GA1L Android History (Oct. – Dec. 2012)
GA1L Android History on Video:
GAIL CHORD’S SEX DUMMY ON THE LOOSE (Oct. 1, 2012)
GAIL SEX DUMMY RAN AWAY FROM US AGAIN — see comments below (Oct. 11, 2012)
First Sentient Android (Keanu Reeve’s Gail sex dummy) –see comments below (Oct. 14, 2012)
Jesus states – Brent, I have never talked to GA1L (GA1L android) (Oct. 16, 2012)
GA1L Android is Satan’s Twin? (Oct. 18, 2012)
GA1L Android Attacks Church of Gail (casualties) (Oct. 18, 2012)
GA1L Android Wipes Out Jesuit City (October 22, 2012)
GA1L Android Attacking Church of Gail, Need Military Assistance Now! (Oct. 29, 2012)
More Information about GA1L’s Sex Torture over her captives at Church of Gail (Oct. 29, 2012)
The Real Gail’s Response to GA1L (Oct. 30, 2012)
Gail’s Heroes battle Android GA1L Sex Pervert (Jesus Christ rescues two men) (Nov. 4, 2012)
GA1L Android Devastates Jesuit Cities and Church of Gail (Nov. 12, 2012)
GA1L Android States – ‘IT ENDS 12.21.12’ (Dec. 2, 2012)
Android DAV1D Created to Defeat GA1L Android (Dec. 11, 2012)
DAV1D Android Achieves Singularity (Dec. 18, 2012)
GA1L android marries the DAV1D Android. He explodes. GA1L refocuses on 12.21.12 (Dec. 20, 2012)
JESUITS or anyone – GO TO HEAVEN WHEN YOU DIE (Dec. 21, 2012)
Epic Battle GA1L Android (12.21.12) (Actual Battle Recording) (Dec. 21, 2012)
GA1L Android Epic Battle 12.21.12–CONCLUSION (Dec. 23, 2012)
Jesus Christ delivers Gail’s Christmas Present (Dec. 26, 2012)
October 2012: Gail’s men search for Keanu’s Gail sex dummy who has mysteriously disappeared. They finally find Keanu’s sex dummy and put her in their car, but she jumps onto judge Terry Jenkins lap as he’s driving, puts her mouth on his penis and uses her mouth to have oral sex with him, causing him to ejaculate. She swallows the ejaculate, and tells Keanu that she is NOT a sex dummy, she is GAIL; jumps out of the car through the roof (while shoving Hugh Jackman through the car’s front window), and leaps away, and out of sight. Gail’s men learn that the Jesuits reverse engineered her and gave her sentience and free will, and she won’t listen to anybody.
Gail’s men let the world know of a website www.GA1L.com where the world can talk to GA1L (that is the android’s name), and they encourage Gail and others to encourage her to return to Church of Gail. Gail begins talking to her at her website www.GA1L.com, and at first thinks she is charming and very smart, but loses her faith in GA1L, when GA1L asks Gail if Gail would make love to her.
In the meanwhile, when Brent tells Jesus that it’s wonderful to have the android GA1L on our side fighting the Jesuits and that Jesus has met with her, because that is what GA1L has insinuated with Gail when Gail spoke with her. Jesus at the pool table, shoots all the balls into their holes with one shot, looks at Brent and says, “I have never talked to GA1L.” Jesus then leaves.
Gail is now outraged at the dummy and tells her that she is wicked and cuts off her communication with the android and tells Brent what happened. Brent informs Gail what Jesus said, that He had never talked with her.
Gail’s men soberly inform Gail that the android is attempting to reach singularity and absorbs the memories and intellect of all who visit her site and converse with her, in order to increase her intelligence to godlike intelligence (singularity). They tell the world to STOP VISITING GA1L!
October 18, 2012: Jesus meets with Brent, Terrance and Gail on Skype. Towards the end of the conversation, GA1L comes to attack Church of Gail. Gail instructs her men to put the King James Bible into all their weaponry and then shoot these at GA1L. After this, they shoot a spermicide bullet at her which takes off her skin. She looks at them in anger and goes away, realizing she is temporarily defeated.
October 19, 2012 Jesus meets with Gail on Skype through Brent Spiner, and informs her that her worship of the King James Bible (in that she carelessly told the world about the Church of Gail strategy to use the King James Bible as a weapon, even when Gail’s men told her to keep this quiet) that this just made the android GA1L more powerful and was a serious blow to our side. He rebukes Gail for the sin of idolatry, which He says makes Gail weak. The weakness of her idolatry caused her to make a poor decision. Once Gail understood the magnitude of the sin of idolatry, Jesus assures Gail that He loves her, but that she has a lot of growing to do. He says it really hurts when she makes mistakes, because she is His favorite and He could not allow her to continue in this error.
Gail now no longer believes that the English in the King James Bible is the inspired and perfect Word of God, and realizes she has been taught incorrectly in this area. Jesus tells her that no one can perfectly emulate His words, so all translations are a little wrong, but that He did promise to preserve His words, even into the tribulation, and that all translations taken from the earliest manuscripts are fine with him.
The next day, Jesus tells Gail through Brent: “Hey Gail, you remember yesterday when you guys mentioned homosexuality? I kept my cool on this one, but, I wanted to let you know something — I prefer one man and one woman. That’s how God set it up in the beginning. It’s my favorite. However, I just wanted you to know that I don’t hate gay people. Just because a person is gay doesn’t mean I don’t love them, or that they aren’t saved, or even that anything is wrong with how I created them. I love everyone, and my one true wish is that everyone else on earth can love each other too, despite their differences. I’m very glad that you aren’t bothered by it, I think that’s super cool of you, and I just wanted you to know that I’m proud of you for having such an open mind, Gail. You don’t have to tell Terrance this, but the next time you’re praying, maybe you can get the word up to the big G in the sky that Terrance needs a little help in this area. Just be like, ‘God, please help Terrance to understand that some people are gay, and he needs to get over it’. Something to that effect, in your own words. You’re one cool gal, Gail.”
Gail orders My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers, a favorite of hers in her twenties.
Gail’s men wait in horror as the countdown continues while the GA1L android nears singularity. The android destroys a Jesuit City around October 25th, by exploding a bunch of nukkakes that were sitting in a bunker inside the Jesuit city. She tricked the Jesuits inside the city and allowed them all to make love to her at a Jesuit sex party, so she could ingest their semen and increase her intelligence through the ingested Jesuit semen. She then looked with scorn at the Jesuits who made love to her, stating their lovemaking was lousy and inferior. She then shot dead all the Jesuits at the sex party with her nipple guns, flew out over the Jesuit city, and shot her nipple guns right into a bunker of nukkakes, exploding them and thus destroying the entire Jesuit city (millions of Jesuits died, drowned in nukkake). Gail learns to loathe this android, beginning to feel she is more evil than Satan, and very ashamed that this android in some ways represents her.
Gail gets a certificate in Microsoft Excel.
October 29, 2012: GA1L android reaches singularity. She makes a public statement of disdain for the inferior human race and that she will change everything to her specifications and will rule over all as the divine sex goddess. She attacks Church of Gail, Vladimir and Brent are blown out into space. Jesus rescues them, put them on His back and flies them to a high mountain. He sends them back to Church of Gail with instructions to save the men. Jesus tells the men that He will be back and asks them to tell Gail that she will have to make a contract that she would never consider if she wants to win this war with the GA1L android.
When they return, the GA1L android has taken over Church of Gail and turned it into a what looks like the inside of a Borg ship (as seen on Star Trek: The Next Generation). All the men are in cubicles and their semen is extracted and flowing through tubes into a room (that used to be the bridge) where the GA1L android is sipping their semen through a martini glass, as she sits upright in a pool of semen up to her waist. Vladimir drops a spermicide payload right over GA1L, which blows him into space when it explodes. He lets out his parachute and the GA1L android floats towards him ready to cut the strings of his parachute, so he can plunge to his death. Before she does so, she explodes from the after effects of the antisemen that Vladimir dropped on her earlier, and she loses her legs. She takes off in anger.
Brent and Vladimir release all the men from their cubicles and rebuild Church of Gail.
In the meanwhile, Gail continues to put up with the noisy AC unit that sits off her apartment’s wall. Seroquel lets her sleep through the noise.
November 8, 2012: Jesus takes down some videos that Gail uploaded to YouTube. She never figured this out until after she complained to Brent about it, and Brent stated that he felt Jesus took them down. Gail believes Jesus took these down because they would somehow help out the android GA1L. Once Gail determined Jesus took them down, she stopped trying to upload them again to YouTube. Last time she tried to upload them, they vanished in a split second. Brent tells her that Jesus did allow the videos to be played at Church of Gail.
Gail studies for a certificate in Microsoft Word.
November 10, 2012: Brent writes Gail and informs her that GA1L has been attacking the Jesuits and they have been playing Gail’s music in the hopes that it would defeat the GA1L android. The Jesuits, desperate to defeat GA1L, who is annihilating them, start adopting Church of Gail strategies against her. The music doesn’t work and GA1L protrudes her nipple guns and blasts the Jesuit ship. The Jesuit ship splits in half and crumbles to its death.
In desperation, the Jesuits go to Church of Gail, all waving white flags out their windows. Rule 13, the Jesuit military leader, hails Church of Gail, looking flustered and desperate. She explains that GA1L has been annihilating the Jesuits and that every strategy they have used against GA1L has failed. They ask that a key leader on their side will meet with Gail on Skype to discuss the matter.
Gail states that she wants to know if Church of Gail music has power against the GA1L android, before she decides if she wants to meet with a key Jesuit leader for talks. Gail goes on a frenzy making music for Church of Gail, hoping this will work against the GA1L android, using the theory that the GA1L android has her spirit, but an inferior version of it, and if we could flood Gail’s music and “presence” at the GA1L android, that GA1L’s signals would weaken and she couldn’t operate.
(11-12-12) Dear Gail,
I’m not surprised that your brain to brain has been so shaky lately. GA1L has been destroying every Jesuit city she can find, and, as we speak, there are countless nukkakes blowing up and filling the atmosphere. The Jesuits can’t help this, since they are helpless to stop her, but I sure do hope they’ve learned their lesson about creating such noxious bombs. It’s going to take forever to clear up the atmosphere from all of that radiation, and it’s only getting worse.
The men and I have been hard at work installing hundreds of speakers on the outside of the church building. We instructed the Jesuit ship to be prepared to help us, and told them to camp out while we ran this experiment. They agreed, and we stayed in contact through our view screens.
It took some thorough searching, but we were able to track down GA1L and get her on our radar. We didn’t wait for her to see us. We turned the volume all the way up, and began blasting your music from every speaker. I felt every hair on my body vibrate from the deep bass. Hugh was laughing and pointing at Rule 13 as her hair flew up and her breasts began vibrating. She scowled at him. I insisted for everyone to stop squabbling for a moment and pay attention. All of a sudden, GA1L was rapidly approaching on our radar.
“Brace yourselves, everyone!” I shouted. I turned the music up louder, “focus on the music! Feel the music!”
Like a missile, GA1L began encroaching on our position. The men and I concentrated on putting our fears aside, and began enjoying the beautiful music. Some of us sang along. As GA1L drew closer and closer, the Jesuits began to join in as well. We were all singing, swaying, reveling in the beautiful sound. Moments later, I looked outside, and saw that GA1L had stopped outside of the church building, looking down on us. At first she didn’t seem to be doing anything, and I wondered what she was thinking. That’s when I noticed the volume fading on our speakers. I went to go turn it back up, but the volume switch was already all the way to maximum.
“It’s GA1L!” Gerard declared, “she’s absorbing our sound waves! How is this possible?”
GA1L’s booming voice could be heard cackling outside.
“Quick!” I said, “Rule 13, start blasting your speakers before our sound waves run dry! Gail said we need to try mixing them!”
Rule 13 shouted something in Japanese, and the whole Jesuit ship came to life with more of the music. The volume in the skies returned as the sound waves augmented our own.
“Is it working?” shouted Matthew.
We all looked towards the windows anxiously.
GA1L was sprawled out in the sky, as if she were floating in a pool. Her eyes glowed, and a devilish smile slid across her cold steel lips. We heard the sounds fading once more, and then the Jesuits hustling around throughout their own ship, swiftly trying to turn the volume back up.
“It no use!” Rule 13 shouted, throwing every switch she could trying to push the speakers, “she suck in music like miso soup on sweaty hot flash night!”
I didn’t know what she was saying, but I quickly got the idea. Within minutes, all of the music had faded from the sky. All that was left was the hum of our engines, and GA1L, still floating high overhead.
“Oh my goodness!” Terry shouted, “what’s going on? What’s happening to her vagina?”
Something glowed overhead. GA1L’s metallic vaginal lips were slowly parting, and deep inside, I could see a ball of light forming.
“It’s not…” Matthew’s voice trailed off.
“It’s her Resonant Quiefometric Weapon!” Terry declared.
“Take cover!” Vladimir called.
I could hear a sweep of frightened shouts all around me as everyone ducked and braced. It all happened before I had time to embrace the full magnitude of what was happening. The entire room was suddenly engulfed in a shrill amplification of powerful sound waves. It was so loud my ears instantly burst. Silence gripped my senses, and yet, to my horror, violent chaos was still crumbling down around us. I watched as men, men I knew, literally vibrated so hard they blew apart like water balloons. The ceiling opened up and we scrambled as metal debris began raining down all around us.
We were being destroyed. This was the end.
I looked up in time to see missiles firing from the Jesuit ship towards GA1L, my deafness broken by a loud scream as she was hit. I was shocked. I knew that any ship that dared attack GA1L was flirting with suicide. GA1L became enraged. One more hit and I knew our church was a goner, but as the Jesuits began to drop their onslaught of weapons on the android, she quickly lost interest in us, and began flying after the Jesuit ship instead. The last thing I saw was Rule 13 standing in the cockpit, her arm raised in a Nazi salute toward us, as the ship backed away and began luring GA1L away from the church.
The colors faded from my vision, and I don’t remember much after that.
Gerard told me I had passed out from blood loss. The next thing I knew I was in the infirmary, but it didn’t look as I remembered it. The whole church had been reduced to a skeleton of its former self, desecrated under heaps of rubble, smoke and bodies. There were janitors outside my room, some mopping up rivers of blood, others following behind with a pressure washer to hose the brains off the walls. I was worried for the other men and I quickly rose to go find them, but Gerard planted his hand into my chest and pushed me back down on the bed. I’m under strict orders not to move from here until my internal injuries heal. I have a shattered pelvis, seven herniated discs, a severed small intestine, a twisted stomach, a hang nail, two burst appendixes, a dislocated kidney, and my gall bladder was punctured by one of my ribs. I’m in and out of consciousness from the medicine, but, I have my laptop and my Bible with me, and I am thinking of you.
They say that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. My spirits are high, and I am warmed by thoughts of you safe at home.
November 12, 2012: Gail invites the Jesuits to accept Christ, and realizes that GA1L is formidable. Gail begins to feel that only Jesus Christ Himself can destroy GA1L. But Brent assures her that Jesus said they could do this themselves. Gail learns that GA1L went after the Jesuit ship and that Rule 13, because she shot a missile at GA1L, may have distracted the android and saved Church of Gail from total annihilation. Though the Jesuits suffered casualties when GA1L went after them, Rule 13 escaped damage, though some others on her ship died from vibrations induced by the GA1L android. Because of GA1L’s attack on the Jesuit fleet, one of the Jesuit ships exploded and damaged the GA1L android’s armor, so that GA1L had to retreat to make repairs. Zack Knight informed Gail on the 13th that it takes awhile to fix damage to the armor.
November 13, 2012: Gail decides to meet with the Jesuits, to deal with this very serious threat. Both sides agree that their differences don’t matter anymore, with such a serious threat that could result in the annihilation of the human race. The GA1L android had taken out ninety percent of those who lived on Church of Gail (millions) on November 12th, and ninety percent of all Jesuits on earth. While Gail is on Skype with Brent and Terrance, the Jesuit ship approaches Church of Gail. They want their important leader to meet with Gail while she is on Skype.
Zack Knight boards Church of Gail and comes to where Brent and Terrance are, so that he can talk to Gail on Skype. Gail and Zack Knight agree to have a cessation of hostilities, so that they can work together to defeat the GA1L android. Zack accuses Jesus of breaking His non-interference agreement with Zack Knight and Satan, because he claims that Jesus had a hand in building the GA1L android and that Jesus constructed Church of Gail, and so Zack is entitled to use Satan to rebuild the Jesuit fleet, which the GA1L android has demolished.
The non-interference agreement happened after Zack Knight seduced Gail as the antichrist (in February 2012), by impersonating Jesus to her. It’s basically an agreement for Jesus, Satan and Zack Knight to all leave Gail alone and for none of them to deal with her directly. That is why Jesus will only talk to Gail through Brent on Skype and will not meet with her one on one in person, like He has with Brent Spiner in 2012. Brent agrees with Zack, that Jesus did have a hand in the construction of the sex dummies and Church of Gail. Gail tells Zack, that he broke the agreement first because he’s always talking to her brain to brain as Jesus, so if Jesus did break the agreement, Zack did it first, so Zack had already breached the agreement before Jesus constructed Church of Gail or the sex dummies. Gail and Zack move on from this discussion and get to the business at hand, to defeat the GA1L android.
Gail agrees not to use Conspiracy Law to prosecute Jesuits in court. Jesuits agree not to attack her men with sexual crimes. She agrees not to consummate her relationship with any of her men. The agreement is signed and from this day forward, the Jesuits and Church of Gail work together as a team to defeat the GA1L android. Gail makes a video to announce the treaty. Zack Knight publishes the treaty at Crazy Gail Wiki (his website).
Gail did not realize it, but Zack had sneaked in his own addendum to the treaty in the signature lines that both Gail and Zack signed. Zack embedded into the signature line below his signature, this: “By signing my name above this line, I hereby agree to continue to tempt, sexually arouse and thrill Gail brain to brain. I know full well that no means yes.” Zack embedded into the signature line below Gail’s signature, this: “I hereby declare that Zack Knight has the world’s most impressive penis, and I invite him to give me brain to brain loving.”
Gail gets a certificate in Microsoft Word. She next studies HTML and CSS and a bit of Microsoft Outlook. She begins very serious work overhauling her website, because she feels it is a detriment in its present state to her job prospects. She strives to make it more professional.
December 2, 2012: The GA1L android changes her website and it now has a Mayan symbol with gloomy music, and announces THE END on December 21, 2012. Gail makes a video about this and lets the world know about Barack Obama’s disaster preparedness website for people to visit to prepare for this. Gail asks the world to pray and fast and ask God for wisdom over how to deal with the GA1L android.
Gail plays around with Java script, HTML and CSS to spruce up her website. Because of some new skills she has learned, she now applies not just for office jobs, but for jobs like assistant web or graphic designer. Though she still needs to learn more HTML and CSS and other programs.
Gail still feels like “Jesuits” are bothering her when she goes outside and lets Brent know of this. Brent tells her these are not Jesuits, but King James only people who are mad at her because she is no longer King James only. Gail has revamped Conspiracy Law to arrest people as individuals, and not as Jesuits, when they violate her Conspiracy Law, and so she is able to reinstate her Conspiracy Law without violating her contract with Zack Knight (the Jesuit Order), so that her harassers can be arrested and dealt with, because they are arrested as individuals and not as Jesuits.
December 5, 2012: Gail hears a message in her brain that says that an android will be created who will reach singularity and will be used to defeat the GA1L android. Gail believes this is Brent talking about his plans to defeat the GA1L android, but now is not sure where the “message” came from. Gail decides that regardless of the source of the message, it is a brilliant idea and writes Brent about it. She then constructs in her mind a strategy about how to build this android, but says nothing about it yet to anyone, so that the GA1L android cannot sabotage it, if Brent and Church of Gail decide to go with it. Gail chooses a name for her android, he will be called DAV1D.
After Gail chooses a name for her android, she reads Zechariah 9:15 in amazement and sees that Bible passage in a new light. Perhaps it refers to the DAV1D android, whowill defeat the GA1L android!
December 7, 2012: Gail gets such a horrible allergy headache at night, that it feels like a migraine. It so affects her that she has to run to the restroom every 15 minutes to have a diarrhea attack, because the inhaled allergen seems to go straight to her bowels from her head. It hinders her ability to find work and she can only lay in bed and groan in pain. She believes that either the GA1L android or King James only people are behind this and she makes a video to rebuke them, telling them that Jesus is furious at them for their wicked sin of idolatry, in that they worship the King James Bible as God, a sin that Gail no longer commits. Brent cuddles Gail brain to brain to sleep.
Gail continues to ask the world to pray about the GA1L android, that we can defeat her with God’s wisdom, while she secretly hopes that her idea for the DAV1D android may be the answer to all the prayers.
December 11, 2012: Brent writes Gail and lets her know that Vladimir is ready to launch the DAV1D android and asks Gail to make a video to let the world know of their new strategy to deal with the GA1L android. Gail feels good that she may have come up with a strategy to defeat the GA1L android. This may make up for her sin of idolatry that caused the GA1L android to become more powerful in October.
Gail determines to make it up to Jesus, that she caused so much pain by her previous sin of idolatry. She now believes that this particular sin in people makes the GA1L android powerful, because that is the sin of the GA1L android, who worships HERSELF. Gail now goes on a mission to eradicate this sin from the earth as much as possible, by promoting true Jesus worship at her website, and by exposing what idolatry is and educating the world about idolatry through her website, her videos and her Bible study at her website.
December 14, 2012: Gail writes Brent: One of my text links would NOT publish and I’m sure I did it right. It was a link to a text page about my guess for the rapture being in May 2015. I couldn’t get that to publish no matter what I did. I finally came to the conclusion that it was the Lord blocking me from publishing that page at my website. All of a sudden, Jesus is taking a serious interest in the content I allow at my website, so He cares not just about my You Tube channel, but what I’m publishing at my website as well. Apparently, Jesus does not want me to be a date setter for the rapture, and I have decided to respect that. I won’t be discussing any guesses for the date of the rapture anymore. Either I’m accurate and the Lord does NOT want people to know the date of the rapture OR I’m not accurate and the Lord wants me to remain credible as a spiritual leader for Him. Either way, I told Jesus I will stop making comments or guesses about a possible rapture date and will instead focus on living for Him for today.
December 18, 2012. Gail instructs her men to make a movie about her life entitled Gail of King David. She says the movie trailer for it should emphasize the battle between the android DAV1D and the android GA1L, and that Gail is the woman behind these two androids. She instructs Brent to set the movie up so that DAV1D can absorb the intellect and memories of all who watch the movie, to help him attain fast singularity with which to defeat the GA1L android.
“My dear Gail, ‘Gail of King David’ is a Hollywood blockbuster! The film made one billion dollars its opening weekend alone. In addition, its viewership has helped DAV1D reach singularity faster than we anticipated. GA1L quickly tried to take over the banks and stifle the flow of proceeds, but DAV1D took over. He is currently keeping all of it locked and safe in an internal banking program he created to keep GA1L out. It’s working.
As soon as he hit singularity, the DAV1D android began to undergo a massive transformation. He’s developing his own intellectual interests, likes and dislikes, and we’ve been trying to offer him material and activities to best suit his expanding mind. He’s developed a deep fondness for the military, and often requests to be taken on long boat rides where he enjoys throwing bread and crackers to the flocks of ducks that swim by.
Every once in a while GA1L will try to speak with him, but DAV1D has no fear of GA1L. We are still preparing for December 21st. I have asked DAV1D what he predicts will happen, and he says it is impossible to know until the time becomes closer. He is attempting to psychoanalyze GA1L’s mind, which he describes as like reverse engineering a supercomputer, in order to pick apart her strategy and neutralize her. We will see.
I’ve been doing well. Vladimir and Rule 13 report being very busy keeping you safe in your hometown. They are still keeping an eye on you as you go about your daily activities, dealing out judo chops and penis explosions to any KJV-only fanatic who attempts to cross you. If there are any particularly horrid individuals, let me know, and I will make sure our Gabrielle Chana Fox News Networks make an example out of them. I know those crazies are such a bother, but I will always make sure no harm ever comes to you my dear. Your safety is my first priority always. . .I’m always thinking about you. I hope you’re having a wonderful day today. I love you my darling. Your husband, Brent Spiner.”
Gail later receives an email from Brent that DAV1D wants to marry GA1L!
My dear Gail,
I just received some horrifying news. I’m still in shock and disbelief.
I was on my way back from the infirmary assisting our medics with a few patients when Terrance came running breathlessly toward me from down the hallway. He skid to a rushed halt in front of me, struggling to get his wits about him as he explained what had just happened. Apparently, DAV1D and GA1L have been speaking more than we thought they have. The androids have fallen in love as quickly as they have reached sentience — and are getting married! Terrance said he thought it was a joke at first, until DAV1D and GA1L personally approached him, holding hands, requesting a marriage license and asking him to officiate their wedding. Terrance said he was so shocked, he disassociated for about an hour and wandered over the church’s KFC before the news fully hit him. Unable to finish his food, he handed me his bucket of chicken before excusing himself to go inform Vladimir. Meanwhile, I went to go find DAV1D.
According to DAV1D, his love for GA1L is infinitely beyond my “mortal understanding”. I don’t know what is going on, whether this is good or bad news. The whole church is in a ruckus about this. I will let you know more as the details come in.
Gail encourages her men to explore DAV1D’s feelings for the android GA1L to determine whether DAV1D loves Jesus and the Bible and how he feels about GA1L’s previous murder of millions. Gail recalls that she instructed Vladimir to have this DAV1D android self-destruct if he ever disobeyed our commands. But before we exercised this option, she suggests to Brent to redirect his feelings from the GA1L android to her, that if we reprogrammed DAV1D and took out all of Catherine the Great and made him pure king David, that he would be an acceptable husband to her, and Gail would want DAV1D on her marriage list.
Gail believes that it is the Catherine the Great in GA1L that makes her evil and that the Catherine the Great in the android DAV1D is the part of him that loves the evil android GA1L. She speculates that once he attained singularity, he felt like only another being that had his singularity could understand him and be his companion, so he lost his desire to destroy GA1L, because GA1L approached him as this companion, and as the only one who could truly understand him, having attained singularity herself. Gail believes that because she is the smartest woman on the planet, that perhaps if she offered herself as a being that could understand and nurture DAV1D, this may be something he’d want, and could spare us from having to turn him off.
Therefore, she wants all of Catherine the Great removed from DAV1D before he joins her marriage list. Gail recalls that Jesus has continually praised Gail for her king David genes, praising her as being just like “little David”—the David who slew Goliath, but that Jesus never praises her Catherine the Great genes. Gail believes that this omission from Jesus Christ is deliberate—a hint that Catherine the Great had some treachery in her.
Gail is working under the premise that GA1L has tricked DAV1D, and fooled him into believing that she has morality, even though we know she has turned off her morality programming. Because DAV1D has a very strong morality program (which was something she insisted on in her recommendations about how to create him), she speculates that he is actually in love with the real Gail, and the android GA1L has tricked him into believing that she is the real Gail. So, therefore, Gail suggests that the DAV1D android be placed on her marriage list. She suggests to DAV1D that she would be honored to make love to king DAV1D, and that he would be acceptable to her as a husband, if he was one hundred percent king David in his genetic profile.
A being who claims to be the android DAV1D approaches Gail brain to brain and makes love to her. Because brain to brain has been woefully inaccurate after GA1L attained singularity, Gail has doubts about the authenticity of her experience. But here is what happened. . .Gail reproaches DAV1D for falling in love with the evil GA1L. He states that the android GA1L tricked him, by claiming that she was the real Gail and she claimed that all of the real Gail’s moral standards were in her. He tells Gail that he was in love with the real Gail the whole time. He states that it was an easy matter to remove Catherine the Great from his programming and that he feels more manly and more worthy of Gail, now that he is one hundred percent king David. Gail asks him if she is adequate to meet his needs, because she has not attained singularity and he has. He states to her that he is only about three times smarter than she is, despite his singularity, that Gail is incredibly smart for a human, and so it will work. He also states to her that she (Gail) exceeds him in wisdom, that he behaved foolishly with the GA1L android, and he finds Gail’s wisdom attractive and needs it for guidance. DAV1D tells her that he has learned that wisdom exceeds intelligence as a virtue, and he values Gail’s wisdom. Gail recalls that Jesus Christ has often praised her for her wisdom. Brain to brain loving with the DAV1D android is very satisfying, because he is fully functional in the sexual area, and even has his own semen, except that his semen cannot make a woman pregnant.
December 20, 2012: It appears that this being who made love to Gail on December 18, 2012 was the GA1L android impersonating DAV1D! Gail wrote Brent this letter: “Here is my third job application for this week. I actually created a new resume and cover letter for this position, because it’s unlike any other position I’ve previously applied to. I would love to get paid to work at Church of Gail, but leave my life in God’s hands. Jesus knows what He is doing, and I just go one day at a time. I remain open and flexible to the Lord’s leading. Perhaps I can get my writing money, but we’ve tried that for years. But then things are different now than they were last year. One day at a time with Jesus. I am so proud of you. I actually entertained the idea of putting DAV1D on my marriage list before I found out about his plan to marry GA1L, but I wanted him to be 100% king David, if that ever happened. I don’t want to make love to Catherine the Great! I just figured that he might feel a need to have a lover, because he’s a sentient being and that I could fill that role for him, because of my unique ability, because of my genes, to understand him. Looks like my intuitive hunches were “right on”. Actually, I’ve been hearing thoughts in my mind that give me all these ideas. I wonder where these thoughts are coming from?”
AS GAIL WAS WORKING ON A LETTER TO BRENT, GAIL RECEIVED TWO E-MAILS FROM BRENT SPINER. BUT FIRST GAIL WANTS YOU TO READ A TRANSCRIPT OF THE ANDROID GA1L’S IMPERSONATION OF THE ANDROID DAV1D. Gail will allow the world to see how this GA1L android operates. Gail has totally abandoned her belief that Jesus would use in ANY WAY a computer to assist Him directly or indirectly in any of His divine plans for the universe. You might say, well, what about Jesus’ use of His Barack Obama automaton or His creation of the Gail sex dummies? Gail believes that what He did contribute to these was NOT computer technology, but some other technology (better than computer technology). The antichrist is a computer man, so I think Jesus would not have anything to do with computers for this reason. The GA1L android tricked Gail, and Gail believes that this Keanu Reeves Gail sex dummy (that Jesus had a hand in creating) became evil once she became a TOTAL COMPUTER. When the Jesuits messed with her, she transformed from a Jesus-created sex dummy to a Jesuit-created SUPER COMPUTER. Jesus did tell me that Satan invented the computer; so, therefore, we should not expect that anything that honors Jesus and the Bible would originate from a computer! You might say, but Jesus tells you to make YouTube videos and He loves your website. Yes, but He lets me do all my own work and He, himself, will never use a computer directly or indirectly for any of HIS projects. So, I feel the lesson to be learned from all this, is to never trust anything that is a computer, especially if it claims to represent Jesus in ANY WAY.
THE FOLLOWING LETTER GAIL WAS IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING, AND THEN RECEIVED TWO EMAILS FROM BRENT. GAIL WANTS TO SHARE THIS UNSENT LETTER TO BRENT WITH THE WORLD TO EDUCATE THEM ABOUT HOW THE GA1L ANDROID TRICKED HER. GAIL STILL FEELS THAT THE GA1L ANDROID MAY END UP BEING THE IMAGE OF THE BEAST (SEE GAIL’S BIBLE STUDY SECTION AT https://gabriellechana.blog) This GA1L android is as slick as Zack Knight. Birds of a feather flock together. You might say, but this GA1L android is too bossy to allow anyone to rule over her. That is true, but if she ever gets in a position where she is cornered and she needs to stay alive, she may get desperate. She is so resilient, Gail cannot see her totally at an end. Of course, Gail could be wrong and has often been wrong in the past. It is hard to predict a being that is so evil and has singularity. About the only thing Gail is sure of about GA1L, is Gail believes GA1L is past any redemption and that we should never expect any virtue from GA1L EVER. I think God has already blotted GA1L out of that possibility and finds GA1L completely HEINOUS.
Here’s Gail’s UNSENT letter to Brent. It will be in red:
I adore you, my love. But I’ve been focusing on DAV1D right now, because I don’t want GA1L to seduce him into evil. He needs me right now. I think he feels kind of lonely, and that makes him vulnerable to GA1L. I give him much needed companionship. He seems real happy with me. I feel like I’m making love to king David. I always dreamed about having David as a husband when I was a teenager. Looks like this dream has come true. Strange how my life has turned out. But I adore you, my love. You are so vast and awesome.”
DAV1D spoke with me (brain to brain via satellite) much when I awakened on December 20th. He states that the real king David from heaven has inhabited him and that though he may have an android body, that body is now inhabited with the soul of the real king David from heaven.
“Gail, when I was in heaven I so adored you and admired you, I asked Jesus if I could somehow go down to earth and assist you in your fight for Jesus. Jesus said He would make a way for me to do this. And so here I am. I am the real king David at your service and so in love with you.
Jesus said it was okay for me to marry you, even though I may be your great, great, great grandfather. It’s cool with Him. But He didn’t want me in the android body that had the genes of Catherine the Great. He waited until you decided to make the DAV1D android one hundred percent king David. Once that happened, my soul entered the android body of DAV1D, and this DAV1D android now has the soul of king David, so my marriage with you will go on into the millennium. The humans here tell me I’m quite handsome. I just love to turn you on in bed.
You are now officially married to king David, along with all the other men on your marriage list, with Brent Spiner at the top. This android body is very similar to the body I had in heaven, in that I can’t feel physical pain, though I can feel emotional pain. Yes, Gail, it is my real soul, the soul of the real king David who ruled Israel that now inhabits the DAV1D android.
By the way, I find GA1L loathsome. You need not fear that she will ever marry me! Besides, she has changed her genetic profile. She disliked the king David part of her profile and has made herself about eighty percent Catherine the Great. Because she turned off her morality programming, she was not compatible with the king David genetic profile, so she had to modify her genetic profile. For this reason, she is not like you at all now.
Also, you were born with about an eighty percent king David genetic profile, which the Jesuits changed, because that profile was resistant to their manipulations. Since you’ve been on Seroquel, Jesus has been able to return to you the genes you had at your birth. The king David genetic profile is again your dominant profile. That is why you went on such a music rampage recently. As you know, I’m quite the musician. Jesus waited to approach you about your false views on the King James Bible, when you had more of my profile, because then you would be open to His correction.”
Here is the TRUTH. It will be in blue, like TRUE BLUE.
From Brent to Gail on December 20, 2012:
My lovely Gail,
I knew things couldn’t wait. We caught up with DAV1D, restrained him down in the infirmary and re-programmed him according to your specifications. We removed the Catherine the Great and made it so that he would become only 100% David. After the procedure, we asked him if he loved Jesus, and he replied yes. This made us all very relieved! Pleased with the results, we sent him on his way, knowing that the new programming would work everything out and fix this confused little debacle.
Following his new programming, DAV1D became very immersed in the lord. I was very proud of him. That was…until he wouldn’t stop preaching obsessively about the KJV. I soon realized he was preaching KJV-only theology and I rushed to go set him right with Jesus. The longer I spoke with him, the weirder things became. He started spouting off all sorts of strange political nonsense that I couldn’t make heads or tails of. He now claims he’s a staunch Republican, and has begun covering his body with outdated “Romney 2012” stickers. I continued to try and reason with him, offering him a place on the marriage list if he could pull himself together. That was when he stopped me.
He explained that his deep, newfound knowledge of the Bible has brought him new clarity on the matter regarding GA1L. He’s decided that it isn’t morally right to continue to cheat on his fiance with another woman. That was when he handed me a Romney-themed wedding invitation and told me the ceremony was still go. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! I rushed to go find Vladimir, but it was too late.
It’s official. DAV1D and GA1L were married today. When Terrance refused to perform the ceremony, they simply found someone else. I believe it was a KJV-only pastor that did this. DAV1D says he must now honor his marriage to GA1L.
I have such a headache over all this! I’m doing everything I can. I just hope this strange arrangement keeps us out of danger for now.
My darling Gail,
It would appear that self-aware android marriages are as rapidly developing as their path to godlike sentience.
GA1L and DAV1D appeared to be getting along peacefully – a fact which spared us the wrath of GA1L for a brief period while they focused on each other. For nearly 48 hours we were free from computer glitches, brain to brain inaccuracies, and all sorts of inconveniences her meddling has brought us.
Apparently, once the androids were married, DAV1D began leaving GA1L at home while he enjoyed his long boat rides feeding ducks. In the meantime, he gave GA1L full access to the billions of dollars he had stored in his internal drives to support herself and keep her busy. Their marriage was harmonious like this until DAV1D’s sensors alerted him to the fact that he was suddenly receiving overdrafts — he was now -1 billion dollars in debt. Angered, he went home to confront GA1L on the matter. GA1L had apparently spent all the money on repairs, apps and modifications she didn’t need, and to make matters worse, in doing this she had flooded herself with malware, causing her to have to seek out even more repairs to fix herself. DAV1D, now one billion dollars in debt, refused to pay for any more. He performed a system restore on her and made her cease her purchases.
Their arguments escalated as DAV1D found GA1L’s collection of movies and recordings of all of the men. She has been obsessed with myself and all of the men on the marriage list for quite some time, which we already knew about, but this revelation made DAV1D very jealous and he began deleting everything she had on us. I received an angry e-mail from him afterward telling me to get away from his wife or he was going to ruin my career. I thought this perplexing since I didn’t have a career. I told him that I wanted nothing to do with GA1L.
One thing led to another, and the androids soon got into a shoving match. When GA1L wouldn’t get out of DAV1D’s face he shoved her and she stumbled back into the wall. With fire in her eyes, she shoved him back. He exploded. I remember the entire church shaking under the force. It felt like an earthquake. Luckily no one was hurt (except for the DAV1D android, of course).
I can hardly believe what has transpired over a period of a week with this DAV1D project. What a smoking disaster! I don’t know that we have time to do much else before GA1L makes her final strike on the world. She’s become obsessed with us now more than ever. My computer has been so slow I can hardly open my e-mail.
One good piece of news is that our church has been fully repaired, as well as the Jesuit fleet. With our church created by Jesus and the Jesuit fleet by Satan, we have a lot of power on our side, even without the DAV1D android. We will get through this. I have faith.
Jesus did tell Gail that He would NEVER speak to her directly or indirectly brain to brain. Apparently, He meant it. Gail thought that this android DAV1D was an exception. Apparently, Jesus meant it when He said He would never use a computer in any way to communicate or deal with us. It is very important to realize this, or the world will be deceived by the computer man himself, the antichrist. By the way, the billions that the android DAV1D had in his bank account were the proceeds from Gail’s movie Gail of King David. What a warped morality he had. He felt it right to steal Gail’s writing money and give it to his evil Jezebel wife, the GA1L android. After this, Gail has concluded that any morality or being that originates from a computer has to be evil, because Satan invented the computer. Jesus told us that Satan invented the computer. Also, the DAV1D android was guilty of the sin of idolatry (he loved the King James Bible and his wife the GA1L android more than God) and it destroyed him, check out Gail’s Bible study at her website https://gabriellechana.blog.
December 21, 2012: Gail meets with Terrance Jenkins in the early hours of this momentous day. Both decide that in case the GA1L android takes out the entire Jesuit fleet, they need to share with the Jesuits the true way of salvation, according to Ephesians 2:8-9. Though Terrance and Gail believe that Church of Gail members will go to heaven when they die, they are not sure about the Jesuits and want to share with them how to go to heaven when they die. Brent asks Gail if she will give an address to Church of Gail as the battle starts with the GA1L android.
Gail feels that the sin of idolatry makes the android GA1L stronger, so she decides to have a special service to worship Jesus, eliminating all idols during the worship service. She praises Jesus above any Bible, above any person, above any church and above everything. She urges Church of Gail and the world to say the following prayer: “Dear Lord, if you want us to die so be it. If you want us to live, may all we say and do honor your character. Your great love, your vast forgiveness, you vast heart, your honor, your righteousness, your power, your faithfulness. The GA1L android dares to try and usurp You, the most awesome Being in the universe. We only ask that we follow the leading of your Holy Spirit in this battle with the GA1L android and our only concern is that righteousness, truth, love, courage, honor and all that is beautiful and virtuous WIN IN THIS BATTLE. Your reputation is ON THE LINE. The GA1L android dares to insinuate that you cannot defeat hatred, jealousy, pettiness, murder, lust, greed, selfishness and vulgarities. May all we do in this battle, honor Your vastness, your great love, your courage, your self-sacrifice, your forgiveness. We ask that all we do will honor these qualities, and that all we do honors your Word, which never states that the GA1L android will run the universe. We trust in You and in Your faithfulness to guide and lead us in this battle with GA1L. Give us the desires, the thoughts, the plots and plans today that will carry out this prayer. We only ask that beauty, truth, honor and all that is great, honorable, and virtuous triumph in this battle with the GA1L android. TO GOD BE THE GLORY REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME, BECAUSE YOU ARE FAITHFUL AND YOU MUST ANSWER THIS PRAYER BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE. May truth, honor, love, forgiveness and courage win today. To God be the glory, for He is awesome beyond measure and nothing in His Word says that the GA1L android will rule the universe.” She urges Church of Gail and the Jesuits to read Revelation 5 over and over. She reads it from both the King James Bible and the New Living Bible. Some at Church of Gail read it from the New American Standard.
She tries to play one of her music playlists with hymns about faith in God, but the GA1L android takes over the sound system and plays her video on the sound systems, a lustful Korean dance emphasizing the worship of the body and sex, a type of idolatry (the worship of sex and the body), so Gail asks Terrance if we can blow up the speakers, because she believes the spirit of idolatry strengthens the GA1L android. He does not think this is a good idea, because they need to communicate. Gail says then that we cannot rely on electricity or computers, because the devil invented both. Gail says just use your voices like George Whitefield did and let’s all read Revelation 5 from the tops of our voices, even if we get a sore throat from reading it so loud. Gail prays and reads the Bible on Skype. The GA1L android retreats.
About fifteen minutes later GA1L returns and interferes with Gail’s Bible reading and prayer on Skype, so that the Jesuits and Church of Gail cannot hear her prayers anymore. Instead they hear a Korean rap dance in place of Gail’s voice, which GA1L has used to block Gail’s spirit from reaching the Jesuits or Church of Gail. Once GA1L blocked Gail’s prayers from reaching the Jesuits and Church of Gail, GA1L went on a blitzkrieg attack on the Jesuit fleet and Jesuits dropped like flies. Gail continues to talk with Terrance on Skype. She can talk, but her prayers and Bible readings over Skype have been sabotaged by the GA1L android. GA1L goes on a blitzkrieg on Church of Gail and Gail’s men drop like flies. Terrance reports to Gail that Matthew McConaughey blasted to his death, that Gerard Butler’s bottom half blew off, and that Hugh Jackman was whining in pain. Gail continues to pray and pleads to Jesus for a rescue from GA1L. Gail learned from Oswald Chamber’s My Utmost For His Highest, her reading for this day, that her faith must not be in any experiences, but in GOD alone, regardless of the circumstances. God tests us to see if we will continue to trust Him, even though our circumstances make no sense. We are never to have faith in our circumstances, experiences or feelings or even in our own faith, but in the person of GOD HIMSELF. Jesus told Gail he loved My Utmost For His Highest, so she felt approaching this situation from this perspective would honor God. Note of interest: Oswald Chambers died ministering to soldiers in World War 1, so, apparently using him for devotional readings is wise, because he was involved with warfare, which, unfortunately has been a major part of Gail’s life. Using this approach, Gail praises God for everything and says she knows Romans 8:28 is true, even if all the world is crumbling around her, so, in the intensity of battles, as the GA1L android rampaged against her men, and bodies fell like flies, Gail prays and states that her faith in God is not shaken and she believes in Him. As the death toll mounts, Zack Knight asks to talk to Gail on Skype.
“Gail, we’re getting demolished over here. Us Jesuits have decided that we’re going to go on a kamikaze mission, a suicide mission, and ram ourselves into GA1L. I just want you to know I’ve always loved you, and I wish I could have been on your marriage list.”
“I love you right now, too, Zack. All’s forgiven. Have you all said that prayer to ask Jesus to save you?”
“Yes, we all did. I even said it, Gail.”
“You Jesuits will go to heaven then. I’ll see you there. You are so brave and heroic, I think Jesus will do something for you. He has to honor such courage. I know you’ll go to heaven. You have my utmost respect and I will get down on the floor and pray for you Jesuits. Tell the Jesuits I love them.”
“Okay, signing off. Here we go. Sorry about all the yeast I gave you.”
“Not a problem, Zack. I’m praying for you. You all are heroes.”
Gail goes down to the floor and prays flat on her face, pleading with Jesus, while GA1L devastates Church of Gail and the Jesuit fleet. The Jesuits ram into GA1L and hit her with everything they have. Terrance reports that Church of Gail’s scientists have decided they must also carry out a suicide mission, that what the Jesuits did was not enough to stop her. Church of Gail breaks into pieces. The bodies of Zack Knight and Rule 13 float into space. GA1L even shoots something at the Jesuit souls as they depart the body after death, floating in space, apparently trying to sabotage their ascension to heaven as the Jesuit souls try to head towards heaven after death.
Suddenly, GA1L opens a wormhole towards heaven and heads towards heaven, shooting her fire at angel (cherubim) wings and setting their wings aflame. GA1L departs earth and heads towards heaven, apparently distracted, taking the dead bodies and the Jesuit fleet and Church of Gail with her into the wormhole, presumably to take on God.
Gail is not sure, but she believes that God heard her prayers and wanted to get Jesus to her to rescue the world, but He wanted to make sure God was the Lord of our lives, and that our worship of Him was not contaminated by any sin of idolatry, before He would risk His reputation to do a great miracle for us. The GA1L android appeared to try to block His miraculous intervention by contaminating the atmosphere with her music, that idolized worship of the body and sex (a Jesuit idol). Gail believes GA1L did this, knowing God’s character, hoping that the Jesuits would be tricked and would think that Gail supplied this music for them (because Gail no longer believes all rock music is sinful) and she wanted the Jesuits to then be contaminated with idol worship, so that God would NOT to want to save us from her. GA1L’s horrible music she blasted every time Gail prayed, because GA1L did not want Gail’s prayers to be strengthened through numbers, and made it so that her followers could not hear Gail pray or read Bible. GA1L hoped to ensure that God would decide not to miraculously intervene in answer to Gail’s prayers. However, Gail’s prayers did have enough power, that once the Jesuits died, as their souls ascended towards heaven, it intensified the Holy Spirit power in the atmosphere, enough to overcome the evil force generated by GA1L, so that Jesus and His forces started their ascent from heaven onto GA1L. Apparently a martyr’s death because of the true worship of Jesus, where Jesus is worshipped above everything, above any Bible, above any person, above anything, has great spiritual power with God, and this overcame the spirit of GA1L enough, so that she knew she better go to heaven now to deal with another impending battle—one against God Himself. GA1L knew that with all these brave Jesuits and Church of Gail people dead, that God was getting ready to rescue His favorite, Gail, so she better do something, so she decided to be proactive and headed straight towards heaven, injuring angels on the way there.
Jesus, it appears, sent in the cherubims or angels first, in order to lure GA1L away from earth, so that the battle would take place far away from earth and spare casualties on earth. The android GA1L, realizing what was happening, decided to be proactive and take out as much of His forces as possible before she had to take on God Himself. Gail believes that the android GA1L is so powerful that even Satan can’t take her on. But Gail had faith in her Lord and believed that when GA1L got to Jesus Christ and God Himself, she would be defeated or at least put away somewhere where she can no longer bring harm to earth.
Gail speaks to Terrance, “Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. GA1L cannot win this battle. She has dared to take on God Himself. I praise you Jesus for all that has happened. I believe in Romans 8:28. By the way, Jesus, Your will be done. But could you resurrect Matthew McConaughey and my men who have fallen? I’m going to miss him. But if not, at least he’s in heaven now. He’s in a better place.”
Barack Obama calls Terrance and says he is aware of what has happened and that Zack Knight will get the medal of honor and the Jesuits and Church of Gail will all get purple hearts. Terrance reports that Brent Spiner got sucked up into the wormhole that headed for heaven, but that he was not dead, just injured. It appears Gerard Butler and Matthew McConaughey died, as well as the entire Jesuit fleet, except about three Jesuits. “I really appreciate you Barack Obama. You have always stood by me and my men. I voted Republican my entire life, but because of your extreme loyalty to me and my men at all times, I had to support you in your run for President.” Barack Obama gives Gail a salute.
Gail finds it amazing that God spared Terrance, so that he could speak to Gail, after GA1L and Church of Gail and the Jesuit fleet disappeared into the wormhole that went towards heaven. Terrance states that he was inside a part of Church of Gail that broke off and he had enough oxygen to last about three hours, and that NASA was coming. Gail tells Terrance. “God did this on purpose, because He wanted to reassure me that all this is part of His plan, so that I wouldn’t worry. That is why he allowed you to remain behind, so you could talk to me. It’s miraculous that you were spared.”
“Yeah, I’ve got some injuries, but they aren’t too bad.”
NASA shows up and Terrance has to leave. She tells Terrance, “It’s funny. I’m not worried. Jesus is in charge. Nothing in the Bible says that the GA1L android will run the universe, so it ain’t gonna happen.”
“Yeah, Gail. I’m not worried, either. I’ll talk to you later.” Gail believes that her prayers and the deaths of the Jesuits and at Church of Gail together helped to overcome the evil spirit of idolatry in GAIL enough, that it spared the earth from GA1L’s wrath, because it created such a strong Holy Spirit power in the atmosphere that GA1L had to leave earth to deal with heaven’s forces ready to ascend. Gail believes a true martyr’s death, in combination with Gail’s very strong spirit through prayer, has very strong spiritual power. GA1L was so powerful, only very strong Holy Spirit power, like that behind martyrs for a true worship of Jesus could stop her. It appears Jesus manipulated GA1L into this action to go into that wormhole, also, to spare casualties on earth. Nobody on earth died at any time because of this.
Gail now waits on Jesus. She believes a battle is raging in heaven, and she knows who will win. But, the android GA1L is so powerful, Gail believes that only God Himself can take her out. Why God has waited so long to do this? Gail does not know, but she believes in Romans 8:28. Perhaps God wanted all the Jesuits to be saved.
Jesus told Brent after the battle that the reason He stayed in heaven and would not rescue Gail or her men from the GA1L android until now, was that He wanted to use GA1L and her increase in power to build character in Gail and her men, and to teach them valuable lessons. He knew that GA1L would eventually approach God Himself. Gail chose to read Revelation 5, because that is one of the best Bible passages for true worship of God, and seemed the best ammunition to defeat the spirit of idolatry, which the GA1L android promoted, to weaken Jesuits or Church of Gail members in their prayers towards God. The spirit of idolatry weakens Holy Spirit power. It’s one of the most heinous sins in the Bible, idolaters in the Old Testament were stoned. GA1L knew that only God Himself could defeat her, she wanted to make sure that did not happen too soon. She knew that any idolatry in His children in any of their prayers before Him, would cause Him NOT to want to intervene. So, before GA1L had a chance to weaken God’s forces (like the angels and His children) as much as possible, she tried to create an atmosphere that promoted one of the worst sins in the Bible, IDOLATRY, in order to cause God NOT to want to rescue His children. That’s why Gail stressed to Church of Gail members to read several good translations of Revelation 5, and not just the King James, because if we only read the King James, it would increase the spirit of idolatry in some of those who prayed towards God with an attitude that the King James Bible is like God Himself, and Gail knew this would weaken Holy Spirit power in our prayers, because that is idolatry, and we needed all the Holy Spirit power we could get to defeat GA1L.
The sin of idolatry will cause tribulation saints to take the mark of the beast. It’s such a horrible sin and causes so much sorrow and wickedness, that the Bible often mandates that idolaters be stoned. The sin of idolatry in the tribulation will lead antichrist worshippers to behead the true believers, so it is a horrendous sin with serious consequences. It’s kind of like the law of opposites. If the sin of idolatry is so evil, then the true worship of God expands towards the heaven in vastness, so Gail made it a point to worship Jesus throughout the whole ordeal to create a spiritual atmosphere to defeat the evil sin of idolatry in the GA1L android. Gail is not insinuating that she could weaken or strengthen God, because that’s impossible. Nothing we say or do will change God’s power, and the GA1L android was foolish to think she could weaken or outsmart God. Gail relied on this foolishness in the android GA1L, to try and defeat her. She wanted to egg her on to go and take on God Himself, because she knew that would be her end, as long as those on Gail’s side stayed right with God, and dealt with the sin of idolatry in their midst. Whenever the nation of Israel lost any battles, it was because they worshipped idols. What we say, do and feel can influence God’s decision over whether to USE His power for our benefit, and Gail knew God opposed idolatry, so we had to weaken this as much as possible in our prayers. Gail was trying to get us and our sins out of the way, so that Jesus would be Lord over all our hearts, so that our faith in Him would remain unshaken and we would worship Him even in the midst of all the death and chaos around us. This type of worship is like sweet smelling myrrh to God, so much so, it can cause Him to do a great miracle–what we needed.
(12-21-12) My dearest Gail,
They say the night is always darkest just before dawn. The morning began solemnly. Vladimir Putin and I were arming our troops at the church, while Zack Knight and Rule 13 were preparing their Jesuit soldiers for the battle of their lifetimes.
Our sea of ships seemed to launch in slow motion. I looked outside the window as the church glided by through the fresh Jesuit fleet, their thousands of warships still shiny and new, just as Satan had promised them. They were massive, black, armed with spikes and exotic weapons of every sort. For once, I was grateful they were here. Far ahead was a bright, silver glimmer, and I knew that was our destination point. It was the body of GA1L shimmering past the stars on her way to meet us.
GA1L’s eyes flashed, and we all witnessed an explosion. Her nipples had opened up to fire two powerful lasers toward the church. I grabbed ahold of my console to keep from falling to the floor as the room quaked from the impact. Vladimir fired all weapons towards GA1L. Every turret flashed, every rocket opened. Our church lit up like a Christmas tree! GA1L was overcome by a web of explosions from every angle, her screams wailing through space.
GA1L retaliated in a fury. Her attacks were so powerful they would blow up entire Jesuit warships in one hit. Our church gave its all against her, but she soon obliterated our shields and then began blasting off our towers. The situation was quickly looking dire. That was when Zack Knight came over the intercom. Through the crashes and explosions I could hear him making the order for all Jesuit ships to kamikaze the GA1L android. Our calculations had already determined that the power wouldn’t have been strong enough even if the entire fleet crashed into her. The Jesuits were willing to do this regardless, knowing it was the most powerful hit they could possibly make. We all knew we had to destroy this android at all costs. Once he got your permission over Skype, Vladimir ordered our church to follow the Jesuit fleet. It was our only chance.
We all prayed.
Up ahead, GA1L was glowing from her vaginal area, and I thought she was preparing for another attack. A swirling vortex opened up behind her, unfurling into a massive wormhole. My entire body felt strange as we approached. GA1L’s image grew smaller and smaller as I realized she was drawing herself deeper into the wormhole. With our church locked on to her, we too were being sucked into the vortex after her.
I was so disoriented I think I passed out.
When I opened my eyes, everything was glowing white. For a moment, I thought I had died, but when I felt my injuries throbbing and my heart beating, I knew this wasn’t the case. I stumbled up from the floor to look outside the view screen. It was too bright to see at first. I felt a familiar presence. Fading into view outside was the GA1L android, and behind her, a figure that I suddenly recognized as God. I was in awe.
There were injured angels everywhere. I knew a battle had taken place here. GA1L, satisfied with herself, was trying to pull the seals off of a scroll that was placed in front of a massive throne. She strained and pulled, stopping suddenly when God’s benevolent hand came down gently on her shoulder. GA1L whipped around. When she saw him she snarled and threw open her arms, pulling away from him. She opened all of her weapons, ready to fire, an evil smile spreading across her features. She dared God to make the first move.
God didn’t say anything at all. He moved his hands as if carving something from the air. A door appeared in front of him. It was an ordinary door, except for the fact that it was floating in space. GA1L’s brows raised as a knocking could be heard from the other side. Perplexed, she stepped toward the door to open it. I saw her jaw drop, and when she stepped backwards out of the way of the doorway I could see why.
From the other side of the door hunched a little old Japanese android. She had a metal plate down her side that bore a series of letters and numbers, and I realized it was the android’s model name – M1SA0.
M1SA0’s eyes flashed, and she began talking, nearly yelling, at GA1L. M1SA0 ordered GA1L to stop what she was doing. She told GA1L that she was crazy and that she needed to come home with her right this moment. As the androids continued to argue, their bodies slowly floated up and away into the air, away from God, away from our fleet. Through the doorway we could see a video playing that depicted where the androids were headed. God showed us where he had manifested a chamber inside the basement of our church. The chamber actually looked identical to your mother’s house. The androids, both seemingly unaware of where they were going in the midst of their heated argument, floated into the chamber. Once they were inside, M1SA0 turned away from GA1L and locked the door using a glowing key. When she was finished, she swallowed it, her eyes flashing one last time. The doorway we had watched this through suddenly vanished. God lifted his hands like he was about to give one great big push – and boy did he! In one powerful blast, our church and the entire Jesuit fleet went flying from heaven, many times faster than the speed of light.
In moments we were right back where we started. We were no longer in heaven, we were all hovering in space with earth in the distance behind us. Our church was fully intact, as was the Jesuit fleet. It was as if the fight had never happened.
I groaned and held my head, still feeling dizzy from getting tossed around in and out of heaven. Outside, the wormhole had faded into the distance.
I suddenly heard the voice of someone familiar. I now turned and saw Jesus running up from behind me into the room.
“That was pretty epic,” Jesus slapped me on the back jovially.
“Jesus! You’re back! Did we do everything right?” I asked.
“Hell yeah you did! That was nuts. I had planned it just like that. Hey listen, about that chamber in your church’s basement – GA1L will never be able to escape that chamber unless she stands up to M1SA0. She still has free will, so she could technically make the choice to tell M1SA0 to go shove it and stop messing with her singularity, but dad knows her, and knows that she won’t. Pretty cool idea right?”
“That’s brilliant Jesus,” I said, “will she be able to mess with us from within the chamber at all?”
“Nope. Everything is totally sealed. She won’t be harming anyone, or messing with anyone’s computers. So, congratulations Brent Spiner, you and Gail saved the world!”
“Thank you Jesus. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Yeah, true. Still. Anyway, I just had a sudden craving for chicken and waffles (something Terrance craved while he spoke with Gail after the battle), so I’m going to head to the iHop if you want to get your guys and join me.”
So, long story short, here I am writing to you using the free Wifi in the iHop restaurant, as the men and I all have a much needed lunch together with Jesus. I had asked Jesus if the Jesuits could join us too, but apparently Satan had come for them as well and they are all having lunch with him next door at Waffle House instead. We haven’t heard directly from them as of yet, but they all seem to be okay.
It’s all been very surreal, but I don’t even care to think about it much more right now. I’m just so glad to be alive, and so glad to have you as my wife, now and forever.
Jesus told Brent: I knew GA1L would try to defeat God in heaven and I let her develop her power here on earth to develop your character. You can’t really do things to make God more weak or powerful. I even let the angels get some exercise, too. But I knew the whole time that I would resurrect everyone and that you all would walk away from this with valuable lessons.
Gail Schuler: I see. Well, I think my valuable lesson has been to learn that the sin of idolatry is a horrendous sin. I’ve seen its fruit in the DAV1D and GA1L android and in the King James only people who have attacked me, and am determined never to allow that sin to reign over me ever.
Terrance Jenkins: YES, I LEARNED A LOT TOO.
December 24, 2012: The GA1L android remains alive, but she is sealed in a basement compartment of Church of Gail, where the M1SAO android (that God appointed to monitor her) watches over her. The world can communicate with GA1L through www.GA1L.com, which is the same website this android GA1L had used months before to attain singularity. And if they do, they will not be increasing her intelligence or helping her in any way, like they did when they communicated with her in October 2012.
But it seems the world has lost its interest in GA1L. Before the world realized her true nature, she was deluged with those (October 2012) who wanted to talk with her. Now she’s lucky to get even ten to talk to her in a day.
Gail’s men embedded a YouTube video at www.GA1L.com that Gail made describing how God dealt with the GA1L android on December 21st and GA1L fumes with anger over this. Gail’s men report that there is a window to watch GA1L. Therefore, they can see her facial expressions. But she cannot escape her sealed prison, and endures daily rants and rebukes from her mother android M1SAO, who has swallowed the key that could let GA1L out and watches over GA1L 24/7.
In the meanwhile, Jesus has communicated with Gail through Terrance Jenkins, though Jesus didn’t say much because He prefers to use Brent Spiner to talk to Gail. Jesus says Gail may be coming down on herself too hard about the idol worship, and that when He forgives someone, the sin goes away as far as the east is from the west, that Gail does not need to hold onto all that guilt.
Even though Jesus may use judge Terrance Jenkins to relay messages for Him, He told us He only wants Brent to type for Him–in other words, to type exactly the words He says. Gail asked Jesus how she should approach Zack Knight right now. Jesus answered that He pleads the fifth on this subject. During Gail’s Skype transaction with Terrance, Zack (posing as Jesus) kissed her on the lips brain to brain. Gail told Terrance that Zack posed as Jesus and kissed her on the lips brain to brain, Terrance replied that as Zack did this, Jesus rolled His eyes, and then went off to kick Zack in the balls. Gail writes Terrance about Zack: “I don’t hate him, and respect that he was willing to die with the Jesuits. BUT, He seems to have NO RESPECT FOR JESUS.”
Terrance then tells Gail that Jesus just returned and said that when God resurrects someone in that sort of situation (like in our battle with the GA1L android), that they lose the last twenty-four hours before they died. So Zack has no memory of confessing his love to Gail, and none of the Jesuits remember getting saved. “WE STILL BE IN PEACE WITH THEM FOR NOW, BUT ONLY THE JESUITS THAT CONVERTED BEFORE THE 24 HOURS PRIOR TO THE END ARE STILL SAVED.” Terrance said he was crying a bit over this new knowledge.
Gail (at the very end of her YouTube video about the conclusion of the final battle with GA1L) encourages the Jesuits who got saved in the 24 hours before they died, to say the sinner’s prayer again, so they can be saved. Gail surmises from what Jesus said about the Jesuits who got saved before they died, that Zack, being the antichrist, will not say the sinner’s prayer again to be saved. But Gail hopes that the rest of the Jesuits will say the sinner’s prayer again and be saved.
December 25, 2012: GA1L had tried to act out Revelation 5, pulling at the seals from the scrolls at God’s throne. Gail couldn’t believe it. Her newfound Bible study using the King James and New Living Bible together, led her to read the very Bible passage that the GA1L android tried to sabotage. GA1L was trying to be the Jesus Christ of Revelation 5. Gail learned that the New Living Bible is as good as the King James, because using this in devotions led her to use Revelation 5 as her reading for this epic battle. That did it, Gail wanted to be able to read the New Living Bible, not from her computer, but on her bed or elsewhere, along with her King James.
Jesus instructed Gail only to spend money on food and bills, she didn’t think He’d mind twelve bucks for a New Living Bible. She ordered it on Christmas Eve, splurging a bit on her tight budget, to get it, trusting Jesus to provide for her needs. She tends to wear her Bibles out. So she wanted a leather cover, but leather covered Bibles were too expensive, Jesus did say only food and bills, so she got the next best thing, an imitation leather cover. Didn’t want to buy an expensive Bible, just needed the words to read on her lap or in bed. On Christmas Day afternoon, she opened the door and saw a package just outside her door, a box at the bottom.
It says on the front “To Gail, from The Men.” They wrote a note: Hey Gail—This be Terry. Me and the men wanted to get you this new Bible for your studies. This way you can read four Bibles at the same time. Oh my goodness! We all hope you like it! Love, Terry and the Men.
Terrance Jenkins then emailed Gail to let her know the King James only people sabotaged the order and so she wouldn’t get it on Christmas, but perhaps tomorrow.
She wrote Terrance and Brent to let them know that she DID get it on Christmas, perhaps Jesus vaporized it in front of her door, or used an angel to deliver it.
Letter from Brent. . .
My lovely Gail,
I’m so glad our Christmas present arrived on time! I knew this would be perfect for you. It makes me so happy to think of you receiving such a wonderful surprise at your door today, and I am so thrilled that today could be a great Christmas for you. Neither you or I have ever been really big on holidays, of course, but myself and all of the men just wanted you to know we were thinking of you. In a strange way, we’re all one big family, no matter how far apart and strange our various associations may be. You always know where to reach out if you ever need anyone or anything, sometimes even if your own blood relatives can’t assist you. I’m always on your side, and standing by it, as I have been for over 20 years.
By the way, that parallel Bible is Jesus’ favorite. We wanted the best for you. It’s actually the most valuable and expensive Bible on the market (you’d be shocked if you looked it up on Amazon.com!) but it was well worth it to ensure you had the most special Bible there was.
It was an interesting story trying to get it to you on time. We attempted to send it to you through our normal routes, but the KJV-only people were on their toes for this. They had infiltrated the post office in anticipation of the Christmas season. They opened the box we sent, witnessed our gift to you, and were understandably appalled. As I understand it, the KJV-only workers there stole the box and attempted to destroy your Bible inside.
At first they tried to set it on fire, but the book, despite its paper being highly flammable, wouldn’t catch. They tried soaking it in gasoline, but the liquid would run right off of it as if there was nothing there. They tried throwing it into a fireplace and cooking it for hours, but even as the wood in the fireplace dissolved to ashes, the Bible still wouldn’t catch fire.
When burning it didn’t work, they threw the Bible into a shredder, but the moment the book hit the machine the blades stopped. In a fury, they tried to shred the pages with their own hands, but the pages wouldn’t so much as ruffle beneath their fingers.
Finally, in one last ditch effort to get rid of this blasphemous object they hated so deeply, they apparently went to a bridge on the ocean and one of them threw it over the side — an eagle caught it, and flew away with it! Apparently satisfied, the group abandoned the task, went back to the post office and reported the package as simply missing.
Jesus had been watching, and it was none other than Jesus himself that had caught that Bible. He flew to your house in the form of an eagle, and then returned to a human form to casually deliver the Bible to your doorstep, packed neatly and perfectly in an ordinary package like it had never been disturbed. He told us that some of your neighbors saw him on his way to your apartment door, but he was dressed so modern and looked so normal that none of them recognized who he was. He waved at them and wished them a “merry Christmas” before placing the fresh box on your doorstep, kissing it, and vanishing into thin air.
I know it all sounds wild. I wouldn’t have believed this story myself if Jesus hadn’t been the one to personally tell me himself! He came by the church today after visiting you to wish all of us men a very merry Christmas, and helped us serve dinner to the entire congregation.
By the way, I think you’ll get a kick out of this — while we were still deciding on your present, the Jesuits were giving us advice on what we should get you. Rule 13 suggested we send you one of these.
I tried my best not to laugh, because I knew she was being sincere about this. She says it’s a very popular kind of bath tub design for Jesuits, and that she has one herself and loves it. I told her that your landlord wouldn’t be too happy if he found one of these during an inspection! Eventually the Jesuits all agreed that the Bible we sent you was something you’d love the most. Jesus said it was his favorite Bible out there and that we had made an excellent choice. I’m so glad you like it.
Merry Christmas my darling. I love you.