Johnny Depp Regarding His "Wife" Amber Heard and "Abusing" Her (2016)

Gab Share


Brain to brain interview August 13, 2016 with Johnny Depp regarding his “wife” Amber Heard and his “abuse” of her:

GAIL: As I skimmed through my Facebook posts I noticed the news is covering you as married to Amber Heard and being abusive of her.

JOHNNY: First off, I’d like to state that I have been a proud member of your marriage list since 2012 and am absolutely devoted to you Gail.

GAIL: Can I ask you why you are on my marriage list?

JOHNNY: Gail, every guy worth his salt out here in Hollywood knows about you and you are one hell of a sexy woman.

GAIL: I beg to differ, but I do believe that you are loyal to me.

JOHNNY: Well, unlike that Jesuit b—-, Amber Heard, who started stalking me once I got on your marriage list, you are a very humble woman.

GAIL: Well, it does boggle my mind that I have so many world famous celebrities who are willing to be put on a list to marry me, when they know that I will only marry one man at a time!

JOHNNY: Gail, let me tell you. . .being a Hollywood star is the challenge of my life. Jesuits think they OWN Hollywood, you see, and those of us who won’t conform, get harassed, stalked and bugged. It’s like if we want to be a genuine, red blooded male who has some chivalry, some honor and some TRUTH in our life, that we get punished for it. This happens to all of us guys out here in Hollywood, especially us FAMOUS guys. It’s really hard to be a REAL MAN out here in the Hollywood Jesuit quagmire. So, all of us guys who dream about honor, and dream about being manly, noticed that a very brave woman, named Gail Chord Schuler, will stand behind us as a man, even willing to give her life to do so. I can’t help but respect that, Gail, and as it means more to me to be a REAL MAN than to have a marriage, I choose to dream about a woman who makes me feel like a man my whole life, even if I can’t marry her, than to marry a woman who DEGRADES ME AS A MAN, which, unfortunately, is the daily fare of many Hollywood men.

GAIL: This makes total sense. So you’ve never had sex with Amber Heard?

JOHNNY: Oh God, no! She’s the devil incarnate. And now she’s putting up this crappy, lying video of my CLONE making me appear abusive of her. Actually, I have cussed her out many times, trying to get the witch to stop stalking me, and she has decided to take advantage of this, to make it appear I have a bono fide relationship with her and that I am abusive of her. It’s all part of the Jesuit game to make any guy who loves you to seem like a first class CRUD.

GAIL: The Jesuits DID allow you to be the Sexiest Man Alive for People magazine.

JOHNNY: Oh, that! (laughs) I actually could care less about the title. I’d rather be the MANLIEST MAN ALIVE.

GAIL: Bravo! I have the deepest respect for courage and MANLINESS.

JOHNNY: By the way, though most of us guys on your marriage list are Democrats, we are very disappointed that Hillary has been murdered.

GAIL: So, Johnny, what do you think of Donald Trump?

JOHNNY: I gotta tell you, he’s not your standard Republican, and though I’m having a hard time getting used to liking a Republican, he’s turning out to be fairly likeable. All of us guys did have problems with his abusive comments towards women, but he seems to be toning that down. You know, like the stuff he said about Megyn Kelly. Donald’s been meeting with our fellow MASCULINE HERO, Vladimir Putin, for advice, and we can’t help but warm up to Donald a bit over that.

GAIL: Tell me a little bit about Amber. Give us a mini-bio about her.

JOHNNY: She’s a cheap Jesuit actress, only famous because she’s a Jesuit. A no talent woman. A vile, evil woman who would be about as famous as a maid, if not for the fact that she is A JESUIT. Zack Knight created her in cloning labs, and designed her to be a Hollywood actress. Her trademarks are LYING, RAPE, and PRIDE and VANITY.

GAIL: Has she tried to drug rape you, or bomb rape you, like Loree McBride has drug raped Brent Spiner or Camila Alves has bomb raped Matthew McConaughey?

JOHNNY: I’m kind of reluctant to go here, Gail, because I tend to be rather extreme about things, sometimes. Yes, my dear, that b—– has tried both on me, and but you see, Vladimir has taught me some martial arts and I’m a good kicker, good at judo and she hasn’t had much luck. So her only option is to portray me as abusive, since she can’t get me to “do her” as she has tried over and over. In her frustration, because Zack Knight considers her a failure as a Jesuit agent, she can only resort to lies and making videos about her and my clone arguing over something stupid.

GAIL: Which guys on my marriage list are adept at the martial arts?

JOHNNY: Hugh Jackman is pretty good, but nowhere as good as me. Vladimir and I are the judo masters and we both know a bit of karate as well. It makes it impossible for Jesuit bitches to rape us, so they rage at us, because they’re sexually frustrated, you see.

GAIL: Okay, Johnny, let’s get this out. I really don’t know much about you, but I did know that you are on my marriage list.

JOHNNY: Yup, and I plan to STAY on your marriage list, and am absolutely devoted to you.

GAIL: I think a lot of those Jesuit agents do excel me in physical attractiveness, but I do understand why you would not want them.

JOHNNY: Well, you may be an older woman, but you are one hell of a sexy woman, Gail – take my word for it.

GAIL: Let’s make this a wrap, and let’s hope that people will see through this barrage of Jesuit lies about my men.

JOHNNY: Thanks Gail. We can always count on you.

GAIL: Can you explain how your sexual needs are met? I’m sure Jesuits will bring this up to show that my interview with you is a farce.

JOHNNY: First off, I’d like to say that any REAL MAN cares more about his manliness than his sex drive, and since Jesuit bitches only care about sex and don’t give a flip about true manliness, they hold no attraction to me. But we all have Gail dummies, who are like androids that we can have sex with, when the urge bites us. I’d rather make love to my Gail dummy any day over a Jesuit bitch like Amber Heard.

GAIL (laughs): And one of those dummies escaped in 2012 and we ended up battling her. That was the GA1L Android. She almost destroyed the human race.

JOHNNY: Yeah, we make SURE that we never take our dummies out to dinner, like Keanu (Reeves) did, lest Jesuits steal them and tamper with them, giving them sentience, which, unfortunately, with Keanu’s dummy, ended up making his dummy obtain singularity.

GAIL: Yes, that turned out to be horrifying. We all had to die and be resurrected by God himself in our final battle with the GA1L Android.

JOHNNY: The only thing Jesuits are good for is monster science, lies, murder and rape. I’d never want a Jesuit, like Amber Heard, EVER. Never married the bitch. Never dated the bitch, and never WANTED the bitch.

Copyright © 2016 Gail Chord Schuler. All Rights Reserved.