Redefining Intimacy With My Men

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The following describes how I would like to relate to the men on my “marriage list”, who can remain on the list, if they so desire. This is to eliminate confusion. I’ve basically moved on and have no need for the marriage list, but retain it more as a friendship list. They can call it a marriage list, if they want.

Column Yes

Vaginal sex with Brent

I actually enjoy vaginal sex more than kissing, vaginal sex feels like hot kissing and emotional intimacy to me, which I like

Cuddling, kissing and embracing with Brent

A marriage relationship with Brent in the traditional sense of the word

Total sharing with Brent of all my emotions and deepest thoughts and feelings

My men enjoying themselves with other good women or the hotties I’ve picked for them, this includes Brent, but he’s too monogamous for this and I want him to be happy and true to himself.

Deep, committed platonic friendships with those on my marriage list (Brent being the exception for the platonic part)

Column Maybe

Oral or rectal sex with Brent (probably more when it’s medically helpful)

Any other type of intimacy outside of the missionary position with Brent, has to make me feel like our souls our connecting, so oral sex usually doesn’t cut it for me.

Brain to brain loving with another man on the marriage list, IF he’s in great need, like if he’s going through a crisis and needs brain to brain loving to help him stave off suicide or something like that, BUT if he can get over it without me making love to him, that would be preferred. The man would probably have to really need intimacy from me to give him the boost and if there is another way for him to get over his depression, this would be preferred. If I choose to do this, the man needs to understand that I am doing this as a form of therapy and that I am not sexually attracted to him, but doing it as a friend. So this is probably not a good idea.

Emotional closeness to another man on the marriage list, where he can talk to me and we can have a deep, intimate, platonic style friendship. This is great and I like it, but I don’t want it to take from my time with Brent. Probably the best way to handle this, is to let Brent participate in it as well. And it should be done in moderation, when it happens. The man also needs to understand that I am doing this for the communication intimacy and NOT as a prelude for sex.

Column No

Sex, kissing or physical intimacy with anyone outside of Brent (this includes brain to brain loving, except in cases of a TRUE EMERGENCY, as outlined above). Basically, I want to treat my physical intimacy with Brent, like I would if I was monogamous. I have to let you know that if I did sex with anyone outside of Brent, it would be pretty abhorrent to me. Not sure why I feel this way, but I do, and it’s not because I’m monogamous.

Any type of physical intimacy with a man outside of Brent, that Brent disapproves of. This is because sex is not a big deal to me, but if it’s a problem for Brent, who I adore, then it’s a problem for me. So if I don’t do it, I don’t care.

Group sex of any kind. Not into this.

Retaining a man on the marriage list who is trying to undermine my relationship with Brent.

Rectal sex of any kind. I find this repulsive. The exception being, if it could be medically helpful.

Obsessive sex, period, that interferes with proper sleep and a balanced life.

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