Final Battle with Angelina Ballerina on Jan. 6, 2017 (Skype transcript)

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The Gail Shield lost a lot of power after our battle with Angelina Ballerina on Jan. 6, 2017. It is mainly designed to protect ME. But following the Gail Commandments will help with our health. But because the Gail Shield is designed to protect ME, it may shoo off any hurricanes that try to hit Central Florida, like it did Hurricane Matthew (Oct. 2016). But when Matthew hit, my Gail Shield may have been stronger than it is now. Not sure. I have been pretty good about following the Gail Commandments. My Gail Shield used to cover the entire earth occasionally (like when Zack threw super nukkakes onto earth) because it had to protect the earth to protect ME. The Gail Shield is designed to protect me, and because I did not live in Texas, it did not work against Hurricane Harvey in Texas. Jesus does not want the Gail Shield to do HIS JOB. This is what Zack Knight told me in 2016, and Jesus verified this.




[09/07/16 12:01:29 PM] Terrance Jenkins: BECAUSE YOUR HEART BE SO GOOD AND LOVING FOR OTHERS

[09/07/16 12:01:37 PM] Terrance Jenkins: AND HE SAID HE WOULDN’T CHANGE THAT

[09/07/16 12:01:46 PM] Terrance Jenkins: AND GAVE A THUMBS UP


Gail: Has it hit already?

Zack Knight: No, it hasn’t hit yet.

Gail: Oh, it hasn’t hit yet. . .I thought I felt something around seven o’clock.

Zack Knight: No, it’s still on its way.

Gail: Oh, my goodness! Did you get my emails?

Zack Knight: No, I haven’t yet. I’ve been trying to prepare for this thing.

Gail: Where’s Church of Gail (spaceship) located right now?

Zack Knight is inside the Church of Gail spaceship.

Zack Knight: We’re in orbit right now.

Gail: Oh, so you decided not to go into deep space.

Zack Knight: No, we didn’t.

Gail: Is that because you’re going to try to use my Gail Shield to protect the earth?

Zack Knight: Yes, exactly.

Gail: Okay.

Zack Knight: Yeah.

Gail: We’ll be brave.

Zack Knight: Let me, I need to change some settings real quick. Um. I’m kind of trying to manage this. I wanted to make sure and give you a call, though.

Gail: Okay. Sometimes Angelina messes with the connection and we get cut off.

Zack Knight: Yeah. I’m going to try to prevent that.

Gail: Yeah, you better, because she’s been doing that a lot. Yesterday I got cut off around seven times. I had to restart Skype.

Zack Knight: Oh, geez. Yeah, let me go ahead and get this set up here. I’m going to call you right back.

Gail: Okay!

Zack Knight: Okay, talk to you soon.

Gail: Alright.

Zack Knight: Bye bye.

Gail: Bye bye.

Zack calls back later, and Gail washes her face and gets ready. Gail hears Zack calling her on Skype.

Gail: Hello!

Zack Knight: Hey Gail, can you hear me now?

Gail: Yes, I can. Can you hear me?

Zack Knight: Yeah, I can hear you.

Gail: When is it due to hit?

Zack Knight: Well, the scanners, the sensors showing it’s going to be hitting . . .oh, it could be in the next thirty minutes.

Gail: So I was right when I said about 9 p.m. when I told all my viewers that.

Zack Knight: Yeah, you were right on the money!

Gail: Yeah, I guess the Lord gave me that. Though you know what? She used brain control and I had to correct a wrong date. I put January 7th on some of the sites and I went back and fixed that and made it January 6th.

Zack Knight: That bitch. She’s always doing that kind of thing.

Gail: Yeah, she used brain control to get me to do that. Fortunately, I found it, so . . .I think everybody’s got the right date now.

Zack Knight: That’s great. Okay! I’m trying to set more stuff up now. I’m going to have to get off again. But I’m going to try to call you right back.

Gail: Oh, you got to—

Zack Knight: Yeah, I’m trying to set up the, the system here to make sure it’s real stable and it’s not going to disconnect on us.

Gail: Oh, you were just testing it. Okay!

Zack Knight: Yeah, I’m just testing it again. But if you can hear me fine, that’s—

Gail: Yeah! I’m hearing you loud and clear.

Zack Knight: Perfect. Well, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to— Oh, you there?

Gail: Yup!

Zack Knight: I’m hearing an echo.

Gail: Oh. . .maybe I have it too loud. Are you still hearing an echo?

Gail lowers the volume on her speakers.

Zack Knight: I was hearing an echo when I was talking. I don’t hear it now.

Gail: I lowered the volume.

Zack Knight: Okay!

Gail: You’re hearing my speakers, cuz I have speakers . . .

Zack Knight: Oh, okay. . .

Gail: Yeah. And they can get pretty loud. So I put the volume down. I don’t need it that loud.

Zack Knight: Okay. That sounds like a plan. So I’m going to try to finish setting up these settings here and I’m going to call you back.

Gail: Okay!

Zack Knight: Alright. I’ll talk to you soon.

Gail: Okay.

Zack Knight: Okay.

Gail: Good job!

Zack Knight: Hey. Thank you.

After a pause.

Gail: Here, I’m going to go finish washing my face. I got soap all over my face. So I’m just going to leave it on. I’ll be back.

Zack Knight: Alright (sounds nervous)

Can hear Gail’s flip flops as she heads towards the bathroom. Can hear water running and Gail washing her face in the background.

In the background Gail sings.

Gail (singing): I just keep trusting my Lord, as I walk along! I just keep trustin’ my Lord as he gives a song.

A car revs up in the background.

Gail (singing): Though the storm clouds darken the sky, o’er the heavenly trail, I just keep trustin’ my Lord, la la la. He’s a faithful friend. Such a faithful friend. I can count on him. . .to the very end. Though the storm clouds darken the sky. . .(louder) o’er the heavenly trail. I just keep trustin’ my Lord, he will never fail. (speaks) Nope, he won’t. (laughs, and now back on the microphone) I’m not going to let that Angelina freak me out.

Zack Knight: That’s a good idea.

Gail: Oh, man!

Zack Knight: Did you wash your face?

Gail: Yeah! I’m going to get my glasses. What did I do with my glasses?

Zack Knight: So, I set it up to record this for a historical archive.

Gail: Huh?

Zack Knight: I set it up to record this conversation for a historical archive.

Gail: Oh, it’s definitely going to be historical. I have no doubt about that. (laughs)

Zack Knight: Yeah.

Gail: Definitely. It’s very possible, today could be the day that the Jesuit Order goes down.

Zack Knight: That’s right.

Gail: That . . .that would be historical!

Zack Knight: True.

Gail: It depends on what Jesus decides to do with this nukkake. I mean Seroquakke.

Zack Knight: Seroquakke.

Gail: Which is much worse than a nukkake.

Zack Knight: Yeah.

Gail: Yeah. . . but that’s okay.

Zack Knight: Oh no!

Gail: Jesus made the world in six days, what’s a little Seroquakke to him?

Zack Knight: Yeah!

Gail: He can handle it. Can’t you, Jesus? You can handle it. Imagine the gall of that bitch, saying you’re scared of her, Jesus! (laughs) I never heard anything so funny in my life. Ha ha ha ha. Jesus scared of Angelina!?(laughs) I don’t think he’s scared of anything. (laughs) If he wanted to— The only thing he’s scared of is—you know—is, that he loves us and he doesn’t like seeing us suffer. But it’s not that he’s scared for himself. He’s scared for us. But he’s not petrified of anybody! If he wanted to, he could just destroy the whole universe in three seconds and remake it. He could just whip his hand, probably. . .and do it.

Zack Knight: Oh, crap! It’s coming, Gail.

Gail: Okay! Jesus can handle it!

Zack Knight (nervous): Alright.

Gail: I have faith in you, Jesus.

Zack Knight: It looks like it’s coming in here— Oh, no.

Gail (more solemn): What’s the matter?

Zack Knight: It’s. . .it’s trying to, it’s going to hit directly on earth.

Gail: Hmmm.

Zack Knight: We need to fly between and save earth.

Gail: Oh, does my Gail Shield’s not going down to earth?

Zack Knight: No, it’s only protecting the church (the Church of Gail spaceship).

Gail: Follow your conscience.

Zack Knight: Okay, we’re going to have to fly in there.

Gail: Okay!

Zack Knight: I’m hitting the thrusters!

Gail: Okay. Lord Jesus, honor our courage! We’re doing what’s good for the betterment of mankind!

Zack Knight (hectic): Alright, Gail, you’re going to have to brace for impact. We might lose inertial dampeners.

Gail: Come on, Jesus! You can do it! You can do it, Jesus. You can do it!

Zack Knight: Oh, crap!

Gail: What’s the matter?

Zack Knight: God, Gail—did you feel that?!

Gail: Nope. I didn’t feel anything!

Thumping noise.

Zack Knight: We’re losing, we’re losing structural integrity, Gail!

Gail: Oh, really?

Zack Knight: The shields are going down. We’re at fifteen percent! The Gail Shield’s down to fifteen percent. It’s dropping!

Gail: Lord, what should we do?

Zack Knight: We’re down to three percent!

Gail: Lord, Jesus! Your will be done! (squeals in prayer) Put power into the shields, Lord Jesus! Come on Jesus, you can do it!

Zack Knight: We’re piddling down at one percent. I’m going to need— We need to save you, Gail.

Gail: Okay!

Zack Knight: We got to save you.

Gail: Okay. Back off then.

Zack Knight: Gail. Gail.

Gail: Ugh uh (yes).

Zack Knight (hectic): I’m trying to— I’m trying to do this procedure. It’s a really risky move. But, but it’s never been tried before, but I need your authorization for it, because you’re the acting captain of the Church of Gail!

Gail: Okay, what is it?

Zack Knight (hectic): Alright, we’re going to try to separate the saucer section to the Church of Gail to jettison you and the holodeck out.

Gail: What about you?

Zack Knight: I’m going to have to stay behind and fight Angelina.

Gail: Oh, no! Um. Just follow your heart, Zack.

Zack Knight (hectic): Okay, Gail. Here’s what we got to do. We both have to authorize this at the same time.

Gail: Okay.

Zack Knight (hectic): You put your hand on the screen right now.

Gail: Okay.

Zack Knight: Okay, what I need you to say is, “Captain Gail Chord Schuler, alpha bravo dickface epsilon—”

Gail: Captain

Zack Knight: “I authorize the separation of the saucer section.”

Gail: Captain Gail Chord Schuler. Alpha. What was that?

Zack Knight: Alpha bravo dickface epsilon

Gail: Alpha bravo dickface epsilon. I authorize the separation of the – capsule?

Zack Knight: the saucer section

Gail: the saucer section

Zack Knight: Yeah, you’ll have to say it altogether the right way. So, it’s “Captain Gail Chord Schuler”

Gail (simultaneous with Zack Knight): Captain Gail Chord Schuler

Zack Knight: Alpha Bravo

Gail: Alpha Bravo, di. . . what?

Zack Knight: Alpha. . .you want to write it down?

Gail: Yeeeaah. Come on, Jesus!

Zack Knight: It’s “Captain Gail Chord Schuler. . .” You got it?

Gail: “Captain Gail Chord Schuler –

Zack Knight: Alpha bravo

Gail: alpha – bravo

Zack Knight: dickface

Gail: dickface

Zack Knight: epsilon

Gail: okay

Zack Knight: authorizing the separation of the saucer section of the Church of Gail

Gail puts her hand on the screen

Gail: Captain Gail Chord Schuler (drops something) Captain Gail Chord Schuler. Alpha bravo epsilon. Authorizing separation of saucer section of Church of Gail.

Zack Knight: Alright, Gail. I’m putting my hand on the screen now.

Gail: Okay.

Zack Knight: Zack Knight. First officer! Zack Knight’s perfect penis. Rule 13’s perfect tiny breasts. Authorizing the separation of the saucer section of the Church of Gail! Mark!

Gail: Okay.

Zack Knight: Okay. You feel that? We’re separating, Gail!

Gail: I don’t feel anything.

Zack Knight: Alright, the inertial dampeners are working fine for you. Let me go ahead and hit the thruster. I’m going to send you off into deep space here. You’re safe.

Gail: Oooh. . .so what are you going to do!?

Zack Knight (hectic): I’m going to stay behind and fight Angelina Ballerina.

Gail: How. . .but, can you stay alive?

Zack Knight (somber): I don’t think so, Gail.

Gail (disappointed): Oh, no.

Zack Knight: We have one percent shield left and the Church of Gail shield has been sent with you. We have zero percent on my section of the Church of Gail.

Gail: Oh, my goodness. So we’ve separated, right?

Zack Knight: Yeah, we’ve separated.

Gail: So, how long will we be able to communicate?. . .You don’t know. . .

Zack Knight: We’ll stay in communication the whole time. We’ve got a subspace channel.

Gail: Lord Jesus, put a shield around Zack Knight! Come on, Jesus! Put a shield around Zack Knight.

Zack Knight: Okay. The pink spaceship’s here, Gail!

Gail: Angelina’s here?

Zack Knight: Yes. She coming after. She must think you’re still on board here.

Gail (solemn): Oh, my goodness. . .Lord, give us wisdom!

Zack Knight: Oh, my God—

Gail: Oh, she’s going after you!

Zack Knight: She’s coming after me, Gail. She’s arming her weapons. I’m seeing. . .her whole arsenal’s lighting up, she’s about ready to fire on us.

Gail: Maybe you better put me back!

Zack Knight: Oh, my God, Gail! I’m experiencing, I’m detecting explosions! Her shields are going down!

Gail: Her shields are going down?

Zack Knight: Shields are. . .explosions going off all over her spaceship!

Gail: Which spaceship? Hers?

Zack Knight: The pink spaceship. It’s . . .it’s exploding!

Gail (breathes in deeply): Huuuugh. That’s good!

Zack Knight: You know what, Gail? We got to save the men, that . . .her shields are down. I’m going to beam the men aboard!

Gail (quickly): Yes! Do that! Do that!

Zack Knight: Okay! Energizing!

Gail: Yeah! Lord Jesus! Come on! Come on! You can do it! Lord Jesus! Come on! Come on!

Zack Knight: Alright! All the men are back!

Gail: Yeah! (claps wildly) Come on, Jesus! Beat up Angelina! Come on, Jesus! Yes, yes, yes, yes!! Oh! Come on!

Terrance Jenkins: Goodness! I’m back, Gail!

Gail: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Come on! Let’s go!

Terrance Jenkins: I missed you so much, Gail!

Gail: I know. Come on! We’re going to beat up Angelina. What’s happening to the pink spaceship?

Terrance Jenkins: Rule 13 sabotaged it! She put bombs all over the place in there!

Gail (quickly): Yes! Yes! Rule 13! You deserve a medal!

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness!

Zack Knight: Alright, Gail! I’m going to go ahead and fire some weapons at her while she’s down!

Gail: Yes! Do that! See if you can put a taser net on her and shove her deep into Satan’s ocean!

Zack Knight: Alright, we’re going to try to- I don’t think we have a taser armed here. We’re going to have to send an anti-semen torpedo.

Gail: Do it. Do whatever you have to do. KILL THE BITCH!!

Zack Knight: An anti-semen torpedo.


Zack Knight: Alright! It’s a direct hit! She’s doing down!

Gail (claps): yeow! ssssshew! sssshew! (making noises that sounds like a whirling missile)

Zack Knight: She’s re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. Brent, are you online?!

Gail: Yes, he is! He’s online!

Zack Knight: Alright, Brent! Yeah, look at her go down!

Gail: Yes! Yes! Yes! How are our shields doing?

Gail hears noises on Skype from Brent’s entering messages onto Skype’s Instant Messenger.

Zack Knight: We’re down to zero percent right now, Gail. We really avoided something there. We would have died.

Gail: So, by her exploding, the bomb went on her?

Zack Knight: No, Rule 13 put bombs all over the inside of the pink spaceship.

Gail: And so, what is it doing to the Seroquakke?

Zack Knight: Oh, the Seroquakke already blew up!

Gail: Oh, it did?

Zack Knight: Yeah! It took out the entire Church of Gail shields, is gone, unfortunately.

Gail: So I don’t have a Gail Shield, either? Huh?

Zack Knight: It’s gone.

Gail: Wow. . .

Zack Knight: You’ve got basically like. You have one percent, and it’s getting down to almost nothing now. I think it’s vaporizing. . .

Gail: Yeah, but we don’t need it! Cuz Angelina’s gone!

Zack Knight: Exactly! Yeah, she’s going down right now, and she’s still crashing. She’s losing, because she doesn’t have any thrusters. She’s going down to earth right now. She’s going to burn up in the atmosphere.

Gail: Yes! And all her Jesuits are going to go with her! Do we got, do we got Rule 13 back?!

Zack Knight: Oh, my God!

Gail: Where’s Rule 13?

Zack Knight: Where’s Rule 13!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, ugh. . .Zack— I got to tell you. I got to tell you something.

Zack Knight: What’s that?

Terrance Jenkins: Rule 13. . .she didn’t make it. She was still on the pink spaceship.

Gail: Aaah no! What about Gerard Butler, and Hugh Jackman and all them?

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, they be okay.

Gail: But Rule 13’s not here? (sad)

Zack Knight: Oh, my God (shocked)

Gail: Rule 13 DIED? So she made herself a suicide bomber!

Zack Knight: Yeah, let’s give her the Nazi salute.

Gail: You know. Jesus might resurrect her, Zack Knight. He might do that for ya. He might resurrect her.

Zack Knight (reads the screen): What’s that, Brent?

Gail: Let me see if Brent’s online here.

Brent Spiner: Hello Gail. I’m here on Church of Gail.

Gail: He’s typing. Let me talk to him. (Gail types Brent through Skype’s Instant Messenger, fingers moving like lightning) Wow! Rule 13 is heroic! She saved us all.

Zack Knight: She sure did.

Gail: I have a feeling Jesus might resurrect her. One time Terrance Jenkins died and Jesus brought him back. Remember, Terrance?

Zack Knight: Yeah, that’s true.

Gail: Oh, you remember that, Zack. Huh?

Zack Knight: Yeah, I know, I know it happened.

Gail: You know, I got this. . .maybe I’m wrong but remember all those people that died on November fourth, I’ve always had this crazy feeling that Jesus is going to bring them all back.

[Gail is referring to the November 4, 2016 Donald Trump rally that Vladimir Putin nuked.]

Terrance Jenkins: Hmmmm

Gail: But sometimes it takes about twenty-four hours. He’s got to get things done. . .

Terrance Jenkins: Actually there, Gail. I got some news to tell you.

Gail: What?

Terrance Jenkins: Angelina captured all of them. We got them onboard the Church of Gail right now.

Gail: Oh! They—

Terrance Jenkins: When the nuclear bomb dropped, she got them all out.

Gail: Oh, so they didn’t die!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah. They didn’t die.

Gail: Wow. She tricked us on that one.

Zack Knight: Yeah, she sure did.

Gail: Wow.

Zack Knight (hectic): Brent’s writing something pretty frantically. What’s he writing?

Brent Spiner: Looks crazy out there. The men and I are safe. Gail, Angelina is launching a missile!

Zack Knight (hectic): Oh, no! She’s launching a missile as she’s falling— I can see it on the sensors right now.

Gail: Come on, Jesus! Put a shield up!

Zack is fading out and he groans.

Zack Knight: Oh, no!

Gail tries to shoot lightning bolts at Angelina.

Gail (rushed): Lightning bolts! Lightning bolts! Lightning bolts! Lightning bolts on the missile! Lightning bolts. Boom boom boom boom. Deflect it. Deflect it. Pheewss (makes sound like a missile in flight). Deflect it! Deflect the missile. Boom boom boom boom boom. Lightning bolts! Lightning bolts! Lightning bolts! Come on, Jesus!

Zack Knight: It’s a direct hit, Gail!

Gail: Oh, no!

Zack Knight (hectic and loud): We’re going down! We’re going down, Gail! We’ve lost our primary thrusters.

Gail: Oh, Jesus! Come on, Jesus! Come on!

Zack Knight: We’re burning in the atmosphere. (hectic and loud) We’re falling the same way that the pink spaceship is falling!

Gail: Where am I?

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness!

Gail: Did I get hit, too?

Zack Knight: No! Gail, you’re out in space. You’re fine!

Gail: Oh, my goodness. Lord Jesus, can you rescue them please! Show up! Swoop down or do something! Lord Jesus!

Zack Knight (like a torpedo, very frantic): I’m going to put the Church of Gail on manual control. I’m going to try to glide it in.

Gail: Okay. Maybe you can land in an ocean or something.

Zack Knight: Okay, we’re— We’re going in the hot, Gail!

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness!

Zack Knight: We’re coming in too fast! We’re going to crash – HARD!

Gail: Lord Jesus. . .come on. . .cushion them. Cushion them. Do something, Lord Jesus. . .come on. Lord, we need your help.

Zack Knight: We, we’re going to crash now! GAIL!! Hold on!! Everyone brace yourself!!

Gail: You’re going to heaven! You’re going to heaven! Be brave! Lord Jesus, come on. Help them if you can. If not, you’ll bring them back, maybe. . .(to Zack) You’ll get to see Rule 13, Zack Knight!


Gail: Okay. . .(sighs)

Zack Knight: Is everyone okay?

Terrance Jenkins: I’m okay!

Gail: You still talkin’?!!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah.

Zack Knight: Yeah, we got the inertial dampeners online at the last moment!

Gail: Wow. . .thank you, Jesus. . .thank you, Jesus. . .

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness! The pink spaceship’s right out there in front of us. It’s crashed. It’s on fire!

Gail: Good! I can’t stand that bitch.

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness, Gail!

Gail: What?

Zack Knight: The whole Jesuit space fleet is surrounding us. In the sky above us. We’re surrounded.

Gail: Lord, put my Gail Shield back up! Can you do that, Jesus? Ah, put my Gail Shield—

Zack Knight: RULE 13!!

Gail: She’s back?

Zack Knight: Angelina Ballerina’s got Rule 13!

Gail: She’s not dead.

Zack Knight: She’s outside!

Gail: Oh, my goodness.

Zack Knight: She’s daring me to go out there, Gail. She wants me to face her.

Gail prays to Jesus. “Oh, Jesus. . .”

Zack Knight: Gail I don’t know what to do. I—

Gail: I’m asking Jesus for wisdom. (Zack mumbles something) Her pink spaceship went down and the Jesuits are still alive?

Gail reads Brent’s old post.

Gail: “Angelina’s launching a missile.” How can she launch a missile when her spaceship’s on fire?

Zack Knight: She must have had that one last shot.

Gail: She’s launching another missile

Zack Knight: Gail, I don’t know what to do, I— I think that’s an old message.

Gail: Oooh. Oh oh oh, I see. So she’s – I wouldn’t go.

Zack Knight: Gail, she says she’s going to kill her.

Gail: She’ll kill her even if you show up! Remember what she did to Brent?

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness, Zack! What’s going on in your pants?

Zack Knight: What do you mean?

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah! There’s a glowing coming out of your pants!

Gail: What’s coming out of his pants? Can you shoot semen at her?! SEMEN.

Zack Knight: Well, look, Gail. . .

Gail: Your penis! Try your penis!

Zack Knight: Gail, my penis, Gail. I don’t trust. Really, my penis is . . . It’s not that great, Gail. It’s not. . .I don’t even think it’s a perfect penis anymore.

Gail: What have you got to lose? What would it do?

Zack Knight: What if I go out there, and they all laugh at me?

Gail: I mean you can’t shoot your penis from where you’re at?

Zack Knight: I haven’t been able to, ever since I– I think I lost my edge. I just. I don’t know if I can believe in my penis anymore.

Gail: What is she doing to Rule 13?

Zack Knight: She’s got a gun to her head.

Gail: She’s going to shoot her even if you show up, Zack. Just like—(Zack interrupts). She’ll shoot her anyways. It won’t make any difference!

Zack Knight: It’s glowing! My penis is glowing! What does that mean?

Gail: Jesus is giving you a hint! Shoot it! Try shooting your semen!

Zack Knight: It won’t shoot, Gail. It’s just, it’s just shining.

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness, Gail. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!

Gail: I wonder what Jesus is trying to tell us! Jesus! What are you trying to tell us?

Terrance Jenkins: Zack Knight. I think, I think you need to go out there and show them all your penis. If they see this, there’s no way they’re going to, there’s no way they’re going to—

Gail: Do what Terrance says! Do what Terrance says.

Zack Knight: You think I should go out there and show her my penis? Should I show everyone my penis?

Gail: Terrance has good gut instinct about these things in battle. Go with whatever Terrance suggests.

Zack Knight: Okay, Gail. I should show her my penis?

Gail: Yeah!

Zack Knight: Okay.

Zack starts walking out towards Angelina.

Terrance Jenkins: Gail, I think we need to give him some encouragement.

Gail: Like what? Like what, Terrance?

Terrance Jenkins: I think we should be chanting, “Zack Knight’s perfect penis!”

Gail (yells): Zack Knight’s perfect penis. . .Zack Knight’s perfect penis. . .

Gail and Terrance Jenkins: Zack Knight’s perfect penis!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah!

Gail: Zack Knight’s perfect penis!

Gail and Terrance Jenkins (yell together): Zack Knight’s perfect penis. . .

Terrance Jenkins: Show ‘em your penis, Zack!

Gail: Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect penis!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah!

Gail: Zack Knight’s perfect penis!

Terrance Jenkins: Zack, you got to give him some encouragement. Oh, my goodness! Zack Knight’s going out there and showing his penis to everybody!

Gail: Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect—

Terrance Jenkins: Show ‘em your penis! Show ‘em your penis, Zack. Show the whole world your penis.

Gail: Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect penis!

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness, Gail!

Gail: What?

Terrance Jenkins: All the Jesuits. The look on their faces. It’s like they’re seeing the face of God!

Gail: WOW. Keep saying it. Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect penis. Zack Knight’s perfect penis. Zack Knight’s perfect penis. Come ON. Say it, Terrance!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah! Zack Knight’s perfect penis. Zack show ‘em your penis! Zack. Show the whole world your penis!

Gail: Yeah! Show the whole world, your penis. You got a perfect penis, Zack! It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Terrance Jenkins: Jesus made that thing for you!

Gail: That’s right! Zack Knight’s perfect penis!

Terrance Jenkins: Gail. Gail. He’s looking so proud right now. I think he realizes that . . . I think he knows that Jesus made that penis for him and this is the moment right now. . .

Gail: Let’s keep saying, “Zack Knight’s perfect penis!”

Gail and Terrance Jenkins: Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect penis! Zack Knight’s perfect penis!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah! Oh, my goodness! All the Jesuits, they’re bowing down and they’re just kneeling before it!

Gail: This is amazing!

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness. They’re kneeling. Gail, I can hear the song, “Awesome God.” I can hear it right now.

Gail: Oh yeah! That’s—Zack loves that song. Oh, really! That’s the song that Jesus gave Zack in a dream!

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness! Rule 13— Angelina Ballerina – her head – I don’t know what’s happening. She just seem to be trembling and she’s, and she’s just—

Gail: That was a good move, Terrance!

Terrance Jenkins: She (Angelina) just dropped the gun, right now!

Gail: Oh wow. . .

Terrance Jenkins: She dropped the gun on the floor. She’s on her hands and knees. She’s crawling up to Zack’s penis. He’s got his pants down. His penis is sticking out there. It’s shining!

Gail: Wow. . .that’s amazing. . .

Terrance Jenkins: She’s kneeling before his penis.

Gail: I can’t believe it.

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness. She’s moving in, she’s going to kiss the tip of his penis. . .

Gail: Angelina. Imagine that.

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, you fuck her up! Yeah!

Gail laughs.

Gail: You seem to be in pretty good spirits, Terrance, after what you’ve been through (laughs).

Terrance Jenkins: This is great. . .Oh, my goodness, her lips about to touch the tip of his penis. She leaning in all slow. She just touched it. OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, MY GOODNESS! As soon as her lips touched his penis, it fired off a laser bolt right through her head!

Gail: Oh, my goodness.

Terrance Jenkins: He shot his semen right through her brain!

Gail: Oh, my goodness!

Terrance Jenkins: She’s slouching over. She just died. She’s falling over dead. Zack Knight’s floating up in the air right now.

Gail: Oh, my goodness! THIS IS AMAZING.

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness. Zack just grabbed Rule 13. He just leaning back and he’s kissing her like really passionately. He just picked her up and swept her off her feet!

Gail: Aaaaah. . .that’s wonderful. ..

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness. Zack’s coming in back here. He’s got something to say!

Gail: Okay?

Zack Knight: Hey Gail.

Gail: Yeah!

Zack Knight: We did it, Gail!

Gail: Yes!! All the Jesuits are on our side now?

Zack Knight: Yeah, all those Jesuits are on our side right now!

Gail: WONDERFUL. . .So the war is over. . .

Zack Knight: The war is over, Gail!

Gail: Aaahh!

Zack Knight (ecstatic): I got something to announce. I got something to tell everyone!

Gail: Okay?

Zack Knight: I got an announcement to make, everybody.

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness, Gail. Zack Knight’s getting down on one knee.

Gail: AAAH! Oh my goodness (very happy).

Terrance Jenkins: He just pulled out a ring. It’s a ring for Rule 13!

Gail: Oooh! (claps) That’s wonderful!

Terrance Jenkins: I think he proposing.

Gail (claps again): That’s wonderful!

Zack Knight (to Rule 13): Rule 13, you have the world’s perfect body. You got the world’s tiniest breasts. Perfect little— like your vagina is so tight. I knew ever since I first saw, the first time I saw you, Rule 13. . .I knew what I wanted to do. . . Rule 13. . .will you marry me?

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness! She said, “Yes!”

Gail: Of course. I can’t hear her! I can only hear Zack!

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness. She said, “yes,” though. Oh, my God!

Gail: Of course, she’s going to say “yes”. She loves him!

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, she sure did. Oh, he’s kissing her again. Ah, I got to give them a hand (claps).

Gail: Aaaaah. (claps) Yeeeaaahh! That’s awesome. . .

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, this is awesome. Oh—Oh, my goodness. I think they’re going to get married, we’re going to – Zack! We’re going to invite everybody?

Zack Knight: Hell, yeah! I’m going to invite everybody! Hell, yeah! We’re going to invite everybody!

Gail: This is wonderful. . .

Zack Knight: Alright. Everybody’s invited! Jesuits! Church of Gail members! Everybody.

Gail: So, what happened to Loree McBride?

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, she died.

Gail: Oh, so only the good Jesuits are left.

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, I think there might be some good Loree McBrides. But the one, the bad one that had sex with Brent. She’s dead.

Gail: Aaaah, how did that happen? When the spaceship caught on fire?

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, when it crashed.

Gail: Aaaah. I sense Jesus is indirectly involved in all this.

Terrance Jenkins: Yeah, I think he made Zack’s penis.

Gail: That’s right

Terrance Jenkins: Oh, my goodness!

Zack Knight: Alright, Gail— the Church of Gail’s basically been destroyed. I think just the saucer section is left. I got a control panel here. I’m going to go ahead and direct the saucer section that got separated there. We’re going to fly you back to earth and we’re going to beam you back with that we’ve got left.

Gail: So earth didn’t get damaged at all?

Zack Knight: No, we saved earth, too.

Gail: Oh, that’s good. . .

Zack Knight: Yeah, this is great, Gail.

Gail: Yeah, this kind of reminds me of the GA1L Android, but better, because with the GA1L Android. . .you don’t remember this, because Jesus removed it from you, but everybody died first and then they got resurrected.

Zack Knight: Yeah, this is a lot better.

Gail: Yeah. . .it is a lot better. How many Jesuits have come over to our side today?

Zack Knight: All of them.

Gail: How many of them are out there?

Zack Knight: You know, there was just a sea of Jesuits. They’re all over the place. Millions and millions and millions.

Gail: So, they saw your penis and that did the trick.

Zack Knight: Yeah, you know (sighs), I was starting to lose faith in my penis, Gail, but I think now that they’ve seen it, and it’s glowing and it was just basically perfect. Yeah, it basically changed everyone’s minds. And Angelina Ballerina had to bow down and—

Angelina Ballerina was telling her followers that Zack really did not have a perfect penis.

Gail: I thought the Antichrist couldn’t be killed.

Zack Knight: You know what? Let me try something here. (pause) Okay, I just took a fork and stabbed myself in the leg, I barely feel it. I think I‘ve got my powers back.

Gail: You’re the Antichrist?

Zack Knight: How does that work?

Gail: Yeah, cuz you’re on Jesus’ side.

Zack Knight: I guess because we all converted, we still have the powers. Weird.

Gail: You all converted, so— You mean—

Zack Knight: The Jesuits are all on my side now. So they’re all Christians, for sure. You guys, everybody. Hey, Jesuits, everyone say the sinner’s prayer right now, okay? Yes, they’re doing it.

Gail: Do they know how to do it?

Zack Knight: Yeah, you can go ahead and lead them in the sinner’s prayer. Yeah.

Gail: All you need Jesuits is to say in your heart to Jesus that you know Jesus needed to die on the cross for your sins because he can only let perfection into heaven, because he wants a universe filled with love and forgiveness and vastness and hot sex, too. Just say, “Jesus, I admit that I’m a sinner so that you had to die on the cross for my sins and so that you could have a perfect universe, and I accept your plan over Satan’s. And I want to help you to make this a world of love, and hot sex, and commitment, and to be one of your children. . .and no longer to serve Satan. And thank you for dying on the cross for my sins, so that I can go to heaven and have hot sex forever in heaven. And thank you, Jesus, for not being a cockblocker . . .and we’re no longer going to serve Satan. We’re going to serve you. And thank you, Jesus, for Zack Knight’s perfect penis. . .(laughs)” All you have to say is, “I know you died for me because I’m not perfect. I have sin in my life and not because you’re haughty and better than all of us, but because you loved us, and we’re your children and now we want to belong to your fold and leave Satan’s fold and help you spread love and harmony in the universe. Amen.”

Zack Knight: Wow. Amen. I said that, too. And everyone else here said “Amen”. It was a big resounding chorus of Amens.

Gail: Hey, Jesus is all for hot sex, let me tell you. When he built my step dad’s home up in heaven, he had a special room with sex gadgets in it for my step dad and mother to make love.

Zack Knight: A whole sex room, huh?

Gail: Yeah! A whole sex room.

Zack Knight: Wow. That’s pretty hardcore.

Gail: Jesus is not a cockblocker. Satan lies to the Jesuits and tells them that Jesus is, but Jesus, he’s the hottest lover in the universe.

Zack Knight: Wow.

Gail: Believe me, I know that when I get his semen in the millennium, that’s going to be some experience.



[04/26/17 5:08:57 PM] Gail Schuler: Is it true that because of my Gail Shield that Loree McBride Jesuits are mostly operating from deep space, and she has to use automatons on earth?

[04/26/17 5:09:34 PM] Gail Schuler: I never asked anyone brain to brain about that.

[04/26/17 5:10:01 PM] Gail Schuler: Except for Donald Trump on my interview with him.


[04/26/17 5:10:34 PM] Gail Schuler: I guess it’s mostly protecting me.




As of Sept. 2, 2017 the Jesuit Order (now under the leadership of Loree McBride and her JEW CLONE partner in crime, the Brent Spiner CLONE) has rebelled against Zack Knight and cause untold suffering on earth, including orchestrating events like Hurricane Harvey which has devastated Texas. After the defeat of Angelina, some Jesuits who followed Angelina and were not at the final battle, have sided with evil clones Loree McBride and Brent Spiner CLONE, and have rebelled against Zack Knight (their previous leader). Zack Knight and the Jesuits who follow him and Gail are now called the Gail Chord Schuler Jesuits.

Copyright 2017 Gail Chord Schuler. All Rights Reserved.

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