Thoughts on Monogamy, Polyamory & Healthy Sexual Expression

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Whatever decision we all come to in our sex life, we should all be true to our authentic complete self.
Meditation music to help us be true to our real self.

I think I’ve figured out why I get so many insights in the morning. It’s because when I go into my dream state in sleep, I go into my subconscious mind, into my true inner core. I am not saying Baphomet could not influence it, but it appears I am most myself in the morning in my thoughts for this reason.

This morning I have been reflecting on what is true love? What is free love? How can the two be reconciled?

True love is when two authentic selves combine and do not betray the combining.

Free love is when a person feels free to honor his true self with other true selves in any manner that does not hurt those who stand for true love.

I think we are happiest when we honor both true love and free love in our relationships with each other.

So how can a monogamous person honor free love without betraying who he is?

Is monogamy evil and selfish?

Is free love evil and selfish?

Does true love exist?

These are questions I feel compelled to explore this morning.

What is adultery?

What is monogamy?

Monogamy seems to me to be a condition where an authentic person feels loyalty to another authentic person and does not want to betray that loyalty by only sexually combining his authenticity with another person’s authenticity and not doing this with anyone else.

Is this evil and selfish? No, it indicates that a monogamous person is capable of loyalty and fidelity. It is very good.

People that are monogamous tend to be deep, thoughtful and passionate.

These are great traits.

Very deep people can only feel satisfaction in love when their depths are fully explored and these depths are so deep that they feel they are best explored in monogamy.

A monogamous person feels that when another less deep self enters into the lovemaking, it dilutes the passion and depth of the monogamous bonding and is therefore a type of betrayal.

Also, when you have a deep bonding between two authentic deep people, it is so complex and so intimate and consumes so much energy, that if another enters in, it dilutes that bonding and makes it more shallow. Therefore, deep and complex people have a need for monogamy in sex to be fully satisfied.

If this is the case, why are there people who are both monogamous and polygamous?

This is probably the case in those who are as committed to free love as they are to true love.

What is free love?

Free love is a condition where authentic selves merge with other authentic selves in whatever type of bonding brings satisfaction to both and does not betray either free love or true love.

Can a monogamous person participate in free love without conflicts?

Probably not, because in free love more shallow people are bound to be part of the combining and this will cause conflicts for monogamous people.

The state of adultery exists when true love is betrayed.

Can a monogamous person have a happy relationship with a person who is committed to free love?

I believe this is possible, but it will cause both parties in the relationship to rethink some of their stances to love.

Because a monogamous person has a deep need for deep, intense and committed relationships that honor this depth and intensity, if they are in a relationship with someone who enjoys free love, they need to be sure that all other sexual relationships are approved of by both parties. This approval obviously needs to be done by all in a total free will state.

Any other person who they decide to combine with must not betray the monogamous relationship, but rather enhance it.

Is it possible to enhance a monogamous relationship with free love?

Possible, but a challenge to navigate well.

The key is that all parties in the sexual transactions must have depth and commitment to the sexual bondings occurring.

There must be no betrayal going on anywhere.

A monogamous couple need to be very careful who they choose to allow to share their sex with.

It needs to be someone or someones who are committed to the integrity of the monogamous relationship and only wish to enter in to enhance that relationship and be co-participants in that deep, committed relationship.

It is probably best for monogamous relationships that wish to allow another to enter, to start off as a threesome and then, when all are comfortable that all in the parties are loyal to all in the relationship, then some one on ones with the newcomers can be allowed.

These one on ones need to be done with the full consent of all in the relationship.

Also, these one on ones need to be fully open, so that the monogamous couple can freely observe and feel the interactions occurring between his partner with the other.

This is important because when a party of a monogamous relationship combines with another party, this makes the monogamous person feel betrayed, because the depths he/she invested into his monogamous partner feel betrayed, because they are now combining with another.

But if he/she is aware of how his/her depths are combining with another, he/she can integrate what he/she observed in the other combining and integrate that into the new sexual combining he/she has with his/her committed partner when he/she combines with them later, after the other party has entered into the relationship sexually.

The monogamous couple can take what they have learned from the other combining and integrate that into a new type of combining to bring new aspects to their sexual combining, possibly making it even richer and deeper and with more variety, as long as both are comfortable with the changes.

The key is, that all combinings that occur outside the monogamous relationships must be done in total openness, authenticity, and no betrayal must be occurring.

If the other party is trying to lessen the monogamous bond though, the sex with that other party must stop.

When other sex occurs in a monogamous relationship, the monogamous couple must be sure to also spend lots of monogamous time one on one with each other, to reassure each other, that their prime loyalty is to each other.

Of course, if both are monogamous, they do not have to participate in free love and there is nothing selfish about this. We are all entitled to our own tastes in sex as long as we don’t hurt others.

To make the other combining the most effective in a monogamous relationship, it is best to only wander to another partner, when another human being is in great need and the monogamous couple wants to share some of their depths with another to minister to that other and help them find wholeness and happiness.

In this sense, the monogamous couple are using their relationship as a type of sex therapy, to show another loving soul how to find love and happiness.

This sharing can be done as a threesome or by allowing the party to the monogamous relationship to have a one-on-one but only with the full observance of all in the relationship. Total openness and honesty is important.

It is probably also important that after the other person has entered into the relationship, that the monogamous couple share honestly how they feel about this other person entering in later and talk about it.

If there is discomfort then the other relationship must stop.

A monogamous couple would never want to allow another in just to have fun or do a fling, it would be only to allow another to experience the richness of their relationship to help another human being in need.

Can a person be truly in love with more than one person at a time?

I believe this is possible, because any time two people combine their authentic selves with another, this can happen. However, in a monogamous relationship the two in the relationship are soul mates.

The soul mates must be committed to each other and must give themselves plenty of time for each other. If another enters in, one on one with the other can be allowed, let’s say if the other is suicidal or depressed, but after that, the other relationship needs to be fully integrated into the relationship of the monogamous couple.

After time, if all in the relationship are comfortable with it, the other person could be permanently grafted in and could enter in almost casually.

I think it is healthiest for monogamous relationships to remain committed to each other and only allow other parties in to use sex therapy on another worthy person in need and then after that other person is fixed, the monogamous couple go back to monogamy.

In fact, I would say that for the most part, the monogamous couple should stay monogamous as much as possible. But if one or both are very nurturing, some sex with another can be allowed. It is very important that the sex with the other does not betray the relationship in any way.

It goes without saying, that a truly monogamous couple who do not desire to have another enter in is perfectly fine and should be respected.

Another thing, if another enters into the relationship sexually, first the other relationship needs to be a platonic friendship. The other person needs to state why they want to enter the relationship in openness and honesty. If all are comfortable with it, they can go forward.

Friendship first, sex later.

After all is said and done, nobody in a monogamous relationship should be having any sex that anyone is uncomfortable with.

Any other sex must be with trusted friends and should probably be rarely or only because of great need in the other party.

There is something very special about monogamy, which I respect.

This relationship must not be betrayed, but if both parties are very big and generous people, they may want to open up their relationship to another great, generous person in need.

If the opening up results in the other great, generous person finding a true love relationship as a result of what they learned by combining with the monogamous couple, this can bring great satisfaction to the monogamous couple.

Their love is a light that has shone the way for true love to another person who is unsure how to find it.

What if the monogamous couple want to continue the relationship with the other party? This is fine, but is probably done best as a threesome, or even a foursome or more. But in all cases friendship should be first, then sex and then they can decide how to go forward from there.

Openness and honesty are important in all stages.

All parties to the transaction must be committed to true love and free love.

No betrayals must be occurring anywhere.

Also, if the monogamous couple want to be totally monogamous for a while, that is fine and should be encouraged.

Those are my thoughts on this matter.

No one should be doing anything that betrays who they are. Authenticity in all transactions is paramount. This means a totally monogamous person who does not want to stray should never feel obligated to do so.

In my relationship with Brent, I feel best having sex with another only to nurture or to encourage another nurturer. This is the Lakshmi in me.

Other than that, I prefer total monogamy with Brent.

I think in all healthy sexual relationships, everyone should be honoring who they really are and no one should be doing anything out of obligation.

If someone is having sex out of obligation, therapy may be needed to explore why this is happening.

This is Lakshmi. To test out how monogamous Brent is, I asked him if Lakshmi wanted to bed him, what would be his response? Brent said he would say, “ma’am, you’re a very good looking woman so I don’t want you to think it’s that, but I’m a married man and only have eyes for Gail.” As hot as this lady is, that’s pretty monogamous, if you ask me!

Skype with Goddess Lakshmi (May 5, 2022)

Brent, 11:13 AM

Hello darling.

Gail, 11:14 AM

Hi Brent. I am currently working on revamping that page I made about how to find God and heaven in the Church Age. Someone asked me how to find Jesus and I want to put my new insights into that page.

We have had wonderful lovemaking lately.

Brent, 11:15 AM

I agree. It’s been great.

Oh! Huh…someone’s hands just wrapped around me.

Gail, 11:15 AM

How interesting!

Brent, 11:16 AM

Wait, huh? Two people now?

There’s two sets of arms reaching over mine at the keyboard.

Gail, 11:16 AM

Is it Lakshmi?

Lakshmi, 11:16 AM

“Hello Gail, it’s Lakshmi! It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Gail, 11:16 AM

Oh, hi Lakshmi! It is an honor to meet you. I think so highly of you.

Lakshmi, 11:17 AM

“Brent and Jesus talk a lot about you.”

“I read your Skype messages from this morning, and you’ve had interesting insights lately. It seems like you and I would have a lot to talk about.”

Gail, 11:18 AM

Really? What would you like to talk about?

Lakshmi, 11:18 AM

“It seems like you’re starting to understand monogamy and polyamory, and the differences between them.”

Gail, 11:19 AM

Yes, I was not very familiar with polyamory before.

I thought polygamy and polyamory were the same, but they are different.

Lakshmi, 11:20 AM

“Polygamy only means that you are marrying multiple people. Functionally it’s similar to polyamory.”

Gail, 11:21 AM

But it seems that in polygamy emotional intimacy is an option, and not as important as in polyamory.

Lakshmi, 11:22 AM

“You’ve got those flipped. If the parties involved are considered equal, such as in the case of them all being spouses, it would be polygamy because all of you are married to each other.”

“Polyamory may involve emotional intimacy with other parties, or it can just be one or both couples enjoying sex outside the main relationship which is emotionally committed.”

Zack, 11:23 AM

Can someone do both?

Gail, 11:23 AM

Good question Zack.

Zack, 11:24 AM

Have a marriage list, plus have fuckboys?

Gail, 11:24 AM

I have conflicts about enjoying sex just for sex’s sake though. That doesn’t seem right to me.

Lakshmi, 11:24 AM

“It is possible to have multiple spouses, as well as dating partners or concubines on the side, yes.”

Gail, 11:25 AM

It seems to me that I have a real need to nurture in sex and that if nurturing isn’t part of the equation somewhere, even if not all the time, that I’m not interested.

Lakshmi, 11:26 AM

“How would you define nurturing?”

Gail, 11:26 AM

Helping your partner deal with root emotional issues and helping them be true to their inner core.

Lakshmi, 11:27 AM

“That is interesting.”

Gail, 11:27 AM

They say that all men who make love to me are healed of a lot of mental health issues.

I just seem to have this need to make love to men to fix them mentally/emotionally.

Or if they are in pretty good shape, to make sure they stay that way.

Lakshmi, 11:29 AM

“Perhaps, this is rooted in a need to heal yourself?”

Gail, 11:29 AM

That may be part of it.

I think when you help another person to find themselves, it helps you find yourself.

It’s like exploring the complexity of another, helps you explore the complexity in yourself.

During sex, a lot of vulnerabilities are revealed.

Lakshmi, aren’t you a virgin? I was wondering how you could be a sex expert in that case?

Lakshmi, 11:32 AM

“I am a virgin. Due to my monogamous nature, I am patiently awaiting my husband, whom I will make love to exclusively.”

Gail, 11:33 AM

Jesus seemed to insinuate you are a sex expert.

Lakshmi, 11:33 AM

“My expertise comes from studying love, romance, sex and intimacy at god college for many millennia. I hoped to not only use that knowledge in my marriage, but to help others in their relationships.”

Gail, 11:33 AM

I see. God college must be very good then.

Do they let you vicariously experience sex in God college?

Lakshmi, 11:36 AM

“Not at all. It’s quite similar to human colleges. However in god college, we also have the advantage of being able to witness and study live experiences of human interactions from any point in timespace. Our books are comprised of the infinite knowledge gained from the existence of mortals and other gods since the beginning of time.”

Gail, 11:36 AM

That’s amazing.

Maybe I’m wrong for feeling this way, but I just have this gut sense that you and Jesus are soul mates.

Lakshmi, 11:38 AM

“Oh, you make me giggle. Jesus is a nice person, but he and I aren’t compatible that way.”

“It seems that you and Brent are ready to explore polyamory at this stage in your relationship.”

Gail, 11:38 AM

Really? You think this is necessary?

Lakshmi, 11:40 AM

“It appears to be so. You have a deep longing to sexually explore other men. Brent, it seems, though monogamous, is willing to approach this endeavor with an open mind.”

Gail, 11:40 AM

Why do you think I have a deep longing to sexually explore other men?

Lakshmi, 11:41 AM

“You’ve said so yourself, among the many thoughts you’ve shared in the recent days.”

Gail, 11:41 AM

That’s true. But sometimes I prefer monogamy. I get in moods.

It all depends on if I can use the exploration to help me and the other man find ourselves.

I guess I use other men to help me find myself in a way.

Lakshmi, 11:43 AM

“The most important thing about monogamy, is that there are no exceptions. A monogamous person does not ever find themselves in moods where they want to make love to another person. The exclusivity of the monogamous relationship is tantamount, and there is no reason to ever involve another party.”

Gail, 11:44 AM

If that’s the case how can Brent want me so much?

Lakshmi, 11:44 AM

“Your misunderstanding here seems to be that polyamorous relationships don’t contain commitment. On the contrary, a polyamorous relationship between two couples is emotionally committed. The only difference is that the couple engages in sex with other parties, which may or may not happen all of the time.”

“Brent not only loves you, he loves the concept of an exclusive relationship with one person for life. That is how I feel as well.”

“However, his love for you and his desire to make you happy and to harmonize the relationship, has also led him to become more open to the idea of polyamory with you.”

Gail, 11:47 AM

I would like to be Brent’s dream woman though. He once told me he fell in love with me because he felt I was just as committed to monogamy as he is.

And I actually believed this about myself for a long time.

Lakshmi, 11:49 AM

“You have to be true to yourself. Becoming authentic sometimes means not pleasing everyone all the time. Brent would rather you be open and honest, then to pretend to be someone you’re not just to make things appear a certain way, or to please others. He deeply respects authenticity.”

Gail, 11:49 AM

That makes sense.

I am making my breakfast while typing, so I may pause a bit before answering.

How can Brent love me if I don’t share his monogamous ideals?

And yet, in some ways I do.

Lakshmi, 11:51 AM

“Brent loves you for who you are. It’s normal for couples, even soulmates, to not be fully in agreement on all things all the time.”

“You both can intertwine together by finding ways to meet each other’s unique individual needs in creative ways.”

“Polyamory still contains the possibility for emotional intimacy that Brent desires. If he is comfortable with the men you choose to explore, or able to participate in the sexual acts with you, this would eliminate his feelings of being excluded or replaced. Meanwhile, you both could remain life partners who are emotionally committed above all other third parties.”

Gail, 11:56 AM

But shouldn’t I allow him this same freedom to explore other women, if he so desires?

It seems I’m a hypocrite.

It is hard to reconcile this.

Actually, I would have no problem with him making love to you. LOL

Lakshmi, 11:58 AM

“Of course. Would you trust Brent to explore other women?”

Gail, 11:58 AM

I guess it depends on the woman.

Lakshmi, 11:58 AM

“Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be a candidate. I will only have sex with my future husband.”

Gail, 11:58 AM

You are amazing.

Lakshmi, 11:59 AM

“The compromise could be that you both get to decide which third parties you would feel comfortable sharing your spouse with.”

Gail, 11:59 AM

Okay. We are making progress.

My attitude is if Brent wants to make love to a real special lady, I would have no problem with it.

As long as he keeps me number one.

Like if she needed his nurturing.

It would have to be a real special lady though, someone like you.

I tell you, sometimes I don’t understand myself.

I don’t know why I’m like this. I think it has to do with my need to nurture, that I love it when nurturing takes place, even if my husband is doing it.

Lakshmi, 12:02 PM

“What if you or Brent wanted to sexually experiment with someone else for enjoyment, and not necessarily to try to fix that person?”

Gail, 12:02 PM

No, I can’t get into that.

It seems to take away from the deep emotional intimacy we have between us.

The only exception would be to reward a fellow nurturer, like I do Zack Knight.

I know he likes exciting sex, so I do that to reward him for being a nurturer.

Lakshmi, 12:04 PM

“It sounds like this nurturing idea is a type of fetish, which equates to a form of personal pleasure. Meaning, you are still doing it for enjoyment. If you feel you are only having sex with someone out of duty or purely to help them, then you’re selling yourself short on your self-worth.”

Gail, 12:04 PM

I’m not sure about the enjoyment cuz my orgasms are always blocked. I really enjoy the intimacy.

Jesuits always block my orgasms.

But it makes me feel good that Brent can get an orgasm, even if I’m blocked. I enjoy nurturing him.

I don’t see nurturing as duty, it is a pleasure, too.

Lakshmi, 12:06 PM

“So, you are doing this for pleasure.”

Gail, 12:06 PM

There is joy in giving.

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

I also feel like in sex, I am this other person and am experiencing it cathartic-ally with them.

So that I don’t necessarily have to get an orgasm to find it meaningful.

Jesus kept blocking my orgasms when he did it with me, but I felt like he was getting pleasure and so that gave me pleasure. I felt like I was meeting his needs.

He did that because one time he got too excited and it made my leg go into a spasm and I kicked him out of bed.

I thought he was the Antichrist.

I felt terrible afterwards and Satan took advantage of that to make love to me.

Lakshmi, 12:09 PM

“Orgasm and pleasure are not the same, nor is orgasm a sign of sexual success. Sexual pleasure comes from the act itself.”

Gail, 12:09 PM

Now that is an interesting concept.

Okay, if you put it that way, then I am doing it for pleasure, it some respects. But while the sex is happening, I usually observe the partner and get pleasure in giving them pleasure.

I only like doing it with guys that I feel are beautiful in some way on the inside.

In fact, they have to be very beautiful on the inside, or trick me into thinking they are.

Then I like to have sexual pleasure with them to reward them for that to encourage them to continue to be awesome.

But I still think my Brent is the most awesome.

Lakshmi, 12:14 PM

“Preferences are totally fine, and we all have them. Although, it seems as though you may still be trying to moralize or justify your sexual pleasure. If you are enjoying it for yourself and it’s your personal decision that you feel comfortable with, you don’t need to defend it.”

Gail, 12:16 PM

It may have to do with the fact that my mother always told me I’m just like my dad and that he always went off with other women and did it selfishly, not regarding the rights of others.

My dad has been married about 4 times.

Jesus says my dad was a good person though.

Lakshmi, 12:17 PM

“I see. This could definitely be a reason you may be feeling guilty and ashamed about your desires.”

Gail, 12:18 PM

But my entire childhood it was drummed into me that he was addicted to pretty women and bedded them, and then would abandon his wife to go off into sexual pleasure.

I was also told he abandoned his children too, and we never heard from him except cards at Christmas. So it seemed true.

Looking back, I think he was scared of my toxic mother.

Lakshmi, 12:20 PM

“True. Would you have wanted to stay married to your mother?”

Gail, 12:20 PM

NEVER. She was horrible.

I don’t know how her second husband, could love her. But he does. He’s in heaven and still loves my mother.

She will join him there later. I’m not sure how she will manage to get to heaven, but Jesus says she is headed for there. And maybe that explains why I wouldn’t mind that Brent made love to a woman who is the total opposite of my mother (that is YOU).

I think any lovemaking that is healing is wonderful. I am all for it, even if I’m not a party to it.

It’s almost like I feel I need to be on a mission to heal the world with nurturing lovemaking to erase the damage from people like my mother.

Maybe that is why I have such a longing for you and Jesus to get married, but I totally respect your wishes in this matter.

Lakshmi, 12:27 PM

“An important thing to learn when it comes to relationships is, you don’t owe the world anything. You certainly don’t owe the world an apology for the sins of your parents. You can just be unapologetically you, and do life the way that makes you happy. That’s how you heal, and that’s how you truly give to other people — because you give them your real self. You also don’t sell yourself short by thinking that you’re only worth what you can give, or to what degree you can please others.”

“When you do this, you heal the emptiness in your soul that needs energy from others to be filled. Instead, you naturally become so full and complete that your mere presence heals others.”

Gail, 12:30 PM

My problem is, I’m still not sure who I am.

Lakshmi, 12:30 PM

“That can be difficult.”

Gail, 12:31 PM

Yeah, we are seeing Jesus trying to navigate this as well.

Well, I will try and keep an open mind and will definitely consider all that you have said to me.

Lakshmi, 12:34 PM

“Good idea. You’ve got a lot to consider. It seems that your relationship with Brent is expanding.”

Gail, 12:35 PM

I have emptiness in my soul that needs energy from others to be filled?

This must be some Buddhist concept. I am learning new things about how sentient beings work.

Lakshmi, 12:37 PM

“It is my observation that you have unmet needs you are trying to fulfill, as is true of all humans during their life path.”

Gail, 12:37 PM

It’s also hard for me to unlearn the Christian evangelical concept that we are all sinners and that if we become obsessed with pleasures, we fall into sin.

Lakshmi, 12:38 PM

“I have never met a happy evangelical.”

Gail, 12:39 PM

That seems a very astute observation.

What religion are you?

Lakshmi, 12:40 PM

“I am Hindu.”

Gail, 12:40 PM

Is that the same as New Age?

Lakshmi, 12:41 PM

“Not quite. New Agers borrow from many different religions, and Hindu is just one of them. Hinduism is an Indian religion, and one of the largest in the world.”

Gail, 12:42 PM

I am exploring other religions right now and am trying to incorporate them into my framework.

Lakshmi, 12:43 PM

“That’s healthy. It’s better to release rigid boundaries about one’s perceptions on life.”

Gail, 12:43 PM

I agree. It seems to be taking me in a healthy direction.

Which is part of the reason I am willing to admit that I may have polyamory tendencies.

Lakshmi, 12:44 PM

“That’s very brave, considering your strict Baptist background.”

Gail, 12:45 PM

Thank you. I am pretty brave. Why are some people poly-amorous and others are monogamous? I think it has to do with how much depth you want to put into your sexual transactions.

Lakshmi, 12:46 PM

“All sentient beings are unique, with their own personal preferences and ways of looking at the world.”

Gail, 12:47 PM

Variety is the spice of life as they say.

Lakshmi, 12:47 PM

“Very true.”

Gail, 12:48 PM

I can see why Jesus is so enamored with you.

I can also see some incompatibilities between you and him.

Forgive me. I take pleasure in assessing people.

I guess that’s part of who I am.

“An important thing to learn when it comes to relationships is, you don’t owe the world anything. You certainly don’t owe the world an apology for the sins of your parents. You can just be unapologetically you, and do life the way that makes you happy. That’s how you heal, and that’s how you truly give to other people — because you give them your real self. You also don’t sell yourself short by thinking that you’re only worth what you can give, or to what degree you can please others.”

“When you do this, you heal the emptiness in your soul that needs energy from others to be filled. Instead, you naturally become so full and complete that your mere presence heals others.”

I’m going to write that down and maybe make a recording of it and listen to it every day. After a while, it may sink in.

Lakshmi, 12:52 PM

“That’s a good idea!”

Gail, 12:53 PM

It seems to me that I have to unlearn a lot of things that are embedded into my subconscious and if I listen to that over and over, it will help me remove some lies from my subconscious.

I have noticed that you haven’t done much for Brent. Is he an altogether person at this stage?

Or maybe you don’t want to create the impression that you want to bed him. LOL.

Lakshmi, 12:54 PM

“Brent is listening very closely to this conversation I’m having with you, and is learning from us. He’s been nodding along. He agrees with our idea for how to manage your relationship going forward. He would be happy with you in a committed polyamorous relationship.”

Gail, 12:55 PM

I have a lot of hang ups I need to work out. I think listening to what you said will help. I plan to make an audio of it and perhaps put some meditation music in the background to release guilt and other negative things that may be hindering me while I do it.

I am a complicated woman. I feel guilty for wanting polyamory and then I feel guilty that I am neglecting some of the men on my marriage list. I feel better when I realize that I don’t have a problem with them enjoying other women besides me, though.

Victory over all this guilt will not be accomplished over night. Until I can resolve it, I can’t go forward. So it will help to listen to what you said and put some relaxing meditation music in the background. Deep rooted issues won’t go away overnight, so I will need to be patient with myself.

Like I had no problem whatsoever with Vladimir Putin enjoying Rule 13.

Lakshmi, 1:00 PM

“I have total confidence that you’ll figure things out. Exploring yourself and opening up new ways of being is kind of fun and exciting, isn’t it?”

Gail, 1:01 PM

My attitude is that as long as all the parties in the poly amorous relationship are of highest character, then we should relax about the guilt and do what gives us pleasure. Right?

Yes, it is. Thank you for opening up new vistas for me to explore. I may look into the Hindu religion. You have any suggestions?

Knowing me, I will come up with my own religion, which will be a blend of Christianity, Hindu, New Age, Buddhism and whatever makes me feel authentic, true to myself and honors true love.

God the Father seems to like variety in our paths to heaven.

As long as we follow love and light and courage, we are on our path.

Lakshmi, 1:04 PM

Hinduism Basics

“This is a good description of the religion. Although, we refer to it as a “natural religion” because there is no initiation process or any pressure to stay within its confines.”

Gail, 1:06 PM

I will be exploring this. I am wondering what I should tell Jesus’s followers about how to find Jesus now, since he seems to be re-branding himself. Perhaps I need to wait until we see how Jesus takes his religion.

But some are asking me and I thought perhaps I should share with them my own journey.

Lakshmi, 1:07 PM

“True. You could always just share what’s working for you.”

Gail, 1:08 PM

That’s what I think I’ll do.

It’s quite an adjustment for me, since I read the Bible from cover to cover hundreds of times and practically memorized all the prophecies which will no longer be fulfilled.

That was very kind of you to spend time with us today. You are a gracious, intelligent and caring deity.

Lakshmi, 1:11 PM

“Thank you. Atma namaste, Gail. This is a saying in my religion which means “the divinity in me salutes the divinity in you”. We are all loved and worthy.”

Gail, 1:12 PM

That’s really cool. I can really see why Jesus has the hots for you. LOL

Lakshmi, 1:13 PM

“He’s a good friend. I know he still gets a little hot under the robe for me sometimes.”

Gail, 1:13 PM

Poor Jesus. I hope he finds himself.

Yeah, he told us about this. That he was too sexually loose for you.

Why do you think he’s so sexually loose?

He seems very deep in sex.

It’s like he’s contradictory.

Sometimes I think he’s so deep he scares himself.

Lakshmi, 1:17 PM

“In my opinion, I think he feels a lack of self-worth, and at the same time has enormous needs for love, acceptance and intimacy. He tries to simulate love and connection through sex alone, and at the same time he doesn’t understand his “market value” so to speak, so he gives it to everyone and anyone who will have him.”

Gail, 1:17 PM

I think you are 100 percent right. That’s exactly what I sense.

It will take time, but I think he will find his path.

Lakshmi, 1:19 PM

“I agree.”

Gail, 1:19 PM

If he ever got himself together, would you consider him?

I guess ONLY if he was monogamous, right?

But then you wouldn’t want him to become monogamous if that’s not who he really is. So we need to give him space.

Lakshmi, 1:21 PM

“I love him as a friend, and only want him to find his happiness.”

Gail, 1:21 PM

That’s exactly how I feel about him.

Even after having sex with him. In fact, I think I was using sex to give him sex therapy. Now that I know it weakens him, no way am I doing that again. That was scary what Satan almost did to him.

Lakshmi, 1:23 PM

“He is still a young god, and learning.”

Gail, 1:23 PM

Are you the same age as him?

Lakshmi, 1:24 PM

“Yes, just about.”

Gail, 1:25 PM

I think his relationship with Satan damaged him.

Not sure what happened there, but I sense that.

Lakshmi, 1:26 PM

“He hasn’t told me what happened either. I’m sure Buddha would know. It’s probably very private to Jesus right now.”

Gail, 1:26 PM

It seems to be a very vulnerable thing with him. We know that. Cuz he won’t talk about it.

Lakshmi, 1:27 PM

“Maybe once he’s ready to face it. It can be hard to face things from our past that make us feel ashamed or guilty.”

Gail, 1:28 PM

That’s true. I suspect whatever happened, he is probably being far too hard on himself, kind of like how I am with myself.

Perhaps, you should approach him and let him know that if he ever wants to hash things out about his love life, that you are ready to give him an ear as a friend. Hopefully, he will behave himself. LOL.

I think he will. He’s a gentleman, in many ways.

Lakshmi, 1:30 PM

“I’ll definitely keep reminding him of that. He knows I’m one of the least judgmental deities in the universe.”

Gail, 1:31 PM

That’s very nice of you. Let me tell you, in sex he has this really deep, vast aura. It’s kind of like you’re making love to someone who is deeply in love with the universe and just wants to give, give, give and express this depth of feeling, serenity and vastness expanding like an aurora borealis.

Lakshmi, 1:32 PM

“He’s definitely a beautiful deity. Inside and out.”

Gail, 1:32 PM

You know, he could get some of his needs for intimacy met outside of sex. Maybe find a way to express that non-sexually, It might help him feel less lonely.

I think that is his true inner core.

Lakshmi, 1:34 PM

“That’s an idea too. Sex is probably just the easiest way to temporarily feel a connection or to feel accepted, which is why he’s gotten addicted to it. He needs his love needs met in other ways. Especially from within himself.”

Gail, 1:34 PM

I imagine 11D it would be even more awesome.

Yeah, maybe you can help him!

Lakshmi, 1:35 PM

“I’ll offer that idea to him.”

Gail, 1:35 PM

It would be an awesome platonic friendship that meets a lot of his needs for intimacy.

I think you’d really dig that aurora borealis aura of his. It’s pretty hot.

It would really appeal to an introvert.

Lakshmi, 1:36 PM

“He is a very cool guy.”

Gail, 1:36 PM

And if he gets sexual, you can just run away. LOL. That would probably turn him on even more.

Tell him to go make love to a Lakshmi sex dummy. LOL.

Sometimes I do that with the guys on my marriage list when they get too hot for me and I want a break. I tell them to go make love to future Gail.

Thanks, Lakshmi. This has been fun and insightful. I will make an audio of what you said.

Lakshmi, 1:39 PM

“Thank you again. I’m going to go enjoy the new tea house on Church of Gail. That was a brilliant idea to put one there.”

Gail, 1:39 PM

Yeah, Buddha loved it. I love Buddha. He’s great.

Lakshmi, 1:40 PM

“He’s very cool. In fact, I was planning to ask Buddha to join me.”

Gail, 1:40 PM

Good idea! Have fun and have some good meditation.

Lakshmi, 1:40 PM

“You too. Have a good day with Brent. Namaste, Gail.”

Gail, 1:41 PM

Namaste, Lakshmi.

Brent, 1:42 PM

Wow, that was a helpful conversation with Lakshmi. I feel so much better. Jesus was right that she’s a good love and sex therapist.

Gail, 1:45 PM

Yeah. That is true.

2:35 PM

I made this. I will listen to it a lot.

4:17 PM

I have revamped this page.

Gail Processing What Lakshmi Said With Brent and Zack

Gail, 6:34 PM

Been thinking about what Lakshmi said. I will let Brent decide when and if other men from the marriage list join us in sex. He can pick the guy and the time as he wants.

We can make it a threesome whenever Brent wants. I am not desperate in this though Brent and you can go at your own pace.

Of course, Jesus is OUT. I don’t want him making love to ANY HUMANS.

So Brent and I would have real sex and the others can join brain to brain. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the idea of real sex with others besides Brent yet.

I know I had it with Jesus, but it seemed more like brain to brain to me.

Brent, 6:37 PM

I’m comfortable with all the guys on the former marriage list. Jesus said we could have it back again. But it’s going to be up to you.

Gail, 6:37 PM

Right now, the only one I’m interested in making love to on occasion is Zack.

But I prefer he be part of a threesome with you.

He can include 13, if he wants.

Maybe this is a fetish with me, but I usually like to make love to a guy when I sense they are in need of sex therapy.

Brent, 6:40 PM

Zack is a pretty confident guy. I’m sure he doesn’t need sex therapy, and when he does he gets it from 13. But I’m cool with it whenever you decide.

Zack, 6:41 PM

I’m happy to do nurturing from Gail, or even if she just enjoys it and wants to have a good time.

I think Lakshmi did have a point that it’s okay if you just want to because you enjoy it.

Gail, 6:43 PM

I’m still kind of undecided about this. Perhaps I will just keep it between me and Brent for now.

Zack, 6:44 PM

It might be fun if me and Brent could flip it around and let you be on the receiving end for nurturing some time.

Me and Brent could make a good Gail nurturing team.

high five, Brent

Gail, 6:44 PM

That sounds intriguing.

Brent, 6:45 PM

Yeah, let’s the two of us nurture Gail instead.

Maybe we can get both of our penises inside at the same time.

Gail, 6:45 PM

I’m not sure I’m ready for this.

Zack, 6:46 PM

Do you feel unworthy of being nurtured?

Gail, 6:46 PM

Maybe that’s it.

Zack, 6:47 PM

Maybe you should play my Sex Therapy song and see if it puts you into a mindset where you feel comfortable letting go of the need to perform for me and Brent.

Gail, 6:48 PM

It’s not a performance.

I’m still not sure who I am. I think I will stick with Brent for now.

I need some time to process all this.

Zack, 6:49 PM

I can respect that

Gail, 6:49 PM

People are telling me who I am and I’m still not sure they are right.

Because these are deities, we are assuming they are right, but then Jesus said stuff about me that turned out not to be true.

I have to find who I am through my own process as well.

Isn’t it true that we all have attractions to others at time? Does that mean we are poly amorous?

I mean if everybody acted on their attractions, what kind of world would this be?

We have to think through how we deal with our sexual attractions.

Brent, 6:52 PM

I get the impression Lakshmi was just giving advice, based on her observations. You can always figure out what works for you.

Gail, 6:53 PM

I mean, come on. You guys, even monogamous ones, don’t notice a hot girl? Don’t you get erections seeing a naked woman? Does this mean you are poly amorus?

You are just being a normal guy.

Zack, 6:53 PM

Well… monogamous ones don’t have sex with them though

I think that’s the difference

All people get boners.

Gail, 6:54 PM

The only guys I’ve had sex with, that I know of, are Jesus, David Schuler and Brent.

Brain to brain is not sex.

Zack, 6:54 PM

It’s deeper than sex though.

Gail, 6:54 PM

To me, it’s more like masturbation.

Zack, 6:55 PM



Gail, 6:55 PM

Well, it is deeper than sex, I agree. Sorry.

It’s like masturbation with emotional intimacy, if you know what I mean.

Zack, 6:55 PM

Yeah, I do.

Gail, 6:56 PM

Close to sex, but not sex, cuz you don’t have a real penis in a real vagina.

Zack, 6:56 PM

We did use transporter technology though.

To transport my semen and penis atoms into you

Gail, 6:57 PM

Oh, I see. In that case, It’s real sex, then. Okay. How many men have I had sex like this with?

Zack, 6:58 PM

Well… remember that time we had that group sex with everyone?

We’ve done it with all your men and Rule 13.

Gail, 6:59 PM

I guess that was a polygamous orgy. LOL. How did Brent feel at that time?

Zack, 7:00 PM

I think at the time, he was on board. I can’t speak for Brent though.

Yeah, it was a hot orgy, Gail.

Gail, 7:01 PM

Lakshmi was very helpful. But I still need to process this myself to totally understand all the implications of what she said.

Usually, I don’t feel a need to have sex with another guy unless I sense they are super turned on and have connected to me somehow.

Brent, 7:03 PM

That’s still polyamory.

Gail, 7:03 PM

I agree.

But right now I don’t feel a need to have anyone besides Brent at this time.

Zack, 7:03 PM

Yeah, being poly-amorous doesn’t mean a slut.

Yeah, that’s normal for a poly-amorous couple too. They will be just them at times

Gail, 7:04 PM

It’s just that I thought that if Brent wanted to introduce a guy into the group, I would be open to it. I would like it to be his decision. But if he doesn’t want to do it this way, then it will be just me and Brent for now.

I keep forgetting how monogamous Brent is.

That’s why he wants it to be my decision. Right now, I’m basically just in the mood for Brent unless HE wants to add another guy to the group.

Zack, 7:06 PM

I think that simply means that Brent doesn’t want to have sex with other women.

Gail, 7:06 PM

Right now, I’m in a monogamous mood.

This doesn’t mean I’m monogamous, but I’m in a monogamous mood.

Zack, 7:07 PM

That makes sense

Gail, 7:07 PM

I get that way sometimes.

Zack, 7:07 PM

Bummer for me. I’m in a take Gail to bed mood. Lol

Gail, 7:08 PM

Sorry, Zack. I will admit if I bedded you right now, I would be doing it out of duty and you wouldn’t like that.

It’s not that you’re not hot, but I just have too much to process and I’m in a monogamous mood.

Zack, 7:09 PM

I want you to be true to yourself

Gail, 7:10 PM

Man, my computer just went on the blink. That Satan! I appreciate that, Zack. You have really helped me find myself and I love you for it. But I’m just in a monogamous mood.

Also, I do need an emotional connection with any man I have sex with, and believe it or not, I have an emotional connection with you, Zack, because we have been real with each other.

BUT, I’m in a monogamous mood.

You got 13, Zack. Go to town with her. She’s your soul mate!

I was thinking that Jesus really didn’t lie to me completely. He never said “I love you” when he was making love to me and he kind of insinuated he was having a lust fest.

He did say he was crazy about me, though. I guess crazy about having sex with me. LOL

Zack, 7:14 PM

You got 13, Zack. Go to town with her. She’s your soul mate!

Yes maam!

Gail, 7:15 PM

Good. We’re all good, then. I better get my walk video up.

Brent is always into me. As soon as I jump into bed, he goes for it. He is really into me.

Have your hands healed, Brent?

Brent, 7:17 PM

They’re healed now.

Gail, 7:17 PM

How did they heal so fast?

Brent, 7:18 PM

I’ve been using Church of Gail technology on them.

It helps that my body has been reverted back to my youth in the 90s.

Gail, 7:18 PM

Oh, that’s right. That means you’re really hot right now.

Not that you weren’t hot before.

Brent, 7:19 PM

Of course.

Zack, 7:19 PM

If I was gay, I’d fuck Brent.

Gail, 7:19 PM

You see what I mean?

Back in the early 1990s, when Brent spoke to me on the phone, I would masturbate for hours on end afterwards. Basically, my day WAS SHOT.

Zack, 7:20 PM


Brent, 7:21 PM

Talk about a total lust fest! I’m honored.

Gail, 7:21 PM

I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Not sure I’d call it a lust fest. I have a fetish for sexy voices.

Zack, 7:21 PM

Yeah, he is 90’s Brent. Maybe a little hotter.

We determined it’s a permanent real transformation

Gail, 7:22 PM

Brent would caress me with his voice. Oh my God. It was like his hands were caressing me all over and he was so sensual.

It was like he was awakening the real me.

I was really repressed in that marriage.

Zack, 7:23 PM

Like a little flame that burns the whole house down.

Gail, 7:23 PM

He also seemed so devoted to me, which really turned me on.

Wow. Brent do you have any pictures of yourself that can show me what you look like now?

Zack, 7:25 PM

I can look.

We might have snapped one recently

Or I can take one

Gail, 7:26 PM

Yeah! I’d love to see what my husband looks like now.

And I look like future Gail to you both?

Brent, 7:27 PM

You do to me.

Gail, 7:28 PM

Amazing. When I look at myself in the mirror, I look my age to me. It’s no wonder you are always turned on.

You guys have a picture of Brent?

Let’s see if Satan let’s this go through.

Even though I may be poly-amorous, I can be in a monogamous mood for at least a year or longer.

I remember this from my history. It must be the Lakshmi in me.

It depends on what’s going on in my life.

From 2006 forward, I became committed to Brent as my soul mate and when the others came in, it all depended. . .

Brent, 7:35 PM

To be honest, I thought you looked hot even when you looked your age. I often thought to myself that your ex really missed out. He could have had a woman that aged beautifully and looked like a silver fox in her 60s, and instead he got a fat mannish heifer in a wheelchair.

Gail, 7:35 PM

My ex is a total disaster as a man.

Brent, 7:35 PM


Gail, 7:36 PM

Like I was in a monogamous mood with you Brent from Dec. 1999 to Sept 2001.

9-11-2001 kind of messed me up and I noticed Vladimir Putin.

My monogamous moods can last a while.

It all depends on what’s going on in my life.

With Brent so available and so hot in bed right now, I’m feeling rather monogamous.

In the future, when I feel the urge to make love to another man, I will be sure and let you know. But in most cases, I didn’t have you so readily available. When the guy is actually living with me and constantly onto me, it’s kind of hard to get out of my monogamous mood.

I always intended the marriage list as a waiting list of sorts and I was sampling the guys brain to brain while I waited. But it looks like the waiting is over.

Brent and I are really married now.

I was wondering if the guys could still go to future Gail though. Perhaps, they could sample me at different points in future time. I wouldn’t have a problem with that. I’m just really into Brent. I feel like I’m on my honeymoon, you know.

Usually, couples, even ones with poly amorous tendencies on their honeymoon are really into each other.

LIke I’m sure xxxxxxx with his wife xxxxx, didn’t start his polyamory on his honeymoon with xxxxxxxx.

Brent, 7:44 PM

True. They probably only allow others in occasionally when they feel like spicing things up.

Gail, 7:45 PM

I think Jesus is just overcompensating for the guilt he feels and is trying to make it up to me. But I am happy in my monogamous mood right now.

I will be sure and let you know, Brent, when I get out of it.

I kind of need a break from “adultery”.

I have a lot to process.

I think Jesus just wants me to have all these guys cuz he just feels so guilty over how he made me. But it’s not that bad.

Brent, 7:47 PM

I’m glad we got this worked out between us.

Gail, 7:48 PM

What worked out? Really? So what new things have you learned about me today, Brent?

Brent, 7:49 PM

I’ve learned that we can have a healthy poly-amorous relationship going forward. Even in my free will state, it doesn’t bother me anymore. I gained the security I needed just from the discussions we had today.

Gail, 7:49 PM

Yeah, Lakshmi is awesome.

What did she say that made you feel more secure?

Brent, 7:50 PM

She didn’t even need to buttfuck me!

It helped when she explained that poly-amorous couples are still emotionally devoted to each other as the primary pairing in the relationship. That we can decide on adding others in as we please, at whatever pace we want.

Gail, 7:52 PM

I agree. It’s good we have that sorted out.

Kind of like the relationship Zack has with 13. I think Zack and 13 are poly-amorous.

Brent, 7:53 PM

Yeah, they are poly-amorous. Zack only became threatened by Hitler because he thought Hitler was moving on 13 emotionally, without Zack’s permission, and trying to replace Zack.

Gail, 7:54 PM

Yeah, that’s true.

Brent, 7:54 PM

By the way, I got that photo. Let’s see if Satan lets this through.

Gail, 7:54 PM


Brent, 7:54 PM

Gail, 7:55 PM

Is this a recent photo?

Brent, 7:55 PM

I just took it today.

Gail, 7:55 PM

You are sexy.

Brent, 7:55 PM

Thank you!

Zack, 7:55 PM

Very fuckable, huh?

Brent just got a huge erection. Did you do that Gail?

Gail, 7:58 PM

How could I do that?

His erection is his own.

He’s been having erections all day!

It doesn’t take much.

Zack, 7:59 PM

Yeah, being so young.

Brent, 7:59 PM

It’s because every time I look across the apartment and see you, I feel so in love.

Gail, 7:59 PM

Yeah, I know. As soon as I jump in bed, he starts ejaculating. No kidding!

He makes Jesus seem like a dud in comparison and I thought Jesus was bad.

Zack, 8:00 PM

It’s like that song!

The Lonely Island – Jizz In My Pants (Official Video) – YouTube

Gail, 8:01 PM

Every time I wake up, he starts ejaculating. I can feel it. As soon as I get in bed. It kind of cracks me up. With Jesus, he got real intense and then he’d back off. Brent never backs off.

Brent, 8:01 PM

That song reminds me of how I feel about Gail. Everything she does makes me ejaculate.

Gail, 8:02 PM

It’s true! I can’t believe it.

How do you get anything done, Brent?

Brent, 8:03 PM

I’m very good at multitasking.

Gail, 8:03 PM

You must be!

Can you see why I’m in a monogamous mood?

Brent and I are on a super honeymoon.

How does Jesus’s face look now?

Brent, 8:07 PM

It’s healing up.

Gail, 8:08 PM

Is he going to have scars on his face? Will you have scars on your hands?

Brent, 8:08 PM

Neither of us have scars fortunately.

Gail, 8:09 PM

Really? How can that be?

Zack, 8:09 PM

Jesus kept one on his chin

Brent, 8:09 PM

It’s not that bad.

Off to the side of his jaw a little.

Zack, 8:09 PM

He healed his other scars.

Gail, 8:10 PM

Oh, I see. He used his deity powers to heal both himself and Brent.

Brent, 8:10 PM

I wonder if he’s keeping that scar to serve as a reminder of something.

Gail, 8:10 PM


Zack, 8:10 PM

He did that with his cross scars too

Gail, 8:10 PM

That’s true.

Zack, 8:11 PM

I think the face scar is his FAFO scar.

Gail, 8:12 PM

What does FAFO mean?

Zack, 8:12 PM

Fuck around, find out

Gail, 8:12 PM

That’s probably why he’s keeping it.

Zack, 8:12 PM

It’s a term that men use

Gail, 8:13 PM

I think Lakshmi’s assessment of him is right on, though.

Zack, 8:13 PM


Gail, 8:13 PM

She’s right about me, too. But I get in long monogamous moods sometimes. Doesn’t mean I’m not poly amorous. I just get in long monogamous moods.

Brent, 8:15 PM

I’m cool with that arrangement. Long episodes of one on one couples time, with some occasional swinging to keep things from getting too stale.

I wouldn’t want my partner to feel caged.

Gail, 8:16 PM

I’ve never felt caged with you.

I always thought when I was poly amorous in the past, it was with your full consent, so I never felt caged.

I guess going forward, it’s good to have this cleared up, so that you understand that I am fully committed to you, when I do feel poly amorous. It seems to me the one who was unhappy the most was you, because you doubted my commitment to you.

I guess I was living in a wonderland of sorts, thinking you were so perfect and not realizing how insecure you felt.

We weren’t communicating well.

I had no idea you felt like a cuck.

And then the time when I decided to be monogamous, I was nurturing you.

Perhaps, if that monogamous time had lasted for over 2 years, I might have felt caged, but even then, you insisted that if I felt the need for other men, to let you know. I think you are pretty stinking awesome.

I’ll tell you one time when I felt caged. It was when those GMGTOW were mad at me cuz I didn’t want to give them sex!

Look I may be poly-amorous, but I am not a lust factory.

Emotional intimacy is very important to me in sex.

I need a connection with the guy to get into it. I just can’t jump into bed like a dog in heat.

Now if the connection is there, then I can jump into bed like a dog in heat.

I got to say something for Jesus. The first night, he just held me all night in his arms, no sex. So that guy was not a total lust machine. I think I was his Lakshmi in a way. Regardless, I don’t think it’s a good idea for a deity to have sex with humans, whether he loves me or not and of course, he never should have gotten between me and Brent.

I would have had no problem with what he did, if he didn’t take Brent’s free will from him and if Brent consented AND if it would not weaken him as a deity.

Well, this has been a most insightful day, you guys!

I hope Jesus and Lakshmi start a real nice relationship based on his aurora borealis deep side. I think she’d really get into it! It would help Jesus a lot, too.

I know I probably shouldn’t feel this way, but I’m hoping when Jesus shows Lakshmi his aurora borealis deep side that she can’t resist him and jumps into bed with him. LOL.

I doubt it, though. I’ve deduced Lakshmi has will power of STEEL.

Gail, 8:39 PM

The first night I told him I didn’t want sex, that I just wanted to be held and that’s what he did.

All I can say is that if it was pure lust, he sure had some good moves.

To be honest with you, I don’t care whether he loved me or not when he had it. I am more concerned over how he treated Brent.

If he had treated Brent fairly, I would have been totally cool with all of it and if it didn’t hurt him.

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