Gail's Insights into the Narcissism of Jesuits, Her Sister & Mother
Gail does not believe that Zack Knight or Rule 13 ever suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They didn’t divide people into all good or all bad and were able to maintain close emotional ties with each other even when feeling disappointed by the other. People with full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder, because they do not have an identity, do not know who they really are, but are consumed with a false and perfect image of themselves that they viciously defend to themselves subconsciously and it manifests itself in lack of emotional impulse control, in that whenever their illusion of self-perfection is threatened emotionally, they lash out at those who make them doubt their illusion of self-perfection. Zack Knight always knew he was the guy with the perfect penis and that he had unusual powers to impregnate people, even able to impregnate women in menopause or even men. He did have likings for erotic sex, throwing in animals and erotic thrill making, which is something he had in common with Rule 13, which explains why the two fell in love. Satan lied to him, being the narcissist and manipulator that Satan is, and told Zack that Jesus was against his sexual preferences, causing Zack to hate Jesus for being an unfair prude. Hanging around Satan encouraged Zack to become somewhat narcissistic, but Satan was never able to give Zack full blown NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Gail believes that Satan himself has NPD, which explains why Satan’s bride, the Jesuit Order, attracts people with NPD or tendencies towards NPD.
When Rule 13 hung around Gail and her men she saw true love in action and wanted it for herself and Zack Knight, sensing that what she felt for Zack and what he felt for her was true love. But Satan forbids his Jesuits true love, telling them that is his biggest beef with Jesus, in that Satan says that Jesus lies to the world and tells them true love exists, when it does not and that Jesus, on his big ego trip, expects everyone to be as perfect as him and punishes people for falling below his impossible and unrealistic standards. That Jesus deliberately created imperfect beings to show off his own perfection. Satan totally overlooks the fact that Jesus died on the cross to pay for mankind’s imperfections and that his creation was perfect when he created it, but that he gave them free will and they choose to disobey him and that’s when the sin corrupted the universe, introducing imperfections into the matrix. Jesus then had two choices: destroy his creation and start over, which he did sort of with Noah and when Lucifer fell and became Satan, or make a way for his imperfect creation (marred by the sin disorder) to come to him, by dying on the cross to pay for their sins. Satan claims that Jesus dying on the cross was a stupid idea, cuz the universe is still disordered and in chaos. But Jesus does things on his own time.
Gail’s mother apparently grew up in a Japanese home where the male ruled the roost and she suffered either abuse or neglect at the hands of her father. She never talked about her father, but often joked about her mother with affection. She was apparently valued for her physical beauty, which she had in abundance, but devalued for everything else. She rarely said good things about any man. Gail believes that her mother suffered from a weak NPD, which became worse after Gail’s dad had an affair with another woman during the marriage. She then became abandoned by Gail’s dad and transferred her fear of male abandonment to Gail and her sister. Fear of abandonment is an obsession with NPD. After her divorce to Gail’s dad, her borderline NPD became full blown NPD with some rare times when her sanity overcame insanity and she exhibited normal affection for Gail and her sister. During Gail and Sandra’s (Gail’s sister) elementary school years, mom left her kids with her ex-husband’s parents for summer vacation. During this time, Gail saw a pretty healthy marriage in action. But Gail’s paternal grandfather seemed obsessive-compulsive, the same problem his genetic brother Howard Hughes had. I think my paternal grandpa knew that he was the brother of Howard Hughes and was very ashamed of it. His mother, who was the mother of Howard and himself told him when he was a boy that he had been adopted into the family that was raising him. His mother got into trouble by having sex with Howard Hughes Sr, causing the birth of my grandpa and his brother Howard Hughes. He learned to value women as better than men because his mother kept him and adopted him, but felt that Howard Hughes’s father neglected Howard and that’s why he came out the way he did spending his entire life overcompensating for the guilt he felt for being a man and having a normal sex drive – this resulted in obsessive-compulsive disorder, where he often spent time moralizing everybody around him to death. As a result of the shame he felt for his mother, who was punished for honoring her sex drive with Howard Hughes Sr., my grandpa secretly felt guilty for any sexual desires he had. To overcompensate for this, he married a woman, my grandmother, who was a very good woman, he went into the ministry, so that his sex with her would be virtuous in every way. Not a word did he say about Howard Hughes to ANYBODY, this was a subject of great shame to him and the mother he adored. He tended to idealize women, especially ones that reminded him of his mother. For this reason, my dad felt neglected and became a cold father and lover to my mother, rebelling against his overly strict religious upbringing by an obsessive-compulsive dad who punished my dad growing up just for being MALE.
Now my sister and I spend summer vacations with our obsessive-compulsive grandpa, who became obsessed with morality and moralizing everyone around him to death, feeling a need to justify his own morality (feeling inferior for causing his mother’s shame just by being born out of wedlock). My grandpa’s entire life was obsessed with justifying his mother to the world. He treated my grandma like a queen and left her everything when he died. He transferred some of his mother worship to my sister, who, apparently, had personality traits similar to his mother. This caused him to show his penis one day to my sister and invite her to have sex with him one time. I remember my sister told me about this once, and I felt really embarrassed for her. When this happened, my sister was becoming a narcissist just like my mother. My sister had more personality than I did growing up and she was viewed as cute and charming. I was more dead and like a blank page, because I was so shy, because of my mother’s narcissism which made me feel worthless. My sister was the pampered golden child and I was the object of most of the abuse. My sister’s self-worth, therefore, was embroiled in making my mother happy who pampered her as the golden child. So my sister adopted my mother’s narcissism.
I, on the other hand, struggled with depression over feeling worthless. Finding Jesus gave me a lifeline and I now put all my self-worth in being the perfect Christian, to make me feel worthy and I disdained my mother’s morality, which was pretty atheistic and shallow, based on creating good impressions and not allowing ourselves to become vulnerable to anybody. My sister sided with my mother and figured this was the way to success. She adopted my mother’s hatred and distrust of men, and the view that women were superior morally to men. For this reason, she made sure to make herself financially independent and trained herself for a career where she’d never have to be at the mercy of a man, like my mother was. My sister and I grew up close to poverty or very low middle class, because of my mother’s divorce, but it was not that bad, because my dad was an Eastern airlines pilot and he was paying alimony and child support to my mother. But my mother reminded us every day, that it was her strength against a cold world that kept our family from being on the streets. My mother taught us that we could trust nobody but her and that the cruel world was against us and most men were unreliable and could easily throw out any woman onto the streets.
I became the co-dependent and, as a teenager and young lady, looked for a partner who was stronger than I and would take care of me. I ended up marrying a narcissist like my mother. My sister ended up marrying men she could control, and if she could not, she divorced them (her first husband). Her second husband, was a nice guy, and put up with my sister’s bossiness. He lacked the virility of the men that I attracted.
When I first married David Schuler, my sister felt that I got a pretty good catch and she wanted the same for herself. So after her divorce, she got involved with a church, to find a guy like the one I had. She also noticed, that when we were teenagers, that I managed to get some desirable guys to take me out on a date. She lived with some guys before marriage, which she knew I did not respect about her. But she didn’t care, cuz, like my mother, men were objects to control, not somebody to fall in love with and show your vulnerabilities to. If she wanted sex, that was cool, and as a narcissist, honored her impulses and had poor emotional impulse control. So I got married and my sister settled down with her second husband, and made sure to advance in her career so she would never be at the mercy of any man and never end up like my mother, struggling in poverty to raise her kids because of a man who abandoned her. Because my sister managed to succeed in financial independence, to my mother, she was the golden child.
I, on the other hand, chose to stay home and be in submission to my narcissist husband. The first year of the marriage was pretty smooth, though we had arguments when he chose his reputation in the church over me, even if the church abused me. The narcissistic abuse with David got worse with every passing year. But I told nobody about this, I figured I was stuck in this marriage because of my Christian convictions against divorce. You see, I had to be the perfect Christian. This was my overcompensation against depression for being so worthless (how my narcissist mother raised me). My sister and family had no idea of the dynamics in my marriage, I played my husband’s game and treated him like he was perfect and we seemed to have an ideal marriage to the world. But inside, I felt so alone and I had no true friends. That’s why I started writing Brent Spiner, to just have a friend, somebody I could show my vulnerabilities to and who could not harm me because of that.
So my sister and I lost contact pretty much after our marriages grew in different directions and we pretty much drifted apart, our lives going in different directions. I playing out my co-dependency and my sister playing out her narcissism. My sister wanted children and despised her first husband who didn’t want children. You see, my sister hated my father for abandoning her and planned to be just like my mother, who claimed to love her children. My sister would never abandon her children. In fact, like my narcissist mother, my sister had fears of abandonment and never trusted any man, which explains her financial independence. And I, the co-dependent, overly trusted men (in rebellion to my mother) and wanted someone like my mother – stronger – to take care of me. I also had fears of abandonment as a teenager, and this was one reason I turned to Christianity, cuz I figured if I followed God’s will, he would never give me a husband that would abandon me. So I made sure to be the PERFECT Christian, making myself overly rigid and legalistic as a Christian. My goal was a PERFECT MARRIAGE. I figured if I was the perfect wife, the man was bound to honor and love me. I figured that part of the reason my mother suffered divorce was because she was so bossy and nasty and because her moral standards in men were too low. At the time of my divorce, I could have easily been on the streets. I had no job skills and my degrees were not in fields that were employable. I also struggled with health issues that made it difficult for me to work. For this reason, to both my mother and sister, I was an utter failure. The fact that I was a Bible scholar and loved Jesus was seen as part of my mental illness or weakness or defect. The mere fact that my mother had to take me in, just reinforced to my mother and sister that I was inferior to them. Cuz to their narcissistic view, if I was not rich and financially independent, I was weak and inferior. That’s how their narcissism is set up. I did not tell my mother or sister about Brent Spiner or the famous men in my life at first, because I knew they would not understand the dynamics of my long distance relationship with Brent and the abuse we suffered from Loree McBride and the Jesuits.
My mother got lucky and married a great guy, my stepdad, a retired Army Lt. Colonel, in the 1980s. In the early years of her marriage to him, they had great sex and she had genuine affection for him. He helped to heal her from her narcissism. He took good care of my mother. I think that when they were having great sex, she may have actually been cured of her narcissism. But when he had health problems and could no longer make love to my mother, her narcissism returned and she reverted back to the way she was when she raised me and my sister. When I lived with her, from 2001 to 2004, because Loree kept me from being with Brent, my mom was narcissistic, and I couldn’t wait to get out from under her control, which I was able to do when I got a job at Walmart in 2004. But she still demanded that I come over and clean for her all the time to pay her back for the money she spent on me when I couldn’t be with Brent and was divorced. My step-dad was very kind to me always and helped make it more bearable when I was with them. I have nothing but fond memories of him. He is now in heaven.
In 2012 when my son graduated from college, I went to his graduation. My son left home as soon as he could, because my ex married a narcissist like himself. My son was living with my sister at the time of his graduation, who treated him well, from what I understand, when I went to his graduation. Apparently, being able to take care of my son, fed into her narcissistic image of herself as the perfect parent and strong woman, something she needed to believe to feed her narcissistic belief that women like her were perfect and strong and better than men. She got this from my mother. She was the golden child and lived up to my mother’s expectations most of the time. The Jesuits threatened harm to my sister’s family if she wouldn’t abuse me when I stayed with her for my son’s graduation in 2012 and she deliberately cooked food that I felt I was allergic to and treated me very rudely when I stayed with her. But I was proud of her for graduating summa cum laude from her master’s degree program. She had achieved financial independence, something the Jesuits prevented for me. In my twenties it was my fault that I did not achieve financial independence, because I was a co-dependent. But Brent got me out of much of my co-dependency and the Jesuits made sure I stayed there. They used Loree McBride for that purpose.
My men were distressed for me that my sister was so rude to me and flew themselves to Atlanta to present themselves to her. So my sister saw Matthew McConaughey, Gerard Butler, Vladimir Putin, Hugh Jackman, Judge Terrance Jenkins, and Brent Spiner who landed on her roof and introduced themselves to her. My sister was shocked. Her weak and inferior sister had managed to get the hottest men on the planets as husbands in waiting! I was the one who did everything wrong according to my mother, and my sister was fairly comfortable in her own skin until now. Her narcissism was succeeding and she got a man who would let her rule the roost. She rewarded the man with her money, financial security (which she brought) and by being an attentive parent, something she never had growing up and that she overcompensated for as a narcissist. It was part of her narcissist image of herself and self-perfection. She secretly despised me for losing custody of my son and saw that as an unforgivable defect. Even though it wasn’t my fault. I recall that when I thanked her for taking care of my son and giving him a place to stay for college, she seemed bemused and didn’t say “You’re welcome”. It was kind of like she was shocked that I would feel the need to thank her. In her mind, I was like my father and had abandoned my child. Like I could tell the judge to give me custody! I guess it didn’t matter that I home schooled my son for about 2 years. But then, to a narcissist, everything is black or white. She belonged to the elite, who took care of their children, even sacrificed their own personal happiness for this, and didn’t allow men to manipulate them, and were strong. I belonged to the defective, who were subservient to inferior men and could be manipulated and, therefore, brought pain to my children. I would dare to put my man first before my child and so I brought evil to the world, just like my dad. My sister HATED her father, just like my mother did. I was more neutral about him, but didn’t trust him. I was stupid and foolish to them. I rebelled against my mother’s advice and was foolish and weak because I allowed myself to be ruled by a man. And now the most awesome men in the world, the dream men that she was certain did not exist, were my husbands in waiting. My sister couldn’t believe it! Everything my mother taught her about men was wrong! She was furious and oh so jealous! There was no way she would allow anybody to shatter her illusion that she was morally perfect because she was the perfect parent, which was the illusion she needed to maintain for her narcissistic image of self-perfection. She respected no man and this was cool because true love was a fairy tale and her sacrifice for her narcissism showed her to be strong and perfect. She only married someone she could control and thus sacrificed her personal happiness to be the perfect parent. I had not done so and now I got the best guys in the world. I had proven that what my mother taught her about men was wrong and that she, too, if she had rebelled against my mother like I had, could have men like her sister. But alas, she had developed herself into the bossy woman, like her mother, and was not at all like her compliant sister, so she knew no man would love her. In fact, she didn’t even know who she was, outside of her self-image as the perfect parent. Her narcissism raged and Loree McBride, another narcissist, befriended her and they both had one thing in common, they both hated men who wouldn’t be their cuck and help reinforce their images of themselves as perfect. Actually, they loved no men, they didn’t even know who they were. They only knew they were furious that it appeared true love existed and they had NO IDEA how to get it and the fact that it existed meant they were inferior because they didn’t have it! The solution: DESTROY TRUE LOVE, especially in those who make them appear inferior because their lives show that true love exists and that they don’t have it! How could such a superior and perfect person, not have true love! No way! They’d rather kill than acknowledge that they were anything less than perfect. And those who made them feel this way, were their COMPETITION and got ALL THEIR RAGE. They are feeling more and more threatened as truth exposes their hypocrisy, their selfishness and their sham and have now resorted to murder and war crimes against the human race as they strive, with Satan egging them on, that their perfection must rule the world, even if it means killing everybody on the planet except their elite group.
And this explains Loree McBride (her narcissistic perfection is as the perfect celebrity lover and my true love with Brent threatens that image), my sister, (her narcissistic perfection is as the perfect parent, and my true love with Brent tells her she sacrificed true love in vain, that it truly does exist and she doesn’t have it), the Brent Spiner Clone (his narcissistic perfection is the Hollywood celebrity, with fame and glamour, and those without the fame and glamour are beneath him, but my true love with Brent threatens him cuz it shows that superiority is not only for the rich and famous, but for those with richness in their hearts, something he has never cultivated. He only fakes it), Camila Alves (her narcissistic perfection is as the perfect celebrity lover and Matthew’s adoration of me threatens that), and for most Jesuits, they see themselves and those who think like them as perfect and the rest of the world is evil. They can’t see gray. Everything is black and white. That’s why Trump can’t do anything right. To my sister, my mother, Camila, Loree, the Brent clone – Donald Trump, myself, the real Brent Spiner, the real Matthew McConaughey, the real Gerard Butler, the real Vladimir Putin, etc. – belongs to the black group, and they (the narcissists) belong to the white perfect group. They and those they get along with, even if by extortion, are the PERFECT and EVERYBODY ELSE IS BLACK, EVIL AND WORTHLESS. There is nothing in between, you are either PERFECT (like them) or WORTHLESS. This is NPD.
And so as you read this page on my website, you see the history of my life and how the sociopathic narcissists, obsessed with their delusion of self-perfection have abused me and murdered people, and are competing with me to prove that they are perfect and I’m defective. And it shows how I and my men are fighting back. Personal opinion, those who are sociopathic or psychopathic narcissists probably need to be Seroquakkeed out to Satan’s ocean. We can set up the Seroquakkes to differentiate between those who are strong narcissists or have sociopathic or psychopathic cases of NPD and use our Seroquakkes to transport the dangerous NPD folks to Satan’s ocean and put those who are just narcissists but don’t have sociopathic or psychopathic NPD into mental health facilities under solitary confinement. We have determined that those who have a strong case of NPD won’t change and are a threat to public welfare, so they need to go. The rest, we might be able to treat.
Copyright © 2018 Gail Chord Schuler. All Rights Reserved.