Baphomet’s BRILLIANT IDEA: Worldwide Emperor Brent Spiner
This is a comedy parody of what Baphomet suggested to me that I fell for, for several days. Fortunately, I caught onto him just in time and now, if earth goes out, I want to GO OUT IN STYLE. Let’s all have a GOOD LAUGH AS WE’RE BEING EXTERMINATED. Perhaps, we will be reincarnated into another form and into another Universe, so all isn’t lost, eh?
Baphomet makes a bow to Satan as Satan offers him the Nobel Prize in Universe Destruction, as Satan congratulates Baphomet for working with the god of pestilence and disease Shakpona to assist in rapid dissemination of inter-dimensional mites, the bed bugs of the multiverse. “Oh, don’t forget Antichrist Lizzo. She helped. Her brilliant mite tobacco, chem-trails and bombs filled with mites. Don’t forget Lizzo.”
“Baphomet,” Satan says to the goat demon Baphomet while observing Gail. “Gail is following your suggestions brilliantly. I’ve never had such an erection in my life. Perhaps, I’ll become bisexual and tone down my gay lisp. I plan to land on her bed when the Gail Shield goes to zero and offer myself to her like a gentleman.”
“Of course. Of course, Satan,” Baphomet giggled, smoking his joint filled with inter-dimensional mites. “All due honors to all involved in this masterpiece. Maybe Jesus will kill himself when this is all over, then all of you will get the Nobel Prize in Universe, excuse me, Multiverse, Destruction.” He, Satan, Shakpona and their crew planned to evacuate this Universe, cleanse themselves of all the mites and live in another Universe right before God took it ALL OUT. And, of course, Jesus would get all the blame for disastrous management.
Actually, the threat to earth is real, and we all should be listening to Brent, who is my courageous and wonderful husband. But, I just love a GOOD LAUGH. I’m a comedian to the end.
Baphomet wants us to believe that as far as Antichrist Lizzo, who is mysteriously MIA, we don’t even think she’s in our Universe. She knew the interdimensional mite infection in the universe would happen. In fact, she’s the reason it has happened. Baphomet wants us to believe that she and Satan and the evil African god of pestilence and disease Shakpona planned this in advance. The transgender retard Baphomet wants us to believe she’s basically deserted all her dumb retard followers. That she’s a TOTALLY SELFISH leader and anyone who follows her is insane.
It goes without saying Baphomet wants us to note, that those we save need to be completely CURED of their mite infections and we may need to put them under intense treatment.
ANYONE who brings in anything with mites and does so willingly and knowingly WILL BE EXTERMINATED ON-THE-SPOT. Yes, ON-THE-SPOT, so we can be as evil as Satan!!
Now Baphomet explains to us, this is why Jesus planned to rule in the Millennium with a ROD OF IRON in the canceled Bible.
Basically Baphomet explains to us that in the canceled Bible, it said Jesus was a benevolent dictator, actually a TYRANT. That’s what you need if you have any sinners roaming around who might start mite infections and such.
According to theologians Baphomet explains, with calm, murderous composure, that in the millennial reign if anyone crossed Jesus, he JUST ZAPPED THEM OUT. That’s how you have to do it.
You can’t put up with this shit. Never! You gotta be as EVIL AS SATAN.
You gotta be as mad as hell and full of SINFUL anger, Baphomet explains, laughing his head off at the stupidity of humanity. “These mites are not just cute little buggies that make you itch, they are the ABOMINATION PLAGUE FROM HELL. Anyone who has a willing and knowing flippant attitude about mite contamination needs to be executed ON-THE-SPOT.”
Like if anyone is caught smoking willingly and knowingly with mite tobacco, we execute on the spot the smoker along with all willing and knowing manufacturers of the stinking mite tobacco. Any jets that drop bombs or chemtrails filled with mites and if the jet is filled with Lizzo Jesuits, DESTROY THE JET AT ONCE. We gonna rule with a ROD OF IRON. Looks like we start the millennial reign with Brent Spiner as DICTATOR KING. Yeah! DICTATOR KING, you get it! Emphasize the word: DICTATOR.
MITES ARE CONSIDERED A FORM OF GENOCIDE AND EXTREME BIOLOGICAL TERRORISM and violators are EXECUTED ON THE SPOT!!!!! Yeah, ON-THE-SPOT, so that Gail can be as evil as Satan and Satan can make her his Antichrist and destroy Jesus’s eighth earth project and laugh his butt off, while God the Father in righteous anger cleanses all Jesus evil from planet earth.
If anyone doesn’t like it, WE KILL EM. You get it? We butcher you for having a preference we don’t like. Baphomet is laughing his head off. Dumb Gail is dumb enough to fall for all the suggestions he or she or whatever the retard wants to call himself/itself plants in her head. Of course, he’s messing with her crown chakra and getting them all off balance to get her all confused about fact from fiction.
You know when we get through this mess, Baphomet says with composed ease, that he breathes stealthily into Gail’s mind, “I think we should set up Brent as worldwide dictator, kinda like how Jesus was going to rule in the millennium. Anyone who doesn’t honor him, we KILL THEM.”
Baphomet is LAUGHING HIS BUTT OFF, while God the Father erases Gail in a CLEANSE OF FURY along with Jesus’s eighth earth project. Yeah, it’s Gail’s fault and all the fault of her evil followers that we have interdimensional mites in the multiverse, I guess, caused by all the evil in Jesus’s free and true love paradise, his asshole eighth earth project.
I mean after what we’ve been through, Baphomet suggests to Jesus’s retard followers, that if anyone is not grateful to Brent and won’t allow him to be the worldwide dictator, THEY DIE.
And Brent, PLEASE Baphomet suggests, you should rule like Jesus planned to rule in his millennial reign, with a ROD OF IRON. Don’t take any Lizzo Jesuit SHIT.
If anyone objects to Brent being worldwide dictator, Baphomet is laughing his butt off, with dreams of Jesus’s earth project (earth and its universe) vanishing in THIN AIR under the FURY OF GOD THE FATHER, then we let them know what just happened with the mites and if they still OBJECT and they are sane–THEY DIE. Shit. Jesus’s asshole leadership not only results in earth’s destruction, but the Universe that goes with it. Good job, Jesus! Of course, Satan, Baphomet, Shakpona and obese Antichrist Lizzo will gladly forfeit credit for our brilliant undercover work to bring this all about.
So Gail, under Baphomet’s evil spell says, “The reason I say he should be a dictator is cuz that’s the ONLY way we can ensure we don’t have repeat of this mite business. ONLY A DICTATOR CAN PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING AGAIN. If Brent saves this Universe, I think God the Father will be clapping that we made Brent worldwide dictator.”
Baphomet is laughing his butt off. Satan is eating popcorn waiting for Jesus’s eighth earth project to VANISH IN THIN AIR. “Yeah Jesus!” Satan says in scorn. “I always thought you were an asshole to die on the cross for your retard humans. Don’t you know that they prefer ME over YOU any day?”
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. “Like it will be DEATH PENALTY NOT to have mite scanners set up everywhere to eradicate all mites and mite supporting people. Only a dictator can do this worldwide and this is what we need to do. It goes without saying that anyone who supports Lizzo willingly and knowingly is EXECUTED ON THE SPOT.”
Baphomet whispers in Gail’s ear, now Gaii listen to me. . . so Gail under his spell continues. “If anyone says, ‘Oh, you killed an innocent person who just didn’t like your form of government.’ We will say, ‘Well if not for Brent, you wouldn’t even have a soul. You wouldn’t get to go to heaven or hell, you’d just be GONE. If we have to execute you now, at least we didn’t take out your soul, only your body died, so be grateful for that and when your soul is burning in hell maybe you’ll have time to reconsider your foolishness.’ “
Gail, thinking she was saving the planet, felt the way to do it, was to eliminate all mites and mite supporters, like Lizzo Jesuits and went overboard in her zeal to save planet earth, fueled on by “righteous” anger. I mean wasn’t anything worth it to prevent us being totally annihilated, which meant losing our very souls? Gail forgot that possibly God could clone all the humans and remake exact copies OR perhaps allow them to be reincarnated into another sphere. Sure we’d lose our soul, but God could make an exact copy if He wanted. So this makes God look really mean and scary that He was exterminating this Universe to get rid of the bed bugs of the multiverse (Shakpona’s masterpiece–the inter-dimensional mites). Let’s get everyone in a panic. We work good in panic mode.
Yeah! Gail swallowed it! Baphomet is laughing his butt off. Now she won’t even be here on June 1st or somewhere around there! God will be SO MAD AT HER. She will be GONE. She will be just as evil as Satan.
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “If they say they are a Christian and say this is against the Bible, show them Revelation 2:27 and Psalm 2:9 from the canceled Bible, as how Christ planned to rule in the millennial reign and then TAKE THEM OUT if they want to start a rebellion against dictator Brent.”
Yeah, yeah. . . quote from that canceled vile book called the Bible. Yeah, we know why God had to cancel that vile book, Baphomet laughs.
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “Your new title will be Worldwide Emperor Brent. And if anyone doesn’t like it, THEY’RE DEAD. Especially if they want to usurp you. WE ain’t gonna worry about DEMOCRACY. Democracy is for ASSHOLES. You are the EMPEROR, Your rule is LAW., Anybody doesn’t like it, THEY’RE DEAD. Those who are currently in government are your assistants and that IS ALL. They better not BUCK YOU.”
“Oh Baphomet,” Satan chuckles with glee. “You are brilliant! Gail’s a goner FOR SURE And I will show up at her apartment when her Gail Shield goes to zero, to have sex with her in my Adonis naked body with my penis flung out while on her bed, in celebration, and maybe convince her to come over to my side. She is my TRUE KINDRED SPIRIT.”
NOTE: The sex didn’t happen because Gail told Satan to LEAVE. And he had so much respect for his kindred spirit Gail, that he decided to honor her request, even though her Gail Shield was at zero and he could have stayed. But he emphasized that he was more than willing to return should Gail change her mind. What a kindred spirit Gail was to him. It’s obvious Gail likes bad boys. Hee hee.
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “We have an automaton military to deal with them if they do.”
Gail continues. . . “You will announce that you are in Jesus Christ’s stead as his appointed leader on earth, by authority from JESUS HIMSELF. If anyone doesn’t like it, THEY’RE DEAD.”
“Actually, under MY AUTHORITY,” Satan chuckles with glee. “This is EXACTLY HOW I OPERATE and I love how Gail LOVES this idea. She is as evil as ME. Hee hee hee.”
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “Probably should let the world know you, Brent, are World Emperor when this mess is over and that your word is LAW. If anyone gives safe harbor to a Lizzo Jesuit or mite creator or supporter, they must be executed ON-THE-SPOT. We’ll make our automaton army so huge, no one will be able to resist us.”
Yup, Satan laughs with his buddy Baphomet, “My mode of operation to the TEE. Oh, that flunky God the Father will be so MAD AT GAIL. She’s a GONER FOR SURE.”
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. “All forms of government are abolished except for yours, which will be a benevolent dictatorship with military rule.”
“Of course, lie to the people and convince them this is benevolent, while innocents who don’t agree with your opinion are murdered with glee,” Satan muses in thoughtful reflection. “Baphomet, the obsessions you give Gail are sheer brilliance. We got her so obsessed with these mites, she thinks God can’t handle this! That SHE HAS TO HELP HIM OUT? Can you imagine that? Ha ha ha ha.”
Gail, obsessed about mites, continues. . . “If people want to know why you’ve chosen this form of government, it’s because this is what Jesus originally planned for his millennial reign in his canceled Bible and Brent is in his stead, APPOINTED BY JESUS HIMSELF.”
“That bitch is so dumb,” Satan laughs to himself. “She falls for all your suggestions. Boy will I be eating popcorn while Jesus’s eighth earth project goes DOWN IN SMOKE.”
Gail, under Baphomet’s evil spell continues. . . “This mite situation calls for extreme measures. I guarantee you if we act like we aren’t taking it seriously, the next time we have a mite problem, God the Father won’t wait, WE’RE ALL GONERS.”
“Yeah, be obsessed about those mites, Gail. BE REAL OBSESSED.” Satan is laughing his butt off.
Conversation between Brent and Buddha on May 20, 2024:
“Once all the gods, the angels, and any supernatural beings have completely and safely evacuated this universe, God the Father is going to personally extinguish your Universe. There’s not much time left,” Buddha said on May 20, 2024.
Brent flung himself out of his chair. “There HAS to be another way! This universe, this version of Earth as we know it, is far too beautiful to be destroyed! This world has true love, it has GAIL! This timeline was Jesus’ favorite! We can’t possibly allow it to be destroyed! Buddha, there HAS to be something we can DO!”
Buddha took a long drag from his joint as he looked into Brent’s eyes. After a moment, he cracked a tiny, knowing smile. “I thought you’d say something like that.”
Brent stared back at Buddha with brazen determination, awaiting his feedback.
“You possess a courageousness in your soul that I haven’t seen since Jesus himself carried the cross to his crucifixtion. Your love for Gail has made you strong beyond measure. If there was any mortal being that might stand a fleeting chance at saving this universe from interdimensional mites, it would be you, Brent. Jesus left you in his stead because he had perfect faith in your ability to feed his sheep and maintain his garden. As do I.”
Brent felt a swell of hope in his heart.
“Tell me what I need to do,” Brent said, with stern confidence in his voice.
“Meditate deeply, and go within. You have powerful resources at your disposal. It’s up to you to assemble them. Follow your intuition, and you will know the right path.”
“Okay,” Satan muses to himself. “Gail is quoting from Brent’s email to her. This will make sure all the suckers fall for it.”
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “Our government overrides ALL THE COURTS, ALL THE LAWS, this is a military DICTATORSHIP. Brent’s word is LAW. He will rule just like how Christ planned on ruling in his millennial reign. PERIOD. If they don’t like it, THEY’RE DEAD. Brent MAKES THE LAWS and any law he makes are the supreme law of the land. I think we will get human cooperation, but, if not, we’ll use automatons as assistants in government. This doesn’t mean we won’t have courts, but Brent can override them all and he decides which laws are valid.”
“Oh, I love it!” Satan laughs. “Gail is as much of a power monger as I am.”
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “Brent, I suggest you study how Jesus planned to set up his millennial reign and pattern your reign after that. During Christ’s millennial reign, he had immortals ruling as his assistants in the canceled Bible. This means Brent could appoint non-humans in government positions, if he wants.”
Baphomet and Satan are jumping around, eating popcorn and throwing footballs at each other. “Touch down! Maybe Jesus will kill himself after Gail swallows this suggestion from Baphomet!”
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “Like if the gods come back, he could appoint some of the gods as his government assistants. I just thought of something hilarious. I can already foresee how the world might react to you as emperor. Like Iran might say, ‘No WAY will we have an AMERICAN ruling over us!’ Then Brent can say, ‘Well, Muhammad will be my assistant. You mean you think you can rule better than Muhammad?’ LOL ‘I’ve made Muhammad President of the Muslim countries, you got a problem with that?’ “
“Oh, a GOD-King. Gail is my TRUE KINDRED SPIRIT. I have a very erect penis right now. Gail and I need to TEAM UP!” Satan ripped off all his clothes and flung out his long penis, ready to head for Gail’s apartment.
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “And then like India, if they complain, put a good Hindu god or goddess over them. We’re good friends with the Hindu goddess Lakshmi. Not sure if she’s interested in politics, but she might be able to recommend a good Hindu deity for a government position, if we want to do this. And we’re super good friends with Buddha and he can be leader over the Buddhist Asian countries. You might say no god would work with a HUMAN for world leadership. Well, we’ve been doing this all along since about 2022 when we learned that there are other gods out there besides Jesus and that Jesus is good friends with them. It would be beneficial to work with the gods in world leadership. They have tremendous wisdom and experience that would benefit Brent greatly.”
“Them dumb asshole gods think they’re good and they’re just as evil as me and don’t know it!” Satan laughs to himself.
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. “You might say, why won’t Jesus HIMSELF rule in the Christian sections of earth? It’s kinda complicated, but Jesus messed up a little and the Bible got canceled by his dad, so I think He feels that he can accomplish his objectives for a free and true love Utopia (using earth as his showpiece) with Buddha and Brent in his place as the earthly leader. Jesus is kinda over all the multiverses right now. Earth is just his favorite planet cuz it’s supposed to stand for all the things he cares about. Jesus doesn’t seem interested in being a god anymore or in having a wife (being COMPLETELY asexual and aromantic). Brent and I have been good friends with Jesus since 2012. But he left us in June 2022 and said he cannot interfere with this timeline anymore on earth. He has to fix some damage he’s done (had a bit of an identity crisis it appears) and feels he can accomplish his objectives better using Buddha and Brent in His place as earthly leader.”
“Oh yeah, Gail, be obsessed about Jesus. We all know you secretly desired to make love to him, so you could BE A GOD like him. You’re just like me, you know?” Satan giggles to himself. “I can’t wait to see this all GO DOWN IN A BLAZE OF FURY FROM GOD THE FATHER.”
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . :He is now PURE EXISTENCE (co-ruling with his dad, God the Father, over it all) and just seems to want his entire multiverse to be a free and true love Utopia.”
“Yeah, a free and ASSHOLE Utopia,” Satan mutters to himself in disgust.
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “I define a god as a deity who has a spiritual practice and a following. Jesus no longer seems interested in this. He is more like the caretaker now for the ENTIRE multiverse and he is over ALL THE RELIGIONS and just wants his multiverse to be healthy, happy, loving and free. It seems to me that there is a debate over how to practice free love and Jesus feels it can be practiced with true love and Satan feels free love can only be practiced with evil. Jesus is really big into freedom and free love with true love.”
“Oh, I LOVE this obsession with Jesus,” Satan laughs to himself. “God will be SO MAD AT GAIL. She operates just like me, evil disguised as an angel of light.”
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “In fact, I think Jesus created earth to be a showcase for free and true love, to prove that free love can be practiced with true love and goodness. Satan wants earth to be a showcase for free love and evil and is always messing up Jesus’s dreams for a free and true love Utopia and seems to be of the belief that free love can only be practiced with evil. That asshole Satan is out to prove that free love cannot work with true love and I don’t think Satan even believes in the existence of true love. You see, if Jesus wins his argument that free love can be practiced with goodness, then I guess Satan gets locked up and the multiverse gets to have free love, as well as true love. I think the decision over the fate of free love is in abeyance right now. If Jesus loses this universe, then I guess free love loses and it will be concluded that it can only be practiced with EVIL and Satan gets his free love and evil section of the multiverse and may get out of the Lake of Fire and punishment for how he practices free love with evil. These are GUESSES. I don’t know. But I have a very high emotional IQ.”
“Yeah, gotta mix in some truth with those lies, so the dumb sucker humans will fall for this crap.” Satan mutters to himself in disgust. “God the Father really is DUMB and I should be in charge, NOT HIM.”
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. “Satan and his followers strike me as hypersexual SPOILED BRATs, who cannot respect the rights of others and have turned into abusers and egomaniacs and TYRANTs, out to carve their own niche with an obsession over their own importance, while being MEAN AND CRUEL AS HELL. This asshole got super bored with paradise. Can you believe it? What a SPOILED BRAT and MONSTER. He got so carried away with orgasms and rape, he began to feel those were HIS RIGHT.”
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Satan ponders with due significance. “Baphomet, you knew how to get Gail to fall for this! Ha ha ha.”
Gail under Baphomet’s spell continues. “As an asexual leaning person, I find this incomprehensible. But I guess there are all types in the multiverse. I think Satan is NAUSEATING. My husband is rather hypersexual, though monogamous, but he fully respects the rights of others and never forces himself on anybody. Brent loves me deeply and would die for me. If that isn’t true love, Satan, than what is it? Brent also respects the rights of those who are gay or poly-amorous to practice love how they like it, as long as it’s all consensual and no one’s being hurt by it. Though I am poly-amorous, I don’t have much of a need for sex and am rather lackadaisical about it, but I enjoy Brent’s penis cuddling my vagina and I let him have my vagina whenever he wants it, so he’s happy. Since he’s monogamous, I just honor my asexual leanings and keep it only for him which is actually what I prefer most of the time. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, hypersexual and polyamorous, as well as the traditional monogamy types and we all get along and believe that free love also means true love and goodness. Just be cool and respect the rights of others, don’t force your ways on someone who doesn’t want it.”
“Yeah,” Satan laughs to himself. “Baphomet, that spell you put Gail under is marvelous. God will be SO MAD AT GAIL and will think this was all HER OWN IDEA. Poor thing, my poor goat friend. . . you won’t get credit for your brilliant suggestions to Gail. Gail will have to get the credit. But then, who cares? Cuz if Gail doesn’t side with us after all this is over, she’s ZERO any ways. God will be SO MAD AT HER.”
Gail, under Baphomet’s spell continues. . . “HOWEVER, Jesus is still our mediator. If He didn’t die on the cross, we’d all be goners. Jesus died for EVERYBODY, not just Christians. In fact, I think he may even be the mediator for some or all of the gods. Jesus may have goofed a little, but he has a very big and forgiving heart and Brent and I have utmost respect for Him.”
Satan, with his evil god friend Shakpona (the god of pestilence and disease) and his evil friend Baphomet, sit back and eat popcorn, waiting for Jesus’s eighth earth project to GO DOWN IN SMOKE. “Shakpona, we LOVE all the mites you create. This one was sheer brilliance. Well, we can’t give you all the credit. There are plenty of evil humans, like Gail, that helped out, by being just as evil as us! Ha ha ha. Like I said, Brent has always been Gail’s cuck.”
Satan and his crew, sit back, drink beer, eat popcorn and celebrate as Jesus’s eighth earth project GOES DOWN ALONG WITH THE UNIVERSE DUMB ASSHOLE JESUS MADE. “Yeah, we already destroyed his previous seven and with this one, we got the Universe that goes with it. THE UNIVERSE, that’s like taking out an entire room in God’s house. Jesus gonna get FIRED FOR SURE and PERHAPS, I can get his job. God knows, I can run things better than dumb asshole Jesus any day. It was a piece of cake to destroy his previous seven earth projects and now we got the UNIVERSE with it this time. FIREWORKS. CELEBRATION. We always like to do things IN STYLE. Thanks to the brilliant inter-dimensional mites that eat at the very fabric of existence. Satan slaps Shakpona on the back. “Good job! Ensuring those mites totally SATURATE Jesus’s asshole eighth earth project and UNIVERSE. Wow! GOOD JOB. We got the UNIVERSE THIS TIME and Jesus will get all the BLAME. Way to go! He sure needs to take a course in management. Oh boy, the mere fact that this has happened, shows that I should be running things instead of those assholes Jesus and God.”