WHY JESUS IS GAIL’s MOST EXCITING HUSBAND (written in Jan. 2012)

UPDATE April 2021: Gail cancelled her marriage list in 2021 and only Brent Spiner is on the marriage list. And after dealing with Jesus since 2012 has concluded that he can only be sexually attracted to his bride, the church (a conglomerate of redeemed human beings). She won’t insult him by trying to see him as a husband, when he is far too good for her. Out of respect for Jesus, she now only views him as God and, therefore, not interested in making love to a single human being. Even if he was sexually attracted to Gail, which she highly doubts, she has no desire to make love to a deity, out of respect for his status as a deity. Though Gail will admit that she finds Jesus sexually attractive, she has too much respect for him, to even think of him as her lover. He’s too good for her. Also, the thought of making love to a deity is somewhat intimidating to Gail. Sexual attraction aside, Gail prefers her humble husband Brent Spiner, who is her true soulmate and is someone she can relax with and let her hair down with. Gail likes a “comfortable” lover. Jesus may be an exciting lover, but his deity status makes him a bit intimidating. It’s funny, but after dealing with Jesus for many years and even though he comes across real hip and cool, she sees him more as God now than she did when her only acquaintance with him was through prayer and Bible study, making him more intimidating to her. Something about dealing with God directly is a very humbling experience for Gail.

Why is this? Perhaps, it’s cuz having gotten to know him, she realizes more than ever how awesome and vast he is. The English translation of the Bible does not quite capture him accurately. However, Gail’s own transcripts of her conversations with Jesus captures him well in English! Being in the presence of such greatness, she realizes far more her own failings and does not desire to have sexual relations with a being that she feels totally unworthy to have as a lover! The best way to love Jesus is to OBEY HIM and live a life of love, not to see him as a lover.

Jesus does seem to have a very high regard for Gail though, which really astonishes her. She hopes that she can continue to make this awesome being proud of her.


Well, look at my list down below, that I wrote in May 2002. My tastes haven’t changed. Jesus Christ meets everything on my list. He’s my perfect lover.

Hey, I only wanted Brent Spiner and Vladimir Putin. The rest got put on some marriage list, that I had nothing to do with. I’m past the infatuation stage with both Brent (1991 to now) and Vladimir (2001 to now). I stand by my men because this is what my husband Jesus would want me to do. It’s the right and honorable thing to do.

Philippians–“I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith, to be content.” So I’m happy, enjoying my honeymoon with Jesus. No human being can meet all our needs, only Jesus can do that. I realize that, and am living accordingly. I live to GIVE, not to TAKE. I enjoy ministering to (and sticking up for) my imperfect, but respectable men. Perhaps I will only be able to minister to them long distance for the rest of my life. I rest in Jesus.

I love both Brent and Vladimir, realize that neither is perfect, would marry one in the normal sense of the word “marriage” (you know, like a regular married couple living under one roof), if one ever had the guts to show up and not be terrified by Jesuits. I understand their fears, don’t judge them for it–but just prefer Jesus Christ above them all. There are other men on my marriage list (at least forty guys, I think–good grief– Brent and Vladimir are crazy!), but I don’t know any of these men well enough to comment about them, so I’ll refrain–nor am I certain I’d marry them. If one of the men on my marriage list, wants to join me in my honeymoon with Jesus, they’re welcome. In the meanwhile, I’m not waiting for any man on my marriage list to show up (Jesuits are too scary) and marry me in the normal sense of the word marriage, and the only men I feel comfortable about marrying in the normal sense of the word marriage are Vladimir Putin or Brent Spiner. But I’m over this obsession I used to have to wait for Brent or Vladimir to show up. I did that from December 1999 to about February 2006.

I’m having my honeymoon now. Jesus Christ is a perfectly adequate lover.


Reprint from a statement Gail wrote on 5-31-02

WHAT I WANT IN A MAN (my tastes haven’t changed since 2002)

  1. Passionate
  2. Masculine
  3. Character & Dependability
  4. Bigness of Heart — Generous
  5. Intelligence (Brilliance)
  6. Prefer Older Men
  7. Maturity —Balanced not a fanatical extremist
  8. Greatness — concerned for justice and human rights with the courage to follow through
  9. Sense of humor, in the sense that the man can laugh at himself and doesn’t have an over-sized ego.
  10. He must love me with a genuine concern for my health and welfare, and a desire to love me with tenderness, depth and sensitivity. I can tell if a man loves me.
  11. He must accept me the way I am and not try to reform me into his perfect woman.
  12. Emotionally honest, with the courage to reveal his heart to me, to be transparent, and with a commitment to intimacy, emotional sensitivity, and loving one partner above all others. This does not mean possessiveness, but an absolute trust in me — to the point that he’d bare his soul to me like he would no other, which would result in a commitment to emotional closeness. I must feel one with him as if he was a natural extension of my body, like my arm or leg.An extreme trust — my best and most committed friend.
  13. Not jealous. We must give each other the freedom to have friendships with the opposite sex, but in terms of emotional closeness — he should feel closer to me than any other woman. A strong emotional intimacy and transparency between us would tend to lessen jealousy, because we would be so close we would not feel threatened by the encroachment of others. Also, because both the man and I would be generous, we would want our partner to have the freedom to enjoy others besides ourselves.

Copyright © 2002 – 2018 Gail Chord Schuler. All Rights Reserved.