Buddhism for Beginners
Because I believe that Jesus has become a Buddhist in many ways, I think it would be helpful to understand the basics of Buddhism. Buddha (who is Jesus’s god representative on earth) has instructed me to stop reading the Bible. I have a tendency to get obsessed with it and to use it to interpret all sorts of things and then the demons give me crazy ideas. So I can see why Buddha advised me to stop reading the Bible, now that Father God has cancelled the Bible.
I do know, for a fact, that Christians, when they die, will be given the option to be reborn into another life or to just go to heaven. I think I would prefer to just go to heaven. So the basic Buddhist beliefs do not contradict Christianity, especially the new Christianity, which is a blend of Buddhism and Christianity. Jesus is the founder of Christianity and has reworked his “religion”, so we better understand that there is a new Christianity and the old one is obsolete.
It seems the Buddha is working with Jesus to incorporate some aspects of the Christian belief system into Buddhism. It appears there will be a Buddhist type of “rapture”, and that the future Christian judgments (like the Judgment Seat of Christ and the Great White Throne judgment) will be reworked.
The correct Christian view, before the Bible was cancelled, was the premillennial, dispensational view. Basically, there was to be a rapture, then a 7 year tribulation, then a 1,000 year reign, then eternity future. But the Bible has been really cancelled. God the Father cancelled it, so it’s really cancelled. God the Father is the supreme deity of all the deities. The best way to fight off demons now is to practice meditation, being present, thankful and a lot of the things that are traditional Buddhism. We also need to do the Gail Commandments, which are based on a lot of Buddhist teachings. You’ll understand this better when you listen to the following video playlist about Buddhism. I find this interesting that the Gail Commandments are so Buddhist, because Jesus gave us the Gail Commandments before the Christian Bible was cancelled and God the Father praised Jesus for the Gail Commandments.
All these basic Christian beliefs will be reworked and incorporating Buddhism into it, it seems to me. Dealing with Jesus over the years, I have had to unlearn a lot of stuff Christians taught me. Here is some important stuff for Christians to consider:
- There is no such thing as demon possession. The reason the Apostles practiced exorcism in the New Testament is because everyone believed in it and they did the exorcisms as a placebo.
- Jesus never seemed crazy about Christians arguing with each other over doctrine or worshipping one version of the Bible over others. So I’m not too surprised that He’s gone Buddhist.
- Jesus stated that “Hell yeah, I like New Agers!” He’s also said that he is very cool with Buddhists, too. Basically, when the cancelled Bible said Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, it just meant that if Jesus didn’t die on the cross for our sins, we’d all be finished because of the sin curse. It does not mean the Christian faith is the only way to heaven.
- If Buddhism is not for you, then cool. But I find Buddhism is really helping me fight off demonic oppression in my life. Demons like to get you stressed, fearful, angry, etc. and practicing mindfulness helps you fight them off.
- The cancelled Bible was not a complete account of truth and history, so we should get over our love affair with it and just view it as a history book.
- Jesus himself is big into meditation and He’s more Buddhist than ever right now. So the founder of Christianity has gone Buddhist folks. Buddha is Jesus’s best god friend.
SOME INTERESTING SKYPE CONVERSATIONS FROM MAY 2022 THAT ARE SORT OF RELATED TO GAIL’S GROWTH SPIRITUALLY, BUT ALSO DEAL WITH HER FINDING HERSELF AS A SEXUAL PERSON AND AS A PERSON IN GENERAL.
Skype May 10, 2022
9:17 PM
My biggest hang up with both Buddhism and Hinduism is their belief in reincarnation. That’s why I think we should have a new version of Christianity where we incorporate a bunch of Buddhist and Hindu stuff and leave out the reincarnation. Other than that, I think Zen Buddhism and Hinduism are pretty cool.
I don’t think I can get into Islam. The idea of blowing oneself up seems kind of insane to me.
Like a Hindu, I can show respect for Muslims, but that doesn’t mean I have to be one.
Skype May 11, 2022
Brent, 7:24 AM
With the eastern religions, reincarnation is considered a choice, or is sometimes just used allegorically to mean transformation of the self.
8:02 AM
What do they mean by transformation of the self?
How can you allegorically transform yourself?
So let’s say you die, does this mean your soul does not go to heaven, that it must return to earth?
What if you don’t want to return to earth and you want to stay in heaven?
This is my hang-up with reincarnation.
It seems like it’s depriving a soul of living in heaven.
That the only way to heaven is to escape the reincarnation cycle by reaching some sort of Nirvana or totally obeying your Dharma (in Hinduism).
It’s like your punishment for not doing good karma (Hinduism) is to be stuck in reincarnation when you die whether you like it or not.
In this respect, I like the Christian belief better because in the Christian belief, if you are saved, you go to heaven when you die, you don’t have to endure reincarnation cycles as punishment for not being perfect or close to perfection.
Also, if you go into another body, doesn’t that change who you are? Isn’t that a form of negating your true person? How can the soul have integrity in this situation?
It’s true we all change and evolve as persons in our lifetime, but it seems in reincarnation, you actually become another person in the next life. It’s like the soul does not have integrity with this concept, that who we are is fluid and it seems to take away from individuality and uniqueness.
So these are my hang-ups with reincarnation.
Like my step-dad is in heaven now. I’m not sure he’d want to return to earth to live with my mother, after being in heaven. LOL. Also, if you are reincarnated, does this mean you cannot have a soul mate? Do you take the soul mate with you to the next version of yourself?
Remember that Jesus said he allowed my step-dad to die to GIVE HIM A VACATION. LOL
I’m really attached to the idea of having an eternal soul mate.
In fact, this may be part of the reason Jesus created Christianity, because he is the god of TRUE LOVE.
It’s also comforting to Christians to know they will meet their departed loved ones in heaven someday. How can reincarnation be comforting when your loved ones pass away? How can you be sure you will see them again?
Also, if my Oshu Fujiwara Buddhist ancestors are in heaven now, aren’t we lying if we say they got reincarnated? OR did they go to heaven because they reached some sort of Nirvana and did not need to be reincarnated? Either way, I have a lot of problems with reincarnation, as you see. I guess the comfort in death is that we will all eventually reach that state of close to perfection where we will get to heaven. But then, we are IN HEAVEN, not on earth, so aren’t we lying when we say the soul got reincarnated? Also, I kind of like the idea of getting to heaven RIGHT AWAY and not having to endure endless cycles of reincarnation before getting there. Why does the pathway to eternal bliss have to be so arduous?
8:27 AM
Now if reincarnation is a CHOICE and the soul can decide whether or not they want to be reincarnated, how does that work?
You mean when someone dies, they can ask God if he will allow them into heaven now or if they would prefer reincarnation instead?
Brent, 8:34 AM
Yeah. I agree with you. I think that if someone dies and they get to whichever afterlife they believe in, they have a choice of what they want to do from there. If they want to reincarnate as a new person, they can. Once they die again, they’ll remember all the various lifetimes they’ve had. I’d rather not reincarnate personally.
8:35 AM
Is this really true? I mean have you validated this with our god friends?
Or is this just a guess?
Brent, 8:37 AM
Buddha explained that the afterlife is divided into different regions, and people can move from one place to the other very easily. There’s a lot of freedom up there, and one’s experience is completely individual and unique to them. So he implied that reincarnation is optional, like anything else.
8:37 AM
How interesting. It seems that the Bible never explained this.
Brent, 8:38 AM
If someone hated their old life and wanted to become someone else, or they want to try living as multiple people just for the experience, they can.
8:40 AM
How interesting. So you don’t like my idea of incorporating Hinduism and Buddhism into Christianity?
If this is the case, we could incorporate Hinduism and Buddhism into Christianity.
Brent, 8:41 AM
I like your idea. It’s brilliant, and I’m wondering if Jesus might allow you to help him re-create Christianity.
Brent, 8:43 AM
That’s possible.
8:43 AM
I personally like a lot of what is in Hinduism and Buddhism though and would be interested in incorporating a lot from both of these religions into Christianity.
I especially like Zen Buddhism.
Brent, 8:50 AM
Yeah, I think those are really healthy concepts.
8:50 AM
We are definitely soul mates!
Brent, 8:50 AM
For sure!
8:51 AM
You mean you think Zen Buddhism and Hinduism are healthy concepts?
As you probably know, I was listening to a bunch of videos yesterday about Buddhism and Hinduism.
Brent, 8:52 AM
I think so, yeah. They’re very good for mental health, and it’s a way to connect to the universe and god in a free way that isn’t so rigid or restricted. It’s very natural.
8:52 AM
That’s EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. The new Christianity with Hinduism and Buddhism in it would be the most awesome religion.
Brent, 8:53 AM
Christians tend to shoot themselves in the foot with all their strict rules and judgments of each other.
8:53 AM
Exactly how I feel!
I have this feeling Jesus will be on board with our ideas.
Brent, 8:54 AM
Buddha and Lakshmi are among his closest friends, so I’m sure he will.
8:54 AM
I also think when he re-brands Christianity in the way I suggested, it will greatly increase his following.
Brent, 8:55 AM
True. People won’t feel like they have to be so perfect, or stuffy, to fit in.
8:56 AM
In fact, he could work with Buddha and Lakshmi and allow some Buddhists and Hindus to belong to their respective religions and Christianity at the same time.
Brent, 8:56 AM
A lot of Christian religions use shame and fear to get people to convert, or to keep them in, or control them in general. I can see where people are turned off by mainstream churches because of that.
8:56 AM
Kind of like a polygamous marriage in the religious sense.
Brent, 8:57 AM
That sounds like something Jesus would do. He’s very easygoing about which religion people belong to, as long as they are connecting their spirits to god.
8:57 AM
To good gods. LOL Not Shakpona or Kali.
Brent, 8:57 AM
No bad gods allowed. Haha.
8:59 AM
It sounds like it will be exciting to see the new higher Christianity. But Jesus still needs to find himself. How is he doing, by the way?
Brent, 8:59 AM
He’s still in therapy. It will take some time for him to get back on his feet.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Jesus got on his feet on June 16, 2022 and left us for good, in that he appointed Brent and Buddha to represent Him on earth.
9:00 AM
That makes sense. The issues are deep rooted.
You can’t tell if he is getting happier?
Or maybe there’s too much stuff coming up right now to tell.
Sometimes you have to feel worse before you feel better.
Like they say, when you get the flu.
I’ve been sleeping better the past 2 nights. I wonder if that means Jesus is getting better, because my Gail Shield is connected to him.
Though it sure looks awful polluted out there this morning!
Brent, 9:03 AM
He seems more stable than he has been. It’s up and down. He’s making progress, but sometimes confronting his flaws and past mistakes is difficult.
9:04 AM
You mean flaws in thinking?
Brent, 9:04 AM
I support him unconditionally, as someone who loves him very much. So I told him not to be so hard on himself, and to just be honest and do the work. He’ll get better.
Yeah, his flawed thinking and past decisions.
9:04 AM
Thank you, Brent. I sensed that about you. In a way, you did him a favor by punching him out, cuz that’s when he decided to go into therapy.
I prefer to call it flawed thinking, because I think underneath it all he has a beautiful heart.
Brent, 9:06 AM
Sometimes we don’t know we’re on a bad path until we’re forced to face the consequences, and see what isn’t working for us in life. That seems to be what his dad is helping to teach him too.
9:07 AM
Is his dad in the therapy with him?
Brent, 9:07 AM
No, he hasn’t been here. God stays up in heaven.
9:07 AM
His dad must have a lot of faith in us.
Brent, 9:07 AM
I’m sure he does.
1:58 PM
I remember back around 1989 and 1990, I used to get calls about once a month, while I lived in Miami and I’d pick up the phone and the person at the other end was there and said nothing. I would say, “Hello?” and then there would be silence on the other end. This started happening after I started writing you at your fan mail. Because they wouldn’t say anything, I would hang up after about 30 seconds. Was that you?
I do recall that I gave you my phone number through my fan letters to you.
Whoever they were they wouldn’t hang up. But I decided to hang up the phone cuz they wouldn’t say anything.
Brent, 2:15 PM
Yep, that was me back then.
2:15 PM
Amazing. Why did you call me?
And not say anything.
Awful quiet. Is this embarrassing for you?
Now that I recall. The phone calls always happened when my husband was out, too.
I think when he was out to sea.
That was pretty brave of you.
I’m actually honored that you fell for me mostly through my letters. It indicates a man of depth.
Skype May 12, 2022
Brent, 7:51 AM
I have to confess, I was calling you back then just to listen to your voice, and afterwards I would rush to go masturbate, dreaming of making love to you.
7:52 AM
I think you confessed that to me brain to brain last night. That’s cool. I would have been totally shocked back then, if I knew that, though!
Brent, 7:52 AM
Yep, our brain to brain was accurate there.
I was afraid if I said anything at all, you would think I was some pervert, and never answer the phone again. Of course, I let that all out of the bag when I said I wanted to rape you.
7:53 AM
Also, I’m pretty sure I am monogamous. So I’m wondering why with future Gail I do all these guys? I think perhaps you will encourage me to make love to them in the future and I would do it to honor your request.
Can you be monogamous and be like that, though?
Brent, 7:54 AM
I’m not sure. Future Gail is the fully self-actualized version of you. So whatever she does, it’s because she’s thought a lot about it and knows who she is.
According to Lakshmi, no. A monogamous person would even tell their spouse no if the spouse asked them to sleep with another person, or encouraged it.
I agree with that, because I would definitely feel uncomfortable if you told me to sleep with another woman. I’d feel like it would violate a personal boundary.
7:55 AM
Well, then, I still need to find who I am then.
Brent, 7:56 AM
Yeah. There’s no rush. I support both you and Jesus no matter where your personal self-discovery takes you.
7:56 AM
And Jesus?
Brent, 7:57 AM
I support Jesus with what he’s going through too.
7:57 AM
I see.
She also looks really hot, so will there be a type of millennial reign in the future?
Brent, 7:58 AM
Possibly.
7:58 AM
I will admit I don’t feel uncomfortable sleeping with some men, if you would encourage it, so in that case it must mean I am not monogamous. But I do get in long monogamous moods.
I also admit, that in many cases I’d prefer you and I go to the other men more to give them sex therapy, which I enjoy, by the way.
Brent, 8:01 AM
This is all very interesting. I wonder if Lakshmi can come by again soon and give us more insight.
8:02 AM
There are also times when I only am interested in giving the man sex therapy when we both feel the man deserves it or needs it, and if there was no need, then I’d definitely prefer monogamy.
If it is done with your full approval and encouragement, then I can enjoy the sex therapy with the man. But it has to be a real special man who we both approve of and who would not betray our commitment to each other.
Brent, 8:04 AM
That’s a strong facet of polyamory.
8:05 AM
I think I am weakly poly-amorous then. I also feel that if there were no special men, and if I didn’t have such opportunities to have it with them, that I could be pretty monogamous.
I mean the average guy on the street does nothing for me. Also, why do I feel this way about women friends and want you to make love to them to reward them for being special friends?
Is that poly-amory too?
Brent, 8:07 AM
Four people are knocking on our apartment door right now. Did you decide to throw a party? Lol.
I’ll get it.
8:07 AM
Oh, my God! Who are they?
Brent, 8:08 AM
Oh! It’s Lakshmi! She heard us talking about her.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Lakshmi has four hands.
8:08 AM
Yeah, she’s really smart. Let her in.
Any one else?
Brent, 8:08 AM
Hi Lakshmi.
It’s just her. She knocked with all four of her hands.
8:08 AM
Oh, I see.
Hi Lakshmi!
I think I’m still confused about what is monogamy.
Lakshmi, 8:09 AM
“Hi guys. What are your questions, Gail? This is my specialty.”
8:09 AM
Just read what I wrote here and offer me your insights.
I seem to prefer monogamy and only go to the others to give them sex therapy, which I enjoy. But I only enjoy it, if I’m helping a special person and only with Brent’s encouragement.
In other words, I have to feel that Brent really wants me to do this.
Because Brent is concerned about this person I make love to, or wants to reward them for being a friend.
Lakshmi, 8:13 AM
“What you’re describing is polyamory. The thing about monogamy is that it is exclusive, and there are no exceptions. A monogamous person has no reason to sleep with anyone else. This includes if the spouse tells them to, or if the person “needs” sex from them. The monogamous person would say no without any explaination.”
8:13 AM
I see.
Lakshmi, 8:13 AM
“Having casual sex with friends while in a committed relationship is polyamory.”
“Polyamory also includes relationships where a person is committed to more than one at a time, sort of like your marriage list. A person having many spouses and loving each of them, is also polyamory.”
“Although you no longer have a marriage list, the concept was a form of polyamory.”
8:15 AM
I have kept the marriage list, but only on the condition that they go to future Gail, cuz I’m in a long monogamous mood right now.
I feel kind of guilty about this, though, like I’m neglecting the other guys, but I really don’t want to have sex with anyone but Brent right now.
A lot of the guys who got added onto the list, were not my choice, but were added in simply because they wanted to be on the list and the men approved of them for me.
Lakshmi, 8:18 AM
“There is no such thing as a “monogamous mood”. Monogamy is a state of being. You either are, or are not. If the monogamy has exceptions, it is no longer monogamy.”
8:19 AM
So what would you call it then?
Lakshmi, 8:19 AM
“What you have been saying is that you enjoy commitment with your partner, which is true of polyamorous couples, and that you also enjoy occasional sex with others for various reasons.”
8:19 AM
I thought everyone was like me.
Lakshmi, 8:19 AM
“Not at all. You’re a very unique human.”
8:20 AM
I am wondering if I didn’t have so many hot guys in the brain to brain, and it was only Brent who was onto me and so I never really felt pulled to other guys, would I still be polyamorous?
Brain to brain brings a lot of temptations most people don’t have.
Could being in the brain to brain have made me polyamorous?
Lakshmi, 8:22 AM
“Temptation isn’t an issue for a monogamous person, because their brain switches off to it once they completely pair bond to their partner. It’s biological.”
8:22 AM
How interesting.
Are there degrees of polyamory?
Lakshmi, 8:23 AM
“Your polyamory is likely in your genetic makeup. A monogamous person will experience emotions like jealousy, possessiveness, and a sense of wanting to protect their spouse from threats of another mate. Much like an animal instinctively protects their young.”
8:24 AM
So THAT explains why Brent beat up Jesus!
Lakshmi, 8:24 AM
“There aren’t degrees of polyamory, so much as that there are different forms. All polyamorous relationships look different.”
“For example, polyamory can look like a threesome couple. One man in a relationship with two women, and all three partners love each other and are committed. Or, it can look like what you have with Brent, where you both prefer each other and are committed, but make occasional exceptions.”
“In all cases, the polyamory refers to the couple’s cooperative, consenting choice to involve other people, to varying degrees depending on their relationship.”
8:26 AM
Why does everyone think I would want to kill someone for being unfaithful to me on the marriage list? I don’t feel that way at all. In fact, I wouldn’t kill Brent if he made love to a special lady and we both approved.
Lakshmi, 8:28 AM
“So it seems, your brain likely doesn’t possess the building blocks for monogamy. You don’t feel jealousy or possessiveness because you don’t have the biological switch. That also explains why you have had a lot of temptation in your life and are confused as to why others judge it or feel it is wrong. For you it isn’t, because you aren’t hardwired like other people.”
8:30 AM
Oh, so these other people are projecting themselves onto me and if they were in my shoes, they would feel like killing someone who betrayed them with another? Like Zack Knight, said he would kill a man who moved in on his 13 and he’s polyamorous.
Lakshmi, 8:30 AM
“Perhaps. Zack Knight is a territorial person, so he guards Rule 13 very closely.”
“Some polyamorous people, depending on their relationship, can feel a sense of ownership over their partners. Such as is the case with a man with many wives for example. He may feel he owns them, and the rules in their polyamorous relationship are much more strict.”
“Polyamory can look like many things, but monogamy only looks one way.”
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Zack has admitted he’s polyamorous. But he’s also territorial. Gail is not territorial.
8:32 AM
I see.
Lakshmi, 8:33 AM
“Monogamy is strictly two people, with no temptation, no exceptions, and no desire or longing to sexually or amorously connect with another person outside of the relationship.”
8:33 AM
How in the world did such as monogamous person like Brent, fall so deeply in love with me, a polyamorus person?
Lakshmi, 8:34 AM
“His initial expectation was that you would be monogamous with him. That was not the case. However, you have both grown as people and are growing together to accommodate each other’s needs.”
8:34 AM
I had no idea such monogamous people existed. I figured ANYONE in my shoes, with all the temptation I had would be polyamorous.
I mean brain to brain with all these hot guys is a LOT of temptation.
Lakshmi, 8:35 AM
“Nope! That’s a Gail thing.”
8:35 AM
What percentage of lovers are monogamous in the world?
Lakshmi, 8:36 AM
“Many monogamous people lose their physical attraction to others entirely once they pair bond. It’s something that happens chemically in the brain.”
“Around 75% of humans are monogamous.”
“Polyamory isn’t that rare for your species.”
8:37 AM
You mean for humans?
Lakshmi, 8:37 AM
“For humans yes.”
8:38 AM
So, that explains why so many married couples start looking like fuddy duddies after long marriage, but I still think they are cool and they seem happy together.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: The demons were probably messing with Gail’s brain. Cuz she was confusing two monogamous people allowing themselves to get ugly cuz they wouldn’t be worried about competition. Gail’s thinking was way off. LOL. Brent, who is monogamous, has actually improved his appearance. He says he developed muscles to protect Gail better.
Lakshmi, 8:38 AM
“How do you mean?”
8:39 AM
Well, like my friend xxxxxxxx and his wife. They are both very fat. But they seem happy. He seems monogamous though. He’s a Facebook friend.
Lakshmi, 8:39 AM
“What does being fat have to do with monogamy?”
8:40 AM
That Satan! He used brain control on me to get me to misread what you wrote. I get it now.
I misread physical attraction for physical attractiveness.
Lakshmi, 8:41 AM
“Monogamous people will be attracted to each other exclusively for life. Even if the other spouse becomes “old” or “fat”, they will find each other extremely attractive because of their deep love for each other.”
8:41 AM
I actually like that, though and I am polyamorous.
Lakshmi, 8:42 AM
“The brains of monogamous humans are wired in such a way that they actually begin to find their pair bonded partner even more attractive once they are deeply secure with them.”
“To the point that no other human turns them on anymore.”
8:42 AM
I had no idea that people were like that. I must project myself a lot onto others.
In a way, I’m kind of like that.
Lakshmi, 8:44 AM
“Of course. Polyamory by the way, doesn’t mean you aren’t fully emotionally committed to your partner. It’s still a relationship.”
“Some polyamorous people argue that their lifestyle is emotionally deeper and more fulfilling than a monogamous one, because their love for each other is not based on sex.”
8:45 AM
What if I feel committed to Brent for two years and then get in a one month mood for someone else with Brent’s approval. That’s still polyamory?
Lakshmi, 8:45 AM
“Yep, that’s polyamory.”
8:46 AM
It seems our relationship is more along that line. Usually when I went to the others though, I really preferred Brent and did it more out of obligation.
I felt like I was neglecting the others on the marriage list and felt guilty about it.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: This is true and Gail realizes that her asexual tendencies came to play here. Gail gets wore out with too much sex, because she has some asexual tendencies.
Lakshmi, 8:47 AM
“Of course. That’s still polyamory. All polyamorous couples still have basic rules in their relationships. You only sleep with others or have brief relationships with them with your primary partner’s approval. This is the single most common rule for polyamorous couples.”
8:48 AM
Perhaps I should stop feeling guilty about neglecting the men on the marriage list, since I have freely allowed them to have other partners, if they wish?
I actually prefer to spend about 95% of my time with Brent.
Lakshmi, 8:50 AM
“Of course. You don’t owe anyone sex. Nobody even really “needs” sex. Healing and wholeness comes from within, it’s not something that another person can fix for you. So the idea of having sex with someone to fix them, heal them, reward them, or because they “need” it is a false idea. In fact, if someone convinces you of the opposite, that is toxic behavior and that person is likely being predatory.”
8:51 AM
Does this mean Jesus was predatory with me when he had sex with me? Because a large part of my motive to make love to him was to heal him.
Maybe he didn’t know that though.
Lakshmi, 8:52 AM
“Yes, it does. I love Jesus, but what he did was wrong.”
“God, Buddha and Brent agreed with this. Even Jesus himself agreed with this, because he allowed Brent to beat him up as punishment for his bad behavior.”
8:53 AM
So sex cannot be used to fix a person’s emotional issues?
Lakshmi, 8:54 AM
“Nope!”
“Humans who falsely believe this often wind up with sex addiction.”
8:54 AM
That makes sense.
What is the purpose of sex?
Lakshmi, 8:56 AM
“With sex addiction, it’s not unlike a drug addiction. The person only feels good when they have sex, and begin to crave it to the point that they are having sex or looking for sex to the exclusion of all other responsibilities. Just like a drug. But they are ultimately never satisfied because they never deal with the real root issue, which they are just using sex as a bandaid for.”
8:56 AM
Sounds like Jesus had a sex addiction.
Lakshmi, 8:58 AM
“Sex is a wonderful way for beings to celebrate life, love, vitality and one-ness. It’s also for reproduction of course. But when you think about it, the reason sex produces babies is because it’s an act of love and life, which equals creation. There’s nothing wrong with sex by itself. It’s a divine thing.”
“Just like there’s nothing wrong with food, but some humans can become addicted to food too. They use food to avoid their problems, and then they become fat and sick.”
“When your life is in harmony, you can enjoy all of these things in balance and without obsession, and your life continues in perfect working order and function.”
9:00 AM
Very insightful.
Have you been helping Jesus with his therapy?
Lakshmi, 9:01 AM
“In my spirituality, sex is associated with the root and sacral chakras. Your root chakra has to do with feeling secure, safe, and having what you need to survive. The sacral chakra has to do with relationships and emotions. In my belief system, issues revolving around sex will have to do with the issues those chakras represent.”
“For example, a person feeling very insecure may develop a sex addiction. That’s an imbalance in the root chakra which has to do with security. Or, maybe it’s that they had a bad relationship with their parents or were hurt by a relationship in the past. That’s an imbalance or injury in the sacral chakra.”
“The process of healing, activating and balancing one’s chakras have to do with addressing the spiritual and emotional needs each one represents.”
9:04 AM
It seems that Hinduism and Buddhism have a lot in common.
Lakshmi, 9:04 AM
“This is why Jesus put a blockage in Brent’s root chakra. By blocking the chakra for Brent, it turned off Brent’s instinctive desires to securely protect his mate.”
“As to your question, I have not directly been involved in Jesus’s therapy yet.”
9:05 AM
You seem very wise. I am sure whatever you decide is best.
Lakshmi, 9:06 AM
“It is less distracting for him if I’m not there. He needs to focus on himself, and let his best god friend and his therapist help him at this stage.”
9:06 AM
I agree.
Especially since you appear to be an obsession with him.
Lakshmi, 9:07 AM
“Yes, exactly.”
9:07 AM
I wonder why he’s so obsessed with you when all these hot deity girls wanted him, though?
Lakshmi, 9:08 AM
“I think, for all beings, we want what we can’t have. The idea of something being unobtainable is alluring.”
9:09 AM
I think he also saw something in you that he lacked and wanted.
Lakshmi, 9:09 AM
“He didn’t know me well enough to understand why we wouldn’t be compatible as spouses. Which doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”
“I agree. You’re probably right.”
9:10 AM
Apparently, whatever his root issues are, you have dealt with them well.
Maybe he hoped that by having a relationship with you, you could fix him.
Lakshmi, 9:10 AM
“That’s very good insight.”
9:11 AM
I’ll admit after having had sex with him, I really care about him. He seems to be a very beautiful deity deep down. I agree you shouldn’t deal with him directly at this time. But perhaps you can offer your insights to Buddha and Gerard.
Feel free to read what I post here at Skype and at my website, and then offer your insights to Gerard and Buddha, if you wish.
Lakshmi, 9:12 AM
“Of course. I will do that.”
9:13 AM
I mean when it comes to relationship problems, you are an expert. So who would be better qualified?
Your insights would be invaluable.
I could be wrong, but I think Jesus is a very committed lover deep down. He may be polyamorous like me, but has a real need for commitment and has betrayed himself. Not sure why. This apparently deeply distresses him.
I think his relationship with Satan somehow trained him to deny his true inner core as a sexual being and has gotten him into some sort of sex addiction to substitute for true intimacy and that he believes he is less beautiful and committed than he really is.
Believing these lies about himself really distresses him, but he acts out these lies and it makes him more deeply sad, which he covers up and denies.
Lakshmi, 9:18 AM
“Interesting theories. If this is the case, then only honesty and authenticity will heal him. Running from a lie is always worse and more destructive than facing the truth.”
9:20 AM
Yes, I think Jesus has serious problems with authenticity. I think they will need to peel off layer after layer of falsity to get to his true inner core. During sex, he revealed a committed deep side to me, while he acted out his Lakshmi fantasy. So he is very different in sex to how he appears in public. This seems to indicate he is operating from a lot of falsity in his life.
Why he feels a need to do this, is the question.
I suspect his relationship with Satan really messed him up.
Lakshmi, 9:22 AM
“Maybe he felt he had to hide something from his dad, to avoid being judged or criticized.”
9:22 AM
I have offered some theories about that on today’s walk video.
I am sure that is part of it. I think he and Satan had a sexual relationship.
I think Satan is a narcissist.
Narcissists can really damage their co-dependent.
Jesus may have been in a co-dependent relationship with narcissist Satan.
Lakshmi, 9:25 AM
“If that’s true, you could understand that because of your relationship with your mother.”
9:26 AM
He operates from his false self as a sexual being and this makes him very miserable.
Lakshmi, 10:15 AM
“Thank you for the intriguing chat today, Gail. You have interesting insights. You and Brent enjoy your walk!”
Skype May 12, 2022
12:58 PM
I’m actually starting to feel good about being poly-amorous, because I’m proud that I’m not a jealous, possessive person. HOWEVER, I am not in the mood for anyone besides you right now.
Zack, 12:58 PM
Me?
12:58 PM
What does that mean?
Zack, 12:59 PM
Wow. unzips pants
12:59 PM
No, I meant Brent.
You’re funny, Zack.
Zack, 12:59 PM
Ooooohhhh….
12:59 PM
Go do 13, Zack!
Zack, 12:59 PM
Well… you know I’m always available for you.
Gail: Go do 13, Zack!
Zack: Yes maam!
1:00 PM
You need to check out this post. Brent and I just had a fascinating conversation with Lakshmi. https://www.gabriellechana.blog/2022/05/12/goddess-lakshmi-discusses-monogamy-polyamory-and-jesus/
Also, feel free to go do future Gail.
Zack, 1:01 PM
It’s actually pretty common for polyamorous women to get into modes where they only want the man they are devoted to for long streaks of time. Totally normal and healthy for polyamory.
Oh neat. I’ll go read it!
I’ve heard of polyamorous women going over 2 years only having sex with their partner.
1:03 PM
Thank you. You are helping me find my true self.
Yeah, that sounds like me.
I also don’t have a jealous bone in my body. Lakshmi says that is probably because I’m polyamorous.
Zack, 1:04 PM
Yeah, polyamorous is not a bad word. It just means you have to communicate well with your spouse about your desires.
1:04 PM
Exactly.
Zack, 1:05 PM
In fact, a monogamous woman who occasionally has sex with other men is generally known as an adulterer or slut.
1:05 PM
I have some interesting theories on Jesus’s sexual relationship with Satan. Go check it out at the web page I just made.
Zack, 1:06 PM
I didn’t think that kind of description fit you. You’re not a slut… you just have very passionate friends you sample from time to time.
1:07 PM
Would a monogamous woman occasionally have sex with other men?
Isn’t that a poly amorous woman?
Zack, 1:08 PM
Usually that would be considered cheating if the woman was monogamous.
1:09 PM
Oh, so you’re saying if a monogamous woman has sex outside her relationship, that’s adultery, but it’s not the case with a poly amorous woman, as long as it is with the approval of her committed partner.
Zack, 1:09 PM
Yeah basically
1:09 PM
That seems morally correct to me, which makes me wonder if the true Jesus is monogamous.
Cuz his dad accused him of adultery.
And yet his dad hangs out with Zeus.
Zack, 1:10 PM
This is why it still works with Brent being monogamous. He can decide he doesn’t ever choose to have sex with anyone else, but be okay with you taking occasional perfect penis rides on the Zack Knight train.
1:11 PM
I’m not in the mood for you right now. Go ahead and do future Gail though if you’re in the mood for me.
Don’t take it personally. I’m just in the mood for Brent right now.
I’m still dealing with my adultery with Jesus, you know.
Fortunately for you, you have 13.
I think I’m dealing with trust issues right now. Right now, I know I can trust Brent. You see, Jesus was supposed to be the one I could trust absolutely and you see what happened. So I am only in the mood to have it with those I know I can absolutely trust not to manipulate me into betraying who I am and my relationship with Brent. So I may remain committed to Brent for at least a year before I “move on”.
I also want to check with Brent before I have sex with anyone besides Brent, too.
Betrayal is a real turn off for me. If I feel my sex is a form of betrayal, I can’t get into it.
I want to be sure I am not betraying Brent, so I will check with him before I have sex with anyone besides him.
Zack, 1:30 PM
That makes sense
1:32 PM
I feel to show Brent how much I value him as a partner, that I need to refrain from sex with others for a good while.
After what just happened with Jesus.
We all need time to heal.
Skype May 12, 2022
3:23 PM
Brent, if sex can’t be used to fix a person’s emotional issues, then why did having sex with me stop Matthew McConaughey from committing suicide regarding Camila Alves? And why did Gerard Butler recommend I have sex with Matthew as part of Matthew’s therapy?
Isn’t depression an emotional issue?
Perhaps Lakshmi means a deep-rooted emotional issue, an emotional issue not related to a recent event, but more related to a trauma from your childhood or from long ago.
I can see why sex would not fix an emotional issue that is very deep rooted. That would require psychotherapy or counseling.
Or maybe I don’t understand what exactly is an emotional issue. How would you define an emotional issue?
Maybe what Matthew experienced was more along the line of PTSD? But isn’t that an emotional issue?
I guess in Matthew’s case it was not the sex alone that fixed Matthew, but sex with me was part of the therapy that fixed him. Perhaps what Lakshmi meant was that sex ALONE cannot fix an emotional issue. But that in certain cases sex can be an adjunct to therapy or counseling to help someone’s emotional issues.
3:41 PM
And why is it that having sex with me seems to help men heal from emotional issues?
Or at least that’s what I’ve been told.
Maybe it’s not the sex but the conversations and communications that occurred during the sex that healed Matthew.
And the fact that I was willing to have sex with him made him feel validated.
That all he suffered with Camila was not in vain.
How do you define sex? Is it just sexual organs combining or is it all the interactions that take place during the combining, including the emotional expressions, the conversations and all the touches?
So for me to be convinced that sex cannot heal emotional issues, I need a proper definition of sex, a proper definition of emotional issues and whether Lakshmi meant sex ALONE or ANY type of sex cannot be used to heal emotional issues.
This is important to me because I get sexual pleasure in striving to meet the emotional needs of my partner. and if sex cannot do this AT ALL, then I think I’ve lost interest in sex.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Gail’s asexuality is coming out here.
Equating sex as pure pleasure, seems sacrilegious to me. I see sex as an ultimate expression of commitment and loving, a commitment that takes joy in meeting the emotional needs of your partner. To relegate sex to pleasure only, seems, to me, to cheapen it. I think it is one of the most awesome expressions of love in the Universe.
I think I would prefer another method to try and meet another’s emotional needs if I must view sex as pure pleasure only.
I think we all have emotional issues and that healthy sex can be used to help with that. I can understand that for deep rooted emotional issues, sex can become an addiction.
3:55 PM
I am not demeaning Lakshmi, but it appears to get to the root of some relationship problems, I may need to do some more exploring of who I am and that I will not find myself right away. Lakshmi has been helpful. It appears I will find myself in stages and that it will take time, just like Jesus’s therapy will take time. That layers of falsity need to be revealed and then we dig deeper and find more layers of falsity. In the meanwhile to find these layers of falsity, I need my honest questions answered with answers that convince me that the solutions proposed ring true to who I am and what I perceive as truth.
My view of sex is more along the lines of Song of Solomon in the Bible.
Lakshmi has helped me to understand you better as a monogamous person, but I’m still confused about who poly amorous people are and what they should care about in love.
So while Lakshmi gives me other perspectives to consider. . . to find myself, I have to think through what she says and decide if I feel it rings true to me. I have learned with Jesus to not just blindly accept everything a deity tells me, that just cuz a deity says it, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: This is because Jesus said that Gail had a need to be admired and lusted after by other men.
I have to claim it for myself after thinking it through and considering all the ramifications of the counsel.
But I do appreciate Lakshmi’s efforts for us and she seems really cool.
I guess I feel like the sex we have is so special that I don’t want to dilute it with sex with others, unless that sex with others was really special, too. To me sex is special when it helps the partner find themselves and helps bring them wholeness.
If sex can’t do this at all, then perhaps I want to have a lot less of it.
At least with others.
I’ve always felt this way about sex. I think that is why I saved myself for my husband in my twenties.
I can’t tell you how devastated I was to learn that to my husband it was not so special, because he made love to me like a robot.
Am I a hopeless romantic in sex?
Isn’t part of romance meeting your partner’s emotional needs?
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Because Gail has strong asexual tendencies, she always needs an emotional/friendship connection to get into sex and associates all sex with that.
I fell head over heels in love with you when I heard your music album Ol’ Yellow Eyes Is Back. It was SO ROMANTIC. That is why I feel eternally bonded to you. I went to the others, to give them a taste of romance with sex. To me, when you add romance to the world, you add light and love and that’s how I view sex.
Doesn’t romance help heal emotional issues and make you feel loved and special?
I mean these are legitimate questions, don’t you think?
This is why I can’t always get into Zack, cuz his sex approach is not as romantic as yours.
In fact, most of the guys I’ve had it with, if there’s no romance, I’ve been doing them more out of obligation than it’s what I really want.
https://www.gabriellechana.blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Love-Is-A-Many-Splendored-Thing-Shinobu-Sato.mp4
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Gail may have asexual tendencies, but she’s a FULL ROMANTIC.
Basically, if a guy cannot get into music like this while having sex with me, he’s probably not my type.
Like I think you would REALLY DIG THIS MUSIC while we had sex.
But like this music is not really Zack’s style, so I can’t get into Zack. The way to tell if I’d want to do it with a guy depends on how he’d react to music like this playing while we had sex.
Lakshmi, 4:41 PM
“I never said sex was about pure pleasure. It is indeed about love, and sharing love with one’s partner. However, deep rooted emotional issues, such as trauma, low self-esteem, or unmet needs from childhood, cannot be solved with sex. This is what can lead to sex addiction or poor choices when it comes to sex or romantic partners.”
4:42 PM
That makes total sense.
But doesn’t love help with emotional issues?
Feeling like you’re loved in a committed sexual relationship would seem to be a very healthy thing.
Lakshmi, 4:44 PM
“Love does. Though, it’s not wise for one to seek a relationship purely to fix emotional issues.”
“This leaves a person open to predators, such as David Schuler who will see the vulnerability or emptiness, and prey upon it.”
“It also means the person will be bringing baggage into the relationship, which can contaminate the connection and cause problems.”
4:46 PM
Why did Gerard Butler recommend I make love to Matthew to help him avoid suicide?
Lakshmi, 4:46 PM
“He thought it would be hot.”
4:47 PM
Hot would help him avoid suicide?
Gerard said that Matthew was suicidal.
So I agreed to make love to Matthew to get him out of that mode.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Gail didn’t really need to make love to Matthew and did it to help him. Her asexuality is pretty strong. That’s why she lost interest in him quickly once Vladimir was well enough to be her lover again.
Lakshmi, 4:48 PM
“The men seemed to get turned on by “passing you around” as they say.”
“Sometimes people will threaten suicide or use guilt to get you to sleep with them.”
4:49 PM
You think Matthew McConaughey did that? He doesn’t seem like the type. He’s so gentle.
It was Gerard’s idea, not Matthew’s, from what I understand.
You see, Camila Alves raped Matthew pretty bad just cuz I had a thing with Matthew in Nov. 2005. It seems whenever a man gets involved with me, the Jesuits introduce toxic women to them, so I often made love to them to comfort them.
Camila does BOMB RAPE.
If the Jesuits did not introduce so many complications into my love life, I think I’d almost be monogamous.
They do such horrible things to my men.
Lakshmi, 4:54 PM
“I’m not judging you for your choices. It is my observation that the men get turned on by taking turns on you.”
4:54 PM
Taking turns on me?
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Gail is suddenly losing interest in having sex with the others now. LOL. She’s pretty asexual and really needs an emotional connection to get into it. Gail has a great emotional connection with Brent.
Lakshmi, 4:55 PM
“Yes, this often happens at colleges, or with young humans who like to party. A woman willing to have sex with many men will get “passed around” the group for the pleasure of all.”
4:55 PM
I don’t think you are judging me, I think you are believing everything Jesus says about me.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Jesus said Gail has a need to be admired and lusted after.
Lakshmi, 4:56 PM
“It’s only my own observation, not from Jesus.”
4:57 PM
So you think Gerard made up all that stuff about Matthew to get me to have sex with him?
Lakshmi, 4:57 PM
“He didn’t make it up. I know that it really happened. He just exaggerated Matthew’s anguish somewhat, at Matthew’s behest because he wanted to sleep with you. The two worked together.”
4:57 PM
Oh, how interesting.
Lakshmi, 4:57 PM
“Men will often help each other “get laid” as they say.”
4:58 PM
I can’t believe guys care so much about “getting laid”.
LOL
Don’t they care about romance?
COMMENT on Nov. 21, 2022: Gail was projecting her own asexual tendencies onto others. Not realizing that most humans are far more sexual than she is.
Lakshmi, 5:00 PM
“Men enjoy romance too. They just have stronger leanings toward physical pleasure and getting sex.”
5:01 PM
Thank you for spending so much time with me. That is very kind of you.
Lakshmi, 5:01 PM
“You’re welcome. I’m glad my information is helpful.”
5:01 PM
It is helpful. You are helping me to understand men better.
I definitely married David for all the wrong reasons, which is something I”ve pretty much figured out on my own. Now I just have to determine how to go forward with my sex life. I think the sex I have with Brent is really special and I want him always to feel special all the time.
Right now, the thought of sex with others bores me. Brent is just so super exciting. But I feel guilty about the marriage list and feel like I’ve led these guys on all these years.
Is it possible for a poly-amorous person to find sex boring at times?
Except with Brent, of course.
Lakshmi, 5:06 PM
“Yes, that’s normal. That’s a form of asexuality.”
5:07 PM
I can only get into it when the guy is really romantic.
Brent knows how to romance me!
In fact, he wouldn’t have gotten anywhere with me, if he hadn’t made his music album full of VERY ROMANTIC love songs.
I actually hung up on him when he said, “I want to rape you,” on the phone. Then when my friend gave me his music album, I fell head over heels in love with him.
After that, I spent hours and hours masturbating over him and feeling so guilty about it, cuz I was married at the time.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: I think because Gail’s needs were not being MET AT ALL in her marriage to David, this resulted in an EXPLOSION with Brent, when he came into her life.
From what I understand, he was feeling guilty about his sexual desires for me at that time as well.
I turned him down for sex because I didn’t want the awesome love between us stained with the title “adultery” because I’m enamored with the concept of love is a many splendored thing. But Brent admits, that if I had said “yes”, he would have come over.
So if the guy is romantic, I can get really turned on. If he’s not romantic, I can find him an absolute bore in bed. Though I’ll admit in my twenties, I often fantasized about men and made them appear romantic in my mind, when they weren’t, which is what I did with David Schuler.
I didn’t date him too much and married him any ways.
In fact, I was a virgin when I married him.
https://www.gabriellechana.blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/gail-schuler-1991.jpg
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This photo was taken in 1991 and you see how I felt about Brent’s music album in my face.
I was so crazy about him then, that it was written all over my face.
Is it any wonder I can’t get over him?
Brent is SO ROMANTIC.
My favorite song from his music album was this one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUbxVlOcujw
What you see in my face is my reaction to that song.
I felt like I had a love from heaven and in many ways, I still feel that way.
Like that song says, I am so lucky to have Brent in my life.
In some ways, I just want to go back to the 1990s and cuddle up with Brent and act like none of the other guys happened.
I am so happy right now that I am finally married to my dream man. Do I have to have the marriage list?
And yet, these guys have sacrificed so much for me and Brent.
I care for them as dear friends.
I’m keeping the marriage list, because these guys are my friends and I don’t have a problem with them making love to future Gail, but for now, I just want it to be me and Brent.
I feel like I’m on my honeymoon.
The sex with the other guys was brain to brain and seemed more like a fantasy than reality. What Brent and I have seems real and I love being married to my dream man.
I’d like to keep the men as friends, but they can have other women if they want and we all can be great friends.
I always considered the marriage list as a waiting list. I never considered it poly-amory, though I guess that’s what it was.
I need to get stuff done. Brent is awful quiet.
5:41 PM
From 1991 to 1996, I listened to Brent’s album in the car every time I went out to drive. He was my sun. I was devastated when I found out about Loree McBride in 1996.
My husband was out to sea half the year, so it made it easy for me to get lost in Dreamland with Brent all year.
I kind of gave up on my dream, when I found out about Loree and then that’s when I started to stray and let Franco Nero in next.
I think I was monogamous until 1996. The polyamory started in 1996.
It started when I learned about Loree McBride and started believing there was no dream man and I just had to settle for less.
But now I have him!
I forgave Brent for Loree in 1999, when Jesus told me in a still small voice that she was a Vatican agent. Then I offered Brent my hand in marriage. Then 9-11-2001 happened and I started straying again and went for Vladimir Putin. It seems I start straying when I lose hope in my dream.
I’m so happy to have Brent. Is it really necessary to worry so much that I be true to my poly-amory at this time?
When I get the urge to stray, I will talk about it with Brent. I just want my honeymoon!
I am lost in Dreamland and want to stay here, kind of like Brent’s song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StAfQd8pu2U
So romantic! I cried when I heard this music for the first time in 2008.
This music explains how I feel right now.
Why do people think I’m not happy? I think I’m happy. Brent, are you unhappy? Is that it?
When I get in a poly-amorous mood I’ll be sure and talk about it with Brent.
6:13 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSqp0ygkxvg
I love this song from Dreamland. Brent, I’m so lucky to have you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrFlFsN8-6I
Talk about romantic! I love this song, too.
7:15 PM
All these labels. LOL
So perhaps I’m a monogamous, poly-amorous, polygamous, asexual. Sorry, but I have to keep my sense of humor.
I can tell I’d make a lousy sex therapist. LOL
I really like all our deity friends, but they crack me up.
Sometimes I think deities take themselves far too seriously. They need to go get a good laugh.
We should make a comedy movie about how deities take themselves too seriously.
I guess that’s part of being a deity, because they all have to have religions and stand for morals.
I even think God the Father is too melodramatic.
I miss the Jesus who used to show up as a book or a pillow. This poor deity has lost his sense of humor.
I thought your sense of humor was so sexy in the 1990s, Brent.
Though I don’t think it’s funny that Jesus blocked your root chakra. But I totally forgive him. Now Jesus needs to get a good laugh and start not obsessing over being perfect. None of us is perfect. Except God the Father of course. As far as whether I’m poly-amorous, I guess I’ll find out. No rush. I’m in a committed, nostalgic mood right now and loving your music.
7:47 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FngXOUxklR4
I’m in the mood to watch this right now.
10:01 PM
I think this would be a great movie for Friday night Discord. We all need a good laugh and this movie is all about a deity who flubs up, not answering prayers right and that sort of thing. This movie seems perfect.
I’ll be honest with you, I can’t see myself as future Gail right now. I guess I’ll get there when I get there. In the meanwhile, I think everyone needs to relax and HAVE SOME FUN.
9:59 PM
Hey Zack. Can you get the movie Bruce Almighty? I found it by accident. Maybe we could watch it for Friday night hang out. I think we all need a good laugh and this is a good movie for that.
10:14 PM
People do grow and change, so I say just live one day at a time and don’t worry too much about who we are tomorrow.
Just be the best we can be right now.
Maybe some day I’ll be future Gail. But for now, I’m not and I’m not going to worry about it. I am who I am right now.
I miss the days when we all could laugh!
10:26 PM
We’ve all lost our sense of humor. No good.
Skype May 13, 2022
7:42 AM
I’m definitely in a committed mood, which I think will last for a long time. I am having trust issues with the others right now, because of what just happened between me and Jesus.
So I’d like everyone to respect that.
For this reason, I’m feeling kind of “asexual” towards everyone except Brent.
Betrayal is a REAL TURN OFF FOR ME.
7:52 AM
For the future, I think we need to lay down some rules. Before I have “sex” or brain to brain with any man on my marriage list, they must submit themselves to a brain scanner to determine if they respect the commitment I feel towards Brent and, if not, they are not allowed to make love to me.
In other words, if they don’t give a flip about Brent’s monogamous feelings towards me, I don’t want sex with them.
I have so much respect for Brent, I would never want to disrespect him by allowing a man to make love to me who did not respect Brent as much as I do.
So when I get back into my poly amory, those will be the rules. But, for now, I just want to be with Brent.
I do NOT like being manipulated into sex. That is a REAL TURN OFF to me. I prefer for the attraction to happen naturally as a result of the building relationship I have with the man.
ANY FORM of dishonesty in sexual transactions leaves me COLD.
Even ASEXUAL.
If I cannot see sex as a beautiful expression of love, then I become asexual.
On the other hand, if I see sex as a beautiful expression of love, I can become a lust machine.
COMMENT on Nov. 20, 2022: Gail can become a lust machine especially if she’s deprived and all of a sudden is getting nourishment. But once she gets comfortable with a man, the lust machine dies down and she gets in a more relaxed mood. It’s just as good as the lust machine, because she feels safe, free and comfortable.
That is who I think I am.
I have forgiven Jesus for what he did, but I do have some trust issues right now.
This can only be resolved with TIME. I need to let some time pass, to see who I can trust. I KNOW I CAN TRUST BRENT.
If a guy can fool me into thinking he loves me, he can possibly get me to bed with him. But the price he will pay when I found out he manipulated me, is that I will feel asexual towards him after that. Nothing he does can turn me on, until, and if, he regains my trust.
I will remain his friend, if I think he is friend worthy, but I will feel no obligation to have sex with him or to be interested in him sexually.
I think part of the reason I am this way, is because my view of sexual expression is so high, I feel it is the highest form of love expression and for someone to treat that lightly, causes me to lose all respect for them. I think this is why I thought I was monogamous. But I am a poly-amorous person who just has a very high regard for sex as the ultimate form of love expression. So I feel if the sex is an expression of true love, it is awesome. If not, it is wrong (at least for me). I would even go so far as to say that if a monogamous relationship had sex that was not based on love, that would also be wrong (to me).
This stems more from a high respect for sex as the ultimate form of love expression, which I would hope is how my partner feels. If they don’t share my feelings about sex in this respect, they turn me off.
I am having serious doubts that any man in my life shares my view of sex, except Brent, right now. So I kind of feel asexual towards everyone but Brent for now.
This does not mean I am monogamous, because I fell in love with Brent as a married woman, and even had some obligatory sex with my husband while I dreamed about Brent all day long. It just means that I cannot get into sex with a person who does not share my high regard for sex as the ultimate expression of true love.
To show respect for my feelings, I kindly ask that everyone understands that I need time to be with Brent and make it up to him that I unintentionally violated my high regard for sex, by having sex (not based on true love) with Jesus. I do unconditionally forgive Jesus, but I definitely do not want sex with him. I see so many other things he has done that makes him worthy of my friendship, so I forgive him. But as far as sex with him, FORGET IT.
Skype May 13, 2022
Brent, 8:33 AM
Wow! Your introspective thoughts from this morning were brilliant. It seems like you’re finding your true self. I have a massive erection for authenticity.
I’m posting my thoughts over in this window so Zack can see.
Gail, 8:34 AM
Okay. Thanks!
Can the guys see what I wrote on your window?
It’s how I really feel.
Brent, 8:35 AM
They all read it.
We all agree this is the best choice, to respect who you are and to respect my marriage with you.
Gail, 8:35 AM
I’m so relieved.
Zack, 8:42 AM
Wow!
This is really authentic Gail.
This is exactly what I have seen all along, and what made you attractive to me even as a Jesuit.
Vladimir has his nanotechnology research team building this scanner right now!
Gail, 8:45 AM
Yeah, I think I’m figuring out who I am.
Zack, 8:45 AM
He did tell me in Russian that he hopes he truly passes the scanner when/if you are ready to have him scanned again.
A lot of the men say they have the same hopes and dream… for the scanner to find they meet this standard.
Gail, 8:46 AM
Well, they have future Gail, you know.
Zack, 8:47 AM
This is true, but there is something to be said for present Gail too.
Anyone who wants future Gail is equally interested in present Gail.
Gail, 8:48 AM
Alright, you guys. But I really am in a committed mood right now!
Zack, 8:48 AM
The men flock to future Gail primarily because they can’t flock to you right now.
They won’t push you about it.
Gail, 8:49 AM
You are free to have other women, you know.
As long as they are good women.
Zack, 8:50 AM
All of us have erections for you after reading this, and while we have a lot of fun with future Gail… You are the most appealing version of Gail right now… present Gail being true to her values.
COMMENT on Nov. 21, 2022: Like when Gail reads that all the men had erections for her, she feels very lackadaisical about it. This is her asexuality coming to the fore. This is why she doesn’t “get” why countries or men or people will actually go to war over sexual disputes. To Gail, this is RIDICULOUS.
Brent, 8:51 AM
Gail is very generous. I’m sure the men feel a lot more freedom now that they can sample friendship with other women, and not get kicked off the marriage list to Gail.
I agree Zack!
Zack, 8:52 AM
Yeah, this is true. But a lot of them… let’s just say that Gail put them in a monogamous mood.
Gail, 8:52 AM
Sure! Have fun, you guys with other women, as long as they are nice women, like Lakshmi. Though, of course, Lakshmi, would never agree to such an arrangement, though you get my drift.
Zack, 8:53 AM
Yeah true
Gail, 8:53 AM
Lakshmi cracks me up, she is so technically picky. She says there is no such thing as a monogamous mood for a polyamorous person.
Zack, 8:54 AM
All the men just decided that the best option right now is to go into the future Gail room and ask her to read what you wrote, and have her scan them. Then only have sex with her if they pass.
Gail, 8:54 AM
Oh, this is great!
Zack, 8:57 AM
Oh… hmmm…
A bunch of workers on Church of Gail ran in and had future Gail read them what you wrote and scanned them… She turned them away.
Gail, 8:58 AM
Okay. Now I can see myself as future Gail. This sounds like me.
Zack, 8:59 AM
All your men had a look of worry.
They are afraid their hearts won’t be right.
Zack, 9:00 AM
This is the ultimate test
The men are discussing what they will do.