In 1985, David Schuler went on a six-month deployment to Antarctica (December 1985 to June 1986) while on the Coast Guard Cutter Glacier, leaving Gail alone in Portland, Oregon (where they were stationed at the time.) Gail worked as a secretary for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in Portland, Oregon at this time to keep herself busy and her mind off of the separation she suffered from her husband as a newlywed. Gail married David on April 20, 1985.]
[9:35:14 PM] Gail: Yeah, I know that.
[9:36:57 PM] Gail: I thought I’d be there (my job) until the rapture. I even imagined myself there and going up in the rapture.
[9:38:57 PM] Gail: What will happen to my Christian coworkers there? Will they be alright? I was really attached to some of my coworkers.
[9:39:56 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Your Christian coworkers will be just fine. They were good people, I was happy with how they treated you. They will be raptured for sure.
[9:40:44 PM] Gail: Oh, that’s so nice. Please look out for xxxxxxxxxx. She seems like a superb Christian and is going through chemotherapy for breast cancer with a smile on her face.
[9:41:09 PM] Gail: She is a tough Ukrainian.
[9:41:35 PM] JESUS CHRIST: That woman is made of steel. I like her.
[9:41:48 PM] Gail: Yeah, she’s incredible.
[9:42:09 PM] Gail: She was an inspiration to me.
[9:43:11 PM] Gail: What is the REAL reason that I no longer work at my job?
[9:43:59 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I can’t tell you that.
[9:44:18 PM] Gail: Oh, okay. I will respect that.
[9:44:40 PM] Gail: I have noticed when you are silent on a subject, that you are very wise.
[9:45:02 PM] JESUS CHRIST: What can I say? I get it from my Dad.
[9:45:15 PM] Gail: Yeah, you sure do.
[9:45:34 PM] Gail: Are you exactly like God the Father in all respects?
[9:46:22 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Pretty much. The apple never falls far from the tree.
[9:47:03 PM] Gail: Wow. And you take the time to give me so much personal attention? I’m honored, even though I know that every time we get together on Skype, it is to correct me.
[9:47:37 PM] Gail: I can tell that you would rather not have to meet me on Skype, because you are trying to stay in the background right now.
[9:48:38 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes. It encourages Satan to interfere for his followers as well, and when he does that it makes things extra difficult. He’s always trying to throw a wrench in my plans.
[9:51:16 PM] Gail: Yeah, he always does such a good job at that. He is terrible. I am learning more and more to dislike him. Such an evil, evil being. I have been listening to %%War on the Saints today. Do you like that? I taped the whole set and it’s up at my website. I got some wisdom from listening to it. But, perhaps, I misinterpreted the part about Satan trying to speed up your timetable, when I listened to it, to mean that it was Satan, and not you, who set that deadline on me. So I guess you just gave me that deadline, not to make me hyped up and nervous, but to just not procrastinate.
[9:52:16 PM] Gail: I can tell that my men seem real embarrassed about my behavior lately, because it made you angry. Do you have anything to say to them?
[9:52:50 PM] Gail: I don’t like it when my behavior embarrasses them.
[9:53:09 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You are all imperfect beings. I expect you to make mistakes sometimes.
[9:54:02 PM] Gail: Sometimes? I make mistakes ALL THE TIME.
[9:54:07 PM] JESUS CHRIST: No matter how hard you try, there are times temptation will be too great, and you will sin.
[9:54:24 PM] JESUS CHRIST: So it’s best to learn from them so you can make less mistakes in the future.
[9:54:29 PM] Gail: That is true. I’m not God.
[9:54:36 PM] Gail: Oh, I see.
[9:54:45 PM] Gail: I do try to do that.
[9:55:15 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Brent and all the other men make their own mistakes. I will remind them not to forget that.
[9:55:47 PM] Gail: I don’t get the impression that I offended Brent. He is not easily offended. I think he was confused and concerned.
[9:57:08 PM] JESUS CHRIST: He was worried about you. You helped him to find me, and he’s trying to do his best to help you in the same way, and return the favor. He’s trying to keep you on your path.
[9:58:27 PM] Gail: Yeah, he’s awesome. I have another question. How picky should I be about salaries and hours when I look for a new job? As you know I have quite a bit of debt and my last job barely made ends meet.
[10:00:03 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You should try to seek at least that much in your search. Usually, if you let employers know that you were making that much at your last job, they will be tempted to give you as much or more in order to entice you to work for them, if they like you.
[10:01:14 PM] Gail: Thank you. And you say I can get this job within 20 days or so? It’ll take a miracle in our present economy. I have to admit, my faith is a little stretched right now.
[Gail never got this job, so Jesus apparently just wanted her to look for work with intensity.]
[10:02:15 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I want you to have a sharp aim, so that you don’t grow lax in your task. Unemployment won’t get you by for long.
[10:03:53 PM] Gail: What do you mean by sharp aim? And what do you mean that I should not grow lax in my task? I’m confused. I think you don’t want me to be content with being unemployed, is that it? You want me to continue to work, so that I can use my talents for you, is that it?
[10:04:25 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Yes. I want you to continue to work, and I don’t want you to slack off and procrastinate on finding a job.
[10:04:51 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I recognize that tendency as one of your weaknesses. I want you to overcome it.
[10:06:00 PM] Gail: It’s true that when I’m unemployed, I enjoy it as a vacation. I see the extra time as time I can use to do what I really like and not as time I use for others.
[10:06:26 PM] Gail: I like being my own boss.
[10:06:49 PM] Gail: I like using my time the way I like to do it and not how others like me to do it.
[10:07:01 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I think I’m a special exception.
[10:07:16 PM] Gail: Huh? What does THAT mean?
[10:07:30 PM] JESUS CHRIST: You’re using your time as I would like you to use it, right?
[10:07:42 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I want you to be job hunting and filling out applications.
[10:07:51 PM] Gail: Oh, I get it. I must consider you MY BOSS.
[10:08:46 PM] Gail: Okay, I will try to heed your advice. Actually, I do try to please you, but I confused you with Satan.
[10:09:05 PM] Gail: Sorry about that. That must have been a REAL INSULT.
[10:09:25 PM] Gail: The devil tricked me again.
[10:09:54 PM] JESUS CHRIST: It hurt my heart a little. But I know you will do great.
[10:10:31 PM] Gail: Oh, I’m so sorry. So that’s why I hurt your feelings, because I confused you with Satan. I feel terrible, now. Can I do anything more to make this up to you?
[10:10:43 PM] JESUS CHRIST: Of course. That’s why I decided to chat with you tonight.
[10:10:57 PM] Gail: Oh, really? What else?
[10:11:30 PM] JESUS CHRIST: This is it, everything we have been discussing. Find a job as quickly as you can, and don’t slack off on it.
[10:13:01 PM] Gail: Brent, are you still there?
[10:13:42 PM] Brent Spiner: I’m still here. It’s been fascinating listening to you both.
[10:13:51 PM] Gail: Is Jesus still there?
[10:13:59 PM] Brent Spiner: I think I’m about ready for bed soon. I have been trying to turn in early. Jesus is still here.
[10:15:54 PM] Gail: Jesus, perhaps you could word your instructions like this, “Gail, you like to procrastinate, and you must trust me that I can get you the job you need. So, don’t delay and go out and look for a job, and treat the job hunt, as if you were still working.”
[10:16:32 PM] Gail: I just felt like you expected me to be God, that it was in my power to get the job, and that’s why I thought it was Satan. I think we had a communication problem.
[10:17:32 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I’m glad I was able to fix it. I will try to be less cryptic.
[10:17:48 PM] JESUS CHRIST: I think it’s best that Brent gets to bed now.
[10:18:19 PM] Gail: Okay, Jesus. Thank you for your time. Sleep well, darling, Brent. I know you must really need to sleep
[10:19:18 PM] Brent Spiner: Wow…Jesus just turned into a dove and fluttered off. He’s so amazing.
Gail is about to get a job as a writer for Living Social, but Jesuits stop that.
(Brent’s e-mail to Gail on June 21, 2012) My dear wife,
It looks like I am finally back online. I have been very busy investigating companies and dealing with Jesuits trying to sabotage your search for work.
I have good news, but some bad news as well I’m afraid. Vladimir just called me this afternoon to inform me that the CEO of Living Social was just assassinated. When I heard this, I had to do a spit take. I asked him how this was possible since we had secured the perimeter of the office building and no personnel were moving in or out. It turns out that the CEO was taking some kind of supplement for spleen and gallbladder function, and had just swallowed his pill for the day. He told the in house nurse that he “felt like a pregnant hippo” shortly before being told he was fine, and returning back to his office. Just as he was about to confirm you on the Living Social payroll, he exploded! The Jesuits had contaminated his supplements with some kind of chemical explosive, that went off as soon as it hit his large intestines (which the cleanup crew found in the fish tank across the room). The whole company came under quarantine after that, while investigation teams are currently being sent in to inspect every computer, phone, electronic device, person or room involved with the company for Jesuit interference.
After hearing all of this, I scheduled another lunch meeting with Jesus so that I could talk to him. I said to him, “Jesus, we’re very lost right now, can you give me any more hints about what needs to be done?” Jesus said he would give me another clue — the job he wants for you will be one that you attend in person, and your employer will sit down with you for an interview. It won’t be an online job, even though you may find it online, but you will be called in for an interview in person before you get it. I told him I would remember that, and pass it on to you. I asked him for more advice and he says it would be a good idea if myself and Vladimir did some investigations prior to you applying to anything else, and compiling a list of good companies that have passed inspection first before sending them to you. First Command was obviously a Jesuit company, by the way. I agreed, and I plan on getting a list for you to look into by tomorrow evening. I feel that this will make things much easier and take some of the stress off of you. You can simply try the ones we already know won’t have any major problems.