Bible for Tribulation Saints (Save the Cat! ANALYSIS)
ANALYSIS OF A BOX OFFICE HIT BASED ON BIBLE FOR TRIBULATION SAINTS, A TELEVISION SERIES THAT IS BREAKING ALL THE RECORDS IN THE RATINGS
In this ensemble cast of characters, Antichrist Zack Knight is the main actor most greatly affected by the villain Satan. Zack’s actions and reactions drive most of the plot. His inner journey manifests the theme that love is all that matters. Satan is Zack’s greatest enemy because he opposes Zack’s love for Rule 13. But, like Zack, Satan feels God is unfair and kind of stupid in running the universe. The Jesuit Order under Zack serve him to the death, though some question Satan’s requirement that Jesuits cannot have true love in their lives. Gail Chord Schuler, Jesus Christ’s favorite, and her men absolutely cannot side with Zack while he opposes true love. Though Jesus Christ punishes Zack when he attempts to seduce Gail, Jesus also tells Gail that he loves Zack and that Zack has a lot of misconceptions about him. At Zack Knight’s darkest moment, when he feels his true love Rule 13 is dead (though she is alive), Gail realizes that Satan and Angelina Ballerina lied to him saying Rule 13 is dead when she was alive. Gail confronts Zack with the truth of their betrayal, and leads him to Jesus, giving him a way out when things seemed hopeless. How Jesus Christ was able to use Gail to transform the Antichrist into a leader on Jesus Christ’s side is a deep exploration of the heart of all who yearn to find acceptance with God as hopeless sinners.
Gail analyzes God’s Bible for Tribulation Saints, and how God set up the character archetypes in this true story:
Protagonist: Zack Knight
Sidekick: Gail’s men and Zack Knight Jesuits
Skeptic: Brent Spiner clone
Guardian: Gail Chord Schuler, Rule 13 & Jesus Christ
Contagonist: Angelina Ballerina & Loree McBride
Reason: Brent Spiner & Jesus Christ
Emotion: Rule 13
Love Interest: Rule 13
Bible for Tribulation Saints falls into the Superhero genre of Blake Snyder’s TEN CATEGORIES OF STORIES, with Zack Knight the main superhero in the story, other superheroes are mirrors of him: Empress Gail, Jesus Christ, Satan, etc.
WARNING: There are spoilers in the following summary, but as this is history, you may already know about it any ways. God set up the events of history, so that writing about what happened (Bible for Tribulation Saints) results in a literary masterpiece and a movie masterpiece, because Blake Snyder’s Beat Sheet is for screenplays. Apparently, Jesus, the author of Bible for Tribulation Saints, knew how to author a book that would break all the ratings records at the box office.
The Blake Snyder Beat Sheet for Bible for Tribulation Saints (God’s Masterpiece):
Opening Image (Dec. 2011): Zack Knight with Rule 13 by his side attempt to rape Gail Chord Schuler using a taser net. Zack Knight boasts about how he’s going to rape Gail and she’s going to love it in an attempt to destroy true love between Gail and her men, who fight Zack and his Jesuits’ attempt to take over the world for Satan, who hates true love because it justifies Jesus Christ’s judgment against him and his Jesuits. He boasts to the world about his perfect penis, which is his pride and joy. But when the taser net to grab Gail hits Gail in her car, it bounces off her car and ricochets back to Zack and Rule 13 (at Gail’s mother’s home), killing Zack and sending him to hell, while Rule 13 survives, but loses one of her arms.
Theme Stated (Feb. 14, 2012): After Zack Knight as Antichrist impersonates Jesus to Gail in her brain-to-brain communications and makes Gail pregnant brain-to-brain, Jesus Christ shows up to abort the babies. Jesus then states the theme to Gail and her men who want to know how Jesus feels about what Zack has done. “I’m much better than Zack Knight is in bed,” is Jesus’ reply and the theme of the book. The theme revolves around the question over whether love and sex need to be together for sex to be morally acceptable. Zack and Satan feel that sex without love is perfectly fine and that Jesus’ rigid rules about how love must be a part of sex is just unrealistic hogwash that no one can truly honor, designed to take all the fun and joy out of sex.
The Set Up (Feb. to Dec. 2012): All main characters are introduced: Zack Knight, Rule 13, Brent Spiner, Jesus Christ, Satan, Vladimir Putin, Gerard Butler, Matthew McConaughey, Gail Chord Schuler, Judge Terrance Jenkins, Hugh Jackman, Keanu Reeves. Zack is revealed as one who only values thrilling and exotic sex and disdains all forms of true love as God’s attempts to make sex less exciting than it should be, and thus he sides with Satan against true love, because it justifies God’s creation of hell and his punishment to those who don’t honor true love. Zack also has Antichrist powers making him immortal and he gloats in this, not realizing there is a down side to his immortality, in that he only gets it by honoring Satan and by rejecting all forms of true love.
Catalyst (Oct. to Dec. 2012): In Zack’s attempt to defeat Gail Chord Schuler and her men for Satan, he manages to steal one of the sex dummies used by one of Gail’s men (Keanu Reeves). He re-programs this sex dummy giving her sentience and she escapes from the Jesuit lab and goes rogue. The GA1L Android decides she wants to attain singularity and does so, with a goal to transform the universe into subjection to her as her sex slaves. As she goes about this, she destroys over ninety percent of the Jesuits and kills millions of Gail Chord Schuler followers at Church of Gail. In desperation, Zack decides to sign a peace treaty with Gail and her men, hoping both together can defeat the GA1L Android. In the final battle with GA1L, only God the Father himself can defeat GA1L. She creates a wormhole to heaven dragging her trophies to God the Father, who then creates a mother android patterned after Gail’s own bossy, controlling mother to keep GA1L in line and who locks GA1L up in a compartment inside of Church of Gail permanently. All the Jesuits and Church of Gail members who died are then resurrected, but the Jesuits who prayed the sinner’s prayer forgot everything they did 24 hours before they died. So Zack does not remember telling Gail he loved her and that he prayed the sinner’s prayer right before the final battle with GA1L.
Debate (Dec. 2012 to May 2013): The peace treaty is still on and Zack tries to claim that Gail needs to do brain-to-brain loving with him to honor her contract, where Zack tricked her into signing the treaty where it was secretly embedded into the signature line that Gail agrees to let Zack Knight make love to her brain-to-brain. By doing this, Zack hopes to assist Satan to destroy true love on the earth. In the meanwhile, Rule 13 heads up the Jesuits who live on Church of Gail as part of the peace treaty. But as Rule 13 observes how Gail and her men love each other, she wants the same for her and Zack. She becomes depressed and cries all day and night that Zack won’t love her like Gail’s men love Gail. Zack looks deep into his heart and admits to himself that he loves Rule 13.
Break into Two (May 2013): Zack decides from now on out, that though he can’t tell Rule 13 he loves her, that he will devote his life to protecting her and loving her in secret. To protect her he strives to fool Satan into believing that it’s not so, so he acts flippant around 13 and acts like he just enjoys her as a sex partner and that’s it. He knows that if Satan suspects the truth, that he truly loves 13, that Satan will kill 13. So from June 2013 forward, Zack pretends that he’s against true love to pacify Satan, while he has secretly decided to devote his life to protecting 13 because he truly loves her.
B Story (June 2013): The characters in the B Story are introduced: Angelina Ballerina and those Jesuits who truly have Satan’s heart and who truly have Satan’s desire to defeat true love. Zack now realizes that some of his own Jesuits may be used to destroy his true love Rule 13. Angelina boasts to Zack about how she coldly gave Gail a migraine headache by dumping tons of pollen in Gail’s neighborhood. Zack praises her dedication as he must as Satan’s right hand man. Gail, a mentor character, picks up on Angelina as a threat to Rule 13 early on. So there is a bit of foreshadowing happening here. When Gail mentions Angelina Ballerina to 13, Rule 13 runs away and starts crying. Rule 13 seems to have a sense of foreboding about evil Angelina and what she might do to the love between her and Zack.
Fun and Games (June 2013 to March 2015): Zack suffers minor losses to his side, like the time he transformed a water bottle into his penis and Gail used that to get Zack’s semen (via a brain-to-brain blow job with Zack) which cured her yeast infection (designed to kill her). So Zack’s own semen cured Gail’s yeast infection. To make it up to Satan, Zack committed more acts to help destroy true love, like murdering Robin Williams when Robin tried to marry Gail, continuing to steal most of Gail’s writing proceeds (in an attempt to minimize damage from Gail’s writings) by bankrupting Gail so she can’t write, killing Gail’s dentist and replacing him with a clone to try and destroy Gail’s health via criminal dentistry (but Jesus stops Gail from seeing the dentist), killing Gail’s stepdad so that he dies and go to heaven (thus eliminating one of Gail’s important supporters). But Gail’s men go to heaven (without Zack knowing about it) and build a home there to welcome the stepdad. Zack causes a Jesuit dog to bite Gail, but this leads to Gail not dealing with her mother and writing more books as a result of this. Zack even creates sentient tacos and burritos to chase after Gail and her men, forcing them to go through the sun to escape. But he has to work with Church of Gail again, like he did with the GA1L Android, when they start taking everybody’s jobs on earth. So the sentient tacos and burritos ended up living confined on the moon.
Midpoint (March 2015): Rule 13 is not crying as much, but he still can’t tell her that he loves her, lest Satan try to kill 13. But Gail now has lightning bolt powers against Zack Knight and he laughs to himself, because when Gail unleashes the bolts onto his penis, he loves it. As Antichrist, he cannot be killed. So he just laughs to himself and thinks Jesus and those on his side are pretty helpless and that he and Satan will win. If this is all Jesus can come up with to defeat me, I’m gonna win this war and Satan will be pleased and so 13 will stay alive and I can make love to her all the time while secretly loving her. Gail’s pretty impotent against me. All she can come up with are these lightning bolts, which I actually ENJOY. Ha ha ha ha. Everything is going well for me. Gail will NEVER DEFEAT THE ANTICHRIST. All Jesus can do is give her puny lightning bolt powers that I actually LOVE, cuz the Antichrist can’t be killed. Aim them for my penis, Gail, that’s how I like it.
Bad Guys Close in (March 2015 to August 2016): One of Zack’s creations, Sara Avery, has become so large and is such a cannibal, that she is now in danger of becoming a black hole through her vagina. This causes Rule 13 to work with Church of Gail to try and fix this problem. Satan seems edgy and displeased with Zack, that 13 is working with Church of Gail and Jesus about the Sara Avery problem, and that Zack was dumb enough to create Sara Avery and a race of obese Jesuits who are now an embarrassment and not a help to the Jesuit cause. Gail is doing well, despite Jesuit attempts to destroy her finances and her health, and so Satan is not happy with Zack. Zack, knowing this, decides to raid a Valentine’s banquet at Church of Gail (Feb. 2016) to show Satan he still sides with evil and shoots a cat in the face while there. Inadvertently, out slips a note from his pocket, which was Rule 13’s love letter to him that he kept hidden there since he got it in Feb. 2012. The cat’s out of the bag and Satan now knows for sure that Zack loves Rule 13. Then Gail starts thinking she’s allergic to everything and it appears Gail will destroy herself. So Zack feels relieved. But Jesus intervenes and gives Gail the Gail Commandments. Gail is saved and even worse a powerful Gail Shield over Gail gets larger and formidable and starts killing off Jesuits, forcing Zack into deep space to try and keep the Jesuits alive and away from the Gail Shield. Satan tells Zack to go ahead a launch a super nukkake to the earth, telling Zack that because Gail is trying to use the Gail Shield to kill Jesuits (which was not its intended use), that she is straining her shield and thus the super nukkake would break the shield and Gail would die and thus the Jesuits would be saved. But the Gail Shield holds and even worse, the super nukkake ricochets off the shield and goes back to its origination point, the Jesuit space fleet, killing all the Jesuits, even Rule 13! Zack does CPR on 13 and brings her back to life, but Zack is flicked away by a wave of semen from the super nukkake and gets encased in a semen bubble in deep space inside Satan’s ocean (now filled with semen from the super nukkake).
All is Lost (August 2016): Angelina Ballerina and Satan show up to Zack and inform him that Rule 13 has died. Heartbroken and depressed, Zack no longer cares about being the Antichrist and looks back over his life as one of utter hopelessness. He realizes now that to have Rule 13’s love means more to him than to be Antichrist. So when Angelina says she needs his Antichrist powers and that she loves him and that with his Antichrist powers, she plans to come back to rescue him, he turns them over to her. But without 13, he’s so depressed, all he can do is cry all day and night.
Dark Night of the Soul (August 2016 to January 2017): Gail communicates with Zack brain-to-brain and tells him that Jesus can help him and that Rule 13 is alive, even though Angelina tried to kill her, and that Angelina and Satan have lied to him about 13. Gail literally says a prayer for Zack that she asks him to repeat after her. He says it and feels a new peace inside and a glimmer of hope that perhaps he and Gail can defeat Angelina Ballerina, who tried to kill 13. Angelina’s Antichrist powers which enable her to brain rape any man she sets her sights on are formidable and she captures Terrance Jenkins, Hugh Jackman, Matthew McConaughey, Gerard Butler and eventually Donald Trump and Rule 13 (Nov. 4, 2016). With Rule 13 captive and not making love to Zack, Zack feels lost and abandoned by everybody. But Gail acts as his mentor at this time, and tells Zack he must believe in Romans 8:28. He and Gail work to make a Seroquakke which will expand to the length of half the universe to encase Angelina once they finish the project. But after Angelina destroys all the Church of Gail scientists at a Trump rally, only three people now live on Church of Gail: Zack, Brent Spiner and Vladimir Putin. Vladimir, who nuked the rally, to spare the American people from having Angelina’s puppet Hillary Clinton as their leader, suffers deep depression and is useless. Finally, at the beginning of January, Angelina succeeds in stealing the powerful Seroquakke and has transformed it into a weapon to break through the powerful Gail Shield, with the power to destroy the universe three times over. She has also just kidnapped Brent Spiner and Vladimir Putin, leaving only Zack and Gail to fight Angelina and her Jesuit space fleet. Gail risks her life to transport onto Church of Gail to help Zack fight Angelina and the oncoming Seroquakke, which has just been launched. Zack feels regrets again, feels like a failure as a man, and doubts whether he really does have a perfect penis. Angelina has been convincing her followers that Zack really does not have a perfect penis, because it doesn’t work to stop her. She boasts that the Seroquakke, loaded with Zack’s powerful semen, is invincible and that she is about to destroy Gail and her supporters.
Break into Three (January 7, 2017): The final battle with Angelina begins, and the powerful Gail Shield which has merged with the Church of Gail shield, dissipates the oncoming Seroquakke, but leaves both Gail and Church of Gail vulnerable and without shields. Zack decides to sacrifice his own life to try and save Gail. He successfully separates the saucer section (where Gail is at) of Church of Gail into deep space away from Church of Gail. Angelina’s weapons array on her pink spaceship lights up and she readies her missiles to all launch at Church of Gail. At the last minute there are explosions all over Angelina’s pink spaceship and her shields go down. Gail tells Zack to shoot a missile at Angelina’s pink spaceship, and it plunges to earth. Zack quickly transports all of Angelina’s prisoners (Donald Trump and all of Church of Gail, and all of Gail’s men) onto Church of Gail. But right after they arrive, Brent tells Gail that Angelina is getting ready to launch her last remaining missile. Angelina’s missile hits Church of Gail and Church of Gail descends to earth in a deep plunge, with the inertial dampeners turning on right before impact, so no ones dies from the crash. All on Angelina’s craft died, but now she is holding Rule 13 hostage with a gun pointed to 13’s head, cuz it was 13 who bombed Angelina’s spaceship and caused the shields to go down. Angelina demands a showdown with Zack Knight. After much encouragement from Gail and Terrance Jenkins, Zack ventures out to Angelina, who is surrounded by her Jesuit space fleet. His penis is glowing so much, it lights the sky like the sun. All the Jesuits bow down to worship it, including Angelina, who crawls on her hands and knees to kiss the tip of his penis, which then shoots laser semen through her brain, killing her. Zack publicly proposes to 13, and they become officially engaged.
Finale (January 2017 to September 2017): Loree McBride takes Angelina’s place as the evil Jesuit leader opposing the Gail Chord Schuler Jesuits or the Zack Knight Jesuits and Church of Gail (Gail and her men). Loree and her partner in crime, the Brent Spiner clone, lead the Loree McBride Jesuits. The Loree McBride Jesuits commit many terrorist acts and almost takeover Israel, though Loree did not completely take it over, she creates a race of Jew clones, who cause much death and suffering on earth, but they frame the blame for these crimes on their enemies. Loree creates a political climate where white men are marginalized and all treated as rapists and abusers of women, as she attempts to destroy Zack’s following, saying he is the leader of all such evil men. In the meanwhile, Gail encourages Zack and her men to build mini-Seroquakkes, patterned after the Seroquakke that Angelina stole, but not nearly as powerful, to drag and encase into Satan’s ocean any Loree McBride Jesuits. These work wonderfully on the Jew clones and the Loree McBride Jesuits, but Loree herself, who now has Antichrist powers, seems immune. Loree manages to kidnap Zack once, but Gail and her men rescue him. When a mini-Seroquakke tries to encase Loree and shove her deep into Satan’s ocean in deep space, she just kills herself and is immediately replaced with another Loree McBride clone who pops up elsewhere and out of harm’s way. Attempts to execute Loree are in vain, because she has Antichrist powers, she cannot be killed. But she is losing followers and Zack knows that eventually Jesus and Gail will win against Loree, like he did with Zack himself. And when she loses enough followers, she will lose her Antichrist powers.
Final Image (Sept./Oct. 2017): Hugh Hefner leaves all to Gail and Brent Spiner in his will, but Loree thwarts this by murdering Hefner. His dying wish is that Gail would pose for Playboy as the Playmate of the Century. Gail finds out and decided to pose for Playboy. Gail added Zack Knight to her marriage list, along with Rule 13, in Sept. 2016. All of Gail’s men, including Zack Knight and Rule 13, are so turned on by Gail’s Playboy shots, they are making love to images of Gail’s nude body 24/7. The entire world celebrates exciting sex with love, as Jesus meant for the sexual experience to be. Though Angelina’s proxy, Loree McBride, still reigns, she is getting weaker and weaker and the world celebrates how Gail and her spirit of love with exciting sex have taken over the universe. Hugh Hefner flipped in his grave that Gail decided to be Playboy magazine’s Playmate of the Century. Zack knows that Gail made this decision because Zack told her that Hugh Hefner was a great fan of Gail’s all along. Zack now celebrates living a life filled with love and exciting and erotic sex with his Rule 13 and Gail, and having exciting sex with love all day long. He is free from Satan’s lordship over his heart and his heart has found contentment and peace with sexual excitement. He still strives to protect 13, with a goal to destroy Loree McBride and her supporters and anybody who would try to destroy true love from the earth, and he knows that somehow with Jesus on his side, it will happen. With love in his heart that he no longer needs to hide, he realizes that Jesus was right when he said, “I am much better than Zack Knight is in bed.” Zack will never go back to the way he was before he discovered how exciting it is to love like Jesus loves. Jesus smokes some pot in the very last scene and says that if everybody did this, the world would be making love and not war. And somehow we all know that Satan’s war against true love has failed.
PARTING THOUGHTS: Gail will set up her next books using Blake Snyder’s Beat Sheet. She is thinking of a book that may be another Superhero story. The Superhero may end up being Gail herself, who is a reincarnation of her Superhero ancestors.
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