A Narcissist's Codependent to a Writer for Brent Spiner & God
This is the song Brent sang which clued me into the fact that he made Ol’ Yellow Eyes Is Back for me in 1990/1991. The rest of the songs in Ol’ Yellow Eyes Is Back convinced me that Brent Spiner really loved me. Heartbroken that I was married, I gave him my heart, but denied him my body. Jesus told me that it was not the time for me to go to him now, but that He would give Brent to me later.
His love so inspired me that I began to escape from my codependent prison married to a narcissist. Because of Brent in my life, I decided to spread out my wings and try to break free and pursued a dream I had as a teenager to be a writer. My goal was that everything I wrote would be my way of making love to Brent. I planned to write Silver Skies just for him and to give it to him as my love present. I wasn’t even sure if I would publish it because so much of it was a baring of my own heart and I wasn’t sure I was ready to go public with the writing that was such a baring of my soul, especially with a very jealous husband in my life. I just wanted to nurture Brent with my writing in the 1990s. Everything I wrote in the 1990s was for Brent Spiner, because he was liberating me from my codependent emotional prison. This was my subconscious telling me to be true to my REAL SELF and not to be ashamed of it (as my narcissist mother taught me), but to EMBRACE it.
What caused me to become “addicted” to Brent Spiner as a friend was when I saw him in Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s “Pen Pals” in that I felt an intense need to write him (about once or twice a month) and share my innermost thoughts with him, because I felt so alone in my marriage. Brent seemed to be a man filled with empathy, the total opposite of my cold, narcissist husband David Schuler. I did not know it then, but David was also a pedophile and was sexually abusing my son. This explained why my son was such a horrible bed wetter. I was always changing his sheets. I was right about Brent. Because the man (Brent) himself has empathy (unlike my narcissist husband), he was able to bring it out so brilliantly in the character of Data in Star Trek: The Next Generation. By contrast, the Brent Spiner CLONE fakes empathy to maintain his false image as the REAL Brent Spiner. I have genius emotional I.Q. I can tell (especially after being married to a narcissist and raised by a narcissist) when a narcissist (Brent Spiner clone, Loree McBride, etc.) is faking empathy. If Star Trek: The Next Generation was still on air and in production, the Brent Spiner clone would fail in his performance as the real Brent. I believe the Brent Spiner clone lacks the emotional I.Q. needed to be as great an actor as the REAL Brent Spiner. The reason he can succeed now as the REAL Brent is because Brent isn’t in a show that requires him to act full-time. The Brent Spiner clone went public in 2011 and starting around 2014, began to replace the real Brent online and in the media. Brent did the real performance in the sequel to Independence Day and the Brent Spiner clone is claiming that as his own performance. But if ST:TNG was running as it was in 1987 – 1994, the REAL Brent could easily expose and remove the clone from his life by contrasting the clone’s acting performance with the REAL Brent’s acting. The clone is INCAPABLE of a good three-dimensional performance, because he’s a one-dimensional narcissist. That may be one of the reason the Jesuits cancelled Star Trek: The Next Generation at the height of its popularity and replaced it with other Star Trek shows, so they could introduce the Brent Spiner clone into the media and use him to replace the REAL Brent Spiner in the mainstream news and Internet to promote the lie that the REAL Brent has had a mentally healthy relationship with narcissist Loree McBride and that he has never been interested in me (which is the farthest thing from the truth).
If not for Brent in my life and that he called me on the phone, I would not be a writer today. He inspired me to embrace my TRUE SELF and part of that is being a writer. I think I was born to write. I’m not saying that even born writers don’t need to study the craft and learn some skills. Here is a page devoted to my approach to my writing craft and books that have inspired me as a writer and that have taught me how to write: https://gabriellechana.blog/gail-chord-schulers-favorite-books-movies/
God gave me the temperament, the I.Q. and the personality to be a writer. I am now true to my God-given calling. I have found my work and it is such a great joy to write for Jesus. I started off only as a writer for Brent and God used my love for Brent to turn me into a writer for Jesus. It is very possible that my latest work, Bible for Tribulation Saints, may be added to the Biblical canon. I know that I have written exactly what Jesus has said to us and how many people get that privilege? Jesus even gave me His permission to make him the main character.
I do not write for money or for fame, though my men tell me that just about everything I write has been made into marvelous movies. Steven Spielberg is one of my greatest fans. This does not go to my head. It only reinforced to me that when we have found our God-given calling and we honor our God-given talents, that God can use us to be a blessing to the world. I strive to be a better writer. I am my own worst critic and always feel I need to improve. My goal though has always been to write what I myself like to read or to watch as a film. Since there isn’t much I really like out there, that makes me have high standards for myself. Frankly, I think the narcissists in Hollywood have ruined most of the films coming out of Hollywood now and my goal is to correct that and add some films that will change lives for the better and encourage people to embrace the greatness that has the potential to reside in all of us and to encourage all to break free of the cold shackles of mindless conformity into liberating freedom and love. If my writing has done that, then that is all I could ask for.
My favorite novels embrace themes about being true to ourselves and breaking free from societal shackles that try to force us into an unhealthy conformity. So my favorite novels are Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice.
But back in the 1990s when Brent first came into my life, I disdained psychology and did not know I was a codependent and that Brent’s love for me was setting me free. I didn’t even know I was married to a narcissist and raised by a narcissist. In fact, I was taught by my church that psychology was based on New Age teachings and was of the devil! As a codependent who believed I was destined to be that way forever, I was in denial about a lot of things in myself and in others. I only knew that Brent’s love for me transformed me and made me feel like I had escaped an emotional prison (I actually HAD escaped an emotional prison because of Brent) and that my soul was flying in freedom through the skies because of this amazing and great man (Brent Spiner who came into my life) and I wanted to write a love story to show that. By the way, I’m STILL not finished with Silver Skies! But Steven Spielberg made it into a movie any ways!
In 1996, I found out about Loree McBride and this confused me greatly about Brent. I began to doubt whether he was as great as I thought he was. But he had already liberated me from my emotional prison and I wasn’t going back, so I engraved Franco Nero into my life as Brent’s substitute in 1996. You see, Brent had a wiretap on my phone and I could talk to Brent and his friends on the phone! I noticed this infuriated Loree McBride and she tried to seduce Franco in Dec. 1996. I could tell by looking at photos online. Yet Brent still kept her as his girlfriend. At this point, I knew Brent and Loree had a very unhealthy relationship. I just concluded Brent had emotional issues and for some strange reason could not get rid of this predator in his life. Then Loree viciously attacked me in 1998, almost murdered me by using a look alike of my son to almost burn down my mobile home in 1998. I noticed she got the police to cooperate with her and they were of no help whatsoever in helping me find the arsonist. Loree loves to start fires. I was able to piece it all together in Dec. 1999, when God told me in a still, small voice that Loree was a Vatican agent. I knew then that Loree somehow extorted herself onto him and that he never wanted her ever. That he was in love with me the whole time and maintained her to somehow protect his love for me. I then cried for 3 hours and offered him my hand in marriage. I knew that he only kept this deadly woman in his life out of his desire to protect me and that WAS TRUE LOVE. At this time, Jesus told me that if I did not divorce my husband, I would be dead within a couple years. So with divine approval, I went ahead with a very contentious divorce. It is NEVER EASY to divorce a narcissist! I also felt for Brent because I sensed Loree was an abuser like my husband and I knew what it was like to have a relationship with an abuser! Brent saved me emotionally from my abuser husband and I deserted him emotionally (1996 to 1999) when this abuser entered his life. That’s why I cried for 3 hours in Dec. 1999 when God told me Loree was a Vatican agent. I felt so evil for not seeing the truth about him and for losing faith in the greatness of Brent and his vast love for me! I was right from 1991 to 1996 to think I had a great man in my life. Why did I allow this abuser (Loree McBride) to shatter my faith in the greatness of my long-distance lover and to cause me to emotionally betray him by deserting him for Franco Nero? By the way, Franco is super cool and I’m glad he’s with Vanessa Redgrave now. I told myself the only way to make it up to Brent was to marry him and so I offered him my hand in 1999 and I have never retracted it since. I will never betray this great man ever again! I couldn’t respect myself if I did.
In 2000, I started going through divorce proceedings. My love for Brent gave me the courage to break free from my narcissist husband. I was about half-way thru my journey to escape my codependent mindset. With Brent back in my life, God told me to return to my writing and to continue to write for Brent and that by doing so, I would be writing for God. I resumed my writing in 2000. I did move onto Vladimir Putin after Sept. 11, 2001, but I told Brent that if he came to get me, I’d go to him still.
I fought for custody of my son and lost due to the fact that the judge and everything was stacked against me. My husband got a clever lawyer, who got me painted as a crazy lady and that’s how he won custody. My son was so traumatized by the divorce he didn’t have the emotional strength to admit me to me or his psychologist that his father sexually abused him. And perhaps my son was worried if he ended up with me, he might be homeless because I didn’t have a job at the time of the divorce. Though I was sad I lost custody, in a way I was relieved, because I knew if my son stayed with me, the Jesuits would harass him and never leave him alone, in order to paint me as an insane lady unable to properly care for my child. I thought with his father, he would have a measure of peace. Of course, I didn’t know that his father sexually abused him. Good news is because I fought for custody this forced David to stop sexually abusing my son and after the divorce and he got custody, he just moved onto other boys besides my son and left my son alone. The bad news is that he was abusing other boys. But he will end up in hell, even though he goes to church all the time. Jesus told me. The divorce actually worked out good, because it forced David to curtail some of his abuses against my son, giving my son a measure of peace, that is, until David married a woman who was a narcissist like himself and then my son left the house as soon as he could.
Being a devout Christian, I have always believed in Romans 8:28. And my faith in Jesus is strong. But Brent Spiner helped me to grow into the woman I am today, who is strong, self-reliant, courageous and loving. I have developed my God-given talents, including writing and am using them for Jesus. One day Jesus promised that I will marry this amazing man, the REAL Brent Spiner. I believe it. God never lies.
Copyright © 2018 Gail Chord Schuler. All Rights Reserved.