A Response about my Narcissist Mother from a Fan
Hello Gail,
I just finished watching your newest video about your narcissistic mother and sister. Wow, that video was a handful to watch, but as well very interesting.
Btw., the reason I understand Loree McBride (aka narcissists in general) is, that my mother is a narcissist herself. So I know first hand what you were going through and still are. Also, your decision to cut your mother and sister mostly out of your life, is the best choice possible, because a narcissist never changes. They can not recover, because they are damaged beyond repair. If they are doing better, as you stated your mother did, when she married your stepfather, was, because he treated her in the “right way”. Means that he fed her ego constantly, which made her happy. So that is the reason, when they seem to be fine. No recovery, since it is impossible, only the nacissistic ego gets fed.
The boyfriend I had, when I still lived in Berlin, was a narcissist himself, and I very quickly understood how to treat him, so he was always happy (I guess it was so, because it was the same pattern with my mother.). But such a relationship can never work, because your whole life centers around the narcissist and it starts to drain you off of all your energy, since it is always about him, never about you and you are always walking on thin ice, since they are very thin-skinned about everything and you always need to know what to say or do and what not. (Does that remind you of your ex-husband? XD)
What that “fan” said to you (I haven’t read that, do you have a link to where it was posted?), was nothing but disgusting. That person just wanted to make you feel bad about yourself. And yes, your sister is jealous of you, because in her eyes, no one else but herself deserves good things coming to her (like all narcissists), so it is no wonder, she gets mad at you and disparages everything you accomplish and say you are just crazy.
Also I am wondering, since you are very good at managing your life in every way, how your mother and sister can think that you are oh-so ill and need to be locked in a psychiatric ward? What about people who are unable to handle their finances correctly, but buy unneeded stuff all of the time, instead of the things they really would need, barely taking care of their hygiene and cleaning their houses/apartments, eat unhealthy all of the time and are very fat and ill, thanks to that, and so on and so forth? And these people are still being considered “normal” by society. Shouldn’t such people then be locked into a padded cell and the key be thrown away, according to your sisters logic?
Oh well, don’t let your self get down by your mother and sister. Their lifes are a mess, they are and will always be unhappy, and will always blame you for everything and try to make you feel as miserable as they do. So keep them away from you and your life and let them be miserable, since that is all they really are able to do. Save yourself.
Btw. if you want, you might copy into google search “daughters of naricisstic mothers”. Alot of very interesting and insightful things will come up for you to read. 😉
Have a nice day.
With kind regards,
xxxxxxxxxx
Dear Friend,
I appreciate your comments. Everything you say is true. I have come to realize that after suffering years and years of abuse. Jesus had to allow a dog to bite me to get my attention in Jan. 2015, and to show me how I was enabling the narcissists by allowing them to abuse me over and over and that only by separating from them could I escape the abuse as well as the abuse they inflicted upon those who truly loved and supported me. I learned that by enabling them (i.e., by allowing them to manipulate me and try to guilt me over everything) that I was not only hurting myself, but hurting the REAL Brent Spiner, who they have also victimized by attempting to block him from supporting and loving me. Jesus knew that he could use my love for Brent, who is so supportive, caring and wonderful, to motivate me to cut my mother and sister out of my life until they learn to appreciate the real Brent as much as I do. I will not allow my narcissistic family to keep me from a person who genuinely cares about me and loves me enough to die for me. They sure could learn a lesson from the REAL Brent Spiner on what it is that constitutes true greatness in a human being.
You know, that fan, who wrote those hurtful comments, I blocked them at my YouTube and lost the comments they said. I actually wish I had retained the comment and actually went back to look for the comment several days ago, but it appears to be lost. So I had to report what they said from memory. The reason I blocked the comment is because some of what they were saying was a violation of my privacy and by posting that comment, it would make it easier for criminals to take advantage of me. I now wish that I had retained the comment and just blacked out the portion that was a violation of my privacy. But it appears when you hide a comment at YouTube, you lose that comment forever.
I have no doubts that I made the right decision to cut my mother and sister out of my life until/and if they both apologize to me for the lying statement that my sister wrote that had me taken against my will to a psych ward, I do not expect my sister to apologize as I am certain she is a sociopath, and sociopaths do not tend to apologize for anything, especially if it makes them look bad. Jesus did say that my mother is going to heaven, so perhaps one day she will apologize. I am certain that Jesus will have to do something major to her to get that to happen though, and I am not going to sit around and wait or expect that to happen.
My sister has tried to guilt me into dealing with my mother again, but I won’t until she apologizes for the lying statement my sister submitted to a judge about me. I think the videos on this page are very good on the subject!
To ensure that I will live a life with no regrets, I have actually forgiven my mother and sister in my heart and hope and pray that they both will find God’s path for their life and turn away from the ways of Satan. I do not go to bed with anger or hatred in my heart. But I realize that if they change, this is something they have to do ON THEIR OWN and that I am not responsible for their behavior, nor should I waste my time trying to inspire them to change. I have already done that and it got me NOWHERE. By praying for my mother every day, that is the best I can do. Dealing with her, when she is dealing with my sister is a violation of God’s will for my life and Jesus does not want me to deal with my mother right now. Whenever I feel I am on God’s path, I never allow ANYONE to shame me out of it. That’s why I turned down a chance to be an Air Force officer when I was young and went to a Bible college against the will of my family at the time. I have NO REGRETS. I NEVER regret doing what I feel God wants me to do. By allowing them to deal with me and abuse me, and thus enable my dangerous sociopath sister to have more weapons to use against me and Brent Spiner, I am making it harder for love, truth and justice to win. So I maintain a separation from them in order for love and justice to prevail. There is no other way.
As a born again Christian, narcissists are great at trying to guilt me into helping them, making my mother seem a victim, that I, as a Christian, should give support, so they say. This worked until I realized that my mother makes herself a victim and that my sister and her have a very unhealthy relationship that they want to drag me into. I have to separate from them, for my own mental health and to protect those who truly care for me (i.e., Brent Spiner).
And, oh yes! What you said about narcissists, describes my ex-husband TO A TEE. “But such a relationship can never work, because your whole life centers around the narcissist and it starts to drain you off of all your energy, since it is always about him, never about you and you are always walking on thin ice, since they are very thin-skinned about everything and you always need to know what to say or do and what not. (Does that remind you of your ex-husband? XD)”
It also describes my mother. My sister is more of a sociopath, and is even more evil than my mother. My narcissist mother refuses to acknowledge that my sister is a sociopath because it’s part of my mother’s self-image of perfection that she is the perfect mother, which is her excuse for all the abuse she gives me. She has to believe she’s the perfect mother, which is why she won’t acknowledge that my sister is a sociopath, and that she failed in how she raised my sister! My sister, to her, represents all that she has DONE RIGHT as a mother. And my sister has convinced her, that the way I have turned out, shows that my mother somehow failed as a mother, and my sister guilts my mother into expending all her energy to try and get me the psych help that my sister says I need. This is why I have cut off my mother.
Actually, after Brent came into my life and helped me escape from my co-dependency prison, I have evolved into a very strong woman and my mental health is one of my strongest assets now. Most people who have gone through what I have gone through would have committed suicide. But I can rightly say, that suicide has never crossed my mind my entire life. So, I guess I’ve always been strong, even when I was a co-dependent. I now use my strength to support my men, rather than support the narcissists in my life.
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