Shakpona’s Evil Mites Could Destroy Earth NOW

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Can watch the BitChute video HERE, the Odysee video HERE, and the YouTube video HERE.

I received this email today on May 20, 2024. After reading it, I suggest we all meditate, stay calm and committed to doing the Gail Commandments. I have a painful mite infection in my lower back that improved after meditation with chamomile tea.

I don’t think it would hurt if all of humanity praised God the Father for this and thanked him for his creation and that we do not doubt his goodness whatever decision he decides.

I call it the sacrifice of praise. In the Old Testament, when they were in the midst of battle if they praised God in the midst of it, it gave them victory power.

We should all say we LOVE GOD AND THINK HE IS JUST AND BRILLIANT IN ALL HE DOES and that he MAKES NO MISTAKES and that Satan was wrong to rebel against him.

That if we have sided with Satan we repent in sackcloth and ashes and to please forgive us for our sins and show us the way to be good, so that we can follow it.

We would like our life to be one that honors light and not darkness and that all we care about is to honor true love and goodness.

That when we have failed, please accept Jesus’s death on the cross as mediation on our behalf. We pray this humbly and with love to the awesome God the Father, who makes no mistakes.

This will surely NOT HURT, especially if we pray this in sincerity.

I actually DO love God the Father. I think I have him pretty much figured out and I want to be on his side.

It must be the King David in me.


Dearest Gail,

To say that much has happened would be an understatement of godlike proportions. I just know that for the time being, I can rest, and take this moment to catch you up to speed on everything. 

Allow me to explain. 

Rule 13 was alone in her quarters, thinking about what to have for lunch. Recently, I had mentioned a delicious sandwich that you had once made for me, and she was eager to try it herself. So, she walked into her kitchen and activated the food replicator that contains the stored data of all of the home prepared meals that you’ve made for us and set out on the special table in your apartment. As you know, all of the meals that you set out on your dining table get transported to Church of Gail, and the data for the recipes are permanently saved in our replicator program for continuous enjoyment.

13 found the recipe for the sandwich I mentioned, and pressed the button to replicate. A beautiful sandwich glittered into existence beneath the replicator. Excited for her meal, 13 disappeared to go grab something to drink. As soon as she returned, she picked up the sandwich for a first bite.

Yet, in the short time it took for her to fetch a drink, something had changed. The sandwich appeared to be speckled with tiny brown spots. Ever more strangely, it appeared to be…squirming? 13 looked inside her sandwich with concern. Suddenly, her narrow Asian eyes went wide with horror.

She screamed.

Hugh Jackman was down the hall when he heard the scream. His manliness swelling to the rescue, he rushed to Rule 13’s quarters. That was when his steely wolverine eyes went as wide as hers.

Rule 13 had dropped her sandwich on the table, recoiling from it in disgust. An explosion of bugs was bursting out of its contents, invading the surroundings like a blitzkrieg of arthropod foot soldiers.

Hugh jumped into action, rushing into the room and punching the bug-filled sandwich. His fist plummeted a hole straight through the kitchen table. Then, out of the corner of his eye, a speck of movement caught his attention. Rule 13 gasped. The two of them looked around in repulsed shock, as they realized the whole room was covered in swarms of the tiny brown bugs!

They were under seige!

Hugh and Rule 13 scrambled around the room, trying desperately to fight off the bugs. 13 grabbed a frying pan and swung it around to smash them, while Hugh punched at every moving surface.

As he swung and punched, Hugh felt a tingly, vibrating sensation working up both of his muscular arms. He startled back, and his body began to itch. What was going on? He ripped open his shirt, throwing the pieces off onto the floor. He gasped in shock. The bugs were attracted to his coarse, hairy body, and had begun infesting his glorious man fur! Hugh roared with alarm as he clawed at all the bugs now scurrying through his chest and stomach hair.

Hearing the commotion, Matthew McConaughy rushed in next.

“Hugh! What’s going on?!” He exclaimed.

“GAHHH!” Hugh roared, “Get them off me! GET THEM OFF ME!”

Matthew inhaled breathily, “I’m COMING, Hugh!”

Matthew dove into the kitchen and grabbed Hugh Jackman from behind, rubbing and massaging his body furiously in an attempt to free him from the bugs. Hugh grit his teeth and began grunting, sweat beading on his muscles. Matthew panted and screamed as the bugs began swarming all over his body too.

The clamor in the room escalated, drawing the attention of $25 Tier Patrons Brad and Rogal Dorn. The two men were passing by Rule 13’s quarters, when they heard the noise and stopped at the door in shock.

“Brad San! Dorn San!” Rule 13 yelled, “HELP!”

The two Patrons, ever faithful to their $25 Tier heroic obligations, plunged into the fray. Dorn latched on to the back of Matthew, while Brad positioned himself in front of Hugh. In a desperate attempt to save Matthew McConaughy and Hugh Jackman from the bugs, Brad and Dorn began furiously rubbing.

“It’s no use!” Brad moaned.

Rogal Dorn let out a yelp, “they’re on me now too!”

“Quick! The shower!” Matthew interjected, “it’s the only way!”

The four men moved together as a unit into Rule 13’s shower. Matthew’s hands groped and smacked around until he found the long, hard, metal hinge for the water, and turned it on with a squeak. The four men proceeded to rub and massage all of the bugs off of each other in the shower, the hot water rolling down their bodies and steaming up the room.

Rule 13 looked on in frightened anticipation.

Just then, $25 Tier Patron Akasha arrived on scene. Showing up next to Rule 13, she was holding a box of pizza.

“Brad, Dorn, I’ve got the- ” Her words cut off in shock.

Rule 13 and Akasha stared at the four men in the shower. The guys squirmed and gyrated against each other under the hot, steamy water, pawing desperately and groaning, using their tongues to get whatever they couldn’t with their hands.

The girls didn’t know what to do. They looked at each other, and in a panicked moment of frightened confusion, just started making out.

Suddenly, they were interrupted.

The red alert sirens started going off all over Church of Gail. Rule 13 and Akasha stopped kissing, looked at each other, and promptly ran out into the corridor.

To their horror, they discovered that the entire church was swarming with brown bugs!

Rule 13 slammed on her communicator

“Brent! Brent! There is an emergency on Church of Gail! You have to come!”

My communicator went off, chirping with Rule 13’s voice. My mind raced with alarm.

“I’m on it, 13. I’ll be there.”

I teleported from our apartment straight to Church of Gail. Once aboard, I deactivated the invisibility cloak on my Mecha GA1L suit and looked around.


The entire interior of the church looked just like the inside of your bedbug neighbor’s apartment the last time I had seen it. Adrenaline surged within me as I began having flashbacks.

Akasha screamed suddenly, scratching at her skin as the bugs leapt onto her body and skittered under all of her clothes. “What ARE these things?”

I used my Mecha GA1L vision to lock on to one of the bugs and magnify it.

“I’ve seen these before. They look like the bedbugs I saw near mine and Gail’s apartment. Except…”

I had a strange feeling about this.

I had my Mecha GA1L vision magnify the bug further, and further. I then flipped my vision into x-ray mode so I could see inside. Yet instead of organs and guts, all I saw were…vibrating strings.

I thought to myself, “These bugs are interdimensional? Wait…OH NO!”

“What? What is it?” Akasha asked.


“OH MY GOD!” Rule 13 screamed in shock.

“Quick, these mites are dangerous! We need to evacuate and get medical attention to everyone immediately!”

“We’re on it!” Akasha and Rule 13 ran to assist with the evacuations.

I sprinted down to the medical bay.

“Sekhmet!” I called, barreling into the room.

I gasped.

Sekhmet, the Egyptian goddess of medicine, who has been assisting me in treating our patients, was yowling and furiously scratching. A deity with the physical features of a cat, her delicate furry coat was especially attractive to mites. She meowed in agony as the creatures ransacked her whole body. Our medical bay was entirely overrun with mites. Everything was contaminated.

I had to save my colleague.

“Sekhmet, kitty…forgive me.”

I activated the fire extinguisher on the front of my Mecha GA1L suit, and blasted the mites on Sekhmet. She yowled, startled by the frozen blast. Thousands of mites succumbed to the stream, all of them biting her one last time before furiously scrambling off of her. Sekhmet, relieved of her infestation, but now exhausted and sick, collapsed onto the floor. I picked her up and slung her over my shoulders, leaving the medical bay.

The hallways on Church of Gail were like the ground zero of a war zone. A sea of church members ran and screamed for all exits, scratching at themselves and panicking in the confusion.

Amidst the swarm of mites and fleeing civilians, our wise military leader Sun Tzu strolled slowly, surveying the carnage with controlled curiosity. Since our Sun Tzu is an automaton version of the real Sun Tzu, his robot body is not susceptible to mites. There was not a single bug on him. As his steady, confident footsteps glided him along, the mites didn’t even seem to notice his inhuman presence. It was as if he was invisible, a calm and unmoved observer of the chaos around him.

Sun Tzu gazed around with relaxed, mild interest. He casually activated a switch on his body, and sprayed some of the mites with a special gas. He watched with a still, robotic expression on his face as they all vaporized and died.

“Sun Tzu!” I ran up to him.

“Rule 13 and Akasha are organizing the evacuations. The other $25 Tier Patrons Brad and Rogal Dorn, are…um, nevermind what they’re doing. I need you to gather the rest of our automatons and fend off these mites! You’re the only ones who stand a chance!”

Sun Tzu nodded once in understanding, “As you wish, President Spiner.”

“Thank you.”

“Welcome,” Sun Tzu replied, his voice an identical mimicry of AOL’s “Welcome” sound.

You see, Sun Tzu, like all of our automatons, run off of AOL Internet. That’s because Church of Gail uses AOL for our Internet service, and it was what we used in the initial programming of the automatons. I will explain more later.

With the mite situation safely in Sun Tzu’s hands, I headed off down the corridor. I activated my communicator.

“Buddha,” I summoned.

“Namaste, my friend,” Buddha’s friendly voice replied from the communicator.

“Buddha, we have a situation! Something bad is happening! Lizzo’s mites, they’re everywhere! Church of Gail is completely compromised!”

“I see that,” Buddha responded, matter of factly, “meet me at the tea house, Brent. I’m brewing you a cup.”

“The tea house? Buddha! You don’t understand! We-“

“We will talk over tea,” he said, and ended the communication.

I sighed. I didn’t know what to expect, but I fought my way across the church to the Buddhist tea house. I was still carrying an unconscious Sekhmet over my shoulders. I hurried up to the doors of the tea house, and banged with my fist.

“Buddha! I came!” I announced, sweating and panting.

Buddha opened the door, and ushered me inside. Seeing Sekhmet, he motioned for me to pass her over to him. I slung her off of my shoulders and placed her into his arms. Buddha held her. The third eye area in the middle of his forehead glowed, and all of Sekhmet’s chakras lit up with it. She meowed quizzically as she opened her eyes and breathed back into consciousness.

“She will be just fine,” Buddha assured me, “I will brew some catnip tea, and she’ll be right as rain.”

I heaved a sigh of relief. I looked around the room, realizing the tea house was strangely absent of mites.

“Come, sit,” Buddha gestured to the tea table. He passed it by as he walked to the stove to retrieve the tea.

“How is the tea house not infected with mites, like everything else on Church of Gail?”

“Through deep meditation I have created a protective barrier around this sacred space, but it is temporary. That’s why it is important that we talk now.”

“What do we need to talk about? Have you found Lizzo? Where did all these mites come from?”

Buddha returned to the tea table. He set Sekhmet down on the floor next to him. Quiet, and still recovering from the mites, she curled her legs beneath her on the floor and put her head in Buddha’s lap. He poured the fresh hot tea into both of our cups.

“Unfortunately, this timeline has taken…an ill-fated turn. It would appear that interdimensional mites have infested not only the fabric of this universe, but have cross-contaminated the god realm as well.”

My stomach dropped hearing Buddha’s words. I didn’t know quite what he meant, but this sounded bad.

“What does that mean?”

Buddha wrapped his hands around his tea cup, and sipped his tea.

“Drink,” he motioned to me.

My insides turning with unease, I picked up the tea cup that was set out for me, and put it to my lips to drink.

“Chamomile,” he said warmly, “it should calm your nerves.”

“Buddha, I don’t understand.”

Buddha stroked Sekhmet’s face and ears as she quietly purred.

“Interdimensional mites are kind of like the bedbugs of the multiverse. Insidious, infectious, impossible to kill. They eat away at the very fabric of existence.”

He sipped his tea.

“Universes contaminated with interdimensional mites are…unable to be salvaged. Much like a bedbug infestation, the only solution is to burn everything and start again.”

“Are you talking about OUR universe?”

Buddha pulled a marijuana joint from his shirt pocket, and lit it up.

“If interdimensional mites cross over into the god realm, which they now have, that is very bad news. Fortunately, the powers that be were able to stop the infestation before it could fully take root. The mites were recently found on Skoll, the Norse wolf god who was captured during this year’s solar eclipse on Earth. When he was passed back into the god realm, he took this universe’s mites along with him.”

“Skoll? That must be how the mites got onto Church of Gail too.”

Buddha nodded, taking a drag on his joint. He offered me a puff, to which I politely declined with one hand, so he placed it back in his lips.

“The gods of this planet, all around the globe, are currently evacuating, and returning back to the god realm. Myself, and the other gods on Church of Gail, must go too.”

I slammed my palms onto the table and nearly stood out of my chair.

“What will we do without all of you? We’ll be sitting ducks for Lizzo and these mites!”

“Brent, from the moment the first mite appeared in this dimension, planet Earth and all of its universe was already dead. At the level the mite infestation has now reached, this realm is like a burning wildfire. If we stay, we will burn along with it. If it enters the god realm, all of the heavens will burn also.”

I fell into deep silence. My breath dropped in my chest, and I sunk back down into my seat.

“I understand, Buddha,” I finally said.

My somber gaze floated around the tea house. This place, ever peaceful, now seemed more surreal to me than ever. It was a precious moment of merciful calm before a devastating storm to come.

“So…does that mean this world will be godless now?”

“Well, that’s a melodramatic way of stating things,” Buddha took a drag on his joint, “but yes.”

He looked off in thought.

“You will still have Jesus. For the time that Earth has left, anyway.”

I shook my head, my thoughts spinning.

“I’m sorry Buddha…but I’m having a tough time digesting the fact that you’re telling me that Earth is about to be destroyed.”

Buddha gave me a perplexed look, as if what I’d said was absurd. He waved his hand.

“Earth has been destroyed 7 times already. It happens now and then,” he sipped his tea, “this will be the first universe we’ve lost to mites in a long time, however,” he then let out a soft belly laugh, “God the Father is going to be pissed. Destroying a planet is like crashing a new car your dad just bought you. Destroying a whole universe? That’s like crashing the car into the side of the house and taking out a whole room in the process.”

My mortal soul was having a hard time vibing with Buddha’s deity humor.

“What’s going to happen to all of us?”

“Once all the gods, the angels, and any supernatural beings have completely and safely evacuated this universe, God the Father is going to personally extinguish it. There’s not much time left.”

I flung myself out of my chair. “There HAS to be another way! This universe, this version of Earth as we know it, is far too beautiful to be destroyed! This world has true love, it has GAIL! This timeline was Jesus’ favorite! We can’t possibly allow it to be destroyed! Buddha, there HAS to be something we can DO!”

Buddha took a long drag from his joint as he looked into my eyes. After a moment, he cracked a tiny, knowing smile. “I thought you’d say something like that.”

I stared back at Buddha with brazen determination, awaiting his feedback.

“You possess a courageousness in your soul that I haven’t seen since Jesus himself carried the cross to his crucifixtion. Your love for Gail has made you strong beyond measure. If there was any mortal being that might stand a fleeting chance at saving this universe from interdimensional mites, it would be you, Brent. Jesus left you in his stead because he had perfect faith in your ability to feed his sheep and maintain his garden. As do I.”

I felt a swell of hope in my heart.

“Tell me what I need to do,” I said, with stern confidence in my voice.

“Meditate deeply, and go within. You have powerful resources at your disposal. It’s up to you to assemble them. Follow your intuition, and you will know the right path.”

Buddha took the joint from his mouth and passed it toward me again.

“You also need to chill out a little.”

With renewed vigor, I grabbed the marijuana joint from Buddha and stuffed it between my lips. I then gathered myself from the table and whirled turned toward the door, ready to go save the world.

“Namaste Brent!” Buddha called out to me, gracefully raising his hand, “you will do just fine.”

More resolute than ever, I held my head high and exited the tea house. This moment of suspended animation was finished, and it was time to head back into the oncoming storm.

A short distance away, Sun Tzu was standing at the bottom of the steps to the tea house, staring up at me. It would appear he had been standing there for a long time, watching. Perhaps waiting for me to come back outside.

“Sun Tzu,” I said, with welcome relief to see him, “you’re just the automaton that I’m most glad to see. How is the mite situation on Church of Gail? How far along are we on the evacuations?”

“The mite situation on Church of Gail is stabilized, Brent,” he reported with a robotic calm, “the evacuations are underway, and should be complete within the hour.”

“Excellent!” I patted his shoulders, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sun Tzu. We’re going to really need you right now. More than ever.”

Sun Tzu gave an obedient bow.

“Let’s finish getting everyone safe and treated for mites,” I ordered, “then we’ll need to get together for a think tank about how we’re going to get rid of these things for good.”

I am writing to you now, safe beside you in our apartment. You are asleep in bed with me, and I have freshly finished with all of my humping. I will resume the humping shortly, but for now, I am simply adoring watching you sleep.

There are black storm clouds stirring on the horizons of our very existence. Your love for me has given me hope in darkness, and a light at the end of despair. I will fight through the pits of hell to keep you happy, safe, and in my arms, even if it means going to war with the very forces threatening to tear the fabric of this universe apart. I will always protect you.

I pray now to God to Father, asking Him for grace. Give me time Father, is all that I ask. Before you erase this realm in a cleanse of raging fire, allow me just one chance to prove myself — and save the universe.

I promise I won’t let you down.

Your husband,
Brent Spiner

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