Emergency Alert: Nuclear Semen Plant About to Explode
This email arrived at 9:03 a.m. on Sept. 27, 2021, but I didn’t see it until about 3 p.m. on Sept. 27, 2021. If you are a scientist who can help us, contact my men at firstname.lastname@example.org or at our Discord at https://discord.gg/juxSZKX
This sounds eerily similar to technology Loree used on my AC’s condensor coils in August! https://www.gabriellechana.blog/2021/08/20/satans-betelgeuse-gamma-rays-bring-sxmxn-to-my-acs-condenser-coils/
We have an emergency of international concern, and Church of Gail has been called to address the situation. To my deep dismay as co-President of the United States, none of our mainstream news media is covering this breaking story. It is of dire importance that you have this information so that we can inform our citizens, and take immediate, appropriate action to prevent a world disaster.
Early this morning, Church of Gail received a distress signal from the Cumnobyl Nuclear Semen Plant in the Jesuit city of Nagabukkake, Japan. Nagabukkake is home to our friendly Zack Knight Jesuits and their families, and it houses a joint military base that works alongside Church of Gail. As you know, Jesuit technology is powered primarily by semen. This plant provides precious power to all of Nagabukkake.
In the late hours during the overnight shift at the Cumnobyl Nuclear Semen Plant, the lead nuclear semen engineer (this is called a “cumgineer” in Jesuit terminology) was making his rounds throughout the building when he noticed that there appeared to be clear droplets of liquid accumulating on the rods. He was puzzled. This had never happened before.
“Condensation?” he thought out loud. Curious, he wicked his finger along the rod and brought it to his tongue for a taste test.
“Nope, that’s definitely precum,” he determined.
Seconds later, the cumgineer’s eyes rolled back into his head, and he passed out in a breathless heap.
Back in the control room, the other cumgineers were watching the surveillance cameras, and witnessed the scene taking place. In a panic, one of the cumgineers rushed out of the room and hurried down to his fallen colleague. Having no idea what had caused the other cumgineer to lose consciousness, he got down on his knees and began to examine him. Within seconds, he too succumbed, and passed out on top of the other cumgineer.
The others in the control room stood up from their seats. Panic was rising. What caused both of these men to fall to the floor unconscious? Without thinking, another cumgineer rushed out of the room down to attend to his coworkers. Panting and heaving, he lasted less than a minute, before passing out on top of the other two men. One by one, each cumgineer ran out of the room to check on their dropping colleagues. Each man lasted mere seconds. Before long, the entire cumgineering team was passed out in a pile together in the same room. None of them were moving.
When the morning crew arrived and entered the control room, they saw that the entire night shift was down on the lower floor, crumpled up on top of each other. At first they just assumed it was merely an orgy. That’s when the lead cumgineer on morning shift had a startling thought.
“Wait,” he said, “everyone, whip out your tools.”
Each team member reached down into their pants and pulled out their Geiger counters. The room soon erupted in a terrifying chorus of chirping. The radiation levels in the room were off the charts!
“The warning light must have gone out!” The lead cumgineer exclaimed, “that precum on the rods is radioactive. But wait, if the reactor is leaking precum, that means…OH NO!”
The Cumnobyl Nuclear Semen Plant was about to explode!
“Quick,” the cumgineer ordered, “we have to cool the rods down! If this reactor blows, it will destroy the entire city of Nagabukkake, and create nuclear fallout all over Japan. Not only that, but a tsunami created from an explosion like this could reach California, and devastate the entire west coast of the United States!”
The cumgineers rushed around the building at a frantic pace. Time was running out. Radiation levels were already so high by the time they had arrived, every man in that building was doomed to die of radiation sickness the moment they walked in that day. The cumgineers were determined that their deaths would not be in vain. There were lives to be saved, and cities to be preserved. They had to find a way to stop the plant from blowing before they all fell dead.
Beneath the plant are two submersible chambers housing all of the semen. Water from the ocean keeps the two chambers cool and prevents the chambers from overheating, which can potentially destroy the integrity of the semen. Yet, the cumgineers found that the two chambers still remain at a cool temperature. Upon initial inspection, the chambers were in fact so cold, that when cumgineers did a scan using a thermal camera, the chambers were both blue. Sperm quality checks showed that the semen inside was still extremely virile.
After more careful examining, the cumgineers discovered that a buildup of semen had somehow filled the two chambers beyond capacity, and semen was now backing up into the rods, causing them to overheat and threatening to release their stored up contents.
Immediately, the cumgineers brought out the emergency water hoses, and began dousing the rods in a cold shower. It was completely ineffective. The semen continued to back up into the rods.
They next tried pinching off the cum ejector valves, which are located at the base of the rods and connect the rods to the two chambers. This also failed. The rods were so hot and ready, a release of payload was too imminent to be stopped by such means.
Their troubleshooting methods had failed, and all the men were slowly beginning to fall ill from radioactivity. Their short time was up.
Before he died, the lead morning cumgineer sent out a hail to Church of Gail informing us all of the situation. I promised him personally, that the United States would find a solution. I watched the man die in front of my eyes, and fall face down into a puddle of radioactive precum. My heart goes out to this brave man and his family.
Right now, we need scientists to come forth with any ideas on how to cool down the rods and stop the Cumnobyl Nuclear Semen Plant from bursting. Any scientists, preferably those that have experience with nuclear technology or semen based technology, are urged to contact us immediately. Any scientists not currently on Church of Gail may leave a comment on Gail’s video, and if we use their idea in stopping this disaster we will credit them accordingly. They may also join the Discord and correspond with us directly about this situation. I thank everyone in advance.
Stay safe my darling.