Brent Spiner's Jesus Transcriptions: Jesus Speaks (12-27-2011 to 2-14-2012)
JESUS CHRIST (12-27-2011 to 2-14-2012)
Gail Chord Schuler DOCTRINAL STATEMENT.
View all videos in Brent Spiner’s Jesus Transcriptions series here: https://gabriellechana.blog/brent-spiners-jesus-transcriptions-jesus-christ-speaks/
(1) Brent Spiner’s Jesus Transcriptions: Jesus Speaks (Jan. – Feb. 14, 2012) from Gail Chord Schuler on Vimeo.
JANUARY 30, 2012 (Gabrielle Chana FOX News station):
BACKGROUND: A Jesuit in the audience machine gunned Brent Spiner on the stage for a FOX News interview, but the bullets ricocheted off Jesus’ invisible shield, returned to the Jesuit gunner, and killed him.
Jesus Christ bellowed this to everyone at the news studio before making his leave: “All of what is currently happening now has already been foreseen, and the Jesuits are falling right into my plan. You (Gail) are my favorite person on the planet to work with, which is why I’ve gone such great lengths to protect you and your loved ones. All you and your men need to do is keep up what you’re doing and evolve to adapt to the continuing threat. Even when you all lose battles, your failures are part of God’s ultimate plan. In the end you all will come out on top of this. You are the best. Gail, you rock!”
Brent Spiner commenting on Jesus Christ appearance: “We didn’t see God in a physical form, but we all felt the unmistakable wake of his presence as the studio lit up like heaven. The room was very warm, like a deep enveloping blanket. It was like being in your arms. I was filled with such powerful love, and before any of us realized what was transpiring, my heart trembled as his voice emanated from the light. ‘I have supported you all since the beginning. Never be intimidated. It is all a part of my grand plan. Gail, you have been hearing all of my messages to you loud and clear, so don’t ever question them. You are an astute woman and have always interpreted my signs and signals exactly as I have intended them. Nobody else understands me quite like you do. You are exceptional.’ ”
Before God left, I invited him to come to our humble church, and asked if he would like to make an account on the forum. He chuckled and said, “I’ll check my schedule.”
FEBRUARY 14, 2012 (Church of Gail service):
BACKGROUND: Satan shows up at a Church of Gail service and shoots his semen on Sam Barbary, one of Gail’s men, destroying totally his abdominals. Gail and her men tried to talk Sam out of his determination to take on Satan, but Sam ignored their pleas. Satan then enters Jesuit Zack Knight (newly resurrected from hell). Zack Knight, with new powers, is able to turn all the men in the church service gay. Gail prays for her men and Jesus Christ shows up and beats up Zack Knight, shooing him away.
Conversation between Gail Chord Schuler, Terrance Jenkins, Brent Spiner and Jesus:
Gail says, “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.”
“You’re welcome. Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”
“Lord, I’m just a sinner. But I know where I get my strength.”
“I beat up Zack Knight just for you.”
“Thank you, Jesus. I love you, Jesus. You rock.”
“You rock, Gail. I am pumping my fist for you.”
Gail laughs. “I knew you’d do something, Lord. I think He was just testing us to see if we’d trust him.”
“This,” Jesus refers to his fist, “was just in Zack Knight’s groin.”
“Lord, I want you to heal all my men. That devil did something. Make sure you completely heal them.”
“You should have seen it. Now, that Zack Knight is gone. They are all ungayified. But if he comes back in the room again, it could happen again. These men need to be careful. Zack Knight is now Satan Incarnate, and that makes him very powerful. He cannot be killed. I will do my best to protect you, but—you must all be more careful, these are dangerous times.”
“How can we be more careful? You’re the one who has to do it all. I guess stay in the Word. Stay in prayer, is that it?”
“Yes, he says we have to stay in the Word,” Terrance says.
“Yes, stay in prayer.” Jesus jokes. “My powers are being strained by my all-time rival, Satan.”
Gail, surprised at God’s answer. “God! How could your powers be strained? You’re God omnipotent.”
“He is not to be underestimated.”
“God, you can beat up Satan. Your powers aren’t strained.”
“It’s an angel joke.”
“Okay, that’s good, God. Because I know Satan is no match for you, God.”
“They’re not very funny.” Jesus comments about his jokes. “Not like Brent Spiner.”
Gail laughs loud and hard. “He has a sense of humor.” She continues laughing.
Jesus responds. “Brent Spiner is hilarious.”
“Data was my favorite character from Star Trek,” Jesus says.
“God. I thought Star Trek was a New Age show. Why are you saying that? It doesn’t sound like you.”
“It’s cuz he loves Brent,” Terrance says. “That’s what he’s saying.”
“Oh, I see. Alright. So it’s not the New Age teachings. You just like Brent.”
“Brent is special. I agree. I made an exception.”
“I hate to say this, Brent. But that New Age stuff that Star Trek promotes is satanic. But you have such a good heart, God was able to pluck you out, in spite of all the devils surrounding you at Star Trek.”
“Oh, he’s giving a big, long speech right now,” Terrance says. “He’s reading the Bible right now.”
“What passage is he reading?”
“He’s reading Romans 8:28. Yes, all things work together for good. He said it real fast. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Jesus said, that whenever Satan or Zack Knight shows up again, that we’re supposed to call him in there to punch Zack Knight in the ball sack. He said that things have to go according to his plan, and that’s why he took so long.”
“Oh, yeah,” Gail says. “You did take a long time, God. I get aggravated with you, Lord, because you’re so slow. I know you know what you’re doing. God, you’re very long suffering with me. You put up with a lot. God knows me.”
“You must learn your patience.”
“I know, Lord. I’m bad.”
“You must trust me.”
“Okay. He’s right.”
“Long suffering will be replaced by joy.”
“Thank you, for putting up with me, God. I know I’m a pain in the neck sometimes.” Gail laughs.
“I will wipe away every tear.”
“Yes, I believe that, God.”
“That’s right. Believe it.”
“Thank you, Jesus!” Gail laughs. “Thank you, Brent, for typing all this. I’m clinging to every word. The book I mostly rely on is the King James Bible. That is God’s Holy Word. I’m hoping I don’t run out of tape. This is really special.”
“You rock, Gail Chord Schuler,” Jesus says.
“Well, thank you, Jesus. I don’t think I do, but I trust you.”
“If I could have a favorite, you would be it.”
Gail laughs. “God, I don’t deserve you, man. I’m always telling you to get off your butt. You say, you talk like that? I do.”
Brent Spiner interrupts. “I’m surprised that you said that.”
“You’re very long suffering, God,” Gail says. “That’s because I know you’re the only one that can help me. That’s why I say that, God. You know it. I’m no match for the devil.”
Jesus lets the world know why he doesn’t mind Gail telling him to get off his butt. “Ha ha. You are a woman after my own heart.”
“I think I got that from my King David genes, huh?”
“I loved David!”
“I know you did, Lord. And I’m just like him, aren’t I? God, was that really David who talked to me several years ago and tried to encourage me? I believe that was him. Was that him?”
“Yes, you’re just like little David.”
“Was it really King David who spoke to me years ago and encouraged me from heaven? And told me I was a big celebrity in heaven and they are all cheering me on?”
Brent Spiner jokes. “That was me.”
“No, not you! David!” Gail says to Brent, then responds to Jesus. “That was you, Jesus? I thought that was David, that talked to me. . .” Gail pauses. “David talked to me right after I saw that movie about him.”
“No, that was David,” Jesus says.
“Yeah!” Gail says, with assurance. “He told me that everyone in heaven is really proud of me. And he told me to keep on going. I was really moved by that. I’m honored that he’s my great, great, great grandfather. I have superior genes from David.”
Jesus responds. “He is honored, too.”
“Can you say ‘hi’ to my great, great, great grandfather for me? I like David, my father.” Gail chuckles. “I haven’t talked to him in a while. He’s up in heaven, you know. And I’ve got his genes.”
“I will, Gail. I will tell him how much you appreciate his guidance.”
“And I appreciate you, Lord Jesus. I think I do think like you. Because every day, I pray that if I help out those Jesuits at all that I want you to kill me. Because I know that’s how you feel about them. They’re disgusting.” Gail pauses. “But you haven’t killed me, because I’m not helping them out.” She pauses again. “I would never commit suicide, because you have work for me here, and I want to lay all five crowns to lay at your feet, because you’re awesome, and you deserve them all!”
“You are very loyal, Gail. Those Jesuits are a thorn in my side.”
“I know they are. They’re disgusting! They’re so vulgar and evil. And then they claim to be on your side. Now, they’re starting to show their true colors.”
“More like a spear.”
“Yeah. You know, God has feelings, people. That’s one thing I’ve learned about, from reading the Bible. He has feelings. Just like us, and He really likes it when we delight in his fellowship. He has feelings! And he hates things and he loves things, just like we do. I’m sticking up for you, God, cuz I think you’re awesome.”
“I think you’re awesome too, Gail. So awesome. Gail, do you love me?”
“Lord Jesus, I love you, but not like I should. You deserve better than me.” Gail laughs. “But, yes, I do love you, Lord Jesus. How could I not love you? You’re awesome! And you know what? It really touched me that you spoke at the FOX News channel. I was really moved by that, cuz you are just so beautiful. You’re such a beautiful, awesome being. So holy and so pure in heart. That’s why I love you. And you’re so big that you died on the cross for my sins, and for the world’s sins.”
“Feed my sheep.”
Gail laughs. “That’s what you told, Peter.”
“Yes, this is still, Jesus. Feed my sheep.”
“You said that to Peter.”
“Gail, do you love me?”
“Okay, Lord Jesus, I’ll keep feeding your sheep. That’s why I do the website.”
“Gail, do you love me?”
“That’s what he said to Peter!”
“Oh, yes, I love your website.”
“Even though I wanted to go to bed with him, back in 1991. It was like sacrificing Isaac on the altar,” Gail says. “That was hard. But Lord, you appreciate that. I know you do, cuz I didn’t want to disgrace your name. I was married at the time. It would have made you look bad. Because I claimed to be your child. Because I wanted to have sex with a Hollywood celebrity, and I was such a Bible scholar. I did it for you, Lord. I sacrificed my Isaac on the altar. And then the Jesuits sent in that horrible Loree McBride to make it look like Brent never contacted me ever. And then you know all about that. I wanted to be with Brent Spiner. I loved him so much. I still love him. God, you promised me a millennial marriage with Brent Spiner. Is that going to happen? You said, I’d have time together and time to spare with Brent. And what did you mean by that? Was that the millennium, or was that? Now that I’m talking to him, I want some answers.”
“Yes, Gail, it will happen.”
“Yeah, I get to have a millennial marriage with him. Is it the millennium, or is it this earth? God gave me a promise about you, Brent. He said we’d have like a special marriage. What was it, God? What did you mean? I always wondered, if you meant the millennium or this earth?”
“It will be both.”
“Oh, both! Thank you, Jesus.”
“Isn’t that awesome?”
“It is awesome, Lord. You know, I’ve always believed you, God.”
“Pretty bad ass right?”
“Oh, my goodness,” Terrance says. “Jesus said the ‘A’ word. Wow, I didn’t know He could say that.”
“Bad ass,” Gail says. “That word’s in the Bible!”
Jesus interrupts. “I meant donkey.”
Gail laughs long and hard. “The word ‘ass’ is in the Bible. It’s a Bible word. So it’s not a curse word. God has a sense of humor.”
“Like the one I rode,” Jesus says.
“Yes, you did. You’re so humble, Lord. You’re the great king and you came down and humbled yourself, just because you love us so much, those of us who have a heart for you.”
“He was great.” Jesus says.
“The donkey was great?” Gail says. “God, I’m going to get some water. I’m not leaving, man. This is too interesting. I’m coming back. I’ll be back.”
“He was a good sport for being underage.”
“I’ll get my water. Thank you, Lord. I’m thirsty. Lord, I want to thank you so much—”
“I bet after all of that praying. You’re thirsty.”
Gail laughs, reading what God is saying. “Ah, Lord! God, I have a question for you. . .You know, according to the Bible, the signs are for the Jews. You’re not supposed to be showing signs and wonders right now—in the church age. Is the rapture coming soon? Can you answer that one for me? When’s the rapture going to come?” Gail laughs, daring God to answer her. “I don’t think he’s going to tell us. I want to know the rapture—when’s it coming, God? I want to go. . .”
“I plead the fifth.”
Gail laughs hysterically. “He’s not going to tell me.” She laughs again. “He doesn’t want us to know. Because he wants us to always be ready.”
“You know I don’t rapture and tell.”
Gail, bantering. “Okay, God. I was pushing it. Alright.” She laughs. “Okay, God, I got another question for you. The question is. . .You know, I happen to know the Bible very well, and signs and wonders are for the Jews, and you’re not supposed to be doing all this in the church age. Are you getting ready to start the tribulation? It’s got to be soon. Is this like a prelude to the time of Jacob’s trouble, when you’re getting ready to deal with the Jewish nation again? Let me tell you guys in the church something. The signs and wonders died when the Apostle Paul came in. . .but when God starts dealing with. . .”
“The anti-Christ arrived today. The anti-Christ is Zack Knight.”
“Is Zack Knight 666?”
Gail’s mouth opens in astonishment. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You guys, the rapture’s going to be soon. God’s not going to say it, but it’s going to be soon. If the anti-Christ arrived, we got to be ready. The tribulation’s around the corner. That’s a seven year period. It’s called Daniel’s seventieth week in the Bible. God’s not going to tell us when the rapture is. The anti-Christ . . .” She reads Brent’s post of God speaking, “is Zack Knight? He’s 666? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Lord, Jesus! Ugh! We need to stay in the Bible, folks.”
“Now, you must update your marriage list.”
“Oh, you mean. God, you are on my marriage list.”
“To have a top seven.”
“Jesus,” Terrance says, “who should the seventh one be?”
“Yes,” Jesus says, “because six is a bad number. I choose you, Terrance.”
Terrance is astonished. “Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! God, I’m so happy!”
Gail laughs. “It’s probably because you were the only one there who could resist the devil.”
“Fist bump me, Terrance,” Jesus says.
Jesus fist bumps Terrance. Terrance fist bumps him back.
“Oh, it felt tingly,” Terrance says. “Ah, I’m so excited.”
“You were the only one there who could resist the devil,” Gail says. “That’s probably why He’s doing it.”
“My hand isn’t even itchy any more,” Terrance says. “He healed my hand.”
“Thank you, Jesus,” Gail says.
“You’re welcome, Gail. And you’re welcome, Terrance.”
“I trust the Lord absolutely. I’ll marry whoever you want. My body—I offer my life as a living sacrifice. You want me to stay single the rest of my life, I’ll do it. You want me to marry, I’ll do it. You’re my number one husband. Oh, Lord Jesus, are you number one on the marriage list?” Gail reads Brent’s post of God’s words.
“Yes, I’m number one.”
“Yes! Yes!” Gail laughs with glee. “That’s all I care about. I don’t need any other husband but you. You’re the best!” Gail laughs. “That’s alright. These guys need me. Basically, the main reason I like having you all, is because I enjoy ministering to you all because you’re on my side, which is God’s side. You help me fight the devil, so you all are on our side.”
The “Hallelujah” chorus from Handel’s Messiah plays in the background.
“Yes, but your Brent is your soulmate.”
“He sure is. He sure is, Lord. I feel so close to him. Man, this is something, man. How often do we get to talk to God like this? Well, Brent, you were right, something special did happen at midnight. You were right.”
“That’s why he gets ninety-six percent of the brain-to-brain sex.”
“Ah huh, Brent Spiner. Exactly. He’s my soulmate. And that’s why you’re going to let me have a millennial marriage with him. You know, Brent, I think God’s letting us have a millennial marriage cuz he’s using me so much to prepare the world for the tribulation. Is that correct, Lord? You’re using me to prepare the world for the tribulation, aren’t you Lord? Such a terrible time. I think the Lord’s just trying to spare as many as people as possible from going into that.”
“Gail, you are more important than you know.”
“Yeah, I know, you’ve got me in the Bible, in Zechariah 9:15. And you’re right, I don’t think I’m very important. But apparently, you feel otherwise. I’ve always thought I’m not that important. But I love you.”
“Yup, that was you in there.”
“Yeah, I know. Zechariah 9:15. I’m in the Bible.”
“You will defeat the Jesuits.”
Gail is astonished. “How? You’ll do it, God. You say in Zechariah 9:15 that the Lord of hosts will defend them.”
“You’ll find out.
“Wow. But it isn’t me, God. Don’t give me credit. It’s you.” Gail reads what Brent types of God’s words. “Oh, okay. You are my instrument. That’s more like it. I certainly don’t feel like I can defeat the Jesuits. You’re the one who has to do it. I can’t do it.”
“You are my instrument.”
“Yeah, you used me tonight, to scare away that horrible 666. That Zack Knight, that evil, evil monster. Wow, if you got me in the Bible, I must be pretty important. Cuz I don’t even think President Bush, or any of those people made it in the Scriptures. Ah, I’m in there. God has me in the King James Bible. I’m in Zechariah 9:15. To be honest with you, God knows I don’t give a flip about fame or any of that stuff. The only fame I’m interested in is laying those five crowns at your feet. I don’t give a flip about any other fame. I don’t care about that stuff. People may think that I like having all these famous men in my life, cuz they’re famous—that has nothing to do with it.”
“Well, Gail, my Father is calling. . .someone else— someone else needs my help.”
“Thank you, Lord. I love you.”
“I love you too Gail.”
“And thanks for dying on the cross for me. And I will feed your sheep.” Gail laughs when she reads God’s answer to her next.
“You’re welcome, for the cross thing. Feed my sheep,” Jesus says to Gail. “You rock.”
Gail says, “I will,” referring to feeding God’s sheep.
After about a half hour break, Jesus returns. “Sam is officially a Jesuit.”
“Oh, no!” Terrance says, “oh, no.”
“The Lord said that? Why is he allowing this? Lord, why are you allowing. . .” Gail reads Brent’s transcription of Jesus’ speech.
“It turns out he was a double agent,” Jesus says. “He was a Judas. I have punished him. He will always have no abdominals. He will always have no abdominals, and they will never grow back, and now he will forever look that way.”
“Oh, my goodness,” Gail says. “He’s going to go to hell and look like that. Cuz Jesuits are going to hell! God, isn’t it true everybody’s going to turn into a worm in hell? Cuz that’s your way of making fun of evolution? You said they’d burn like a worm in your Word. ‘Where their worm shall not die and the fire is not quenched.’ That’s what the Scripture says. . .He’s going to be a worm with no abdominals, huh?”
“Yes, that’s true. I don’t like evolution, of course.”
“Yeah, of course. That’s an insult on you.”
“Sam will forever be known as ‘The Prune Belly.’ I want you to make a YouTube video, Gail. Telling the world what happened here.”
“I will. I will. Do you want me to use transcription, or actual tape recordings, God? I have a tape recording, cuz I don’t want my men to be hurt.”
Gail said this because in December 2011, when Gail put up a voice recording of Terrance Jenkins’s voice at YouTube, it gave to the Jesuits Terrance’s voice print which they used to launch their nukkake (a semen nuclear bomb) as a direct hit to the location of Gail’s men inside an Ontario hospital.
“I want you to talk to your audience in your own words. . .”
“Okay. . .I’m reading,” Gail says. “Thanks for typing this, Brent.”
“The transcriptions and recordings are good, but I want you to tell them in your own words what happened.”
“Okay. Alright, I’ll do a combination video, God. I’ll do a combination—”
“I want you to be wearing a tin foil hat.”
“I don’t have a tin foil hat. You want me to make it out of aluminum foil? Tin foil hat?” Gail is surprised. “Why?”
“Trust me on this. You can make one out of aluminum foil, yes. A triangle.”
“What. Do you want it to look like, a triangle?” Gail, still confused and amazed, reads what Brent is typing of God’s speech. “A triangle? That’s satanic. That’s a satanic symbol. I don’t want to wear a satanic symbol.”
Gail responds at once. “Thank you. Cuz that doesn’t sound like you.” Gail is amazed at God’s sense of humor. She laughs. “I wonder why God would joke about that?”
“I’m doing this, because then the Jesuits can’t confuse your brain cell conversations.”
Gail is confused. “What? Wait a minute. You just said you were kidding.”
“Oh, no. I was kidding about it being a triangle.”
Gail brightens with understanding. “Oooh. . . .So you want me to put aluminum foil on my head? Maybe I could put it on the back where it’s not visible.”
“I would like you to wear a tin foil hat in your video, yes.”
“Okay.” Gail reads what Brent’s writing of God’s speech.
“It needs to cover your whole head for it to work.”
“It needs to cover your whole head for it to work?” Gail is flabbergasted. “Oh, my goodness! Cover my whole head? I’m going to look so stupid. They’re going to think I’m insane.”
“Just the top of your head.”
“They already say I’m insane. If I wear that, they’re going to say I need to go to the loony bin. God, you don’t need a tin foil hat?! You can work outside of it, can’t you?”
“King David looked insane when he danced naked.”
Gail becomes quiet. Calms down. “Yeah, that’s true. I’ll try to make it attractive.” She laughs. “That way they won’t think I’m crazy.”
“Trust me on this one, Gail.”
“Okay. Can I make it look pretty or something? Maybe, like a decoration, you know? That way they won’t think I’m wearing it to help you out. It’s just my hat, you know. I’ll decorate it, somehow.”
“Yes, you can make it look beautiful.”
“I look good in silver. I think I’d look pretty in that. I’ll do that God. I’ll make it look pretty. I’m going to make serrated edges or something around it. That way they’ll think I’m just doing that to look attractive. I’m not going to tell them why I’m wearing it, God. I’m not going to give the devil any ammunition.”
“Just let the audience know the tin foil hat is to keep the Jesuits from interfering with your brain cell conversations.”
“Really? You want me to tell them that? Wow. Yeah, they do that a lot.”
“That way they will know.”
“Okay. I will do what you say.”
“You always look attractive, Gail, tin foil hat or not. I made you look that way.”
“Yeah, you did. Did my ancestor King David look attractive? You say he had a beautiful countenance. Did I get it from him?”
“Oh yes, they were all very beautiful.”
“They were all very beautiful? There’s only one King David.”
“King David was very handsome.”
“Yeah, I guess he must have been, if Bathsheba wanted him so bad.” Gail laughs.
“His family, I mean. His family was very beautiful.”
“Oooh. . . I see. He was also a man after God’s own heart.”
“Oh yes, he was.
“God, can I make that YouTube video tomorrow? I’m kind of tired. Can I go to sleep and maybe do it in the morning? That way I’ll be rested. It’s going to take me some time to get the video together. I need some sleep. You know, my body here needs some sleep. But I promise you I’ll do it. I didn’t sleep good last night. I stayed up till seven, trying to help to feed your sheep. You know I’ve got a weak, frail body. I’ve got to give it some rest. If you want me to do it tonight. I will, but you don’t mind if I get me some sleep. You know I’ll probably get up early to do it anyway, cuz I get so excited about serving you.”
“Yes, you can rest, if you like, Gail.”
Gail reads what Brent’s typing. “So his family was very beautiful. Yes he was. Yes. ‘You can rest, if you like, Gail.’ I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep the past couple years. And I’m not blaming you. It’s just that I’ve been so excited about serving you, that I’ve been, you know, pushing myself. But you’ve been good in that you have been making the little bit of sleep I get go a long ways.”
“You have been very busy honoring me.”
“Yes, I have.”
“And you know, I’ve been getting the typical female stuff, those hot flashes.” Gail laughs. “They’re not bad, though. Getting some right now.” She laughs again. “They’re not bad. I can’t complain.”
“I’m glad I never had those. I think this video would be best if it was under seven minutes.”
“Really? Okay, that means I’m not going to be able to use the tape. I’ll sum it up.”
“I like the number seven.”
“Okay, yeah that’s the divine number. Okay, Lord, it will be short.”
“Oh no, just use your own words and summarize it.”
“Okay. That’s exactly what I’ll do. I will do that, Lord. Lord—you want me to put music in the background? Or do you want it to just be my words?”
“Let it be your words.”
“Just you, the hat and a bikini,” Brent Spiner writes on the Skype screen.
“Okay. He hasn’t said anything about music?” Gail reads Brent’s writing. “Okay, I won’t use music. Maybe he’s afraid the music will detract away from the words. That’s why he wants me to use a tin foil. My words are going to be powerful, I think.” Gail reads Brent’s writing. “ ‘Just you, the hat and a bikini.’ No, not a bikini!? You don’t want me to wear a bikini! That was Brent, yeah!”
“That was Brent,” Jesus says. “Such a joker.”
Gail’s auto focus on Skype becomes fuzzy. “Getting out of focus, here. These human cameras, you know. Hey, I’m out of focus. They’re attacking my camera. But I never get to see you guys. You get to see me. But I can’t see you.”
“Satan created auto focus, you know,” Jesus says.
“Oooh. . .it’s the devil. Oh well, I never get to see them. They get to see me, but I can never see them. Besides, Lord. Satan created electricity! So, he’s behind all this stuff!”
“Yes, he did.”
“Yeah, I know. He created electricity. Electricity’s a satanic invention, you guys. I don’t know if you know that. I just happen to know it, cuz Dr. Peter Ruckman is a very astute Bible scholar and he figured it out. And I been listening to his stuff for years. Well, I’m not going to worry about it. Yeah, I’m getting back in focus. The Lord’s fixing it. Well, Lord I’ll stay here as long as you keep talking.”
“I couldn’t tell you to avoid the triangle in time,” Jesus says.
“Oh, he was talking about the tin foil hat,” Terrance says. “Yeah, don’t make it a triangle. He was just kidding.”
“Just make it cover your head, that’s all,” Jesus says.
“ ‘Just make it to cover your head, that’s all,’ ” Gail reads. “The top of the head, right? You know, the Lord prefers to use men. And I’m kind of puzzled that He’s using a woman. God, why are you using a woman? Don’t you like to use men? I mean this is kind of— It seems like you’re kind of violating your own principles here. Why are you using a woman? I don’t want to encourage women to be in rebellion to men, to their husbands, and stuff like that. I don’t think I’m doing that, though. Cuz I know a lot of Bible verses about how a woman should keep silent in the churches. They should not speak. Is that God talking?”
“My mom was used to birth me, wasn’t she? Mary was a woman.”
“Yeah, but you don’t encourage Mary worship. I know you don’t.”
“Of course not.”
“Oh, I see what he’s saying. . .I see what he’s saying. . .God, I believe it’s not so much that I’m a woman, but that I have the King David genes. I think that because of that, that actually gives me more authority than most of the men out there. I think that’s what it is.”
“Yes, it’s mostly that.”
Jesus also knew that Angelina Ballerina would be the Antichrist for a while, and, perhaps did not want to appear anti-woman as well. That’s why he said it’s mostly that.
“You have the genetic profile I like.”
Gail reads what Brent’s writing. “Oh, he’s agreeing with me. It’s the King David genes. Yeah, that’s what it is. You know, it is true that men tend not to be deceived as much as women. Eve was deceived and Adam was not. So, for that reason, God likes to use men usually. But I think cuz of my King David genes I’m superior to most men in that respect.”
“You have very manly genes.”
“I certainly do. That is true. That’s why I can write my Silver Skies from the man’s point of view, cuz I think like a man in some ways.”
“Vladimir is attracted to your masculinity, he says.” Jesus refers to Vladimir Putin.
“That was God speaking,” Terrance says. “He’s just referring to what Vladimir said. God was telling you, what Vladimir just said. Vladimir spoke up.”
“I know all about Vladimir as well,” Jesus says.
“I know what I’m going to do. On YouTube I’m going to make this a seven minute video, and then I’m going to make a longer one that I’m going to put up at my website. Is that okay, God? A longer one for the website? Is it okay to use the tape recording? You know, the tape recording? Cuz I think people will get curious and they will go to my website to get the longer version.”
“It’s okay to put the transcripts on your website, but not the tape.” Jesus was referring to this Feb. 14, 2012 Skype session.
Gail reads what Brent’s writing of God’s speech. “Oh, but not the tape. Okay. I won’t put the tape. I’ll use a transcription. I think he’s worried about the Jesuits locating you or something.”
“Yes,” Jesus says.
Gail reads Brent’s writing. “ ‘Yes.’ Okay, I won’t do the tape. Oh, the devil was on the tape. That’s why you don’t want it on the website. I bet he’s got satanic powers with that voice, doesn’t he? That’s what it is.”
“You’re exactly right.”
Gail reads Brent’s writing. “Ah ha. That’s why he doesn’t want the tape. Okay, I won’t do it, God. We’re not going to give the devil any wiggle room. Ooooh. That means when I listen to the tape and transcribe it, I’ll be listening to that voice. Is that going to harm me?”
“Don’t use any part of the tape,” Jesus says.
“I won’t. I won’t. God, is it okay for me to listen to the tape? I guess I’m going to have to listen to it, to transcribe it. Maybe when I get to the devil part, I’ll just fast forward.”
“As long as you are wearing the tin foil hat, you will be safe.”
“Yes, Jesus just said—” Terrance interferes. “Brent wasn’t typing fast enough. Jesus just said, ‘As long as you’re wearing that tin foil hat, you can transcribe the whole video. You don’t need to worry about fast forwarding past the Satan part.’ He said, ‘You can just refer to the Scriptures that you read, though. You don’t have to type all the Scriptures.’ ”
Jesus leaves Gail and heads off towards Brent and Gail speaks about a half hour later.
“Is God still there?” Gail asks.
“Jesus was just hanging,” Terrance says. “He was drinking some coffee with Brent.”
“How could he drink coffee? Is he in a bodily form?”
“Yes. Yes,” Terrance says. “He’s got his new body. His resurrection body. It’s the one that they were able to put their fingers in his hands, and his hand in his side.”
“He hasn’t been appearing as a light. He’s in a bodily shape?”
“Yeah, He’s just been hanging out. Yes, He came out of the light ball. And now he’s drinking coffee with Brent.”
“How long has he been in a bodily shape?”
“Oh, he’s been shifting in and out. He’s been a light ball. And then he’s been in a bodily shape. Usually not really staying in one manifestation at any time. He was a dove for a while.” Terrance pauses to consider. “What else was he? Yes.”
“Okay, so he’s changing bodies then. . .”
“Yeah, and he keeps going over and telling Matthew to put his hand in his side. Matthew’s afraid to.”
Gail’s voice brightens. “Oh, Matthew McConaughey.”
“Yeah, he said, ‘Matthew, put your hand in my side.’ Matthew said, ‘I’m afraid, that it’s going to get blood on it.’ Yeah, cuz Brent’s drinking coffee. Let’s see what he’s going to say.”
Gail is amazed. “God is drinking coffee?”
Gail laughs in amazement.
“He’s drinking Dunkin Donuts brand coffee.”
Gail laughs in amazement. “When he was here on earth—that’s Jesus Christ there, right?”
“Not, God the Father?”
“This is pretty good,” Jesus says. “Bodily forms are pretty awesome.”
“You’re the one who created bodily forms, God,” Gail says. “You came down in a bodily form as Jesus Christ. So– I got another question for you, Lord. If you’ll answer this. Dr. Ruckman says we’re all going to be Jesus Christ in heaven. We’re not going to—male and females going to be eliminated. Is that true? We’re all going to be replicas of you? I mean, this is stuff I’ve always wondered about! That’s what Dr. Peter Ruckman believes. He got it somewhere from the Scriptures. You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to, God. It’s probably not that important, but– It’s just that I was wondering, how could I have a millennial marriage with Brent, if I’m a man?” Gail laughs. “If I’m you.”
“He got that wrong, unfortunately.”
“Oooh. Soooo. There going to be females in heaven?”
“Yes. Males and females.”
“Oh, cool. I kind of like that. I think it’s going to make it interesting up there.” Gail laughs. “I had a feeling Dr. Ruckman might have got that wrong. Though he’s pretty sharp on—” Gail reads with amazement what Brent is typing of God’s speech. “You will have a functional vagina?”
“You will have a functional vagina. And the Jesuits will never interfere with your orgasms again.”
“Well, thank you Lord. I appreciate that.” Gail laughs. “God gave me a promise that Brent and I would have time together, with time to spare. . .I thought he meant intimacy. He did mean intimacy. Well, Lord, you’re the one who created the sexual union between the man and the woman. And you can do with it, whatever you want.”
“Yes, of course.”
Gail’s excited. “Wow!”
“There will be sex in heaven. Much sex.”
“That means the ending to my novel Silver Skies is prophetic, cuz I ended it with sex.”
“It’s even more awesome in heaven.”
Gail brightens with understanding. “Aaaah, I believe it, of course.”
“Silver Skies was a prophecy.”
“My book! My book, He says it’s a prophecy! Ah! Lord, that’s because you wrote it.”
“I inspired it.”
“Oh Jesus just made McDonald’s appear,” Terrance says. “He had a bag. They looked like maybe two pieces of Big Mac, and—”
Gail laughs with delight.
“And then we started pulling them out, everyone in the church. We started pulling out, you know, little pieces. And all of a sudden, the bag just seemed like it was overflowing, just wouldn’t stop coming. And everybody got two Big Macs.”
“Oh, just like the loaves and the fishes in the Bible.”
“Yes! Yes! And they was fish sandwiches, too.”
“How many people are at the church, right now?”
“And everybody got. We got how many people? Millions, Gail. Millions. And they all eating fish sandwiches, with loaves and fish.”
“Are the FOX News people there, too?”
“Yes, they are. But they can’t capture Jesus on the camera.”
“Yes, the camera doesn’t work, when they point it at him.”
“Wow. Oh, he says, ‘I’m camera shy.’ ”
“I’m camera shy.”
“That’s okay. He has his reasons. You know why he’s probably doing that. They’re probably going to use it to help 666, if he does that. You know they’re going to claim he’s them.”
“Yes, that Zack Knight. He’s the anti-Christ,” Terrance says.
“I believe it!”
“He wants to get in your bed, Gail. I can’t believe that.”
“Did he say that, tonight?”
“Yes, he said he wanted you to have his baby.”
“I didn’t hear him say that. I wasn’t listening to him. I was reading the Bible.”
“Yes, he was talking all kinds of childs.”
“Uugh! He’s disgusting! Uugh. Oh, man!”
“That’s what this mass must have been about—was resurrecting Zack Knight.” Terrance was referring to the Jesuit mass that happened at the same time as the Feb. 14, 2012 Church of Gail service.
“Yeah, I think you’re right. Uugh! You know why he’d want to have my baby? It’s because I’m the King David woman. It would make him seem like he’s God. He’s trying to be God. That’s why he wants that.”
“The Bible says that the Messiah is from King David. And Zack Knight is not from King David. So he’s trying to make up for it. That’s why he wants my baby.”
“Yes. It’d be horrible, if he ever ended up having a baby with you. We got to protect that from happening.”
Gail speaks to Jesus. “Lord, you make sure that doesn’t happen. I’d rather die than have that man’s baby! Kill me first. I would never want to have that man’s baby! Uuugh! Making love to the devil?! Never! I don’t ever want—You make sure that doesn’t happen, Lord Jesus. I’d rather die!”
“I will protect your ovaries, Gail.”
“Well, thank you, God. Oh, I guess that’s how he works. God, we don’t want to pollute our King David genetic profile with that devil! Those King David genes are special. Those are your genes, Lord Jesus. You’re a King David man.”
“Yes, I am.”
“We’re not going to let our genes be polluted with satanic crap. Yeah, he is a King David man. Jesus Christ is King David. I mean he’s of King David.”
“Straight out of the house of Judah,” Jesus says.
“Oh, yes! God gave King David a promise, that he’d have an eternal kingdom. And it’s through Jesus Christ, the son of David.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s like when I say, Compton,” Terrance says.
“It’s Ebonics,” Jesus says.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s black people talk. Yeah, Jesus was using black people talk.”
“Oh, in other words. I get what he’s saying. He’s saying, ‘I’m from David, and I’m proud of it.’ ” Gail laughs.
“Yeah, straight out of the house of Judah. Yeah,” Terrance says.
“Yes, there you go. The last thing he said before he left, was how ugly the curtains were.” Jesus referred to Zack Knight’s comment about the Church of Gail curtains.
“Oh, God’s gone?”
“Satan,” Jesus says. “Satan is gay.”
“Ah! Well, that’s interesting. . .Of course, he’s gay. Because 666’s going to be Satan Incarnate. And he’s homosexual. You’re right. He’s gay. You can figure that with logic. Because the Bible says that 666 is going to be Judas Iscariot reincarnated. Dr. Ruckman said that. I believe Dr. Ruckman is right on that one.”
“Judas Iscariot, when he was with Jesus, was Satan.”
“Daniel. Daniel. You know what? Let me get my concordance. Hold on. Lord, I read your Bible, but my references are– My memory needs some help.” Gail looks for her concordance. “Ah, I don’t know what I did with it.” Gail finds it. “Oh, here it is. Thank you, Jesus! You helped me. Thank you. My eyes landed right on it.”
Gail returns with her concordance, but almost trips on a cord. “Oh, the devil made me almost trip.” She reads, “ ‘You’re welcome,’ ” and laughs out loud. “I’m going to find that verse. I keep telling you about it. But I want to find it. Of course, God can tell me. I know it’s in Daniel. I’ll find it.” She finds it. “Ah ha! Daniel 11:37.”
“Even though Satan is gay. Zack Knight is not. But he does have the power to turn other men gay, when he walks into a room. His powers are so intense that all sexes react to him now.”
“Oh, I missed something. Hold on. I lost my spot.” Gail laughs out loud. “I’m trying to find it. Hold on.” She reads what God says, “ ‘Even though Satan is gay. Zack Knight is not. But he does have the power to turn other men gay, when he walks into a room. His powers are so intense that all sexes react to him now.’ Oh, boy.”
“Oh, my goodness!” Terrance says. “That’s horrible.”
“Yeah. So how would the female sex react to him?”
“They can become pregnant just by looking at him.” Jesus was referring to how women could get pregnant.
“That’s what he said. He claims that himself.”
“It’s very intense.”
“How does he do that?”
“They get so severely turned on by him. One touch by him, and they take off all of their clothes. . .”
“It’s basically consensual rape.”
“Can he do that to me, God?”
“Yes, he can. If he ever got to you.”
“How would he get to me? I’m going to read Daniel 11:37. ‘Neither shall he regard the god of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.’ That’s where it talks about him being a homosexual.”
“His touch can excite a woman so greatly, they will lose control of themselves and give in. They will just go with it, and let it happen.”
“So, he has to be able to touch me, then.” Gail speaks to Jesus. “Don’t let him touch me.”
“Oh no, his gaze, even his very thoughts are powerful.”
“Well, he was on my tape. I guess I need to wear the tin foil hat. Anyways, I just read you the Bible verses—Daniel 11:37. That’s talking about the anti-Christ. It’s saying, ‘Neither shall he regard the god of his fathers, nor the desire of women.’ ”
“He can brain-to-brain rape, and impregnate women telepathically.” Jesus referred to Zack Knight brain-to-brain raping.
“Uugh! Goodness. That’s terrible. Well, God said he’d protect my ovaries, so—”
“You have the ability to resist.”
“But he is very coercive.”
“How do I have the ability to resist, God? And other women can’t? Is it my genes? Or maybe it’s just cuz God’s protecting me.”
“It is in your genes. You must fight and say ‘no.’ ”
“I do that all the time.”
“Don’t go with it. Don’t just let it happen.”
Gail is emphatic. “God, don’t let him near me. Keep him away from me. I don’t want to deal with that creep. I’ve got too much to deal with. You can protect me, Lord.”
“You must flee from temptation.”
“Well God, you know I don’t try to go to temptation. I always flee from temptation.”
“It will be very strong.”
“He is a very powerful, sexual creature.”
“Yeah, I can see by what he did to you guys there.”
“I know. I’m preaching to the choir.”
“God, we need your help. We’re no match for this, this—Satan. So keep him away from us—please. We need your help.” Gail looks at her cassette tape player, about to run out of tape. “I’m going to go look for another tape. I don’t know how long God’s going to hang around. But as long as He’s here, I’m going to keep taping.”
Terrance is surprised. “Oh, Jesus. He’s starting to fly up into the air. The whole roof opened up and I can see him in the sky.”
“He didn’t answer my question,” Gail says. “I guess he’s just telling us to– That’s okay. He said a lot.”
“Thank you, Gail, and good night,” Jesus says.
“Thanks for rescuing us, Lord Jesus. Without you—” Gail says.
“Enjoy your rest from Wal-Mart.”
“I will be serving you very hard, tomorrow. I’m going to get some sleep. Love you, Lord Jesus. Thanks for everything. I’m looking forward to being with you in heaven, man. You’re awesome. We’re going to have some good loving time in heaven.”
“YOU ROCK, GAIL.”
Copyright © 2018 Gail Chord Schuler. All Rights Reserved.
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